Wanting the Married to Live Close By

[LongDogMom]

I know Jim Bob has said in the past that they want all the kids to stay close by even after they marry. Do you think it's so they can keep them more isolated and restrict access and exposure to normal life and normal people. It seems like Josh and Anna have had more exposure to *normals* since they moved. I wonder if Jim-Bob and Michelle are worried that such exposure will lead to them questioning the belief system and/or wanting to do things differently. I wonder how they would react if one of the kids married, moved away and decided to let their kids go to a secular school, or maybe one of the girls decides to go to university as a mature student and get a degree. Do you think they'd be shunned? Seems like JB likes to have all the control and wanting them close by means he can wield control...plus Michelle can drop off her little ones.

[Cats B4 Quivers]

I think that is precisely why JimBoob and J'uterus want the married children close to them: control. I recall reading something about the Headship was not just in charge of his wife, his wife's breeding bits, and his unmarried children but also of the married sons' families as well. To ensure the flawed messages of ignorance keep on rocking.

Although JimBoob won't have official control over Jill because Derick is her new headship, I'm sure he's figuring out financial ways to keep a tight leash on them. I truly hope Derick (and JIll) resist with power of 10,000 suns.

[lilith]

JimBob has said that part of their plan for the property their home is on is that the kids can build homes there when they marry. That, along with Derick getting a job locally and moving into a Duggar owned home and Ben moving into the area just to court (and I bet he's in Josh's old home) says a lot about JimBob's perception of leave and cleave.

[16strong]

I will be interested to see how Jim Bob retains control when he is up there in age and all 19 kids are married. Is he going to sit there all day at his desk running through specialized Excel charts to decide which of his children need to be manipulated that day and how? :roll:

[Sundaymorning]

I will be interested to see how Jim Bob retains control when he is up there in age and all 19 kids are married. Is he going to sit there all day at his desk running through specialized Excel charts to decide which of his children need to be manipulated that day and how? :roll:

You know, the Duggars might realise pretty soon that one of the disadvantages for them to have so many children is that you can't possibly control them all once they grow up.

Josh is already pretty much out of their reach, as he makes new friends, connections an experiences in DC. He might never leave fundiedom completely, but I can see him becoming fundie-lite and a bit more "worldy" in general.

And as for their other kids, they simply won't have the time to control all of them all of the time. And they might have their children brainwashed, but I doubt that they, especially with the yonger ones, have the kind of personal connection to them that would make the children stay close to them forever.

[LongDogMom]

You know, the Duggars might realise pretty soon that one of the disadvantages for them to have so many children is that you can't possibly control them all once they grow up.

It'll be really interesting when the young ones all hit the teen years. I suspect that there will be some rebels in there then. As was said, the young ones haven't been indoctrinated as harshly as the older kids were and JB and J'Chelle haven't made the same personal connections to them. Most of the younger kids see the older girls as their parental figures. As the older girls move out, I think it'll be hard for JB and M to step in as parents. I can see the kids not liking that at all and on top of missing their "buddies", I think it'll be a good angry brew bubbling that could explode when puberty hits. The younger kids have seen a little more of real life from being on TV and traveling, getting to go to cities for interviews, etc. They haven't been as isolated and sheltered as the older kids who were heavily brainwashed imo.

Ironically, of the little ones, Josie probably got the most attention, but I think she's the most spoiled as well from having everyone dote on her due to her medical issues for so long and her firm place as J'chelle's Miracle Baby. I could see her being a big rebel when she hits her teens.

[pega127]

JimBob has said that part of their plan for the property their home is on is that the kids can build homes there when they marry. That, along with Derick getting a job locally and moving into a Duggar owned home and Ben moving into the area just to court (and I bet he's in Josh's old home) says a lot about JimBob's perception of leave and cleave.

Does anyone know if BenBoob lives alone? If he does, why is he allowed? I didn't think a single boy could be trusted to live outside the family home by himself. :naughty:

[It'sFunToRun]

If you live in Arkansas, and you have two kids, and one goes to Texas and the other goes to California, then even on a lower middle class salary it's possible to visit them at least once a year. If you have nineteen kids and they all live in different states, then even with a TLC salary, you're not going have the money and time to visit them all. On this one, I'm gonna say Nut and Nutschelle aren't doing it for control as much as to keep in touch with their children and many, many grandchildren.

[It'sFunToRun]

Does anyone know if BenBoob lives alone? If he does, why is he allowed? I didn't think a single boy could be trusted to live outside the family home by himself. :naughty:

He might masturbate if no one's watching him! Won't someone think of the sperms potential babies he'd be wasting murdering with each ejaculation?

