CLASSIC fundie 101 (Kendalyn Stadden, start us off)

[antwan]

Oh my, just threw back and read Robert and Kendalyn's wedding page. It's rich with fundie indoctrination, like this gem...

All through my life, a common thread of lessons have involved obedience to my heavenly Father through my earthly father no matter the cost; this happened when I wanted to get into medical school and my father had a caution [uh hem :angry-banghead: :cray-cray: ] so I ended up taking my Home Health degree through correspondence (which was the best training I could have ever received!);

Um, naaaaturally she ended up at home. :angry-banghead:

And then, this...

Dad and Mama received a call from the International ALERT Academy, asking if I would be interested in serving as a counselor for the other young ladies on campus. Much to my astonishment, Mama and Dad were in favor of the opportunity. I went to the Lord in prayer and He confirmed that this was His direction. Really? Me? Where was the medical field I’ve dreamed about since I was a child?

:pull-hair:

So there you have it, fundie 101. Obey your authority, remain at home, give up your dreams, marry, have babies, rinse and repeat to the Nth degree.

http://robertloveskendalyn.com/kendalyn/

Would love to hear more CLASSIC examples. Next?

[twin2]

Wasn't this the one who melted down her purity ring to make her husbands wedding ring?

[Jana814]

Oh my!! Is this how all Fundie girls r raised. So sad that this girl couldn't follow what she wanted & go to medical school.

[salex]

Each of my husband's two brothers talked a daughter out of medical school. Both would count as fundie lightish-- sort of, with some very weird details tossed in (seminary, ordination, affair, divorce, no church again for 15 years, suddenly more fundie than ever)

First instance, they had people from the church come and talk to smart daughter about how being a doctor would make it impossible for her to care for the children she no doubt wanted--he married her off early, she finally went to nursing school, worked a hideous schedule (would have had better hours as a doctor) and eventually is doing something else--but is working at least as much as she would have as a physician.

Second instance, cheap son of a bitch brother in law was talking his brilliant daughter out of a career in medicine, not because she should stay home with kids (he's not a huge fan of many/any kids) but because she had such a kind heart, she'd have likely worked in some field of medicine that would never make her much money--so why waste her time? She's working on a phd in a liberal arts field, and rarely comes home to visit.... but seems very happy.

Why people throw boulders in the paths their children seek is beyond me.

[Snarkle]

If you read Kendalyn's courtship story, it does say she resisted Robert Staddon's advances at first because she wasn't listening to her earthly father (who winnowed down three proposals to one). Is it possible that she had done the good daughter bit over and over, suppressing her own desires in obedience to her father, that by the time Robert came-a-courtin' she finally just snapped and resisted (even if it was subconsciously)? From all of the fundie blogs I've read, Kendalyn seemed to have the biggest dreams and seemed to accept single service, yet still buckled under when obedience was called for. Maybe she is just more honest? I know her testimony is written to show young girls that no matter what you want, your heavenly father and earthly father (as she calls them) know best, but in a way it just comes off as no matter what she actually wanted in her life, it was ultimately out of her hands.

Anyone know of similar fundie dreams crushed?

[uber frau]

They're not women, but bot Christopher Maxwell and one of the Morton boys (the one married to Kressant, I think) had a 'change of heart' after their respective fathers gave them a talking to about their career goals.

Both of them had dreams that would be considered honourable in most conservative Christian families but the thought of a Maxwell son possibly having to work with a female (or, gasp, having to do chest compressions on a woman), and the thought of a Morton escaping the headship of his father was too much for either Patriarse. So Chris became a computer programmer and a lousy photographer, rather than an paramedic, and Michael(? ) jnr became, we'll, I don't know what he does other than impregnating his wife every year or so. I think he works for his father. He didn't become a missionary anyway.

[salex]

Didn't we recently have a thread on a girl who announced at her graduation party that instead of going on to study music, as her piano teacher had suggested, she was going to stay home and study on her own?

THen there was the girl whose mom was having her take a GED instead of an SAT?

L. Ron Cupboard said his daughter(s) would never go to college, and likely not his sons.

[acheronbeach]

Honestly, I always thought her "I was going to be a doctor" story was more embellishment than reality - a PR job for Gothard. How intellectual could she really be? I mean she's a Canadian, and yet she publicly posted that "LaVerle" was French for "truth".

[Sweetpea1]

Wasn't this the one who melted down her purity ring to make her husbands wedding ring?

I'm going to go with George Takai -Oh My....... .

[Jana814]

Wasn't this the one who melted down her purity ring to make her husbands wedding ring?

That's nuts!!!

[uber frau]

Honestly, I always thought her "I was going to be a doctor" story was more embellishment than reality - a PR job for Gothard. How intellectual could she really be? I mean she's a Canadian, and yet she publicly posted that "LaVerle" was French for "truth".

I think she actually said that she wanted to work 'in the medical field', not specifically that she wanted to be a doctor. I took her to mean something like nursing-We have 2 levels of nursing in Australia, the uni trained RNs (3-4 years, many of them are a BSc), or Enrolled Nurses who technical college trained (2 years, restricted licenses so they can't do everything but still definitely qualified as a nurse.) I saw her aiming to be an EN. As long as you have a School Leaver's Certificate and a good helping of common sense, it's a fairly realistic goal.

