Jessa & BinBob's registries: Asking for over $30,000

[grandmadugger]

Yeah, that's what I read too. But I don't do a lot of bread doughs anyway ...

Thanks to everyone who weighed in on the KitchenAid mixer issue! I'm still not entirely convinced though. Is a KitchenAid better than no stand mixer? Sure! Is a KitchenAid better than any other stand mixer? I don't know. I don't think that many of the people who rave about the KitchenAid (not necessarily here on the board, but just in general) have ever owned another stand mixer so they can't compare.

I really love the look of the Ankarsrum LadyBlue mentioned! If only I was rich!

I have the pro model not one of the Artisans. I've had it about 8 years and no issues. If you have a Hobart repair in your area, they do commercial equipment, they can fix the pro ones for you. My husband worked with Hobart when he was looking for mine and that's what they told him. He could get me a baby Hobart cheaper by buying the Kitchen Aid even though they were the same thing.

[catlady]

I have a problem with people registering for non-housewares on principle; this is not what registries are for. They originated as a way of guests CHOOSING to give gifts to provide necessities while avoiding duplicates and/or keeping with the couple's tastes. It got out of hand when society began seeing weddings as acceptable gift-grabs, IMO; and Miss Manners once told a Gentle Reader that the only thing a guest is expected to give is good wishes. So, since these kids had nothing of their own, a few over-the-top items could have been forgiven, but who really furnishes their house at BB&B? (and does Jessa have no style? her appliances are all different colors.) But camping equipment and such (from anyone, not just Duggars) have always annoyed me. Last year a cousin-in-law registered for activities at her Caribbean honeymoon destination. I threw out the resort's website info that was tucked into the wedding invitation and bought her some cut-glass serving dishes. Even Mr. CatLady felt that if they couldn't afford the trip, they shouldn't have gone there.

For the record, I intentionally did not have a registry, and the only duplicates we received were three butcher blocks. 20 years later, we are currently using the third one. And while we honeymooned in Aruba, we funded the trip ourselves.

And to join the Kitchen-Aid discussion, I don't have one, but my sister does, and she absolutely loves it, has many attachments, and uses it several times per week. It's brushed steel, so it doesn't clash with her orange kitchen.

[Lillybee]

I am surprised that she didn't ask for a bread machine because isn't it one of Gothard's rules that bread must be homemade and flour made daily.

[RabbitKM]

The other thing about registries is that if you put too much, then people have too many options. If your goal is to complete a set of something, and there are too many options in general of what to buy, then you'll never complete any sets! Example: If you want a whole set of china, or bedding, or utinsels, what have you, you don't want people only buying a few of each set. You want the whole set to be completed by the time you get married. Obviously, it is nice to allow multiple people chip in to the set via the online registry. But you don't want to end up with just 4 forks and no knives, or just pillow cases and no duvet, but thank god you got that fancy cutting board or machete.

[Joywave]

Awhile back, a friend of mine got married. They had a registry that was basically divided into his and hers. The guy she married was a complete tool - he registered for underwear (!), video games, and a console only he would play, while she registered for several modest kitchen and bathroom staples. You know, stuff they would actually need for their new home. I gifted them with one of the kitchen appliances she asked for.

No one ever bought him his drawers or games, and he later complained about that. It's like, seriously? These weren't things you needed for a new home, they were just toys you wanted to play with and tried to use your wedding as an excuse to get them. At least my friend actually had her priorities straight.

And buy your own tightey-whiteys, you dummy.

It's a wedding registry, not your Christmas list you dumb dumb. How did his mother never explain this to him? Sounds like your friend found a real winner.

[Miggy]

My cousin was married a few years ago. The invitation included a note that said something like;

We are invitating you to our wedding for the pleasure of your company, not in anticipation of receiving a gift. If you do feel inclined to give us a gift, please be aware that after many years of living independently, we have already set up our home. We would prefer any gifts to be Bunnings gift vouchers as we intend to do a lot of work to our garden in the next few years. Thank you.

I thought this was so classy and wished I would have thought of it before my marriage. I would love to have opened with "you don't have to bring a gift" followed by "vouchers for the following stores" as our preference. We then could have combined the vouchers to buy large items. (We had been living together for a while so had all the small stuff.) I know some people hate giving gift cards but in our case, those people wouldn't have bought off a gift registry either, proved by the number of floral and pink sheet sets we received. (Why would you think a lass who only ever wears black clothes and has a taste for black hair dye, white foundation and silver jewellery and who is marrying a Leonard Hofstadter type scientist would want pink and floral? I wondered whether they were thinking they could change me.)

