Do You Think Jill & Derick Will Do Blanket Training?

[veron1que]

As derick is the headship, he will dictate their lifestyle.

I know it's an easy assumption that Jill is a duggat through and through, but she's a Dillard now. She's been raised to be submissive to her husband. Now I know them living in a duggar home, greatens jb's influence over the pair, but I still believe Derick will dominate as husband. The discipline of the kids will be his decision.

For example, if Jill was unhappy with her marriage for whatever reason, the duggars would tell her to pray about being sweet and acknowledging that the Lord is trying to teach her something. The duggars won't sweep in there and tell Derick how to be a husband. Their union is forever.

[BrownieMomma]

As derick is the headship, he will dictate their lifestyle.

I know it's an easy assumption that Jill is a duggat through and through, but she's a Dillard now. She's been raised to be submissive to her husband. Now I know them living in a duggar home, greatens jb's influence over the pair, but I still believe Derick will dominate as husband. The discipline of the kids will be his decision.

For example, if Jill was unhappy with her marriage for whatever reason, the duggars would tell her to pray about being sweet and acknowledging that the Lord is trying to teach her something. The duggars won't sweep in there and tell Derick how to be a husband. Their union is forever.

But see.. I don't think it will happen that way. I think Jim Bob will dominate and if Jill is unhappy, he is going to lay it on Derick to fix it.

My experience with fundies, and as a former fundie, the rules are all very well and good until you really want something your way, then you just do what you want and couch it as God's revelation or something.

Making their daughters be sweet and obedient benefited Jim Bob and Michelle. It's going to look very different when it's an outsider like Derick being an ass.

[mebeforee]

Yup, the Duggars definitely blanket train. Michelle talks about it in their first book. Of course, any mention of violence is not included.

I understand that they use it (or at least did in the past, it's hard to say with the younger kids because their behavior is very different from that of their older siblings), but I don't consider it a part of their brand. I'd say their brand mostly includes having as many babies as possible, homeschooling those babies, being debt free and being 'modest', and as their children get older the courtship model is also included as part of the brand. The blanket training that they have written about (non-violent) isn't exactly what's being speculated about here with wondering whether Jill will use it. And as a general concept it's not talked about by the family at much length. It isn't featured on the televised stuff. Even if it's in the book, probably only about a quarter of their fanbase will end up reading that stuff. And I do think that the majority of Christian families that consider themselves Duggar fans would be completely appalled by the Blanket Training models that include swatting infants and toddlers because they've reached for an offered toy. As the Pearls' 'child training' became more well-known and controversial, with abuse cases and child deaths directly linked to the practices, the Duggars removed mention of them or links to their books from the official sites. They've distanced themselves from the practice, and although they supported the child training stuff in the past, it's clear that the youngest children in the family aren't getting the same kind of discipline that the older ones did. It's not important enough to the family's spiritual/moral stance for them to risk negative attention about it, so I don't think most fans of the show even know about it. My point isn't that they've never used it or don't still maintain some of those 'training' methods, but that even if they still use it to some degree I can't imagine a scenario in which they'd be able to force a reluctant adult son or daughter to use it on their own children. They've tried to prevent being associated with the Pearls and I'm sure the kids in the family know that and see that in regard to blanket training, they have some leverage and can choose not to do it without any significant consequence from the parents.

[toejamflipflop]

As derick is the headship, he will dictate their lifestyle.

I know it's an easy assumption that Jill is a duggat through and through, but she's a Dillard now. She's been raised to be submissive to her husband. Now I know them living in a duggar home, greatens jb's influence over the pair, but I still believe Derick will dominate as husband. The discipline of the kids will be his decision.

For example, if Jill was unhappy with her marriage for whatever reason, the duggars would tell her to pray about being sweet and acknowledging that the Lord is trying to teach her something. The duggars won't sweep in there and tell Derick how to be a husband. Their union is forever.

Derrick definitely was raised by loving parents who encouraged their children not stifled them. He is mature and seems to have his own ideals which can be tied to his upbringing so I think he will be a responsible parent while raising his children. I eventually think Jill will become a bit open in her way she raises her own children giving in to fundie light leanings that Derrick grew up in.

