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LongDogMom

Do You Think Jill & Derick Will Do Blanket Training?

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LongDogMom

After reading Jill's comments this morning about her and Derick trying to decide if they'll follow IBLP-sleep training it made me wonder if they will follow the Pearls Blanket Training technique? She seems to be so intent on doing everything like her mother that it seems like she rarely questions if it's really right to do or not, or harmful to the baby.

 

I honestly can't imagine Derick going along with hitting a baby for crawling off a blanket. He might go along with the Sleep Training because a lot of people believe in getting a baby on a schedule but actually hitting a child for being curious? Can't see him being okay with that.

 

I wonder if this baby will bring out a lot of their differences. People often resort to doing what their parent(s) did and wanting their child to have similar experiences that were positive for them. Derick, clearly, while having strong faith, did not grow up in such a restrictive anti-Secular environment. I wonder if him wanting (or his Mom wanting) to do things with the baby/child in ways that were normal for him but were not allowed in the Duggar home will raise problems in their relationship. Do you think so? I mean, according to the Duggars beliefs, the man is the head of the house and makes the decisions, but I can see Jill whining to her parents who might try to strongarm Derick into doing things their way. What do you think?

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Ivycoveredtower
After reading Jill's comments this morning about her and Derick trying to decide if they'll follow IBLP-sleep training it made me wonder if they will follow the Pearls Blanket Training technique? She seems to be so intent on doing everything like her mother that it seems like she rarely questions if it's really right to do or not, or harmful to the baby.

I honestly can't imagine Derick going along with hitting a baby for crawling off a blanket. He might go along with the Sleep Training because a lot of people believe in getting a baby on a schedule but actually hitting a child for being curious? Can't see him being okay with that.

I wonder if this baby will bring out a lot of their differences. People often resort to doing what their parent(s) did and wanting their child to have similar experiences that were positive for them. Derick, clearly, while having strong faith, did not grow up in such a restrictive anti-Secular environment. I wonder if him wanting (or his Mom wanting) to do things with the baby/child in ways that were normal for him but were not allowed in the Duggar home will raise problems in their relationship. Do you think so? I mean, according to the Duggars beliefs, the man is the head of the house and makes the decisions, but I can see Jill whining to her parents who might try to strongarm Derick into doing things their way. What do you think?

I think Jill will do it. it's all she knows and I don't think she'll break away from Michelle at least not with this baby maybe a future baby but not this one. As for Derick I think he may dislike it but will probably let her do it. figuring she knows what's she's doing since she has all those siblings she helped raise.

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mommadog

I don't think Derick will ever allow blanket training , regardless of the amount of kids they have. I doubt Josh was blanket trained since he was born before Gothard came into their lives. However, I think Cathy would be appalled if she even thought her g/baby would be struck for any reason!! I have a feeling she and Derick have a very close relationship and she will let him know how she feels about many things she disagrees with the Duggar's on. I don't think Derick wants a little robot that is afraid to move or explore it's surroundings. I can only imagine how devastated Cathy would be! So, I don't think baby Dilly, or any other babies, will have to suffer blanket training no matter how much whining Jill may do to her parents. Besides, a good fundie wife isn't allowed to complain about her husband...right!!

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SuffolkNWhat

If they do I hope to God that they do the gentle version that does involve hitting the infant.

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mebeforee

I'm not particularly convinced that Jill will do it. I've never seen her do any kind of physical discipline with her buddies, and James was quite a disobedient little handful when he was younger. That doesn't mean she won't spank her children when they misbehave, but I don't think she will try to beat down their spirits by turning them into tiny little Jill clones. Of course the Duggar parents did blanket training, at least with the oldest kids, but it doesn't appear they've done it much with the youngest ones (probably largely because of the media attention. Not just that they don't want that 'spare the rod, spoil the child' thing witnessed on TV, but also probably don't want their children making offhand comments about it when they're out in public or whatever. Bad PR). So it may be that the oldest kids, who probably experienced spanking and such themselves, have noticed that their parents have drawn far away from that kind of corporal punishment and maybe that has given them the opportunity to change their own minds about whether it's appropriate.

