Papa Arndt's cryptic post

[AngelGirl8811]

Damn! I was so excited, I thought that there was finally an Arndt courting! :penguin-no:

Maybe it will happen someday and Mama definitely wears the shorts in that family! Papa is too spacey to be a real headship!

[quiversR4hunting]

I don't find the Arndt's creepy really...and they don't isolate their children nearly as much as some fundies. The 'boys' all work in the real world - and presumably come across a large cross section of people, especially seeing some of them work as court transcribers. Then there are the infamous softball games which are publicised and pretty much anyone is welcome IIRC. They have a lot more exposure to the general populace than most fundies.

The older guys probably do meet some, but whether they are up to their standards is another thing, and yeah, I agree it's probably dear old Mum that wears the pants (or rather shorts) in that house. If the dad is the headship and must be obeyed, it's only because she says so.

This family really fascinates me. I don't know how they have managed to keep all those older sons presumably pure and virginal for so long. Tis weird...

They fascinate me too. I bet the boys are a bit awkward around the girls. I wonder if they know how to talk to women without being preachy or talking about penguins. :penguin-no: If they do meet a nice girl I bet the minute she finds out he still lives at home with his eleventy brothers and one sister - none married- none in relationships, I bet she runs for the Wisconsin hills!

[HereticHick]

If only we could introduce them to the Seven Farmgirl Sisters.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I think these isolationist type families like the Arndts are just too creepy. How would these guys even meet girls? I think it has to be their Mom who is pulling all the strings and keeping them reigned in for so many adult men to still be acting like little boys.

This is the flaw, but here's why: If they let the older kids out to meet people, they may learn that there are other ways of living and bring that home to the little children. Therefore, everyone must stay a little kid and "innocent." I guarantee you there are kids of this sort who do NOT leave the homestead: A parent and maybe an elder kid does the shopping, Mom "heals" with those ridiculous non-Pot "herbs" and Pyramid Scheme Essential Oils so no need of the doctor, if they live very rural then they do Church at home with Daddy as the pastor, 4-H could happen if they register as their own club (you can do this), they eschew homeschool groups that don't have a signed statement of faith and no activities that are age-segregated. So, they never meet anyone unless something so catastrophic happens that they must go to the ER.

[16strong]

So, when the Arndt parents kick the bucket, what are all the chidults going to do? Fill their parents's bedroom with stuffed penguins and make a shrine out of it? Become a gaggle of cloistered male nuns?

[nokidsmom]

They are a different breed that's for sure. They don't fall into the traditional fundie "mold" what with Mom and Wizzy in their shorts and the manboys are allowed to work their jobs and travel separate from the family plus workout at the Y. "Isolationist" is probably a better word rather than fundie but even that doesn't totally fit either. They are really their own brand of a cultish family. Just as the Maxwells are their own brand of a cultish family.

I have long felt that Mom is the one that wears the shorts pants in the family and is probably the biggest driver of whatever insular thinking that has taken hold in those kids. If so, she is not one to be underestimated since she is 14 for 14 as far as any of those kids showing any signs of leaving, rebelling or discontent. Dad is in charge but in name only and has probably gone along more with Mom rather than being an initiator type.

[formergothardite]

I get the feeling that as long as Dad gets to play in the world of Vine Valley he doesn't really pay attention to much else besides abortion. I think Mom runs that house and it will be very hard for any of those men to break away from her.

[nokidsmom]

I get the feeling that as long as Dad gets to play in the world of Vine Valley he doesn't really pay attention to much else besides abortion. I think Mom runs that house and it will be very hard for any of those men to break away from her.

Yeah, he strikes me as being rather out of it aside from his eternal film project and mumblings about abortion.

Any prospective DIL will have a major fight with Mom over the son's love and attention. In short, they are all Mommy's boys. Wonder if any girls interested in them have spotted that from miles away (or have been warned) and steer clear. Maybe the family's reputation is such that they are considered too weird and people avoid getting involved with them. Which further feeds the family's insularity and whatever "there's evil in the outside world and we must shield ourselves from it" mentality is going on. Having come from a family that was somewhat insular like this, I suspect that there's some kind of mentality like that going on and has seriously stunted those manboys. And Mom's just fine with it because it keeps her adoring boys close.

[Hane]

I wonder whether the manboys share a condition that causes them to have abnormally low testosterone levels.