[nastyhobbitses]

On one hand, I get that Jessa in particular might get a little gimme-gimme on the registry because she grew up with so few possessions that belonged just to her (buy used save the difference, hand-me-downs, sharing with her sisters), but on the other, a wedding is not a gift grab, and asking for so many ridiculous, superfluous things (a kayak and a MacBook Air? Really?!?) on your registry is the height of tackiness.

[Rescinded and Mended]

It's a wedding registry, not your Christmas list you dumb dumb. How did his mother never explain this to him? Sounds like your friend found a real winner.

Tell me about it! Yeah, he's always been a complete tool. His mom raised him to believe the sun shines out of his arse, and he only ever does anything "nice" for someone if there's going to be something in it for him. My friend got into the habit of simply overlooking his shenanigans early on rather than calling him out on them, and now, years later, it's gotten to where he's out of control. They don't compromise over their differences, she just lets him treat her like crap because she doesn't like conflict.

[Janes Heir]

These people claim to care so much about character,yet this is the clearest example of how shallow and greedy they are. There's nothing Christ-like about this. Remember, kids, he said to sell what you have and give to the poor.

Most other young adults have to learn the value of money starting with minimum wage jobs. We get new laptops when our old ones are about to explode.(And we need them for college, not posting badly constructed rants on Facebook and Instagram.)

This is the final straw for me. Having grown up fundie, I'm trained to think they must mean well when they quote the Bible, etc. Nope. This utter greed makes me sick. "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also".

[louisa05]

You can only chop ONE thing at a time... two if Bin helps; unlikely, so back to one.

I use one for raw meat/poultry only and the other for everything else. So two is not ridiculous.

Eleven, on the other hand, umm...what??? Where do you even store 11 cutting boards in a normal sized kitchen?

[louisa05]

How incredibly selfish can those idiots be? I am a FIRM believer in only asking for what you can't provide for yourself. If you're a young couple with nothing, ask only for what you need to get started. If you're an older couple with a couple homes you're merging, don't even expect a present from me when the point of a registry is to help you get started instead of funding your video game collection or upgrading your appliances that I can't afford to upgrade for myself. I practiced what I'm preaching, and when I got married, we clearly told everyone, and included this with the invitations, that we have what we need, so please, no presents, all we want is our loved ones and friends there, even though we also paid 100% of the wedding ourselves after saving up a couple years. Part of being an adult is being mature enough not to see your family and friends as an ATM where you put in a list, and get spat back out the luxuries you want.

I got this lecture from several people when I got married because I was over 30. Our registries were extremely modest, but people still felt the need to inform me that because of our ages I clearly did not need anything that was on it. I had taught in private religious schools for my entire career at that point making low salaries. I literally did not have a pan with a lid and neither did my husband. I had one beat up cake pan; he had no baking dishes whatsoever. We each had a bunch of mismatched silverware. He had a "super single" sized bed and I had a single bed, so we had no sheets and no comforter for the queen sized bed we bought for ourselves. So, yes, we registered for things that younger couples register for. But it was because we didn't have it. We did not register for stuff we had--we had three sets of dishes between us and they sort of match. So we registered for no dishes. We had two fairly new toasters, so we did not register for one. I had my grandmother's cookie sheets which are better than new ones, so none of those on the registries. We had cutting boards, none on the registries. But we did not have a blender, mixer, can opener, etc...between us.

Point: don't make assumptions. You don't know what people's circumstances have been or what they actually need.

[Paperplate]

Huh? Where did you see that? This is her registry, right?

http://www.walmart.com/giftregistry/gr_ ... 0541094089

There are quite a few things on there that haven't been bought.

I realise now that you were talking about Jill's BBB registry

(http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/g ... =137166982). I didn't know that she was registered there. I assumed because Derick works at Walmart they're only registered there ... and before/around Jill's wedding I was busy so I didn't follow everything too closely.

Anyway, I checked the registry and crunched the numbers:

Jill Duggar & Derick Dillard registered for around $8230 worth of stuff (this is only the BBB registry and only the stuff with prices listed online). Even though not everything was bought for them, people spent around $8300 there. They also registered for a boatload of stuff, including around a dozen frying pans. :cray-cray:

[Paperplate]

To put things in perspective: Joseph Maxwell and Elissa Frost asked for around $1200 worth of stuff on their BBB registry (and I'm not aware of them being registered anywhere else) – a mix of sensible things and high end stuff. They didn't get everything either. I guess their situation is different. They already had a house which presumably was furnished to some extent. But other than that they have the same "needs". They still didn't ask for bacon themed duct tape and a commercial juicer.

Also: Who did Bin & Jessa invite to their wedding? I'd image it'd be other fundie families with more kids than they can afford (so presumably not rolling in cash) and maybe, just maybe some friends who would be teens and young adults and therefore also not exactly loaded. Is there a really a leghumper out there who is going to buy them a $600 shelf?

