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Got verbally abused by my first fundie today!


moodygirl86

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I was walking home from the city centre and was passing a traffic jam in the direction I had just come from. Somebody in a red van threw some water - which splashed on the pavement beside me - and screamed "DEVIL WORSHIPPING SLUT!" I whipped round to confront the driver of the van who was glaring at me with genuine hate in his eyes. His wife and young daughter - about 12 or 13 - were in the van with him, and that's when I noticed a halo sticker underneath the driver's window. I guessed he probably wouldn't have had the balls to do that on foot, so I decided to take advantage of the rush hour jam to see if we could have a constructive discussion.

ME: "You talking to me?"

HIM: "Yeah!"

ME: "What makes you assume I'm a devil worshipper?"

HIM: "Because you're dressed like a goth." (Today I'm wearing a black hooded jumper, blue jeans and black boots, along with a spiky choker. I also had black eye make-up on, red lipstick and black nail varnish. I have a ring through my bottom lip and short black spiky hair).

ME: "It's a free country and I'll wear whatever I feel comfortable in, thanks. Also, if you're going to judge a book by its cover, would you mind using the correct insult? I'm a punk rocker, not a goth. And goth isn't the same thing as devil worshipper - one's a style/music genre, the other is a religion. As a punk, I don't worship anybody - I do what I want as long as it harms no one else, but I'm ultimately a law unto myself."

HIM (really aggressively): Well I'm JUDGING you! Don't tell me how to practise my religion!

ME: What's your religion where you get to dictate how people dress and chuck water at them? Do you keep a supply to chuck at people you don't like the look of? How mature of you - that really proves your superiority to me, doesn't it. And why does how I dress affect you?

HIM: I'm a Christian and God tells me when people have got an aura of death and evil about them.

ME: Yeah, course. Knock on the door of any psychiatric hospital in the UK and tell them that. They won't even let you home for your toothbrush!

HIM: Anything else to say?

ME: Just that Jesus Christ - who your religion is named after - said NOT to judge people. So you've fucked up all round, haven't you. I suspect the God you think is talking to you actually sounds like Satan roaming the world in one of his many guises, so if anyone's a devil worshipper it's you."

At that point, the traffic got moving again and he yelled as he drove off, "I WILL see you again!" I shouted back "Wow! Like I'm REALLY quaking!" to which he gave me the finger. It had felt good talking back to him, but I'm slightly disconcerted at how much he hated me without knowing me. Honestly, the amount of anger you can invoke in some people just by your clothing/taste in music/haircut or whatever is unbelievable. It reminded me of animals in the wild who if they don't understand something, they just throw a rock at it. And the best bit was, the wife put her arms round her daughter's head to shield her eyes and ears from the exchange that took place between me and Headship, but she didn't mind the girl witnessing her dad throwing water at me like a spoilt kid who didn't get his own way. Throughout the conversation, the wife spoke only to say "Yeah!" in response to her husband's insults like a faithful helpmeet. No mind of her own at all. I was tempted to offer her my sympathies over her choice of husband but didn't think she'd appreciate it.

And maybe I could have avoided it all by ignoring him, but he was my first proper fundie I've really met - apart from the local vicar when I was a kid who was a positive pussycat in comparison to this nutter today. I wanted to understand why he thought the way he did, but just got a load of Christianese parroted at me. Still, at least I was open minded enough to try, and didn't prejudge him the way he did me.

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I'm so sorry... I seriously doubt the man is a Christian in the true sense. Not if he's spewing that much hate. Probably hasn't even cracked a bible open and is just going on what he heard from some other jackass "christian" author/preacher.

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Thanks for the kudos, Phoenix!

Fun2BeMe, I didn't see any passers by on the pavement - though there probably were - and the only witnesses I was aware of were the wife and daughter in the van. Like GeoBQN said, it technically is assault, but like an eejit, I was so busy bollocking him I failed to take note of his reg number! I suppose I could report him and tell the coppers to look for a red van with a halo sticker on it. But reading my post back, they'd probably blame me for engaging (I know from experience what West Midlands police can be like, though they were all right with me last time I called them for assistance). I don't know if they'd take me seriously when it was "just" water and it didn't even splatter on me. I don't feel assaulted, anyway. Just kind of righteously angry that he thought he could tell me what to do and I'd meekly change myself. Like boo-hoo, some Bible basher doesn't like me! How will I bear it?