[nst]

JimBob has said that part of their plan for the property their home is on is that the kids can build homes there when they marry. That, along with Derick getting a job locally and moving into a Duggar owned home and Ben moving into the area just to court (and I bet he's in Josh's old home) says a lot about JimBob's perception of leave and cleave.

if he is in Josh's old home - that is just wild for a 19 year old boy

the parties that boy must have

kidding :D

do we know officially if it was JB who made Ben move closer to the compound in order to court Jessa more frequently -hence more people watching etc. etc. ratings, money blah blah

because he is now pictured in practically every group photo of the Duggars outside the compound

he became the child that they have lost aka Jill, and Josh :D - because soon if everyone leaves they can't call it 19 kids and counting anymore because half of them will be missing.

[BrownieMomma]

Here in the Bible belt, of which I presume NW Arkansas is a part, it is not that unusual for parents to buy property with the intent of having their kids build on it. You see quite a few with a nice home and a trailer parked nearby. Sometimes it is the grandparents living in the trailer.

It seems to me that JimBob is a lot emotionally closer to his family of origin than Michelle is to hers. Maybe that is nothing more than Michelle's family just doesn't want to be on TV, while we are all well acquainted with Gp/Gm Duggar, Deanna, and Amy.

I don't think it is all that unusual that Jim Bob would express the idea of having his kids living close by; he may have to grapple with the idea that his children became adults, his sons establish their own headships and his daughters under the headship of her husband.

That concept is all fine and dandy when you are the headship, however it might not be near as fun as the kids age out of it. I'm sure Jim Bob will have some struggle with it and probably try to keep control financially. Hopefully the girl's husbands will be strong men who can resist the Duggar/TLC kool aid.

[utter solitude]

Here in the Bible belt, of which I presume NW Arkansas is a part, it is not that unusual for parents to buy property with the intent of having their kids build on it. You see quite a few with a nice home and a trailer parked nearby. Sometimes it is the grandparents living in the trailer.

It seems to me that JimBob is a lot emotionally closer to his family of origin than Michelle is to hers. Maybe that is nothing more than Michelle's family just doesn't want to be on TV, while we are all well acquainted with Gp/Gm Duggar, Deanna, and Amy.

I don't think it is all that unusual that Jim Bob would express the idea of having his kids living close by; he may have to grapple with the idea that his children became adults, his sons establish their own headships and his daughters under the headship of her husband.

That concept is all fine and dandy when you are the headship, however it might not be near as fun as the kids age out of it. I'm sure Jim Bob will have some struggle with it and probably try to keep control financially. Hopefully the girl's husbands will be strong men who can resist the Duggar/TLC kool aid.

Isn't Moochelle's family in Ohio? Quite a distance from Arkansas, if I'm remembering correctly.

[BrownieMomma]

Isn't Moochelle's family in Ohio? Quite a distance from Arkansas, if I'm remembering correctly.

Are they in Ohio? I can't remember where they are. If they are, how did J&M meet, because wasn't M still in high school? I know they met because Michelle got saved and JB went on the visitation, at least that's what I remember. I am thinking Michelle was 15? Maybe I've got this part all wrong lol.

[utter solitude]

Are they in Ohio? I can't remember where they are. If they are, how did J&M meet, because wasn't M still in high school? I know they met because Michelle got saved and JB went on the visitation, at least that's what I remember. I am thinking Michelle was 15? Maybe I've got this part all wrong lol.

The family moved from Arkansas to Ohio. They traveled there for Michelle's family reunion in an early episode.

patheos.com/blogs/faithgoespop/2013/06/michelle-duggars-sister-kathie-died-will-we-see-it-on-the-show/

I'm sure Michelle is/was close to her family, but the distance make it difficult, and there's longstanding speculation her family doesn't agree with their lifestyle.

[Sundaymorning]

if he is in Josh's old home - that is just wild for a 19 year old boy

the parties that boy must have

kidding :D

do we know officially if it was JB who made Ben move closer to the compound in order to court Jessa more frequently -hence more people watching etc. etc. ratings, money blah blah

because he is now pictured in practically every group photo of the Duggars outside the compound

he became the child that they have lost aka Jill, and Josh :D - because soon if everyone leaves they can't call it 19 kids and counting anymore because half of them will be missing.

It might be a move from Boob to make Ben even more dependent on him. I mean really, what does this guy do all day? Does he have a real job? Is he going to some kind of school? Not that I know of. So how does he want to support Jessa and their children if they ever get married?

[Four is Enough]

I live in the midAtlantic region, specifically, Baltimore, MD. It is quite common in the urban areas to see family offshoots living under several roofs (rooves?) in the same neighborhoods. Grandparents, aunts, cousins, kids, grandkids.. so I don't see that as sinister on JB's part. (*I*, myself, live 90 miles away from my family of origin. For a reason.)

[Mama Mia]

Don't all parents want their adult children and their families to live nearby, ideally?

I live in an area with a ridiculously high cost of living, so it's hard for young adults to stay - but I don't know anyone who wouldn't dream of having a big old spread of land and the money ( and building permits - how the hell do they get the building permits??) to build homes for grown kids.

