My Parents Open Carry -- children's gun book

[thoughtful]

Thanks to Steven Colbert for alerting me to this bit of deathless prose. Or maybe not so deathless! :shock:

bustle.com/articles/34487-my-parents-open-carry-the-pro-gun-childrens-book-we-didnt-know-we-needed

http://jezebel.com/nightmarish-children ... 1615755421

[OkToBeTakei]

Guns are just fine. Ebola not so much.

Hmmm? Which kills more?

I seriously just can't with some people.

[doggie]

n 2011, over 3 times more people were shot and killed in an argument (1,948) than are shot and killed in gang violence (619).

Argument killings outpaced killings that occurred during felonies (1,271) which included the categories of rape, robbery, burglary, larceny-theft, motor vehicle theft, arson, prostitution, sex offenses, narcotics, gambling and more.

Argument killings were the single highest known cause of homicide.

And this is one reason why I believe that more guns = more homicide, because people in the heat of emotion and rage cannot control their impulse to strike out. And when they have a gun, their ability to strike with lethal force is enhanced.

We can't control whether people get into arguments. We can influence—as demonstrated by other countries—the weapon they reach for in the heat of one.

[DaffyDill]

I just don't, and never will, understand the obsession some Americans have with having guns. I've heard lots of arguments for guns, but nup. Doesn't compute. Don't get it. :cray-cray:

[Coco]

I think they used FLDS Barbies as models for the cover drawing.

That video advertisement for the book. :lol:

First, cheery piano music. Then it zooms into the pavement on a crowded street, similar to jumping off a building :doh:

then this gem of a photo...

i get it that whoever wrote that book is just trying to help parents teach gun safety to their children. But why even carry a gun openly when you are around children in a casual setting? It won't be long before we hear about kid injuries, with this much exposure to guns. :pull-hair:

It's not the nice polite people who tend to open carry. It's usually the belligerent, trigger happy folks.

[DaffyDill]

I think they used FLDS Barbies as models for the cover drawing.

The surname of one of the authors is Jeffs... :shock:

[Coco]

The surname of one of the authors is Jeffs... :shock:

:lol: another layer of creepy.

[DaffyDill]

:lol: another layer of creepy.

:twisted:

[PennySycamore]

Apparently there's some great snark in the comments on Amazon.

[Toothfairy]

I just don't, and never will, understand the obsession some Americans have with having guns. I've heard lots of arguments for guns, but nup. Doesn't compute. Don't get it. :cray-cray:

To feel safer. Or it says it in the 2nd amendment. I hate people who are for guns but aginst everything else. Hypocrites.

[Antigone]

this is just weird :( plus, open carrying just seems a bit extreme. Sometimes I see photos of those people handling the gun improperly and get nervous that they will accidentically shoot someone,or a child will get ahold of the trigger. but that's probably me overthinking things. :think:

[Maggie Mae]

I'm a gun owner and I think this is super weird. I'd love for people to stop proving the stereotype that people who care about the 2nd amendment are all crazy people who love guns and think they are needed for self defense.

[ThisOlGirl]

Where do these people live that they feel they need to be strapped just to run errands? I've never lived in/visited a place like that (speaking strictly about the U.S.).

[shedemei]

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Parents-Open-Carr ... 1618081012

The excerpt is only one page because the book's so short, but that page contains a typo and some bad writing.

The Strong family consists of Richard Strong, his wife Bea and their 13 year old daughter, Brenna. The Strong family live in a modest home in a medium-sized town in the Midwest.

One morning, Brenna was sleeping and dreaming dreams only a 13 year old girl would dream, when she heard he [sic] mom say…"Brenna…honey…wake up".

Spellbinding.

I love the customer images section, in which someone made the lily-white family a bit darker:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-media ... e_all_img0

My favorite review so far:

There is a war raging in the United States. Those who are opposed argue that using it implies a lack of seriousness, a lack of education, and a flouting of social mores. Those who love it are more rabid about its appropriateness in all situations, wanting to show it off in restaurants, coffee shops, and even the library. Whether it's used at work to passive-aggressively tell a co-worker to stop eating your leftovers or it's used in the neighborhood to generate interest so the kids will come to a birthday party, those on the pro side completely ignore study after study that scientifically show that its use just isn't a good idea.

Am I talking about using a gun? No. I'm talking about Comic Sans. This book is typeset in COMIC SANS. For the love of all that is good and pure, Mr. Jeffs, if you don't want your ideas about open carry to sound crazy, how about you write about it in a legible font that went out with Windows 95?

[shedemei]

Where do these people live that they feel they need to be strapped just to run errands? I've never lived in/visited a place like that (speaking strictly about the U.S.).

They live in a mental environment where they feel the need to be powerful.

Almost none of them live somewhere remotely dangerous, at least if you're white (as the vast majority of these people are).

