Married Couple finds out they are brother & sister

[Maggie Mae]

God wanted it to happen.

www.christiantoday.com/article/married. ... /39406.htm

[doggie]

Always ok if god wants it. Since god dies not care if his leaders rape kids it does not mean much to me.

[utter solitude]

"Common-law marriage". Gah, I hate when people in that situation treat it like an actual marriage. You didn't sign any paperwork or have a ceremony, you're just shacking up! Nothing wrong with shacking up, but it's not the same as a marriage.

End rant!

[lawfulevil]

Eww, she married her first husband at 14.

[Coco]

“Yeah, well, I think that chromosome pool is about dried up†(from the movie Rango)

[tralala]

"Common-law marriage". Gah, I hate when people in that situation treat it like an actual marriage. You didn't sign any paperwork or have a ceremony, you're just shacking up! Nothing wrong with shacking up, but it's not the same as a marriage.

End rant!

The legal paperwork and ceremony are nice, but when you're in it for the long haul, its not exactly necessary. Sometimes buying a house or having kids is all the commitment the couple needs. My aunt is not legally married to my uncle, but they've been together 17 years-ish. That's longer than my own parents (who were legally married) were together. They've been through thick and thin together and are as good as married as anyone who signed some paperwork and threw an elaborate party. Some people just don't feel the need to do it, and it's okay. Broaden your horizons a bit ;)

Not so much as to think incest is okay, because that's all kinds of effed up. But don't go knocking common-law relationships. Especially when many Americans still struggle to actually get to go through with legal marriage as it is.

[DaffyDill]

I actually think having a child with someone can be a bigger committment than marriage. If two people are married, and things don't work out, they can get a divorce, anulment, whatever, and once all debts and property are divvied up, as long as there are no children, they need never see one another or have any contact again.

Have a child with someone though, and whether you are married or not, you have a connection to that person for the rest of your life. Even when the child is an adult, there are family get togethers, shared grandchildren etc. at which you both may be included.

[It'sFunToRun]

Honestly, I don't think this is gross, and I'm glad that they found love. I hate the argument "incest should be forbidden because their kids might be deformed." That's hypocritical unless you also believe that anyone whose potential children might be deformed shouldn't be allowed to have children. A woman in her late forties has a bigger chance of a deformed child than siblings do.

There is something called the Westermarck effect which causes you to not be attracted to people you know from birth to age six (so this generally means close family members). From Wikipedia:

{L_OFFTOPIC} :

In the case of the Israeli kibbutzim (collective farms), children were reared somewhat communally in peer groups, based on age, not biological relation. A study of the marriage patterns of these children later in life revealed that out of the nearly 3,000 marriages that occurred across the kibbutz system, only fourteen were between children from the same peer group. Of those fourteen, none had been reared together during the first six years of life. This result suggests that the Westermarck effect operates during the period from birth to the age of six.

In most cases of incest, the two partners were raised apart, which to me takes the ick out of it.

[Guest]

The legal paperwork and ceremony are nice, but when you're in it for the long haul, its not exactly necessary. Sometimes buying a house or having kids is all the commitment the couple needs. My aunt is not legally married to my uncle, but they've been together 17 years-ish. That's longer than my own parents (who were legally married) were together. They've been through thick and thin together and are as good as married as anyone who signed some paperwork and threw an elaborate party. Some people just don't feel the need to do it, and it's okay. Broaden your horizons a bit ;)

Not so much as to think incest is okay, because that's all kinds of effed up. But don't go knocking common-law relationships. Especially when many Americans still struggle to actually get to go through with legal marriage as it is.

I don't think OP is knocking any kind of relationship, I just don't understand why the articles are calling them a married couple when they aren't... I guess "committed couple with a child are siblings" doesn't have the same ring to it, but they're not married. It's just a weird thing to say.

[BrownieMomma]

I live in a common law state. Maybe that means something different in Brazil, but in my US state, common law married is married. Period. You have to meet certain tests, if you common law marry then you have all the same rights as someone who went to the courthouse and filed the paperwork. You also must go to court to divorce, although many people do have the misconception that they can just walk out of a common law situation as easily as they walked into it.