I mean, obviously, some kids will move far away because of careers or their spouses, or they want country vs city or vice versa -- but in an ideal world, hell ya, I would want all my kids nearby.

[Feberin]

Since when Josh and Anna did their "OMG our house is too small let's move" episode the idea of building something on the Duggar property wasn't even mentioned. I don't know if they'll actually end up with many kids living on their land. Of the current couples I think Ben and Jessa are most realistic since they won't have much money and it'll make it easier for one of the other girls to come over and help Jessa out especially if she's as fertile as Michelle.

I believe when Jim Bob mentioned it none of the kids were even 18 yet and everything probably seemed far off in the future. I'm sure now he's realizing that even with lots of brainwashing his children are setting off to create their own lives to at least some degree. I also think TLC money and fame comes into play. If Josh hadn't been able to get the job in DC or had TLC money then he might have had no other choice then build a house on his father's land. I wouldn't be surprised if when the Howlers are getting married and no one really cares about the Duggars plus all the rental houses are already taken they're forced to set up a trailer on Duggar land until they can build their own house. But I don't think even Duggar children don't want to get away at least a little bit.

[RabbitKM]

If my parents had asked me to live in their yard I would have laughed. Being that close would be quite ridiculous, as my parents would then try to control everything. Having kids under that scenario?? Even worse! Personally, living in a different city is ideal. I always tell people that going across the country for college was the best thing, because I was actually able to do my own thing.

Jessa would HATE living that close to her parents. Jill probably wouldn't care though. Josh loved it since it meant less work for him. Anna didn't know what was going on. Jana probably wont have a choice, though.

[Sundaymorning]

I'm not saying that Boob has only sinister motives like manipulating and ruling over his children forever when he says that he bought enough land so the kids can build their own houses there, next to the Duggar compound.

He surely would truly miss them if everyone would live far away from them.

However, I think it's pretty clear that keeping them under his control is also a major factor. Especially since the Duggars have so much to lose at this point. With TLC and the public but also within their ATI/fundie circle.

I think a Duggar kid doing his own wordly thing or, even worse, speaking out how much the ATI and growing up Duggar truly suck, would be J'Chelles and Boobs (and the ATIs) worst nightmare.

[N The Prayer Closet]

Jim Bob is definitely going to try very hard to keep all of the kids close. I was shocked and disappointed to see that Jill and Derick stayed so close to her parents but 1) Derick's mother is sick and he wants to be near her and 2) damn, their house is incredibly nice. I hope Derick influences some of the other Duggars to travel abroad and be long term missionaries--no more of this 2 weeks-in-el-Salvador-vacation-crap. Can you imagine Josiah and Jana taking off to Nepal for 2 years? It would be freaking awesome.

[Sundaymorning]

If the Duggars were a "normal" family where the parents have a healthy relationship with their children and know when it's time to back off and let them live their own life, it would be no problem if the kids would stay close to them geographically. Like posters mentioned before, that's not unusual for adults to stay close to the area where they grew up. And there is nothing wrong with that. And since Derick mother is so ill, I think it's completely understandable that he wants to be close to her.

The problem with the Duggars however is that they are members of a cult and staying close to the Duggar compound lowers the chances of the children to ever be able to live an independent adults life significantly.

That's why I'm hoping that as many children as possible get far away from the Duggar compound and Boobs and especially J'Chelles insanity.

[RosyDaisy]

Confession: I live about 1/4 mile from my dad, my sister lives next door. We are all very close, but we don't keep tabs on each other. Of course that's not unusual when you live in the rural South.

[utter solitude]

My two friend who are brother and sister live in the same apartment complex, about a thirty second walk around a corner from each other. They're about two miles from their parents. Hell, they do their laundry their every Sunday.

Both are looking for new apartments... together. As in, somewhere they can continue to live extremely close to each other and still be very close to their parents. It's pretty average in my area.

[LongDogMom]

Confession: I live about 1/4 mile from my dad, my sister lives next door. We are all very close, but we don't keep tabs on each other. Of course that's not unusual when you live in the rural South.

I want to clarify that I don't personally have any problem with adult kids living close to their parents if they want to and the relationships are healthy and good. I hope my own boys choose to settle down close to us so I can be a big part of my grandkids lives (if we are lucky enough to live long enough to see any grandkids). But our kids are strongwilled and mature and make their own choices in their lives. We may be there to listen if they want to discuss things that happening or decisions they are facing, but ultimately they make the choices themselves.

The Duggars, however, are soooo rigid in their belief system that I wonder if wanting the married couples to stay close is to make sure they can keep them drinking the kool-aid and continue to keep them away from the "bad influences" of the real world. It feels like it's more about control and ensuring they tow the party line than just enjoying their kids.