What's the deal with Duggars adopting?

[BrownieMomma]

Saw this mentioned again in relation to Ben and Jessa.

 

I just don't get why this keeps coming up. Do people feel that the Duggars, any of them, should be adopting?

 

I've never been around people who want to adopt for the sake of adopting, who are talking about adopting before they even get married. The only people I've known IRL who adopted did so because they could not have children naturally. This is only a handful of people. Less than 10 for sure.

 

Most people, IME, want to have their own kids and expect it. Is this some kind of super-Christian thing? Like, I'm a better Christian than you because I'm going to adopt some kids!

 

Why are Ben and Jessa even talking about adopting?

[Toothfairy]

It's all talk to make them look good. None of them will adopt. If the child isn't biologically yours then it doesn't count as calling them your own. And the process to adopt is a long one spending on the agency. We all know they're not going to adopt an older child

[doggie]

It's all talk to make them look good. None of them will adopt. If the child isn't biologically yours then it doesn't count as calling them your own. And the process to adopt is a long one spending on the agency. We all know they're not going to adopt an older child

Yep they are wanting to use that bandwagon to look even more christian.

[Mel314]

Saw this mentioned again in relation to Ben and Jessa.

I just don't get why this keeps coming up. Do people feel that the Duggars, any of them, should be adopting?

I've never been around people who want to adopt for the sake of adopting, who are talking about adopting before they even get married. The only people I've known IRL who adopted did so because they could not have children naturally. This is only a handful of people. Less than 10 for sure.

Most people, IME, want to have their own kids and expect it. Is this some kind of super-Christian thing? Like, I'm a better Christian than you because I'm going to adopt some kids!

Why are Ben and Jessa even talking about adopting?

I think there's an expectation with some families that have the means to raise children to be open to adoption simply because: they have the resources, are well-off, and lastly because they preach so much about how every child in the world is a blessing.

In a simplified way, adoption from this viewpoint could be thought of as "saving" or "rescuing" children who need and deserve a good, normal home. Which is all of course true, children without families do deserve a happy normal home.

The thing with the duggars is Jim Bob and michelle always ACT like they're going to adopt an underprivileged child, but they haven't, they just keep birthing their own, which is also what Jill and Jessa are acting like.

In a way it seems like they secretly think "underprivileged" children are somehow "tainted" and therefore not good enough for their blue-eyed, white, perfect family.

[BrownieMomma]

This adoption talk is as annoying as Michelle's voice. A lot of what the Duggars do slightly irritates me, but a few things they do really make me want to punch them.

[browncoatslytherin]

boob and j'chelle have brought up the possibility of adopting before, but as far as i can remember, it's only been lip service and nothing has actually been put in motion.

i haven't been following them as closely lately, so i'm not sure why ben and jessa would want to, unless jessa is concerned about her fertility and still wants to have kids pretty soon.

[karen77]

I think it is just lip service to refute the people that keep saying, why have so many kids, why don't you adopt a child that NEEDS a home instead of breeding more of your own.. Not that they have any intention of actually following through on that.

[EmmieJ]

I think the adoption talk is strange, coming as it does before they are even married. I also think they would be rather poor prospects, considering that Jessa won't be working at all, and her future husband's career plans are being an itinerant preacher. Or if that fails, he and Jessa can move back into the storage shed and he can work for his FIL. Either way, not very impressive.

I guess it's just talk, because they think it sounds good.

[pega127]

It seems to be a form of trendy talk for them; afterall we learned way back that Bill Gotthard does not advise adopting. Something to do with "sins of the father" being brought into your home/family. Never good, according to Bill.

[grandmadugger]

It seems to be a form of trendy talk for them; afterall we learned way back that Bill Gotthard does not advise adopting. Something to do with "sins of the father" being brought into your home/family. Never good, according to Bill.

Add this to the list of things I've learned here. I know a couple who adopted some kids. Two of the kids had their first names changed as well because "their dad was a bad man" Now I know why.