[nokidsmom]

I wonder whether the manboys share a condition that causes them to have abnormally low testosterone levels.

I have thought of it too but it seems to me that it would be a freak of nature for it to occur in all 13 of them. But freaks of nature do occur.

It's just so weird.

[Hane]

I have thought of it too but it seems to me that it would be a freak of nature for it to occur in all 13 of them. But freaks of nature do occur.

It's just so weird.

Could it be any stranger than a family with 14 kids--13 of them boys?

[AngelGirl8811]

I have thought of it too but it seems to me that it would be a freak of nature for it to occur in all 13 of them. But freaks of nature do occur.

It's just so weird.

It is the Arndts though, so they're just weird. I can't imagine low testosterone in all 13 though! They just seem to be content with their lives. I don't think I would ever drink the water at the Arndt household.

[nokidsmom]

Could it be any stranger than a family with 14 kids--13 of them boys?

You have a point. :)

[nokidsmom]

It is the Arndts though, so they're just weird. I can't imagine low testosterone in all 13 though! They just seem to be content with their lives. I don't think I would ever drink the water at the Arndt household.

They live out in the country on a good piece of property. Maybe it's something in their well water?

[AngelGirl8811]

They live out in the country on a good piece of property. Maybe it's something in their well water?

It has to be something! One would think at least one of the adult sons would get sick of living at home and it's not like they can't support themselves. They are a complete mystery!

[nokidsmom]

It has to be something! One would think at least one of the adult sons would get sick of living at home and it's not like they can't support themselves. They are a complete mystery!

I know. My rather insular family was 1 for 3 as far as us getting sick of life stuck in the gulag family home (I got sick of it by the time I was 16 but left as soon as done with college, other two stayed until their 30s, long story). That all 13 of them aren't showing any sort of discontent is remarkable in a disturbing kind of way. The working manboys could make a beeline at anytime. It's like they are given the keys to their prison to let themselves out and yet keep coming back.

ETA: pardon the word "gulag" but the that's the best way to describe the rather dreary environment that was my family home. Negative, I know but I call it for what it is.

[AngelGirl8811]

I know. My rather insular family was 1 for 3 as far as us getting sick of life stuck in the gulag family home (I got sick of it by the time I was 16 but left as soon as done with college, other two stayed until their 30s, long story). That all 13 of them aren't showing any sort of discontent is remarkable in a disturbing kind of way. The working manboys could make a beeline at anytime. It's like they are given the keys to their prison to let themselves out and yet keep coming back.

ETA: pardon the word "gulag" but the that's the best way to describe the rather dreary environment that was my family home. Negative, I know but I call it for what it is.

I know, I have heard similar stories of people who want to keep their children home for as long as possible. They never seem to be able to hang onto them all though, not once. That's why the Arndts are so fascinating I think. They have men in their 30s who have shown no sign of wanting to get out.They just seem content to post on FamTeam and stay home. I know it's hard to say what is truly going on because we don't see much of their lives but they aren't going anywhere either.

[nokidsmom]

I know, I have heard similar stories of people who want to keep their children home for as long as possible. They never seem to be able to hang onto them all though, not once. That's why the Arndts are so fascinating I think. They have men in their 30s who have shown no sign of wanting to get out.They just seem content to post on FamTeam and stay home. I know it's hard to say what is truly going on because we don't see much of their lives but they aren't going anywhere either.

A friend of mine was the only one of four who got out. Incidentally she was the only girl. The three boys are still at home in their 50's. One is disabled but the other two are working and show no desire to get out. Even my friend found it sad.

In my family, I was seen as the one who broke up the family. Seriously. I wonder if something like that is going with the Arndts. That "The Family" is a sacred thing and something as normal as leaving to make your own way is seen as something terrible to do to The Family. And it's something you don't want to be.

[AngelGirl8811]

A friend of mine was the only one of four who got out. Incidentally she was the only girl. The three boys are still at home in their 50's. One is disabled but the other two are working and show no desire to get out. Even my friend found it sad.

In my family, I was seen as the one who broke up the family. Seriously. I wonder if something like that is going with the Arndts. That "The Family" is a sacred thing and something as normal as leaving to make your own way is seen as something terrible to do to The Family. And it's something you don't want to be.