[Marianne]

Reason number 1 why I want to go to the USA but will never do it...

[thoughtful]

Reason number 1 why I want to go to the USA but will never do it...

I've lived in the US for almost 6 decades, and have never seen a gun anywhere but in a police officer's holster.

Don't forget what a huge, varied country it is -- we're really not all like that.

[Terrie]

I think they used FLDS Barbies as models for the cover drawing.

That video advertisement for the book. :lol:

First, cheery piano music. Then it zooms into the pavement on a crowded street, similar to jumping off a building :doh:

then this gem of a photo...

reno-911-lt-dangle.jpg[/attachment]

Actually, it's not about gun safety. It's about explaining to kids how great guns are and that the reason mommy and daddy have one is because the world is a dangerous, dangerous place and they need to be ready to shot someone at a moment's notice.

[thoughtful]

Here's the Colbert Report segment on the book:

http://thecolbertreport.cc.com/videos/e ... ailblazers

[CoatRack]

If anyone is just desperate to read this, hit me up via pm.

[shedemei]

I read the damn thing. It's like a Moody book with guns.

Richard, Bea, and Brenna are your stereotypically WASPy American Everymen. They live in "a modest home in a medium-sized town in the Midwest." They wear boring clothes that the author describes in detail. Today they're going to the bookstore (to shop for books!) and some manner of surprise trip for Brenna.

Before they leave the house, they make sure to complete the "ritual the always followed before they left the house" by strapping loaded guns to their hips.

Brenna is comforted, because her parents have the responsibility to protect her, and "a person that doesn't take on the responsibility for their own safety was not being true to nature's law." Why don't people realize this? So strange.

Their neighbor congratulates them for "packin' as usual."

They go to a hardware store because her father needs to buy nails for the bird house he's building. Children are scared by her parents' packin' but that's because they don't listen to reason.

For the second time, we're reminded that "when seconds count, the police are minutes away."

They go to the grocery store where Bea talks about the health benefits of spinach and an army veteran thanks the family for exercising their second amendment rights, which aren't about hunting or self-defense, but for protection against a tyrannical government.

Remember, when the tyrannical government is after you and seconds count, the police are minutes away. Also, canned spinach really is good for you.

Off to the bookstore! Everyone splits up.

A man talks to Brenna's parents about guns. They all agree that it's good to have the option of open or concealed carry. Brenna's dad points out that he's never heard of someone with a displayed weapon being shot in a robbery. Security guards and police aren't people, clearly. Why, Brenna's father once deterred a suspicious looking man from robbing Woodruff's Waffle World just by being present with his gun. The DOJ confirmed through interviews with criminals that guns are deterrents, and you can totally trust the tyrannical government in this case because they're reinforcing something Brenna's dad already believes to be true.

"To increase Brenna's awareness, her dad often tries to sneak up on her to catch her off guard; it's a game they play. If she catches him he has to do the dishes that night." The games he plays with Brenna's mother are left to our imagination.

Random man says he'll give open carry more consideration.

Brenna hangs out with some other teens and talk about how her parents are cool because they carry guns. Brenna's dad talks about how it's easier to pull out your gun in the summer when you're wearing light clothing. Remember that, because you'll have better luck with robbing Woodruff's Waffle World in the winter when Mr and Ms Hero are fumbling for their guns under their jackets while you're knocking the place over.

Hey, remember that special trip? Oh yeah! Off to the shooting range. Brenna wonders why this is special since they go there all the time.

Mr Strong and Mr Freeman discuss the same things everyone else in this book has talked about, because Brenna's parents' role in life is to be open carry missionaries and have no other interests or conversation topics. At this point, Mr Independent, Ms Patriot, and Ms Rand have yet to show up to the party.

Have you guessed what the surprise is yet? It's Brenna's First Gun! When she turns 18 she can own it, but she can shoot it now with her parents. They shoot things and talk about safety for an hour.

Brenna had a great day, realizes that her parents love her, and appreciates how lucky she is that her parents are packin' when they leave the house. Also, that her father likes to scare the shit out of her when she's trying to get her chores done. Maybe she should start open carrying in the house.

Fin.

[shedemei]

Bonus: Brenna's dad is named Richard Strong. Presumably his friends call him by a nickname.

[thoughtful]

I read the damn thing. It's like a Moody book with guns.

:lol: and :shock:

"To increase Brenna's awareness, her dad often tries to sneak up on her to catch her off guard; it's a game they play. If she catches him he has to do the dishes that night."

I hope they never play the game the other way around, what with Dad being armed and so aware that "seconds count."

Also, that her father likes to scare the shit out of her when she's trying to get her chores done. Maybe she should start open carrying in the house.

After thinking about that game leading to Dad shooting her, the possibility of her shooting him was my second thought, now that she'll be armed as well.

What a great lesson for children! :angry-banghead: