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Adeye upset at clinic practicing sound medicine


mystikchick17

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I'm not 100% sure. I have some ideas but not a whole system in place.

I'd do away with the grade system first off, it's very dated. Put into place at around 1900 or so (a fact I seriously wanted to call up and tell the producer of the Laura Ingalls wilder tv show.) I think children learn at their own pace, and it just makes them feel bad if someone is a bit behind. As long as a kid DOES learn to read I don't think it matters if it happens at age 8 instead of age 6/7.

Second, I'd have things be more self paced, with the teacher there more for answering questions than lecturing, though at lower levels some of that might be more necessary. Like elementary students might need a group talk on how to divide, and then most class time would be at your own lace.

I'd also have students sorted out into groups based on how they learn: is the student more visual or oral? Do they learn best by reading or being shown movies?

I've also read some books that suggest children should start a bit later rather than earlier, because when they're older they're a bit more ready for it, and could potentially learn more things faster. I'm it sure that's true but is like to explore it.

I also am against homework. If you can't teach it to me in class, why should you take up my time outside of class? As an adult, I don't take my work home with me at the end of the day (unless I plan to eat it, haha.) I think it's an unnecessary burden on children and also outdated.

After that my ideas sorta peter out. I just really think he way we do education in America needs to change.

But as you can see, my ideas are very unpopular.

If you haven't already, you should check out some of the TED Talks about Khan Academy. Some teachers are starting to do what they call classroom flip where the lectures are the homework (and being able to pause and rewind a video makes a huge difference) and they do what would normally be homework problems together in class. It seems to be working really well in some places. Of course, the problem of being sure kids have video access exists but the idea itself seems more solid.

Your ideas also sound a bit like college, do you think? We have years but nothing stops a freshman from taking like LIT 400 (here, anyway) and nothing prevents a senior from taking PHYS 106, etc.

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I thought I was the only anti homework person out there. (Besides the kids, obviously) I think home time should be family time. Kids should be playing after school, getting fresh air and exercise. They should be doing chores, helping with dinner, spending time with parents and siblings, and going to bed at a reasonable hour. Homework is also more of a burden for kids with parents that can't or won't help with it, working parents, and parents with several children. I think the only work that should be done at home is unfinished class work, perhaps as a consequence for not staying on task in class.

My older two are now in school. The younger one is in 7th grade, in public school for the first time. She takes all honors classes, but her best learning by far is when she spends a period as an aid in the special needs classroom. This was her idea when she tested out of every math class the school offered. My kid is smart. She reads and writes at college level. Math is at 11th grade level. She's teaching herself trigonometry and Japanese. There isn't a lot the school can teach her at this point. I tell her she has a big brain, the rest is up to her. My daughter is learning patience and compassion from her buddy. She's working outside the box. She's learning not to take her intelligence for granted. Her buddy is getting one on one attention and tutoring. She's getting a sweet friend who brings her to sit with her at the "popular table" and invites her to her birthday party. My daughter's nuerotypical friends are learning that special needs kids aren't scary or weird, and that different is ok. For some of her friends, this is their first close up encounter with a special needs person. Friendships are made, barriers broken. It's awesome.

I'd love to see more combining gifted kids and special needs kids. The schools would save money by having a couple of the better students each period assisting in the classroom. The gifted kids have heard all their lives how smart they are. Sharing their gifts with others would do them so much good. The "special" kids benefit from being treated like other kids and being included in the social groups with the "normal" kids.

All that aside, I believe everyone is entitled to the best life possible, but Adeye is batshit crazy. Deliberately bringing possibly severely disabled kids into the world is insane. Give the best life you can to the severely disabled kids you already have. Donate time or money to disabled people who already exist. That is pro life. This stunt has nothing to do with pro life, and everything to do with being a martyr and attention whore.

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I'm not 100% sure. I have some ideas but not a whole system in place.