And Gypsywanderer, I agree wholeheartedly! Just a dickhead using religion as an excuse to spew his hate. I think those types of people who take a dislike to you at first sight are lazy and can't be bothered to get to know the real you. And that's frankly the nicest thing I can say of him.

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I know! It was quite random. You do get street preachers in Birmingham city centre of a Saturday morning, but you can just walk past and not be forced to listen. It's not the first time a religious person has looked down on me for being me, but it's the first time they've forced their opinion on me quite so aggressively. Lovely example he was setting to his daughter. It's her I feel sorry for, and also the mum to some extent - though she's an adult and has more choices. Looking at the girl, she's early secondary age, so she's got a few more years yet. I hope she rebels against him by becoming a goth, Satanist and a crazy cat lady when she's older.

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I am SO sorry that happened to you! How awful that you had to experience such a disgusting human being. Ugh. That man is not a fundie. He is not a Christian. He may think he is in some twisted way, but he isn't. A true follower of Christ could not treat someone like that. I can't believe his poor daughter us being raised with that example. Really, I'm so sorry.......even if you are a braver and less emotional type than I am. ;-), it never feels good to have someone be nasty.

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Thanks Babycakes, but at the end of the day it's his loss. He is a nasty piece of work, but he's the one who will suffer in the end. I'm an agnostic and honestly don't know if there is a God who is witnessing all this or not, but I do believe what goes around comes around, even if not in the cosmic sense. People like that hang themselves in the end. He probably intimidates a lot of people, including his own family, and he mistakes that for respect. But no one truly respects that kind of arsehole, and he will eventually find himself completely alone if he carries on like this. He told me I'd die and go to hell, but if I was the Almighty, comparing everyone's "sins" my notes would look something like this:

MOODYGIRL86. Doesn't dress very feminine and likes her loud, abrasive music but is kind-hearted and wouldn't hurt a fly. She makes mistakes, like any human, but at least she admits when she's wrong.

ARSEHOLE IN VAN. Calls himself a Christian but is really a nasty little hypocrite, and I am frankly pissed off that he uses MY name as an excuse to intimidate people.

If I was God, I know who I'd judge more harshly.

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That is really horrible that this happened to you!! What a jerk for doing that!!

Cheers Jana! He ain't the first jerk I've met on my travels and he sure as dammit won't be the last, probably. But I bet he wouldn't have been quite as quick to be a wanker if he knew one of his victims was going to name and shame him on a worldwide snark board. Wonder if he'll stumble across this and recognise himself...

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How really unpleasant. I've been hit on by fundies, and talked about nastily behind my back by fundies (in fact, that may be their main stock-in-trade as far as social interaction with the unsaved), but never verbally assaulted like that.

Sample encounter:

Male fundy, 50something: (Approaches me on dark street and hands me a chick tract.)

me, 20something in those days: (Accepts chick tract while walking hurriedly past.)

Male fundy: Say, do you live around here, sweetheart?

me: (Drops chick tract.)

Male fundy, screaming: You just threw away your SOUL!!! :pull-hair:

I avoid confrontation, obviously; would never have stood up to one like you did! :mouse-shock: They're a fun group of people, aren't they? :shifty:

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Male fundy, screaming: You just threw away your SOUL!!! :pull-hair:

I avoid confrontation, obviously; would never have stood up to one like you did! :mouse-shock: They're a fun group of people, aren't they? :shifty:

Fucking hell, that would have freaked even me out, and I'm not exactly Ms Shy!

And you're right about fun. I wouldn't like to go to Sunday dinner with this family I met today.

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My first thought here was that I am so glad he just threw water at you and not acid. Most of what he did this time may have been verbal- but what about next time? I wish that you had taken his license plate # and reported him. It is possible that in the future he might escalate his attacks and his info might be useful for law enforcement to have (even if they wouldn't take it, you could keep it in case another, similar crime pops up in the news). I am so sorry you had to deal with that asshole. Not cool.

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I lived in an area that had lots of folks from Yemen, many of whom were recent immigrants. I got told to cover up a few times walking down the street. There were also a few restaurants that wouldn't serve women, flat-out. I sent my husband in one time, because I wondered if they just didn't serve non-Yemenis, but he was served right away.

Anyway, sorry that happened to you. WTF is wrong with people, anyway.

