Feminism is to blame for stress in our middle years - Lori

[Hane]

Hmmm. Let me think back to my middle years--

40-46: Married to a guy who kept getting laid off/fired. Feminism kept me working a fulltime and a parttime job so the mortgage got paid and I could save money for my child's education. (During this time frame, I consistently cooked and baked from scratch and sewed for myself and family members.) I'd have been under a lot MORE stress had I decided to say "Fuck it" and let him handle the whole financial burden himself.

47-61 (present): Feminism gave me the ovaries to bail from a bad marriage and the wherewithal to support myself, put my child through college, travel, and pay for her wedding. I have a great deal of discretionary time, and, compared with my daughter and my youngest sister (who are married, employed, and mothers of schoolkids, as well as active in community/church/extracurricular events), my life is a freaking vacation.

Oh, and the elderly parents thing? Done that. My middle sister and her family lived with my parents as my mom was in home hospice care, and the rest of us lived close by and helped out. Mom died peacefully at home. Dad lived the last ten years of his life with my sister and her family. When I had no alternative but to place him in a nursing home for the last several months of his life--because he needed medical care that we could not provide--it was local and we were able to visit him every day. He died peacefully in the hospital with the family around him. While all this was going on, I often took care my grandson, niece, and nephews, and helped my sisters out.

I guess I've been Doin It Rong. I should have been sitting around the house with a nanny and a housecleaner and whining because somebody brought me soup that didn't have freaking potatoes in it.