[BrownieMomma]

I guess I just see it differently as I see Derick NOT taking Jill away under his headship but instead sliding himself right under Jim Bob's headship.

The Duggar kids have spent their entire lives with their parents as the central focus, well for sure the older ones. There are no other significant figures. It's going to take some real separation to break the relationship between JB&M and Jill. A year or two in Nepal with no phone service would have done quite nicely. But they are ensconced in JB's McMansion, right under JB's thumb.

Oh sure, JB's all about the headship when he's the head. If he sees Jill sad and mopey and depressed because of her life with Derick, JB is not gonna tell Jill to be sweet and obey Derick.

[Feberin]

I guess I just see it differently as I see Derick NOT taking Jill away under his headship but instead sliding himself right under Jim Bob's headship.

The Duggar kids have spent their entire lives with their parents as the central focus, well for sure the older ones. There are no other significant figures. It's going to take some real separation to break the relationship between JB&M and Jill. A year or two in Nepal with no phone service would have done quite nicely. But they are ensconced in JB's McMansion, right under JB's thumb.

Oh sure, JB's all about the headship when he's the head. If he sees Jill sad and mopey and depressed because of her life with Derick, JB is not gonna tell Jill to be sweet and obey Derick.

Especially if it's for a reason such as Derrick feels that with four children under four they are too overwhelmed and need to start using some form of birth control to space out any future children.

[lascuba]

Jill is a control freak and a rabid kool-aid drinker...she will absolutely blanket train and hit her kids. And Derrick will be fine with that, because no matter how he was brought up that boy CHOSE to become more religious and seek out JIM BOB DUGGAR as a "prayer partner." Headship or not, he'll follow Jill's lead (if he doesn't initiate it himself) on discipline, because she's the one who grew up in the belief systemhe chose as an adult, so she's the expert.

[Yoshimi]

I think people are way over-exaggerating the amount of power and/or influence JB supposedly has on Derick. And all because of a McMansion. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great house and I’m sure Derick is grateful to have the opportunity live there rent-free for however long JB allows. But in no way does that mean Derick is now indebted to his father-in-law and has to do whatever he wants. If anything, that house should be JB’s thank you gift to the Dillards - Jill for all her years of labor and happily towing the party line, and Derick for bringing in the ratings for their show (thus more $$$ for the Duggars).

I think Derick will play along with JB for as long as he feels it’s okay and there are no major issues. But the second he disagrees with something or decides he wants out of the Duggars’ dog-and-pony show, he can just move out of their McMansion and take Jill and their kid(s) with him. Because unlike Ben (who IS indebted to JB at this point) Derick has options. He has a good-paying job and can provide a nice home for his family with or without the Duggars or a TLC paycheck. The Dillards has nothing to worry about.

I disagree about Jill being a control freak. IMO that’s more likely to be someone like Jessa, with her rigid, black-and-white way of thinking. I think the reason why Jill has always seemed like such a huge kool-aid drinker is because she’s inherently optimistic and easy-going. Despite her family’s unconventional and restricted lifestyle she found ways of adapting to the rules and do things that’ll make HER happy. Case in point - her midwife studies. While some of her other siblings were busy moping around the house, she decided to pursue an education and career because it’s what SHE wanted (even if it had to be a fundie-approved for her parents).

I don’t really see Jill creating a huge fuss or being miserable if or when Derick decides he wants a less fundie lifestyle. She’ll be caught off guard for a while but ultimately, she’ll find ways to adapt (like she’s done all her life) because she loves her husband and knows he’s a great catch. Same with Derick. I don’t think he’s the type to start enforcing his “headship†and demand Jill wears pants or whatever but he’ll expect there to be compromises in their marriage for both of them. I think he’ll be open-minded to some things like homeschooling but I definitely don’t see him being okay with Jill hitting their kids for any reason and he will let his wife know. Derick's not going to let Jill take the lead on all the parenting stuff just because she's had more experience raising her siblings. From what I've seen and heard of him, it seems like he wants to be a loving, proactive parent (like I'm sure his parents were to him) and he will make sure to educate himself and Jill on the best way to raise their family.