[micatite]

I doubt it will happen. Gothard doesn't approve of adoption. Something about the kids carrying the sins of their (biological) fathers (and mothers). So there goes any out-of-wedlock birthed child. They've never been touched, but they're probably considered impure. :roll:

[gezykah]

While I'm not holding my breath waiting for the lord to lay it on their hearts to adopt I've known plenty of people including in my own family who did not have fertility problems and choose to adopt. The adopted children are their own and as much of a part of their families as any biological children. Discussing topics like this before marriage is a good idea. A couple should not make a life commitment before having a good understanding where they both stand on important matters such as this. Of course when you've always got a chaperon around like unmarried Duggar kids do that doesn't lend itself to having honest conversations about important topics like this.

[trailmix2014]

Gothard believes in "generational sins", which means adoption isn't something he would condone.

recoveringgrace.org/2011/10/adoption-the-ultimate-act-of-grace/

[Feberin]

I actually do know somebody who adopted despite having biological children. My stepmother adopted her third of her five children. My MIL also adopted but it was a relative so it's not something she sought out. One of my co-workers daughters had two children then adopted two more children. I have a friend who talks about adopting when she's finished having biological children too.

However these people aren't Duggars and while five children is considered a large family by US standards these days it's not a Duggar sized family plus my stepmother only had three when she adopted. I can't imagine many adoption agencies would let somebody with ten or twelve children adopt. Plus once the show is over I doubt any of them will have the extra money to put towards an adoption.

[Ladycreo]

It seems to be a form of trendy talk for them; afterall we learned way back that Bill Gotthard does not advise adopting. Something to do with "sins of the father" being brought into your home/family. Never good, according to Bill.

Direct quit from Gothard

"It is significant that our modern concept of adoption in unknown to the Law which God gave to Israel.†IBLP warns against adoption because it also teaches that a child inherits the sins of his father, so an adopted child is bringing sin into the home.

"Causes of Conflicts — Adopted children are affected by the sins of their natural parents, and these sins are usually very severe.â€

pfo.org/evol-fad.htm

Families that do adopted need to try and discover the sins of the adopted child's parents so they will be prepared to deal with them and to teach the child to deal with these sins.

[Four is Enough]

most agencies won't place an infant with a set of parents over 40. They will, however, place an older child, provided that there are no more than 40 years between the age of the parent (either one) and the age of the child. So Jim Bob is 47, right? Isn't she older than he is? So the youngest aged child placed with them would be 7. Michelle would never allow that.

[Toothfairy]

most agencies won't place an infant with a set of parents over 40. They will, however, place an older child, provided that there are no more than 40 years between the age of the parent (either one) and the age of the child. So Jim Bob is 47, right? Isn't she older than he is? So the youngest aged child placed with them would be 7. Michelle would never allow that.

I think maybe a pre teen/teen. I know some agencies won't place a child that age with an almost 50yo

[ncb]

I also doubt any agency would place a child with 19 other kids (or however many are at home now!)

most agencies won't place an infant with a set of parents over 40. They will, however, place an older child, provided that there are no more than 40 years between the age of the parent (either one) and the age of the child. So Jim Bob is 47, right? Isn't she older than he is? So the youngest aged child placed with them would be 7. Michelle would never allow that.

[Ivycoveredtower]

most agencies won't place an infant with a set of parents over 40. They will, however, place an older child, provided that there are no more than 40 years between the age of the parent (either one) and the age of the child. So Jim Bob is 47, right? Isn't she older than he is? So the youngest aged child placed with them would be 7. Michelle would never allow that.

Jim Bob is 49 Michelle is 48

[eh02]

I never thought JB and Michelle were thinking about adopting - not for a second. And though I can see Jill and Derick moving to other countries, I'm not sure I can see them adopting either. It'd be unexpected, though not totally shocking.

I wouldn't be surprised if Jessa and Ben were the first to adopt. They're so holier-than-thou and it'd give them a great moral high ground over JB+M.

Despite all the crazy in the Duggar family, most children (and of course, particularly all the poor kids without families at all) would be very lucky to have people around who loved them as much as Jill and Derick or Josh and Anna probably would (or maybe Jessa and Ben...still hard for me to see her as a mom, but time will tell). I can't say I'd be sad or anything if they did decide to adopt, though it could quickly turn into a total circus if they all supplemented their biological kids with an infinite amount of adopted kids and could quickly have enough Duggar spawn to form their own army.