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My first thought here was that I am so glad he just threw water at you and not acid. Most of what he did this time may have been verbal- but what about next time? I wish that you had taken his license plate # and reported him. It is possible that in the future he might escalate his attacks and his info might be useful for law enforcement to have (even if they wouldn't take it, you could keep it in case another, similar crime pops up in the news). I am so sorry you had to deal with that asshole. Not cool.

Scary thought! I'll go down the cop shop tomorrow and tell them what the van looked like, just so they're aware. You're right, even if they don't take me seriously, at least I'll know I did my bit.

Amylynn, I'm going to stay FAR away from Yemen!

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I lived in an area that had lots of folks from Yemen, many of whom were recent immigrants. I got told to cover up a few times walking down the street. There were also a few restaurants that wouldn't serve women, flat-out. I sent my husband in one time, because I wondered if they just didn't serve non-Yemenis, but he was served right away.

Anyway, sorry that happened to you. WTF is wrong with people, anyway.

That's horrible that they don't serve women. Hate to change the subject but I think that might be illegal.

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That's horrible that they don't serve women. Hate to change the subject but I think that might be illegal.

Depends. If they specifically said that was why, you could have grounds to sue. If it's just reputative - as in, it's always women they refuse service to - they can hide behind "I-can-refuse-service-to-anyone-and-not-have-to-give-a-reason."

Amylynn, can you confirm which of the two it was? Just curious as I know the first one is illegal in Oregon.

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I kind of want to bake you a cake. Good for you for standing up for yourself!

Thanks Kate, that's very nice of you! Yum. Can it be in those gorgeous rainbow colours of your Lovely Horse background? (Just don't bake a jumper in it like Mrs Doyle would do!)

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Moodygirl, you're a badass and a role model and I wish I had one percent of your courage.

Awww thank you AuntCloud, for your lovely words! But don't make me blush, you'll spoil my snowy goth complexion, and that's exactly what this dude wants (lol, only joking)!

Also, I just want to say I bet you've got more courage and strength than you know. From what you've previously posted on here, you've got daughters who you're bringing up in preparation for this rotten world. That's not something that can be done without considerable perseverence and strength of character. You sound kind, sensible, and I believe you're a stronger person than you're giving yourself credit for.

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Why is it, I wonder, that while I was reading the exchange I was thinking of Cabinetman. The vulgarity, the picking a woman for the target, the throwing water on you and flipping you off at the end of the discourse. Sounds like our friend... sad to know there are multiples of him.

I'm curious when fundies became so coarse. None of the religious people (men or women) would flip anyone off, or swear at them. But then, I believe most of the men who do this only go in for any religion at all so they can be abusive fucks to their wives.

I would worry a bit-- something about you attracted him, it sounds like, or he'd not have been so visceral. Beware his van--if you see it often view him as a stalker.

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Why is it, I wonder, that while I was reading the exchange I was thinking of Cabinetman. The vulgarity, the picking a woman for the target, the throwing water on you and flipping you off at the end of the discourse. Sounds like our friend... sad to know there are multiples of him.

I'm curious when fundies became so coarse. None of the religious people (men or women) would flip anyone off, or swear at them. But then, I believe most of the men who do this only go in for any religion at all so they can be abusive fucks to their wives.

I would worry a bit-- something about you attracted him, it sounds like, or he'd not have been so visceral. Beware his van--if you see it often view him as a stalker.

Yeah, good catch! I know what you mean about Cabinetman.

To be honest, I'm not that concerned about him being a stalker. Birmingham's a MASSIVE city by UK standards, and you can walk around for weeks without bumping into anyone you know. It's second only to London in size. As for attracting him, I'm the first to admit I don't blend in. I'm taller than average at 5"7 and my hairstyle is shorter and spikier than most women my age (20s). And punky clothes aren't an uncommon thing to see in this city, but they're not the average either, so I admit that anyone who wanted to pick on me could spot me easily. But then I'm a defiant cow by nature and on principle refuse to blend in or hide myself away. He won't get to control me, neither will anyone else. I've done nothing to be ashamed of, and if that's what he wants me to feel, he'll be waiting till Judgment Day.

And with a van like his, he'd have to be damn stupid to pull the same crap on the same person twice! I'm fairly confident that this is going to be a one-off, at least with me. But I'll have a word with the authorities tomorrow and make them aware of his behaviour.

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