I'd do away with the grade system first off, it's very dated. Put into place at around 1900 or so (a fact I seriously wanted to call up and tell the producer of the Laura Ingalls wilder tv show.) I think children learn at their own pace, and it just makes them feel bad if someone is a bit behind. As long as a kid DOES learn to read I don't think it matters if it happens at age 8 instead of age 6/7.

Second, I'd have things be more self paced, with the teacher there more for answering questions than lecturing, though at lower levels some of that might be more necessary. Like elementary students might need a group talk on how to divide, and then most class time would be at your own lace.

I'd also have students sorted out into groups based on how they learn: is the student more visual or oral? Do they learn best by reading or being shown movies?

I've also read some books that suggest children should start a bit later rather than earlier, because when they're older they're a bit more ready for it, and could potentially learn more things faster. I'm it sure that's true but is like to explore it.

I also am against homework. If you can't teach it to me in class, why should you take up my time outside of class? As an adult, I don't take my work home with me at the end of the day (unless I plan to eat it, haha.) I think it's an unnecessary burden on children and also outdated.

After that my ideas sorta peter out. I just really think he way we do education in America needs to change.

But as you can see, my ideas are very unpopular.

I too hate homework. I didn't have any until high school, which strikes me as reasonable. It should be outlawed until 9th grade :-)

I agree that the educational needs of the very bright (98-99th percentile) and the "genius-level" kids (ie the ones that are 5+ standard deviations from the mean) are totally different. I've no idea what the best way to educate the latter would be, but there are so very, very few kids in this category that there isn't a need for a "system" for them. These are the Erik Tremaines, Gustavo Dudamels, Joshua Bells, Terry Tao's and Jay Greenbergs. (Juilliard somehow found and admitted Greenberg as a little kid. How to educate a 7 yo who has orchestrated 15 symphonies is a "problem" that happens only once every several hundred years).

The very-bright-but-not-genius kids (whom I'll call "gifted") are another story and my biases are many: I hated the gifted program I attended; the tests to identify giftedness in very young kids are unreliable, and; on principle, dislike telling this particular group of kids they're soooo very smart/special by putting them in a special class.

(I standardized test anomalously well, as do my kids. It's a party trick and a meaningless one at that. The system for identifying giftedness is unfair in my favor. Great for my kids, not so great for the truly super-bright kid who happens to standardized test badly).

The point of teaching kids Shakespeare and linear algebra isn't mastery of those subjects -- the vast majority of adults use neither at work -- but to learn to understand and apply someone else's logic.

I do not AT ALL like the idea of self-directed work for little, gifted kids. Most of what these kids need to learn isn't even academic and requires a classroom of peers & different teachers for different subjects. Gifted kids need to learn that:

- doing your best is NOT enough if you haven't done what's required

- there's often (not always, often) a correlation between effort and achievement

- occasional boredom is rarely fatal

- what you can vs can't get away with while navigating a large bureaucracy.

- there will pretty much always be someone faster, smarter, anything-er than you. Nearly 7 billion others on this planet all but guarantees it. Your options are limited to freaking out about or making peace with the inevitable. The latter tends to work better.

++++++

Yes, this is a strange -- and coping-skills heavy -- list. The fallout from no-or-inappropriate-coping skills is scary.

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I'm really creeped out that the embryo adoption people refer to the morulas as "Snowflakes babies." Ugh. It's medically inaccurate, emotionally loaded crap for a process that has low success rates even today. It's creepy to have branded babies. And it's confusing because I'm pretty sure you can't overnight ship babies or snowflakes. I have to say I can't take my eyes off this trainwreck though.

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The Salems are moving to South Africa in May to be missionaries. At which time Adeye will potentially be several months pregnant with twins quadruplets (? idek anymore)!

The gist of the post is: no country will let us adopt any more, but we never got our little black baby so we're going to go "start a place of safety specifically for children who are abandoned because of their special needs" aka keep collecting.

nogreaterjoymom.com/2015/01/life-changing-news-from-the-salems/

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The Salems are moving to South Africa in May to be missionaries. At which time Adeye will potentially be several months pregnant with twins quadruplets (? idek anymore)!