I hadn't realized Gothard was anti adoption until this week. Yikes, that's just vile. To suggest that children with absolutely nothing are tainted by their parents' sins and are not just a burden but actually introduce risk or "sins" into your family is pretty despicable. It might honestly be the worst thing I've ever read about him. :cry: It's odd, because though I never thought J'chelle and JB were ever going to adopt, they definitely always talked about adoption in a positive light and didn't suggest that they disagreed with it in the slightest - so it must not be very widely practiced, or maybe Gothard changed his mind later on?

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

It amazes me how different fundie speak is now compared to 25 years ago when I was growing up. When I was a kid- anything that wasn't "for the kingdom" was considered selfish and highly suspect. That meant anything other than church work of saving souls. I never heard anyone talking about the enviornment, being healthy, helping the the poor, adoption or education in a positive way. These were all considered evil liberal causes.

It scares me to realize how much more mainstream the fundie front is today. How much more PR savvy they are and are willing to hide their true feelings about issues. Most people don't even research enough to see the dark side behind this type of extremism.

If you have ever seen how fundie's treat stepkids- then you would know why very few adopt. Their doctrine really pushes the idea that of bloodline curses (such as mental illness, addiction, occult etc.) that are handed down from one generation to the next. I 100% believe that JB and Michelle think the children they created would be superior to an adopted child.

[Pandora Spocks]

I, too, am scared about how mainstream fundieism is becoming. I also don't like to identify myself as a Christian because I don't want people to assume that I am a fundie too.

That aside, isn't there some sort of evaluation that takes place before a person can adopt? I don't see Mullet passing any psych evaluation or even a home visit. I would like to think that the children in need of homes in the world are safe at least from the Duggars.

[grandmadugger]

I, too, am scared about how mainstream fundieism is becoming. I also don't like to identify myself as a Christian because I don't want people to assume that I am a fundie too.

That aside, isn't there some sort of evaluation that takes place before a person can adopt? I don't see Mullet passing any psych evaluation or even a home visit. I would like to think that the children in need of homes in the world are safe at least from the Duggars.

I don't know. I know someone who makes Michelle look almost sane and they were allowed to adopt. It's truly scary how well some people can hide their whack-a-do.

[SoybeanQueen]

Saw this mentioned again in relation to Ben and Jessa.

I just don't get why this keeps coming up. Do people feel that the Duggars, any of them, should be adopting?

I've never been around people who want to adopt for the sake of adopting, who are talking about adopting before they even get married. The only people I've known IRL who adopted did so because they could not have children naturally. This is only a handful of people. Less than 10 for sure.

Most people, IME, want to have their own kids and expect it. Is this some kind of super-Christian thing? Like, I'm a better Christian than you because I'm going to adopt some kids!

Why are Ben and Jessa even talking about adopting?

It's a good idea to discuss things that are important to the couple before they get married. It would be weird to spring it on one's spouse that you'd always hoped to adopt after you were already married, right? Just like it would be weird to not discuss whether or not kids were wanted at all before marriage.

Second, lots of people have biological kids and adopt.

Third, "their own kids" is an old-fashioned phrase that isn't well-received by most people today. Consider the child's point of view on that. I give people the benefit of the doubt the first time they say that in front of my kids, but after that I consider it quite rude.

None of this means I think the Duggars are good candidates for adoption at all. Their physical discipline history is reason enough to think they should not adopt. I think it's all lip service because they're anti-abortion and they know people would call them out even more if they didn't at least discuss adoption.

[lilith]

The Duggars aren't ever going to adopt. They just pay lip service to the idea so that their "pro-life" views don't appear to be as hollow as they actually are. The Dillards aren't ever going to adopt either - Jill's going to keep having a biological child every 18 months and forget about her youthful plan to save the souls of third world catholic orphans as she becomes buried in her own offspring.

That said, if either the Duggars or the Dillards ever did decide to go through with an adoption they wouldn't have to go through an agency and their approval process. They'd find a Christian "girl in trouble" at one of the many crisis pregnancy centres they are affiliated with and arrange a private adoption of a healthy white newborn whose mother and her family would be thrilled to send their baby to a celebrity Christian family.