Ben Living With the Duggars - MERGE

[Curious]

I still can't believe these rules & regulations & curfews are for women in their 20's. :angry-banghead:

This is another example of either poor parenting or parents not trusting their parenting or their kids to follow their beliefs.

IF they really believed that they raised their kids the right way, they would trust that their kids knew the right thing to do and if they were serious about these "courtship standards" they (each couple) individually set up they would not have to watch them every moment and have curfews and all this other nonsense.

At 18 years old, I LIVED with my ex-husband for 3 months prior to our getting married and I was a virgin when we got married. We did hold hands and kiss, but there was no nudity etc. We even slept in the same bed.

How did I accomplish this amazing feat? Because that is what I choose to do. I didn't have my parents or anyone else watching me every moment of the day to make sure that I didn't break my own standards :roll:

[nst]

Can someone explain how paying Ben works? Is he Jim Bob's employee and he takes taxes out of a paycheck? or does he hand him cash?

My husband would love to hire an employee but with the cost of taxes, workman's comp and insurance he can't afford to. $15 an hour turns into $26-28 after the other costs are added in.

So if Ben hurts himself mowing the lawn as Jim Bob's employee how does it work? Workman's comp?, home owners policy, ben have private insurance. that is another issue, at least we know Derick has health coverage for Jill & babydilly, what will Ben do? have Jim Bob pay for the policy?

I think TLC pays him and JB just agrreed to it to keep everyone happy

[nst]

who thinks after they get married - they will live at the house ?

I just had that thought - oppressive

[Justme]

So after the wedding, they replace the twin bed with bunk beds???

[Ralar]

I see nothing wrong with a child or child-in-law working for a successful family business if the child will learn skills to continue and expand the business, take over the business, start his/her own business, or work for someone else at the next level. I see a couple things wrong with the Jim Bob / Ben Bob arrangement including, but not limited to:

• The child usually completes his/her education before or while working in the family business. I don't see Ben Bob completing a degree. He dropped out of community college and is now ""taking online classes," probably College Minus.

• Ben Boob is probably not learning many useful skills. As many have mentioned, he is Jim Boob's bitch. If he was teaching him property management or investment skills (and maybe giving Ben Bob and Jessa seed money as a wedding gift (or even a loan) to get started) that would be different, but Ben Boob is Jim Boob's lawn boy and bitch. Period.

• Jim Boob's business cannot support 19 sons and sons-in-law, and their future huge families

Ben: You are just a boy. Think about your future. If you are dead set on marrying Jessa, do so and then move back to your family home and go back to school. Your father will see that as a huge victory and will welcome you with open arms. You can go to school and work, Jessa can work, and you can put off the baybeez until you (or you and Jessa) can support your family. If you continue on the path you've gone down, you are going to be Jim Bob's indentured servant forever. Look at Jill & Derek: they are living in one of Jim Boob's homes, but Derek is educated and can support a family if Jim Bob pulls the rug out from under him. Derek is not Jim Boob's indentured servant or bitch. He can tell Jim Boob to fuck off and walk away with his wife (and child in progress), and live happily ever after. You'll never be able to do that if you continue on your current path.

[silverspoons]

who thinks after they get married - they will live at the house ?

I just had that thought - oppressive

JD yesterday in the dishing with the Duggars said that the family is starting a building project similar to the TTT and now the younger kids will learn what the older kids did years ago about building(what is that start a project and have TLC finish it?). I bet they have building Jessa a house or using one's of Ben's dad's manufactured ones.

Maybe Jessa wants to live on the property for all the free child care. She can have fun making babies and just pass them off to her siblings for care. Anna has had a steady stream of helpers 1000 miles away. We already see Jill's family helping at her house so obviously the Duggars can't cut the cord.

[ILoveJellybeans]

This makes it so much easier for them to just have sex and get it over with. Im not sure whether these two are compatible with eachother, but if they have some fun before marriage behind their parents backs, it might clear things up for them a bit more.

[Cassia]

So Jim Bob will not only be Ben's father in law, but also his employer AND his landlord?!

Oh yeah, this is gonna end well...

:doh:

[itsnotmeitsu]

Ben is an idiot. JB is a master defrauder--getting all these people to think they're so righteous, not kissing, and the guy's living on the property. As you sow, so shall ye reap.

[Hooligan]

Wow calling that shipping container a guest house is a huge stretch. Any one wanna bet the "shower" is just a hook up to the hose? At least the cold water might keep the ebile thoughts at bay till Nov 1 :roll:

edited because my brain moves faster than my fingers.

[ariel9]

They're children until another headship takes over. I still thing everyone including Josh is still a child. His parents furnish his lifestyle even after he said I do.