The gist of the post is: no country will let us adopt any more, but we never got our little black baby so we're going to go "start a place of safety specifically for children who are abandoned because of their special needs" aka keep collecting.

nogreaterjoymom.com/2015/01/life-changing-news-from-the-salems/

Okay, I am not a doctor. How is it medically possible that a 14-year-old weighs 14 lbs (Haysa, according to the blog)? I'm trying to wrap my brain around that. And I am asking that with utmost sympathy and genuine curiosity.

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Okay, I am not a doctor. How is it medically possible that a 14-year-old weighs 14 lbs (Haysa, according to the blog)? I'm trying to wrap my brain around that. And I am asking that with utmost sympathy and genuine curiosity.

Malnutrition and lack of social/emotional contact. It's been observed over and over again that babies that don't get to "connect" with people fail to thrive and sometimes die. If they survive, they're often severely disabled. As cheesy as it sounds, love is essential for survival and development.

Here's an article on it: http://www.livescience.com/21778-early- ... rains.html

If you still have questions, I'll answer them tomorrow. I'm studying psychology and child development and we've discussed this sort of stuff in my classes a lot. I'm just really tired now and I don't feel like I can explain stuff very well.

As for what someone else was saying about school, I think the kids that are the best students are the ones that try the hardest.

I work at a middle school, and one student comes to mind. She has learning disabilities, and possibly an mild intellectual disability as well. However, she works super hard. She stays on task for most of the class period, contributes positively and asks lots of questions. I love working with her because she's so eager to learn.

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>>Sorry if this sounds harsh- it's just that my former school system cut gifted ed altogether recently, which was vital for me as a kid, while adding several more rooms, teachers, and resources for special ed. It's unfair to give nothing, or the least, to those who could do so much with their intelligence. I really hope this doesn't start a flame war against me, but it's what I think.<<

Hey, why don't we just go back to throwing all the useless special needs kids into institutions so the precious smart kids can excel. After all, they can do so much more with their intelligence, right? Who cares if my son (and other special needs kids) don't get services they desperately need. They don't have the same importance as those with high IQ's.

My sons services are vital for him and don't think for one minute services to special needs kids aren't cut. Because they are.

Yes, I am angry about what you wrote because my son (and I) did NOT choose for him to be born autistic. People with your attitude have made my life a living hell. Having to fight for services for him. All because others can do so much more with their "intelligence"

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Vital? Gifted ed is nice, but not generally vital. And I, too, was in a full time gifted program as a K-12 student, so I know it can be beneficial, but hardly "vital" to success for most kids.

On the other hand, for kids who need extra help to reach grade level and gain skills they need to get a job and a home and food and be a functional adult, those special classrooms may actually be vital.

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Why would anyone plan on moving to the other side of the world when they are going to have multiple embryos implanted into their uterus and will be pregnant at the time??????? Cant they wait until their baby(ies?) are born???

I think its a bad idea, leave the missionary work to the young people with no kids, or people with older kids. I don't like to see people move to different countries to do missionary work, dragging all of their young kids with them. Adeye has a full time job just looking after all of their kids, most of them have disabilities, and now she wants multiples and to move to South Africa. She cant have both. I think she just wants to be special.

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I am so confused. So now they are opening a special needs orphanage in Africa AND implanting the four adopted embryos in February? Uh. Wow.

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Malnutrition and lack of social/emotional contact. It's been observed over and over again that babies that don't get to "connect" with people fail to thrive and sometimes die. If they survive, they're often severely disabled. As cheesy as it sounds, love is essential for survival and development.

Here's an article on it: http://www.livescience.com/21778-early- ... rains.html

If you still have questions, I'll answer them tomorrow. I'm studying psychology and child development and we've discussed this sort of stuff in my classes a lot. I'm just really tired now and I don't feel like I can explain stuff very well.