They do seem to be really into their family and I can see not wanting to break up your family. I mean you want to please your parents so much but there also comes a time where you have to make yourself happy. That's not easy in a normal household so I can't imagine in a family like the Arndts. They all seem to genuinely love each other and despite their weirdness that does shine through. So that would make it hard and I imagine that it would be seen as a betrayal.

[Coco]

I wonder if their parents convinced them they had to have ridiculously difficult financial goals in place before marriage. Then they kind of got into a Groundhog Day cycle, and the right women just haven't come along. When their sister gets married i bet that will break the spell.

[nokidsmom]

They do seem to be really into their family and I can see not wanting to break up your family. I mean you want to please your parents so much but there also comes a time where you have to make yourself happy. That's not easy in a normal household so I can't imagine in a family like the Arndts. They all seem to genuinely love each other and despite their weirdness that does shine through. So that would make it hard and I imagine that it would be seen as a betrayal.

The thing is that moving out and getting your own life is not really breaking up the family. You are still their child and they are still your parents. Nothing changes that. The relationship is still there. What does change is that you (generic you) are an adult now and the relationship should shift from adult parent/minor child to adult parent/adult child. That change can be hard but it's also healthy for both. But when it's seen as some terrible thing of epic proportions to do to a parent because they still identify as parents of children and don't want to make that change from parent of child to parent of adult (and thereby losing control, which I think is at the heart of it) at the expense of their children's lives something is wrong.

[rural juror]

They do seem to be really into their family and I can see not wanting to break up your family. I mean you want to please your parents so much but there also comes a time where you have to make yourself happy. That's not easy in a normal household so I can't imagine in a family like the Arndts. They all seem to genuinely love each other and despite their weirdness that does shine through. So that would make it hard and I imagine that it would be seen as a betrayal.

Agreed. They clearly have a lot of fun together and enjoy each other's company. They all seem like very easy-going mellow guys (in their videos and website) and not the rebellious type. Also, I think the older guys set a precedent. If Paul or John had gotten his own place 10 years ago, I'm sure many other guys would follow suit. If I recall correctly, the older 4 or so guys have a whole floor to themselves with more space and possibly their own bedrooms. Perhaps they were content to stay home in their 20s, but now as they're nearing midde age and almost all their younger sibling are adults sleeping in bunk beds, the whole arrangement is becoming increasingly odd.

[AngelGirl8811]

Agreed. They clearly have a lot of fun together and enjoy each other's company. They all seem like very easy-going mellow guys (in their videos and website) and not the rebellious type. Also, I think the older guys set a precedent. If Paul or John had gotten his own place 10 years ago, I'm sure many other guys would follow suit. If I recall correctly, the older 4 or so guys have a whole floor to themselves with more space and possibly their own bedrooms. Perhaps they were content to stay home in their 20s, but now as they're nearing midde age and almost all their younger sibling are adults sleeping in bunk beds, the whole arrangement is becoming increasingly odd.

I think that with the older guys when they built the house, it probably seemed like a really good arrangement for them. The probably went from sharing a bedroom to having their own space, or at least more space. But now that there are more older guys, it seems odder because none of them have moved on. They seem to be so easy going that they are probably just happy. It's odd to us but they're happy.

[Black Aliss]

They live out in the country on a good piece of property. Maybe it's something in their well water?

Well, they say potassium nitrate (saltpeter) doesn't have the effect of suppressing sexual drive in men, but I'm beginning to wonder. . .

[Feberin]

Agreed. They clearly have a lot of fun together and enjoy each other's company. They all seem like very easy-going mellow guys (in their videos and website) and not the rebellious type. Also, I think the older guys set a precedent. If Paul or John had gotten his own place 10 years ago, I'm sure many other guys would follow suit. If I recall correctly, the older 4 or so guys have a whole floor to themselves with more space and possibly their own bedrooms. Perhaps they were content to stay home in their 20s, but now as they're nearing midde age and almost all their younger sibling are adults sleeping in bunk beds, the whole arrangement is becoming increasingly odd.

I think the Arndts are one of those families that only get creepier over time. I mean ten or so years ago when they only had a few adults then it wasn't that odd. You could assume their oldest boys were happy at home. But with each year as they get older and older with more reaching 18 it just seems so bizarre that not a single one has decided to leave home. I wonder if there is going to be a breaking point like others have suggested where Wizzy gets married and the manboys decide to also leave home. Or will the all live there for eternity continuing to play with penguins and having cake in Mommy and Daddy's bedroom on their birthday?