I honestly think the transfer of authority that will happen is going to be for Ben going from Pa Seewald to Jim Boob. Furthermore as a child who grew up with strict parents we just get creative and find ways around rules. There are many holes in the system proposed by the family. All that is keeping them from sweet fellowship and losing their lip virginity is their convictions.

[ljmedicinewoman]

Sorry if this has been addressed already, but any idea if Jessa and Ben are possibly living in Josh and Anna's old house?

After marriage, obvi lol

[nana sew dear]

Are they getting married Oct. 1st or Nov.1st? I've heard both now.

Also, that "guest house" is craptacular! :ew:

[jerkit]

Are they getting married Oct. 1st or Nov.1st? I've heard both now.

Also, that "guest house" is craptacular! :ew:

11/1

[karismanic]

Money disagreements are a leading cause of divorce, and mixing money obligations with family is never a good idea. Isn't this arrangement just setting them up for trouble?

Maybe Ben realized Jessa is never going to learn how to cook his favorite meals, so he's opted for a life of TTC at the TTH.

[toejamflipflop]

who thinks after they get married - they will live at the house ?

I just had that thought - oppressive

I was thinking the same as yourself . I'll bet Jimbob gives them a piece of land on his property as a wedding present and they are the first ones to build in the compound. That way Ma and Pa Duggar can have their youngins living close to them so they can control them.

[keen23]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Ben is still a child and should not be getting married.

[indifferent]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Ben is still a child and should not be getting married.

I can totally see a divorce 5-10 years from now. This or that they break away from the Duggar clan and REALLY set up their own rules.

This is so ridiculous. If they WOULD let the kids decide, Jessa could work etc (like somebody already mentioned) - but that is just impossible. It is impossible to do your own thing. This IS a cult. And while I'm ranting I want to add this: imho, getting attached emotionally and have that broken can hurt you more than engaging in physical contact. But that's none of my business..

[toejamflipflop]

I was thinking about how fast BenBob honed in on the Duggars and Jessa really pushing his way into all their lives. Have they known each other for a year? If I can remember didn't Ben say when he first showed up on the scene he went to their church to meet their daughters and hope a relationship started with one of them. I will have to go back and look at old episodes. The next thing we know is he and his mother are on the Duggar bus going to Erin Bates wedding. Ben sure worked fast to incorporate himself into the Duggars lives. We know Jimbob is a liar. I was the one who mentioned that Jill had a picture of Dericks mother and her in her bedroom on her dresser before the meeting of Derick and Jill. This prompted me to believe they were in a courtship already since it proved Jill had already met Dericks mother. TLC tried to make up shit that they were meeting for the first time when Jill said she was in love and wanted to travel to meet Derick. Here Jill was hobnobbing with Dericks Mom all along and it was even admitted that Jill visited Dericks mom and spent time sitting in Dericks car ( duh) to get to know the things he loved before he came home. So Jill was canoodling with Dericks mom and jim bob and tlc had us believing she had never met derick or his family. Jim bob is a liar and a fraud.

As for BenBob. He's been turned into Jimbobs glorified Gardiner.

[silverspoons]

I was thinking the same as yourself . I'll bet Jimbob gives them a piece of land on his property as a wedding present and they are the first ones to build in the compound. That way Ma and Pa Duggar can have their youngins living close to them so they can control them.

I posted before JD said yesterday the family is involved with a building project like the TTT currently so it has to be a home for Ben & Jessa on the compound.

[indifferent]

http://websta.me/p/797057168432431648_293636535

Quick quote: "Screen cap of Ben moving in. The sign says Welcome Hartonos. The Hartonos didn't show up until June. Fact: Benny boy has been living in the crappy room in the front yard since June. This has been going on for months."

[toejamflipflop]

what does that guest house look like? does anyone have a photo? I'm surprised Jimbob doesn't have him living on the bus. The bus sounds like it would have better accommodations than that guest house.

[indifferent]

what does that guest house look like? does anyone have a photo? I'm surprised Jimbob doesn't have him living on the bus. The bus sounds like it would have better accommodations than that guest house.

It's a container. You can see it on the People website's video

Edit: Nevermind, apparently I have nothing to do and made some screenshots. Enjoy!

The pretty guest "house". It's a container with apparently...

... a garage down below!

And just plain open spaces to this garage, that ...

... the girls only stapled closed with a stupid rug.

Hard work ethics.

yawn

The finished room.

[toejamflipflop]

Thanx indifferent. Found it, watched it and all I can say is OMG its like living in a tin can. I wouldn't call that any kind of house let alone a guest house.

[sunshine]

Thanx indifferent. Found it, watched it and all I can say is OMG its like living in a tin can. I wouldn't call that any kind of house let alone a guest house.

...without adequate bathroom, utilities, closet, running water, sewage system etc. So, it is like going on a mission trip then.