You can also shack up for years and if you don't meet the tests correctly, then you are not married.

[keen23]

My husband's first cousins have kids together. Like their Dads are all brothers, and all have different Mothers. But it when they got together it was, well, not good? The male cousin got the female pregnant for the first time when she was 17 and he was 24. They are still together and "isn't it great that we already have the same last name?" The whole relationship is squicky. It's not like they didn't know they were cousins, they were raised together. Add to that statutory rape (but consensual sex), it's just awful. They have two kids together.

[utter solitude]

I am not knocking any sort of relationship, I am balking at the choice of words. I know the situation can be different in different places, but I certainly don't feel I need to "broaden my horizons" :whistle: Any relationship can be loving and committed, and you don't need to go through any ceremony for it, but I do find it odd and irksome when people apply the "marriage" label in cases where no hoops have been jumped through. For me, and YMMV, "marriage" requires a commitment and some hoops :D Like what Brownie explained.

While common law marriage is no longer a thing in my state, it was incredibly easy to move in and out of. My sister was in one, and neither she nor her common law husband had much respect for the idea, or each other.*

I guess my personal hang up is with the label and my personal feelings around it, which I freely admit to. I'm not a fan of just assigning "marriage" to just any pairing.

*I admit to bias based on this, but, as I've said, I'm not knocking any relationships.

Rant over, back to the topic: I can't even imagine the hell involved in finding out you're related to the person you're with and have children with. Or the hell involved for the children.

[2xx1xy1JD]

My husband's first cousins have kids together. Like their Dads are all brothers, and all have different Mothers. But it when they got together it was, well, not good? The male cousin got the female pregnant for the first time when she was 17 and he was 24. They are still together and "isn't it great that we already have the same last name?" The whole relationship is squicky. It's not like they didn't know they were cousins, they were raised together. Add to that statutory rape (but consensual sex), it's just awful. They have two kids together.

Well, we get to host Awkward Family Dinner tonight. Here's how Girl 1 first realized that there was something strange going on:

We're visiting grandma's uncle, right?

Yes.

So that woman who just walked in is grandma's cousin, right?

Yes.

Isn't that man grandma's brother?

Yes.

So they are cousins?

Yes.

Why are they kissing and holding hands?

Oh dear. Just remember that grandma is NOTHING LIKE the rest of her family.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Re calling common-law relationships marriage:

Legally speaking, YMMV according to whatever state or country you are in.

In some places, living together in a committed relationship and/or having kids together IS defined as marriage, ceremony or not.

In some places, you need a wedding ceremony to be considered married.

And in some places (like where I live), the law is weird and treats common-law couples exactly the same as legally married couples for some things (like support) but not others (like property).

[Firiel]

I think I've read of similar situations before (I think the two were half-siblings in the other case), and I just find stories like this very sad.

Obviously, the couple did nothing wrong or "gross" on purpose. They didn't know they were siblings. And now they are committed to each other AND have a child together and find out that they are siblings, which is one of the BIGGEST taboos ever. I can't think of a culture that doesn't see sibling relationships as taboo. So what do they do now? Break up their family and leave the person they have come to love? Or stay together knowing that if the truth comes out it could ruin them? I mean, there doesn't seem to be an option that works out well for them.

[cindyluvs24]

Off topic but I know of two women who were identical twins. Both got married. Twin A died and twin B got divorced. Twin A's widower marries Twin B.

[Coco]

I think I've read of similar situations before (I think the two were half-siblings in the other case), and I just find stories like this very sad.

Obviously, the couple did nothing wrong or "gross" on purpose. They didn't know they were siblings. And now they are committed to each other AND have a child together and find out that they are siblings, which is one of the BIGGEST taboos ever. I can't think of a culture that doesn't see sibling relationships as taboo. So what do they do now? Break up their family and leave the person they have come to love? Or stay together knowing that if the truth comes out it could ruin them? I mean, there doesn't seem to be an option that works out well for them.

well if they weren't raised together as brother and sister it's a little less weird. They could just commit to no more children. Technically don't fundies say we all came from Adam? :lol: (some people say God created more peeps so that Adam and Eve's children didn't intermarry, or there were angels who married people, etc. etc. Logic in Genesis gets a free pass).