As for what someone else was saying about school, I think the kids that are the best students are the ones that try the hardest.

I work at a middle school, and one student comes to mind. She has learning disabilities, and possibly an mild intellectual disability as well. However, she works super hard. She stays on task for most of the class period, contributes positively and asks lots of questions. I love working with her because she's so eager to learn.

I had wondered as well, but she wasn't the only child to still be the size of an infant at that particular orphanage.

If there is extreme malnutrition, children's growth can be stunted. The few calories that they get are all devoted to keeping them alive, and the body shuts down production of human growth hormone. I've seen less extreme forms of this with people who were children or teens during WWII - it's not uncommon to see that they were quite short, while their children would tower over them.

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I feel sorry for Adeye's older kids. She can go on and on about what great hearts for the Lord they have but don't tell me those older boys really want to be uprooted, move to South Africa and spend most of their waking hours babysitting their special needs siblings in addition to dealing with a new country, new schools, new food and spending even less time with Mom and Dad who are busy playing missionary.

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Isn't she from South Africa? Maybe there will be some family support for her kids.

I wonder if they really can't find anyone to implant the embryos, or if they're assuming none of them will take, and so opening an orphanage is the next "logical" step in their baby-collecting quest.

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I wonder if they really can't find anyone to implant the embryos, or if they're assuming none of them will take, and so opening an orphanage is the next "logical" step in their baby-collecting quest.

that's what i'm thinking, too. preparing for the inevitable. just let the "snowflake adoption" thing quietly die.

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So she has 5 or 6 special needs children, two of whom are very medically fragile, and she is ready to implant four more. And we're going to move halfway around the world because....Jesus?

She might well kill at least Hasya, and maybe Harper as well. Unless they are close to a hospital, those little girls will die the next time they have a medical crisis.

What really makes me sad (yes, I can't stop hate reading her blog) is that two of her more handicapped children (Haven and Haille) have recently made huge strides. Haven is in school and progressing for the first time, and Haille seems to have cut way down on her self-mutilating. Why do something that could ruin that progress?

ETA: I suppose I should refer to Hasya as a young lady, as befits her age, instead of the little girl she appears to be.

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So they are taking multiple special needs children To a country with no help for children with special needs. No speech, no o.t., no physical therapy. No doctors who specialize in down syndrome heart conditions. No feeding clinics for kids who struggle with eating. The list goes on.

Makes perfect sense. Ugh.

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So they are taking multiple special needs children To a country with no help for children with special needs. No speech, no o.t., no physical therapy. No doctors who specialize in down syndrome heart conditions. No feeding clinics for kids who struggle with eating. The list goes on.

Makes perfect sense. Ugh.

i'm trying to find or figure out where they'll be, but i can't find anything. "south africa" is a varying country, it's not all bush, and they very well may be able to be stationed near appropriate medical facilities. until we know where they're going, other than just the country itself, we can't say for sure if they'll be out in the bush.

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i'm trying to find or figure out where they'll be, but i can't find anything. "south africa" is a varying country, it's not all bush, and they very well may be able to be stationed near appropriate medical facilities. until we know where they're going, other than just the country itself, we can't say for sure if they'll be out in the bush.

I know it's not all third world... as a parent of a child with special needs, who uses those services, I can't imagine leaving them. It would absolutely not be in her favor to do so.

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I know it's not all third world... as a parent of a child with special needs, who uses those services, I can't imagine leaving them. It would absolutely not be in her favor to do so.

oh i agree that a move right now is far from the children's best interest. was just pointing out that since we don't know where exactly they'll be, we don't know what kind of medical and social services they may be able to utilize. i really hope they'll be close enough to a major city that they can get all the services they currently get and that the adjustment will be as smooth as it could possibly go. that or the offer gets rescinded or they decide to not do it. ugh. :disgust:

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I agree, Bcs!