I think the point is, though, that she had dreams outside of the fundie box. Her parents knew of those hopes and dreams and made deliberate moves to squash them. Not only did they give her a sub-par education (there's no need getting a real education if her role in life is to make lots of babies), they decided to send her to work in the kitchens at Gothard HQ at a job they knew she detested. I think they wanted to tame her rebelliousness, and wanted her to catch a husband. But they were the ones who decided. It was her job just to bow her head and say yes.

[16strong]

These poor girls have no idea how much their family manipulates them. Erin Johnson is a prime example of this. Her ex-fiance, Lewis Wells has a blog in which he details (most) of the situation. Incredibly sad. And the thing is, these girls have no concept of the fact that even "perfect" and "godly" people can still be wrong. Something I learned in college is that even the people I trusted most for advice could still [often] be wrong. Always trust your own instinct, no matter how good someone else's advice may be.

The problem with fundamentalism is that it espouses the belief that if someone is "godly" enough and not sinning, then God will not allow anything bad to surround them, and they will be perfect microphones of God that can be trusted by all. These girls can't comprehend that their family could possibly NOT have their best interests at heart and only want to control them. In fact, the "genius" of fundamentalism is that the kids are brought up to believe that they are under the "authority" and control of their father, because he is spoken to directly by God. Therefore, the concept of control will only ever have a positive connotation for them. They equate control with "godly" protection, not ever realizing that the two are not the same. To a fundie, the word control as we know it doesn't exist. It cannot be comprehended (or very rarely).

I mean, being brought up to believe that because your parents are "godly," doubting them is equal to doubting the supreme ruler of the universe (that can also send anyone to hell at will)? Insane. The jungle of manipulation is so incredible that it is amazing any of these kids can escape.

[paintergurl]

I spent hours one evening reading Lewis' story. It was stunning in its depiction of all that is wrong with the whole courtship model. So sad. And infuriating that his beloved never was able to see what her dictatorial asshat father was doing to her.

[Howl]

I spent hours one evening reading Lewis' story. It was stunning in its depiction of all that is wrong with the whole courtship model. So sad. And infuriating that his beloved never was able to see what her dictatorial asshat father was doing to her.

Just went to the Lewis Wells blog and wow, just WOW. I too will be setting aside an evening to read this. From the brief reading I did, he has nicely deconstructed the dysfunction in the hyper controlling patriarchal paradigm.

[Snarkle]

I think she actually said that she wanted to work 'in the medical field', not specifically that she wanted to be a doctor. I took her to mean something like nursing-We have 2 levels of nursing in Australia, the uni trained RNs (3-4 years, many of them are a BSc), or Enrolled Nurses who technical college trained (2 years, restricted licenses so they can't do everything but still definitely qualified as a nurse.) I saw her aiming to be an EN. As long as you have a School Leaver's Certificate and a good helping of common sense, it's a fairly realistic goal.

I think the point is, though, that she had dreams outside of the fundie box. Her parents knew of those hopes and dreams and made deliberate moves to squash them. Not only did they give her a sub-par education (there's no need getting a real education if her role in life is to make lots of babies), they decided to send her to work in the kitchens at Gothard HQ at a job they knew she detested. I think they wanted to tame her rebelliousness, and wanted her to catch a husband. But they were the ones who decided. It was her job just to bow her head and say yes.

From her story on their blog:

"All through my life, a common thread of lessons have involved obedience to my heavenly Father through my earthly father no matter the cost; this happened when I wanted to get into medical school and my father had a caution so I ended up taking my Home Health degree through correspondence (which was the best training I could have ever received!)"

So helpful that her father had a "caution" about medical school, which she might have done well at. Although I wonder with an ATI education would this actually have been possible without some sort of supplemental education? Perhaps her father was trying to actually protect her because she wasn't prepared for such a career? Oh wait, nah, he was just being patriarchal. She could have actually helped more people outside of her direct family if she'd even been able to actually then use her home health "degree," but nah again. Off to the kitchens to learn something new! Well, at least she's had more large-scale homemaker training than most between her health and kitchen experiences.

[uber frau]

Oh, okay. I missed that.

I think it's pretty hard to assess the academic potential of most fundies. Any innate curiosity and desire to engage in the world that doesn't get beaten out during early childhood gets starved on a steady diet of SODRT curricula. (And that's presuming they're getting schooling at all.)

I'm doing a bio-med course at the moment. Between the fact that I've forgotten way too much chemistry and the fact that I'm also trying to parent a couple of kids, I'm struggling to be honest. But that's nothing compared to what it would be if I hadn't had a decent high school education. I doubt ATId grads would even pass the uni entrance exams (and the mature age entry exams are pretty pathetic, tbh).

[Snarkle]

Eh, I'm probably just being pedantic about it because it made me angry to read her story some time ago and see how even an interest in something was taken away from her. I think she truly loves her daughters, but it seems like something is missing with her. Not sure if it's because of her husband's relationship with Pecan Thief or his relation to IBLP and her previous work with IBLP or if it's because she never really got to choose anything for herself, but it seems like something's slightly off.