[Geechee Girl]

This reminds me of an episode of House, M.D. where young newlyweds who were star-crossed neighbors come to find out they shared a father.

[twinmama]

Honestly, I don't think this is gross, and I'm glad that they found love. I hate the argument "incest should be forbidden because their kids might be deformed." That's hypocritical unless you also believe that anyone whose potential children might be deformed shouldn't be allowed to have children. A woman in her late forties has a bigger chance of a deformed child than siblings do.

There is something called the Westermarck effect which causes you to not be attracted to people you know from birth to age six (so this generally means close family members). From Wikipedia:

{L_OFFTOPIC} :

In the case of the Israeli kibbutzim (collective farms), children were reared somewhat communally in peer groups, based on age, not biological relation. A study of the marriage patterns of these children later in life revealed that out of the nearly 3,000 marriages that occurred across the kibbutz system, only fourteen were between children from the same peer group. Of those fourteen, none had been reared together during the first six years of life. This result suggests that the Westermarck effect operates during the period from birth to the age of six.

In most cases of incest, the two partners were raised apart, which to me takes the ick out of it.

Agreed. And doesn't it take multiple generations of inbreeding to produce real deformities? One set of siblings getting married and reproducing isn't likely to cause horrific results. I'm not saying everyone should marry siblings or anything, but the random grew up apart never knew each other situation really isn't as disgusting/horrific/whatever to me as a lot of stories make it out to be.

[Toothfairy]

"Common-law marriage". Gah, I hate when people in that situation treat it like an actual marriage. You didn't sign any paperwork or have a ceremony, you're just shacking up! Nothing wrong with shacking up, but it's not the same as a marriage.

End rant!

Do states recognized this? I don't think my state does. I don't understand why some people just won't make it legal. It's much more easier for just in case moments.

[Chowder Head]

In the article I could not find if the couple had the same father. So if they have the same mom and different dad that your looking at maybe 25% dna relation. Which really isn't a issue for breeding.

http://genetics.thetech.org/ask-a-genet ... nt-related

[Trynn]

I used to always wonder if divorce would be ok in that situation. God hates divorce, but surely god would also hate a brother and sister bein married together? (I always assumed they wouldn't know they were related before they were married.)

It used to really worry me if the couple would be doomed to hell no matter what.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Lots of states recognize common law marriage. If you meet the criteria (live together with a commitment as a husband and wife would) then a split can be just as acrimonious as a divorce. Legally a spouse would be entitled to half the assets and also should one spouse die, their estate.

[utter solitude]

I used to always wonder if divorce would be ok in that situation. God hates divorce, but surely god would also hate a brother and sister bein married together? (I always assumed they wouldn't know they were related before they were married.)

It used to really worry me if the couple would be doomed to hell no matter what.

Looking at this couple in particular (I was curious), they have to get a legal divorce, as Brazil considers them common law married (even tho they are not legally married) (My own feelings on that aside, it sucks that they have to go through a legal hoop to get out of it when they didn't need one to get into it!)

"Under Brazilian law, a couple considered to be in a common law marriage is legally accountable and must file for divorce even if they have never been legally married."

I would say that God would forgive them, at least in most reasonable religions, and they can repent.

But the psychological trauma for them and their family is just fucking awful.

[tropaka]

Do states recognized this? I don't think my state does. I don't understand why some people just won't make it legal. It's much more easier for just in case moments.

Well, "some" of us people believe that common law marriage, despite not having some of the legal protections of civil marriage, is enough considering we share children and a commitment to each other and we don't need a piece of paper or a party to confirm that. The government still considers me married in terms of taxes, so there you go...mind you I"m no married to my brother. What a predicament.