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Ella

Why do they try not to cry?

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Ella

Joy-Anna didn't end up reading her letter to Jill in the bridal shop because she said she would cry. Well, what would be wrong with that? I also noticed that the Duggars and the Batseses tell each other, "Don't cry," usually when someone is about to.

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Ivycoveredtower
Joy-Anna didn't end up reading her letter to Jill in the bridal shop because she said she would cry. Well, what would be wrong with that? I also noticed that the Duggars and the Batseses tell each other, "Don't cry," usually when someone is about to.

I think Joy just meant she wouldn't be understood through the tears. It can be hard to understand people who are crying.

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HuggleMonster

Joy is pretty much losing her mother. So I imagine she knew she wouldn't be able to get through it. She looked heart broken when she was saying how close her and Jill were and that she slept in her bed for years.

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CorruptionInc.
Joy is pretty much losing her mother. So I imagine she knew she wouldn't be able to get through it. She looked heart broken when she was saying how close her and Jill were and that she slept in her bed for years.

Poor Joy not having her own bed. :(

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Ivycoveredtower

Poor Joy not having her own bed. :(

I still want to know what happened to Joy's sleigh bed. All the older girls got them when they moved into the TTH but now Joy is sleeping on the top bunk of that bunkbed with the slide.

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ILoveJellybeans

Because they were raised by parents who follow the Pearls. They know that crying means pain from the beatings they will get until they smile and keep sweet.

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It'sFunToRun
Because they were raised by parents who follow the Pearls. They know that crying means pain from the beatings they will get until they smile and keep sweet.

I don't think that Pearl training forbids crying in all circumstances, though it does forbid crying "excessively" when being disciplined. It was okay for JimBob to cry at Jill's wedding, and it was okay for the kids to cry when they saw how fragile preemie Josie was and after hearing of Jubilee's death.

I think in this case "don't cry" doesn't have a sinister intent, and is something that a regular family would also say to each other.

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BrownieMomma

For Joy, I am sure it was a genuinely emotional moment and she probably didn't want to share that on TV.

Jill made some comment about changing Joy's diapers. Clearly Jill is the true mother figure in Joy's life.

I am starting to really hate these reality TV shows.

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JenniferJuniper
Joy-Anna didn't end up reading her letter to Jill in the bridal shop because she said she would cry. Well, what would be wrong with that? I also noticed that the Duggars and the Batseses tell each other, "Don't cry," usually when someone is about to.

I don't follow the Bates family, but in Joy's case she knew she was being filmed for the TV show and she probably didn't want to break down totally.

I don't doubt Joy is upset that her primary parent is moving on, but requiring her to write a goodbye letter and then filming her reading is simply a cruel thing to do to a kid. Totally embarrassing, fundie or not.

I like Joy and my heart didn't break for her because Jill is moving down the road. It's because I feel sorry for any kid - especially a teen - who is forced to live a chunk of his or her life on camera. Joy's parents suck on so many levels.

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Trynn

Maybe Joy Anna just doesn't want to break down in front of a tv camera? It doesn't have to mean they'll be punished for it. We have seen the older girls cry on the show before.

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Rachel333

I don't think crying is a problem for fundies, I think she probably just didn't want to cry on camera. I wouldn't either, and I'm no longer Joy's age and an easily embarrassed teenager.

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FreeHannie!

Joy's letter was basically a farewell to her 'real' mother. I wouldn't want to read that on camera knowing I'd cry either.

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HarleyQuinn

She didn't want to read it aloud because it said "PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE ME WITH YOU!!"

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jingerdoe

I'm definitely in the "she was just embarrassed" camp - not a keeping sweet thing. We've seen enough of them cry - hell, we've seen Jim Bob cry - so I don't think it's associated with punishment.

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eh02

If it was a very personal and emotional letter, who can blame her for not wanting to read it on TV? I wouldn't want to be crying my eyes out on TV just so my parents could rake in the dough from the ratings.

I feel bad for Joy. She's the only girl in that awkward age window...the oldest, who seem to be her only sense of sanity, are all likely going to be out of the house in the next few years. She is going to be stuck there alone with a bunch of completely inept teenage boys who as far as we can tell sit around doing absolutely nothing until JB has some random "manly" task that the girls are apparently not suited for. On the flip side, I think it's made her rebellious in her own way and that will probably do her good. She's definitely got the sass and sarcasm going on and it seems much more directed at her parents than we ever saw from Jana, Jill etc. at Joy's age.

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TheChibi

I don't blame Joy at all. I HATE when people see me cry, and I know many other people who are the same way.

The room contained not just the cameras and film crew, but also a few ladies (who run the store I assume) who she doesn't know and aren't family. She likely didn't want them to see her cry.

I can't think of an episode where a Duggar told someone else to not cry so I can't really comment on it except, perhaps they are uncomfortable around crying people? I for one can not comfort people. I am terrible at it, but I wouldn't tell them not to cry...

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Toothfairy

Joy is grieving the loss of her sister mom. The one who raised, feed, bathe, clothe,slept, comfort her for 16 years.

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ButterscotchEquinox

If I were in her shoes, and had written a personal letter to my mother-figure sister, I would have used that as an excuse to keep some part of my emotional life private from the cameras.

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CorruptionInc.
If I were in her shoes, and had written a personal letter to my mother-figure sister, I would have used that as an excuse to keep some part of my emotional life private from the cameras.

Unfortunately I think the only thing private in the Duggar house is anything to do with human sexuality - apart from the sex between Mullet and JB as they're always talking about it!

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ButterscotchEquinox

Unfortunately I think the only thing private in the Duggar house is anything to do with human sexuality - apart from the sex between Mullet and JB as they're always talking about it!

Ew, and dry humping at mini golf on camera! :pink-shock:

Exactly my point, though! If my whole life were being filmed, I would try any excuse to keep something private. Even if I had cried before or crying were acceptable- it would be an easy out to keep the letter from being filmed.

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shedemei

Joy's reason aside, fundies don't permit crying because it is a sign of defiance. The Pearls advocate beating that defiance out of a child beginning in infancy.

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