Uncle Ray's Potato Chips (Yes, it's relevant.)

[clarinetpower]

Went on a long road trip a few weeks ago, and was thrilled to find smaller bags of my favorite snack, Dill Pickle Chips. Got a bag of "Uncle Ray's" for 89 cents at a gas station in Indiana. As I munched (not super happily--they were too sweet and salty and had no vinegar flavor, so they were just disappointing--Lay's is better...), I read the back.

Uncle Ray goes into a long story about taking his kids to the zoo and watching them (and SAVING them) as they are nearly eaten by a lion, grabbed and dragged by an orangutan and licked by a camel. And all this is a lesson on a Character Trait, ALERTNESS. Uncle Ray praises ALERTNESS (he bolded it each time).

Guess what? He includes a link for more information! To characterfirst.com! Also to his website, unclerays.com, which now has no articles linked, despite the welcome letter that tells us there are at least 30. Hmmm... I wonder why??? (Could it be... SATAN? Or GOTHARD???) /ChurchLadyimpression

I wish I had photographed the story, but I didn't. Sorry. If anyone sees these, can you do that and post it? This story was Chapter 18. The gist was he took his 3 kids to some park (probably back in the 80's because his kids have families now). There was a drive-around safari and a zoo. They opened the window to "pet a camel" who then stuck his head in the car. Ray rolled up the window, and the camel pulled back, but they still managed to trap HIS TONGUE IN THE WINDOW. Then at the walk around part, a lion looked like he was going to eat their small kid, and their kid tried to hand feed an orangutan who grabbed her arm and wouldn't let go until Big Uncle Ray won the day by pulling harder at his kid. All of this praises his ALERTNESS and being ALERT. It lacks any self-deprecating humor about him being an idiot, which he is. (But apparently, he believes he isn't an idiot, he's ALERT.)

***my two cents:

A good parent wouldn't let his children open the window in the first place to pet a camel. Camels are not petting animals, and not at a drive around safari. You don't have dominion. Idiot.

A good parent wouldn't let a child feed an orangutan, much less hand one a snack. You don't feed wild animals. You don't have dominion. Idiot.

A good parent wouldn't let a child anywhere near a wild lion. You don't have dominion. Idiot.

A good parent teaches a child how to behave around animals in the first place, not assuming they are toys or pets or will bend to his will. They are animals. You don't have dominion. Idiot.

This is not about ALERTNESS to the world around him as much as understanding it and not behaving like a buffoon in the first place. You don't have dominion. Idiot.

And I will NEVER buy his chips again. Even if they had been good, which they weren't. Idiot.

:angry-banghead:

[Howl]

...and a bag of chips!

I noodled around and found this little gem on the 700 Club:

Uncle Ray's Divine Revelation

Ray floundered, drank, had a near death experience (blood out of every orifice, if you must know), found God and now he's rich.

Unfortunately, it does not sound like God's hand was in the bag of chips you bought.

We're getting ready to do a long road trip to NM, and I'll keep and eye out for pickle flavored chips (Lays). Had not seen or heard of pickle flavored chips 'til now.

Ray grew up poor in the projects, dropped out of school in 8th grade to start working in a foundry in Detroit and was given an offer of joining the military or prison at 18, but, ya know, that's no excuse for being a nincompoop.

[Arete]

Is this the same Uncle Ray of the Uncle Ray's BBQ Sauce fame?

[Mama Mia]

I wonder if Uncle Ray and Dr. Bronner are related? :D

Everyone who has to have something to read at all times HAS to have a shampoo bottle of Dr. Bonner's in the shower. :lol:

[LaLele]

Is this the same Uncle Ray of the Uncle Ray's BBQ Sauce fame?

I think that is Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ. But maybe that was him before he was saved.

[Arete]

I think that is Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ. But maybe that was him before he was saved.

Your right, the BBQ sauce is Sweet Baby Ray's. I'm going to just put it out of my mind as 2 separate brands, because I love Sweet Baby Ray's on pulled pork, and the mere thought of giving it up brings a tear to my eye.

[thoughtful]

Apparently, there is a different inspirational story :roll: on each flavor, demonstrating a Gothard character trait.

Found a pic of the naked cousins lesson in discretion, on the back of the jalapeno chips, here:

facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1156598

And I found creepy stalking persuasiveness (on the back of the roasted garlic flavor!):

[Rebelwife]

Apparently, there is a different inspirational story :roll: on each flavor, demonstrating a Gothard character trait.

Found a pic of the naked cousins lesson in discretion, on the back of the jalapeno chips, here:

facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1156598

And I found creepy stalking persuasiveness (on the back of the roasted garlic flavor!):

Ew. :shock: (Seriously - no words.)

