Mormon stories: Benji Schwimmer

[16strong]

I realize that this is pretty lengthy and time-consuming, but I decided to post it anyway, because it is really interesting and worth watching. I am not a fan of the show, but Benji Schwimmer apparently was the winner of one of the early seasons of SYTYCD. He is an openly gay dancer/choreographer, and in the following videos, he shares his perspective as a gay man who grew up in the LDS church. We talk a lot about how fundies might be treated if they came out as lgbt, or how their family and church would react...he answers pretty much all of the questions that come with the territory of ultra-religious communities and homosexuality. Anyways, the total viewtime is around 5 1/2 hours, but again, it's kind of a unique interview. If you don't want to watch all of it, I recommend skipping through to part 3.

 

 

 

 

 

[artmama]

I will definitely put this on my list of things to check out. I haven't seen the show, but I am familiar with Benji, mostly through his father's work.

His father, Buddy Schwimmer, is a legendary West Coast Swing dancer, and is often referred to as the King of Swing. There are a lot of moves in swing dancing that would be considered immodest by some standards, and I have always wondered if they ever got any flack from the LDS church about it.

thanks for posting this.

[Jasmar]

Wow, Benji is gay? I had no idea. I know it was popular to bash him for not being an "artiste" on his season, but he really was, just not in the usually-accepted angsty way. Loved him.

(Boy, I really miss SYTYCD of those days, when it really was more of a dance talent competition)

[Geechee Girl]

(Boy, I really miss SYTYCD of those days, when it really was more of a dance talent competition)

ITA! Season 1 was the most earnest, imo. Benji always pinged for me. I'm glad he found self-acceptance.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

If anyone is interested, I follow mormonspeak and justanotherapostate on instagram and they post stuff like this, real stories from Mormons who were treated badly, along with BOM facts and quotes. It's really interesting. Last night there was a post from someone wiki confessed to his bishop that he had masturbated three times over six months and he was told he was a sex addict and needed a twelve step program.

[Tiger Lily]

Okay, I'll admit to having no life and watching almost all of that third video. First of all, Benji is an extremely nice and sincere guy. Secondly, what he has gone through made me want to cry several times. Finally, that church blows my mind! Why would they give him such conflicting advice? (Telling him it's wrong to indulge in gay sex but it's okay to cuddle and kiss his boyfriend???) How confusing for Benji. And also, to even counsel a gay man to marry a woman is soooo wrong! I cannot believe they don't see how wrong that is. What about the wife he'd marry? Wouldn't she deserve to be completely loved and desired? What about his children? Wouldn't they deserve a dad who would stick around? That is so selfish and wrong. That's not even counting what the man would have to endure living his life as a complete fraud. Then again, when you believe your reward in the afterlife depends on your earthly marriage and family, I can sort of understand the desperation, but still, there are NO excuses to counsel gay men to marry women in the Mormon church. From what Benji said, this isn't an uncommon issue in that church since there are support groups and such.

[lilwriter85]

I will definitely put this on my list of things to check out. I haven't seen the show, but I am familiar with Benji, mostly through his father's work.

His father, Buddy Schwimmer, is a legendary West Coast Swing dancer, and is often referred to as the King of Swing. There are a lot of moves in swing dancing that would be considered immodest by some standards, and I have always wondered if they ever got any flack from the LDS church about it.

thanks for posting this.

From what I've read and heard is that many Mormons are ok with dancing. There are some Mormons who do find various types of dancing to be risque. I watched a documentary called Prom Night In Kansas City. It focused on high schools and teen organizations who put on proms or similar events. The documentary was filmed in the early 2000s. A Mormon teen organization was one of the subjects. They put on a dinner for the teens, but dancing was banned for some reason and I can't remember why it was banned.

[ADoyle90815]

From what I've read and heard is that many Mormons are ok with dancing. There are some Mormons who do find various types of dancing to be risque. I watched a documentary called Prom Night In Kansas City. It focused on high schools and teen organizations who put on proms or similar events. The documentary was filmed in the early 2000s. A Mormon teen organization was one of the subjects. They put on a dinner for the teens, but dancing was banned for some reason and I can't remember why it was banned.

I've also heard that many Mormons are fine with dancing, but some say that unmarried couples should keep a set of scriptures distance at least between them while dancing. I've even heard of dances for unmarried college students held in church gyms where the chaperones break apart people they think are dancing too close.

[nomoxian]

They put on a dinner for the teens, but dancing was banned for some reason and I can't remember why it was banned.

That's really interesting because in many areas LDS/Mormon activities include dancing, or the whole event is a dance. I went to quite a few All Ages Square Dances growing up, and there were also Youth Dances.

[pirouette]

I had to reset my password just so I could log in (after at least a year of just reading) and comment on this!

I came across this interview two years ago... I think I was looking for interviews with SYTYCD contestants, and somehow ended up listening to five hours of Benji talking about Mormonism. I can't say I knew much about Mormonism before then, but since then, I've had a huge fascination with Mormon culture. None of my friends get it at all. I should have figured freejinger would understand.

But in all seriousness, I remember this being such a heartbreaking story. Definitely worth a listen- I did it while cleaning and organizing, so if you don't have five hours to spare, that's an idea. I've known a lot of people who struggled with tensions between their religion and sexuality, but the specifics of growing up Mormon make his story, I think, particularly difficult.

In terms of the dancing, I know a lot of contestants on SYTYCD come from big Utah families (they don't really explicitly say they're Mormon, but it seems like a safe guess) and I think they're always the ballroom and swing dancers. Maybe prom-type dancing is one thing (we had to do the "make room for the holy spirit" thing at church camp, so maybe it's a similar sort of thing for Mormons) but more traditional social dance is fine? I've heard of other uber-religious people putting their kids in things like ballet and Irish step dance, but not letting them near hip-hop or high-school-dance type of dancing.

(If the username didn't give it away, this is a favorite topic of mine.)

[Mum2theRoyalFlush]

In terms of the dancing, I know a lot of contestants on SYTYCD come from big Utah families (they don't really explicitly say they're Mormon, but it seems like a safe guess) and I think they're always the ballroom and swing dancers. Maybe prom-type dancing is one thing (we had to do the "make room for the holy spirit" thing at church camp, so maybe it's a similar sort of thing for Mormons) but more traditional social dance is fine? I've heard of other uber-religious people putting their kids in things like ballet and Irish step dance, but not letting them near hip-hop or high-school-dance type of dancing.

(If the username didn't give it away, this is a favorite topic of mine.)

I have lived in Utah since I was 7. I have taught several contestants on SYTYCD in school. Mormon kids can dance to any kind of music. There isn't a restriction on music or dance styles. Many, many kids dance here. All four of my kids dance. 3 take ballroom lessons, 2 of those also take clogging to work on footwork. 3 of my nieces also dance contemporary-interpretive dance and drill. Usually, they dance to regular pop/alternate/etc. music. There are so many dance studios around this area (I live on the Wasatch Front) that you can find studios standing next to one another.

Mormons do have youth (or what they call Stake) dances. Normal music is played. The music tends to be cleaner than what is played at a high school dance, but still, normal top 100 music.

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

I loved watching Benji on SYTYCD- IIRC he auditioned with his cousin and was very supportive of her throughout the season. He was such a sweet and genuinely caring guy.