Jill seems like a naturally gentle and sweet person and I think it would not only be traumatic for her children to be trained the Pearl way (as it would be for all children), but I think she would really struggle and suffer if she forced herself to do blanket training or beating to break the will or hitting with an object, etc. I think that would be really hard for both her and Derick. And if Derick was struggling to accept that kind of parenting, and noticed Jill tearful or upset by having to hit their children also, it would be easy for him to say 'let's just not do it this way, then'. He surely wasn't blanket trained, and he turned out to be a great guy, so there's no reason they couldn't find other disciplinary methods that would fit their family better than the Pearls'.

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jerkit

A semi-related question: is "gentle blanket training" a thing? Like where you try to teach a kid to stay on the blanket but you don't hit them? If they get off the blanket, you say "no" and gently put them back on the blanket?

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BrownieMomma

The Duggars seemed to have distanced themselves from the Pearl methods. It seems like the swell of popularity for it has died down in recent years, no doubt helped along by some publicized abuse cases.

The blanket training I read about in No Greater Joy did not involve the baby being struck as he/she crawled off the blanket. I read this back somewhere around 2000-2001ish so my memory may not be the greatest, as I sure as heck was not going to do it although I knew one woman who did.

They put the baby on a blanket on the floor and placed a toy just out of reach. When the baby reached for it, the mom said firmly "No" then swatted the baby's palm with.. pvc pipe? I can't remember now. Maybe it was a switch of some sort. Maybe it was a wooden spoon or other kitchen tool.

The goal was not to get the baby to play quietly on the blanket. The goal was to have the child instantly stop when Mom said no.

I doubt they will do it. There is too much publicity and scrutiny, esp after Adrian Peterson. While sleep training will undoubtedly be popular with other fundies, not sure the blanket training is going to fly.

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SuffolkNWhat
A semi-related question: is "gentle blanket training" a thing? Like where you try to teach a kid to stay on the blanket but you don't hit them? If they get off the blanket, you say "no" and gently put them back on the blanket?

Exactly that

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TXGirlInAMaterialWorld

I think that JB and Michelle would put a lot of pressure on Jill to tow the family line. They need to show the world that their wonderful parenting techniques work and will be passed down. It would also hurt their brand- why would people still buy their books and such if even their own daughter doesn't follow those methods. If the first daughter to leave starts picking and choosing what she does or doesn't want to follow- all hell will break loose with the younger kids.

When I was growing up, my mother often said that our family was not a cafeteria where you get to choose what standards you do and do not want to follow. You are going to have it all and you are going to like it! I see JB and Michelle having the same attitude with their kids. She and Derick might take a kinder, gentler approach to it- but I don't think they will ever completely abandon the Duggar parenting methods.

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artdecades

I think her kids will be trained up in the Pearl method. Remember, Jill actually was parented by Michelle before the cameras, so her experience growing up was probably a lot less wild than the howlers and lost girls. She is also all about the cheery countenance and obedience. I see her happily doing things like blanket training and believing that it really helps a child grow up to be godly.

You also have to look at who she is going to be getting parenting advice from. With the exception of Derick's mom, she is only friends with other fundies. She will probably be hearing advice from Michelle and Anna and her other ATI friends. Even though she and Derick are more worldly than them, she still has a very narrow experience and support system around her.

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klynn

I hope not. I can't see Derick being ok with that at all. And fundie wives must obey their husbands!

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Toothfairy

Does Anna do blanket training?? And Cathy will never allow her grandchild to be hit for no reason. Derrick might love Jill but height not follow suit including the sleep training.