I'm pro choice and wouldn't force abortions, but I think considering that an (esp. mentally) disabled child costs schools and taxpayers millions, the likelihood of having one should be minimized thru improved testing and wider use of PGD. I do not begrudge persons with disabilities their care, and I think that they deserve the best life they can have, once alive. But, it seems that would-be parents do not consider this cost when deciding what to do about a fetus with a detected disability, and they should. Of course, developmental disabilities, accidents, or undetectable in utero problems are different- you already have a person, so you make the best of the situation. The calculus, for me, is whether the person will be engaged in a quality life and be able to contribute to society (whether thru family, work, helping others, etc.) if not, I would abort or not implant.

Sorry if this sounds harsh- it's just that my former school system cut gifted ed altogether recently, which was vital for me as a kid, while adding several more rooms, teachers, and resources for special ed. It's unfair to give nothing, or the least, to those who could do so much with their intelligence. I really hope this doesn't start a flame war against me, but it's what I think.

The whole " think of the taxpayers!!!!" meme drives me nuts. You know what the U.S. spends on all things related to special education? About 50 billion dollars. You know what the U.S. spends annually on the racist, classist and dismally ineffective " War on Drugs" About 50 billion dollars.

Get rid of that huge money suck, problem solved.

In my personal opinion, you could cut costs across the board, and have much better results for the vast majority of children ranging from moderate special needs through very gifted if schools combined more individualized, multi-modality, less age-restrictred learning environments - with access to specific interventions and supports as needed. Those resources might be speech therapy, or it could be transportation to a high school AP class for a 10 year old who needs it.

With the technology we have now, there's no reason kids of the same age all need to be working on the same lesson. You could have an hour devoted to math -- with a room full of students working on everything from unit blocks, to developing food budgets to multiplication to algebra to learning to count change. Instead of having the special pull- out programs for gifted or learning disabilities -- spend that money on adding teachers and aids to classrooms to help individualize, tutor, evaluate and monitor progress.

You would still have some kids with severe disabilities who would need more one-to-one care, but so what? Why would someone resent that?

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The calculus, for me, is whether the person will be engaged in a quality life and be able to contribute to society (whether thru family, work, helping others, etc.) if not, I would abort or not implant.

Sorry if this sounds harsh- it's just that my former school system cut gifted ed altogether recently, which was vital for me as a kid, while adding several more rooms, teachers, and resources for special ed. It's unfair to give nothing, or the least, to those who could do so much with their intelligence. I really hope this doesn't start a flame war against me, but it's what I think.

You are making the incorrect assumption that most special ed students are not capable of contributing to society. Which if you'll pardon my language, is bullshit.

Two of my 5 kids receive special ed services. One of them is currently in a self contained special ed class, and the other spent 4 years in one before being transitioned to resource. Both have average IQs and language processing disorders and sensory issues. Most of the kids in their special ed classes are in similar situations... Those classes are not supposed to be warehouses for the ones the schools can't help, but smaller, more supportive environments for the kids that need a slower pace, or a little extra help, with out holding the rest of a mainstream class back. At least in the K-8 district here, the goal is to be able to get the kids to the point where they just need resource by the time they're in high school.

And what is to say that a gifted student can't also be a special ed student? I know quite a few people with genius level IQ's with ADHD, or Aspergers, or other issues that would get them an IEP in today's schools.

A good mainstream classroom teacher can differentiate the work for a gifted student with minimal disruption for the rest of the students. The same can not be said for a student who is behind.

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We could also refocus our attention on education to actually be on education. Get rid of the lobbyists, the 300K salaries at the top. Give those salaries to teachers. Hire the people that the students need. Drop the centralized curriculum, but keep some sort of standards. Bring back vocational ed! Not everyone is going to be a doctor or a lawyer. We still need skilled labor, despite all of the propaganda claiming that robots can do everything.

We could bring back PE and recess, because the link between physical activity and mental health is well known.

I just don't think it needs to be an either or situation. We shouldn't be choosing between special ed and gifted ed.