[Mama Mia]

Well, personally, I'd probably buy them, but just because I always get bored and read the back of packages, and that at least has more than a bunch of ingrediants.

[ViolaSebastian]

This thread just makes me want a pulled pork sandwich and pickle chips.

[Geechee Girl]

I gotta keep my eye out for these. My go-to brand is Zapp's. They also make a Cajun Dill Gator-Tater flavor.

[roddma]

I really like Uncle Rays Chips. I hadnt noticed until lately the link to CharacterFIrst. Maybe they just started putting the link on them or I just never noticed. I dont buy the camel story.It sounds exaggerated.

[RachelB]

Ew. :shock: (Seriously - no words.)

And by persuasive, he means coercive. Good grief.

[kpmom]

I really like Uncle Rays Chips. I hadnt noticed until lately the link to CharacterFIrst. Maybe they just started putting the link on them or I just never noticed. I dont buy the camel story.It sounds exaggerated.

I agree about the zoo stories being exaggerated. Orangutans are not the kind of animal you'd allow people to feed at a zoo.

I'm not familiar with Uncle Ray's chips, but I wouldn't buy anything connected to Gothard, that's for sure.

[Curious]

I really like Uncle Rays Chips. I hadnt noticed until lately the link to CharacterFIrst. Maybe they just started putting the link on them or I just never noticed. I dont buy the camel story.It sounds exaggerated.

A gothard follower (ie: fundy) exaggerates? Surely you jest!

[nomoxian]

The "Hot" flavour has the best story of them all! Apparently a young Uncle Ray took the clothes from people who had been skinny dipping :pink-shock:

[apple1]

My go-to brand is Zapp's. They also make a Cajun Dill Gator-Tater flavor.

Golden Flake. (not sold where I live - have to get them when we visit relatives further south)

Seriously - best potato chips ever. Ingredient statement with NO creepy narratives, too.

[thoughtful]

The "Hot" flavour has the best story of them all! Apparently a young Uncle Ray took the clothes from people who had been skinny dipping :pink-shock:

Yep, that's the "Discretion" one in the link I posted earlier -- pic was too big to post and I didn't have time to shrink it at the time.

Here it is:

So he learned his lesson, and now has enough discretion not to play practical jokes on his cousins.

Having enough discretion not to follow Gothard and to stop preaching to his customers doesn't seem to be in his plan, though.

Also, when we send Sarah Maxwell to a writing class, can we send this guy with her?

[blisterine]

Is the front of the bag beige or tan? Otherwise he's too worldly.

[slickcat79]

Apparently, there is a different inspirational story :roll: on each flavor, demonstrating a Gothard character trait.

Found a pic of the naked cousins lesson in discretion, on the back of the jalapeno chips, here:

facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1156598

And I found creepy stalking persuasiveness (on the back of the roasted garlic flavor!):

Ughhhh...I would hate everything about that, starting with the part where some random dude decided to sit next to me on a near-empty bus.

And how exactly is persuasiveness a godly character trait, especially in that context? No way would any fundie daughter tolerate that, and no way would their parents encourage it.

[DGayle]

Uncle Ray goes into a long story about taking his kids to the zoo and watching them (and SAVING them) as they are nearly eaten by a lion, grabbed and dragged by an orangutan and licked by a camel. And all this is a lesson on a Character Trait, ALERTNESS. Uncle Ray praises ALERTNESS (he bolded it each time).

I think it would be better to be alert enough to not let your kids get too near animals like that in the first place.

[salsa]

I wonder if Uncle Ray and Dr. Bronner are related? :D

Everyone who has to have something to read at all times HAS to have a shampoo bottle of Dr. Bonner's in the shower. :lol:

Love the peppermint variety! On a hot, sweaty day, taking a shower with that cooling peppermint is heaven. The scented ones are nice, too. But that testimony is rather interesting, isn't it? :shock: Magic All One.

That said, the soap is very good, a little goes a long way (even the bar soap), and it's certified fair trade. I haven't tried the lip balm

[salsa]

Thanks, Clarinetpower, for starting this thread (and others who've posted more pictures of his chip bag witness). Unfortunately, HUMOR, is not a Gothard trait. HUMOR is used only by people whose lives are so empty as to find threads like this HUMOROUS. Sadly, our senses of HUMOR are leading us down the road to perdition.

[thoughtful]

Found another -- Uncle Ray 'fesses up that he didn't have self control when he was 10:

[thoughtful]

Resourcefulness, Navy style (this one's actually not too bad):