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grandmadugger

I don't know what ATI sleep training but sleep training in general isn't a bad thing. I know some people disagree with it but at some point the child has to learn to go to sleep and wake-up on a schedule, well unless you are a Duggar. :whistle:

Blanket training, well what you guys have described, I don't see flying with Derrick and his family. I had thought blanket training was teaching the child to entertain themselves on a blanket while mommy and daddy did other things. Not obedience for the sake of obedience. That just makes me ill. Hitting a baby with a pipe or switch or wooden spoon I can't even go there.

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whitegirl22

Sure, they will. Jill's kids will have to be more Godler than God himself or herself. Not only will she toe the party line, she will improve on it. She is JB's wing man. Remember, the kids are a reflection of the Parents regarding upbringing etc.

I hope to God she get more training before she unleashes her nursing skills upon the third world.

Jill does not understand free will. I see her looking strangely at Jessa when she laughs about burning the bread and other small stuff. Jill does not see anything to laugh about, she thinks Jessa is laughing at her which makes her more competitive, example, sending out the baby registry so early. That was really bad form between sisters.

Anne's kids were never blanket trained:

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Josieandtheduggarcats

I see no evidence that Jill wants to deviate from her families way of doing things. She is the good girl of the family. It is also very likely she has participated in blanket training already. I've read a few blogs by other women who were raised quiver full the admit to phycally disciplining their younger siblings. I hope I'm wrong and would love to here Derrick and Jill come out and say they won't use blanket training.

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Mela99
Does Anna do blanket training?? And Cathy will never allow her grandchild to be hit for no reason. Derrick might love Jill but height not follow suit including the sleep training.

I like what we've seen of Cathy thus far, but... if Derick drank the kool-aid, ain't no way he's going to let his mother tell him how to raise HIS children.

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mebeforee
I think that JB and Michelle would put a lot of pressure on Jill to tow the family line. They need to show the world that their wonderful parenting techniques work and will be passed down. It would also hurt their brand- why would people still buy their books and such if even their own daughter doesn't follow those methods. If the first daughter to leave starts picking and choosing what she does or doesn't want to follow- all hell will break loose with the younger kids.

That may be true, but at the same time, they have distanced themselves significantly from those controversial leaders. Especially the Pearls - we know they used their 'training' methods when their oldest kids were still young, and they had a link to their Train Up A Child book on their official site for a very long time. That is no longer there, and there's really no evidence that the youngest kids have ever seen the bad side of a pvc pipe, especially when it comes to their behavior. They don't have the beaten-down cult-like stupor that you see in the really old specials with the kids who did grow up under that parenting style. Even the howlers were still extremely young when the show started, and after the Pearls started getting bad press the Duggars have pretty much eliminated/avoided any mention of them or question about them. I'm sure there are some aspects of parenting that the Duggar children will have an almost impossible time getting away from, but I don't think that blanket training is one of those things. It's not part of 'the brand' in any respect, they've never addressed it on the show and cut all ties to it after they saw how people were reacting to the child abuse cases in the news that were linked to the Pearls. It would be hard for them to enforce something as a True Biblical Principle (or however they might phrase it) and also make it evident that it's something that has to be 100% hidden from the public, who they only have contact with through their 'ministry'. I think it'd be super easy for a Duggar kid to get away from these unspoken aspects of parenting they may have grown up with.

I like what we've seen of Cathy thus far, but... if Derick drank the kool-aid, ain't no way he's going to let his mother tell him how to raise HIS children.

Remember that JimBob also drank the kool-aid. His mother and father (who openly disapproved of the lifestyle) still remained a huge part of his life, and he also included his sister and Amy in his life in spite of their disagreement on religion and legalism. As irritating as it was to watch Amy's special, the one valuable thing I thought she said was that she was Saved, but didn't think that God was up in heaven 'shaking his little fist' at people ... that's a significant difference from what the Duggars believe, lmao.