And I just saw that they are actually registered for three mixers and three blenders. :cray-cray:

Glitch ate my last post. :( So here we go again:

To all of the people who say that because Jessa has never really owned anything before, they understand that she went "a little overboard" now. Compare Jessa's registry with Alyssa Bates'. Jessa and Alyssa presumably had a comparable upbringing. And we know the Bates aren't nearly as rich as the Duggars!

Now look at the numbers:

Alyssa Webster's main registry¹: asked for around $2,000 (got around $1,000)

Jessa Duggar's main registry²: asked for around $24,000

Also, again: Joseph Maxwell's main registry³: asked for around $1,200

Notice anything?

(Ok. Jessa will probably have more guests, but like I said before: She's not inviting dozens of millionaires, but her parent's poor Quiverfull friends.)

¹Target. Also registered at Dillard's. Not a lot of prices listed there, so I couldn't compare. But mostly cheaper stuff on there and not a lot was purchased.

²BBB. Plus three other registries with A LOT of big ticket items and A LOT of duplicates. Comes out to around 30,000.

³BBB. No other registries that I'm aware of.

[Paperplate]

The other thing about registries is that if you put too much, then people have too many options. If your goal is to complete a set of something, and there are too many options in general of what to buy, then you'll never complete any sets! Example: If you want a whole set of china, or bedding, or utinsels, what have you, you don't want people only buying a few of each set. You want the whole set to be completed by the time you get married. Obviously, it is nice to allow multiple people chip in to the set via the online registry. But you don't want to end up with just 4 forks and no knives, or just pillow cases and no duvet, but thank god you got that fancy cutting board or machete.

Yeah, they are going to be exchanging a lot of stuff. They might get the paddle and life vests, but not the kayak. :-P

And it's obviously really practical to have two blenders, but no glasses ...

[PennySycamore]

I have the pro model not one of the Artisans. I've had it about 8 years and no issues. If you have a Hobart repair in your area, they do commercial equipment, they can fix the pro ones for you. My husband worked with Hobart when he was looking for mine and that's what they told him. He could get me a baby Hobart cheaper by buying the Kitchen Aid even though they were the same thing.

I have a pro model too: the 5 quart K5A which they no longer make. When I got mine, Artisan mixers (the tilt-head one" were at most 4.5 quarts and the pro model with the bowl lift was 5 quarts. Now, the pro models start at 6 quarts and go up to 7. I understand that the 5 quart bowl lift model mixes more thoroughly than the 6 or 7 quart. I also understand that the old Kitchen-Aid mixers which were made by Hobart are far superior to the ones made by Kitchen-Aid now. They're still good machines, but maybe not quite the workhorses of the old Hobart machines. Mine is a Kitchen-Aid one and it's never given me any trouble in almost 20 years.

I'll have to keep in mind the Hobart repair thing if I ever do have trouble.

ETA: I just got an update of a new comment on a Houzz poll about stand mixers. One of the last comments is about a Dormeyer. My mom had one and it was great.

Darn, I forgot the link:http://www.houzz.com/discussions/973151

[CorruptionInc.]

On one hand, I get that Jessa in particular might get a little gimme-gimme on the registry because she grew up with so few possessions that belonged just to her (buy used save the difference, hand-me-downs, sharing with her sisters), but on the other, a wedding is not a gift grab, and asking for so many ridiculous, superfluous things (a kayak and a MacBook Air? Really?!?) on your registry is the height of tackiness.

The Duggars are so tacky so technically it suits her! Even though she is being a greedy person by asking for so much.

[Ethdyl]

All I can say is I'm glad I'm not the only crazy adding up Fundies registries!

[Paperplate]

All I can say is I'm glad I'm not the only crazy adding up Fundies registries!

:lol: Should we start a club?

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I'm just excited to practice my regexp skills. :)

[Cats B4 Quivers]

I'm a member of the KitchenAid stand mixer fan club for several years now and it is worth every penny. It kneads dough like a champ and my cakes no longer resemble stone bricks. It took over a decade of living-in-sin bliss to save up my pocket change to buy one (and some loyalty points and a sale). My partner happily carried the box home and recently bought as a surprise a food grinder attachment. Fresh ground beef! No more mystery meaty parts!

But wow! Those registries... is that some kind of audience participation performance art? Decorative duct tape? Scented candles in every single scent? Fake flowers? And my fav, Dr. Pepper licorice??? I did notice somebody kicked in 2 bucks for a drink jug. Which just makes me think BinJessa really ought to buy their own drink jug. And duct tape. And hammer. And machete. And dozen, differently scented candles. And cheap folding chairs. Weird list that should attract the attention of any FBI agent. Although I do like the owls "life is a hoot" potholder. I want one for me!