There's also no reason why a school in one zip code has a beautiful building with all sorts of amenities, while a few streets over (where the teachers live), the school is barely up to code, doesn't have the same level of athletic equipment or even a playground, much less computers for every student or even enough staff.

And don't get me started on the school lunches. Having breakfast and lunch for kids is great, but OMG the food they serve is disgusting. It's junk food. Tater tots and soggy chicken nuggets in tiny packaging? Corn dogs and tater tots? A slice of over process turkey and soggy green beans? Fish sticks and french fries. Waffles and pancakes and syrup and french toast and frosted flakes? High school has the option of subway (okay, WTF, get the fucking corporation fast foods OUT of the school), pizza, or cheeseburger. Or whatever the weekly special is, which usually is something horrifying like overcooked vegetables and chicken sandwiches. Then the powers that be say that students are choosing the unhealthy options, and we'd rather they ate something, right? At least the shitty food is district wide, so it's not like the nice schools are getting individually made meals while my title 1 school gets stuck with week old mystery meat.

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The Salems are moving to South Africa in May to be missionaries. At which time Adeye will potentially be several months pregnant with twins quadruplets (? idek anymore)!

Hah. I KNEW someone had to be talking about this, and you deliver! Having your own pseudo-orphanage of adopted kids isn't enough, so... let's just go for broke and open an actual orphanage, I guess.

But yeah. End of May. Assuming she implanted the embryos (wasn't that supposed to happen Dec 12 or so?) she'd be well into pregnancy.

Or has that not worked out for some reason? Or was the implantation February as Idolatry has?

I have some more mundane questions though - I know that Adeye is originally from S. Africa but then naturalized to the US in order to qualify to adopt one or more of the kids (husband was too old). So does she not have SA citizenship anymore? Meanwhile, what citizenship is her husband? Was he American originally? I think he was, which is why they could move ("back" for him) to the US to start with. And of course all the adopted kids are US citizens since they were adopted to the US by a US citizen dad. Bio kids maybe are SA citizens too from Mom, dunno. Actually maybe the adoptees who were adopted while Adeye was still only SA citizen also became SA citizens through her?

But point being, what kinda visa will they get? Or maybe Adeye can still claim SA citizenship too? (One country can't force you to give up another country's citizenship, but countries can drop you from their own rolls if you go naturalize somewhere else, so I guess it depends on what SA did.)

I'm just randomly curious... I guess the kids will continue to all be homeschooled?

Why would anyone plan on moving to the other side of the world when they are going to have multiple embryos implanted into their uterus and will be pregnant at the time??????? Cant they wait until their baby(ies?) are born???

Because GOD!!11!1!!1!

...though I find it interesting that in all of her posts she always talks about asking God again and again and again and he keeps saying "No" until finally he says "yes." That sounds like desires coming from the HUMAN half of things and God is just GIVING IN, but hey, I'm just a heathen.

I feel sorry for Adeye's older kids. She can go on and on about what great hearts for the Lord they have but don't tell me those older boys really want to be uprooted, move to South Africa and spend most of their waking hours babysitting their special needs siblings in addition to dealing with a new country, new schools, new food and spending even less time with Mom and Dad who are busy playing missionary.

The oldest boys (the biokids) are originally FROM South Africa so it might not be too horribly bad for them since they do have fond memories and relatives there, but the whole "uprooting" thing as got to suck, and the "being unpaid workers in a giant missionary orphanage" has GOT to suck, and yeah, what about their plans for higher education and careers and whatever? Plus their one other kid who is on track for normal career (oldest daughter) was born in China and lived the rest of her life in the US, so that's definitely an extra big move for her. Heck, what visa is SHE going to have?

I suppose the older kids might be thinking to do this for a few years and then move back to the US for university, but... yeah this whole thing is just SO damn out of left field.

Also tell me how the for the younger kids this isn't basically going right back into an orphanage, albeit possibly a kinder one?

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