It's hard to say what JB's relationship with his parents was like when he started seeping into Quiverfull, but I think it's safe to say he wasn't totally happy with his upbringing and perhaps had stressful relationships with his parents. In spite of that, he maintained strong connection with those people and they had a big influence on his life and the lives of his children. That connection with Amy and her mother may have been a big reason the Duggars ever got a reality show in the first place, because they're so ~tolerant~ of people who aren't like them. :roll: But there's really no indication that Derick is dissatisfied with his own upbringing - especially with his mother. If anything, he shows deep love, respect and interest in his mother and her opinions. I think she will have as much an influence on his future family and childrearing as the average mother has on her child's family. It might be a work in progress, but I think most people default to what they felt worked when they were children, and marrying someone from a different background won't change that. (It might, however, cause conflict between the married couple based on differing ideas about how to bring up a child.)

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grandmadugger

Is Jill devious enough to not blanket train when Derrick is around but do it when he's off at work? That's around 9 hours she has to "train" the baby without his input.

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silverspoons

From Jill saying Derick wanted Dr. Pepper to stay awake during those long nights with a newborn, I see Derick being involved with the first(and maybe 2-3) babies. I think he is excited to have a baby around. He has no younger siblings or nieces and nephews. Everything including crawling , toddling and the curiosity a baby and toddler have will be exciting for Derick and not meant to be stopped.

Bin and Jessa, I see that blanket coming out. I think Bin and Jessa will be maybe even more over the top then Michelle.

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Ivycoveredtower
From Jill saying Derick wanted Dr. Pepper to stay awake during those long nights with a newborn, I see Derick being involved with the first(and maybe 2-3) babies. I think he is excited to have a baby around. He has no younger siblings or nieces and nephews. Everything including crawling , toddling and the curiosity a baby and toddler have will be exciting for Derick and not meant to be stopped.

Bin and Jessa, I see that blanket coming out. I think Bin and Jessa will be maybe even more over the top then

Michelle.

Actually I'm pretty sure Derick's brother is younger then him.

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FloraKitty35

I also think whether or not they do blanket training (Pearl Style) will have to do with whether or not they have the cameras around or get a spin off.

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BrownieMomma

I don't think they will do blanket training.

They will do other things, because the outlook toward children in those circles is skewed a certain way.

It's a really different mindset from molding a child to ..hmm.. you could say.. blossoming a child.

Molding a child is all about getting them to be saved as early as possible, which Derick has said. It is saving a child from the stain of original sin. It is about shaping them, much the same as a sports dad or pageant mom, you know, those parents who set out from birth to win trophies. It is instilling into the children.

The flip of that is seeing who your child is. Guiding your child, primarily by being a role model yourself, in certain values. The child isn't stained by anything and there's no rush to get them saved. You aren't necessarily trying to mold and shape your child into a preconceived idea of what your child should be, rather you are discovering what kind of person God put in your life.

Jill won't blanket train but she and Derick are very much in this training mindset or she would not have even said the words sleep training. I doubt either of them have had much exposure to other parenting ideas or even think they should consider other parenting options. I am sure they see it as JB&M are clearly doing everything right, since JB&M are making all the mad loot, have all the fame and popularity, have the respect of many in the Christian world.

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RabbitKM

Blanket training sounds so crazy. You are essentially tricking your child? I remember I used to do that with my dog, I would open the door and see how well she was trained to stay outside. But I would do that in a playful manner, and of course she was a dog not a baby. How is a baby supposed to know what is actually happening? That is why playpens were invented. I totally see Jill doing it. Derick may not agree with it, but I think he will defer to her practices when it comes to their children. After all, she is the baby "expert." Not to mention, she has all day every day by herself with the baby. Oh yeah, she's gonna do it.

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RosyDaisy

It wasn't until I came to FJ that I realized that the blanket training mentioned here, isn't the same isn't the blanket training my sister did with her kids. Her kind was putting baby on the blanket with toys and playing with her/him. It didn't involve spanking.

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