I've purchased wedding presents for friends and their registries look nothing like this Christmas Dreams Sears catalog. They did have KitchenAid, or food processor, and plates and flatware, cookware, a toaster, a blender, and linens. But I've never seen one with guns and ammo, multiple sewing machines, candy, or dressers. One was a combo wedding/baby shower but that's cuz their baby was due a week after the wedding. He came early, the day before the wedding! That was awesome!

Let's face it, the Duggars are one tacky bunch. This list is tacky and about right for this lot.

[SassyPants]

For the life of me, beyond Jana, what did the Duggar parents impart on any of the other 18 kids? They are not disciplined, educated, skilled, friendly, well mannered, worldly, neat, cleanly, good homemakers, hard workers, prompt or efficient- WTH was going on in that home??? SO MANY WASTED OPPORTUNITIES. SO MUCH TIME DOWN THE DRAIN.

It's embarrassing.

[Haligh the Liar]

I did buy mesh lingerie washing bags for a friend's wedding two years ago, I think I also got them a dish drainer. The key difference was that everything on their registry was practical, and the amounts were within the confines of good tastes- 8 place settings, two table cloths, two sets of sheets, four sets of towels, normal pots and pans etc. So that item in and of itself doesn't throw me off...but everything else does.

Greedy, tacky, and completely impractical. Good luck storing your avocado pitter, hard boiled egg slicer, strawberry huller, citrus zester, apple corer,and so forth. Or, you know, just register for ONE good paring knife.

[Ethdyl]

I can't possibly see how all that stuff is going to get bought with half a month to go. Even if she gets all the BB&B stuff there's still a truckload left on that. Jill got everything on that one and her Amazon one.

[CorruptionInc.]

I can't possibly see how all that stuff is going to get bought with half a month to go. Even if she gets all the BB&B stuff there's still a truckload left on that. Jill got everything on that one and her Amazon one.

This doesn't suprise me. I find Jill quite manipulative like her mother... somehow the leg humpers must of thought she needed it?

Also helps that she was the first girl to get married - novelty factor.

[FreeHannie!]

I think it's tacky and would never do it, but I've also grown up being able to have things just because I want them. Not everything I want, maybe not even half of it, but I've gotten things just because I want them. It's healthy to have some things in life just because, like hockey tickets for your birthday or an iPad mini for Christmas. I get to walk into a store alone, try on some things and buy what I want to wear.

Jessa or Jill have never had that. As much as I find it tacky, I've never had to grow up in a family where my parents have never cared about me as an individual, where I've never got to have something because I want it. I can see why the temptation is there for the girls to do it. STUFF. STUFF ALL THEIR OWN. STUFF THAT THEY DON'T HAVE TO SHARE WITH THEIR 6 YEAR OLD SISTER.

[Paperplate]

I think it's tacky and would never do it, but I've also grown up being able to have things just because I want them. Not everything I want, maybe not even half of it, but I've gotten things just because I want them. It's healthy to have some things in life just because, like hockey tickets for your birthday or an iPad mini for Christmas. I get to walk into a store alone, try on some things and buy what I want to wear.

Jessa or Jill have never had that. As much as I find it tacky, I've never had to grow up in a family where my parents have never cared about me as an individual, where I've never got to have something because I want it. I can see why the temptation is there for the girls to do it. STUFF. STUFF ALL THEIR OWN. STUFF THAT THEY DON'T HAVE TO SHARE WITH THEIR 6 YEAR OLD SISTER.

I'll just quote myself from upthread:

To all of the people who say that because Jessa has never really owned anything before, they understand that she went "a little overboard" now. Compare Jessa's registry with Alyssa Bates'. Jessa and Alyssa presumably had a comparable upbringing. And we know the Bates aren't nearly as rich as the Duggars!

Now look at the numbers:

Alyssa Webster's main registry: asked for around $2,000 (got around $1,000)

Jessa Duggar's main registry: asked for around $24,000

Also, again: Joseph Maxwell's main registry: asked for around $1,200

Notice anything?

Other people have apparently managed to resist the temptation.

Jessa also actually has some things that are just her own: her clothes* and probably a computer too. The girls also each have a nightstand with personal belongings.

Yes, she's never had her own grain mill, but I wouldn't have thought she was itching to get one, since she can't actually cook.

And Jill, who was in exactly the same position, had a MUCH smaller (~$8300, still a lot) registry.

And anyway: A parent should have stepped in and stopped this. Or their Christian upbringing should have taught them not to be so greedy. With all that "character first" stuff you'd think all of the Duggars would be wonderful people!

*Yes, they supposedly share, but they each have their own style (and size) and we know they don't do the family closet for the older girls anymore.