Raquel's Insta-Boyfriend

[nausicaa]

Lydia is described as self-willed, careless, ignorant, idle and vain. Which is exactly a description one would give of Raquel. Pride and Prejudice also shows that Lydia ended up this way because her father couldn't be bothered to correct her behavior and would laugh at it and her mother couldn't see how the acting this way would result in disaster and encouraged it. I suspect that Raquel's parents aren't too different than Mr. and Mrs. Bennet and at this point it might be too late for them to prevent Raquel from running off with an modern version of Mr. Wickham since she is legally an adult.

I've always have thought Raquel is a great example of why young people (God, that makes me sound so old) need to have lots of outlets for all of their energy.

When I was nineteen I was also really immature, and I was crazy about boys too, but didn't have social media (thank God) and was too shy for much to happen.

But I also got to go to college, have hobbies, work and save my own money, and have goals and that was so, so helpful in tempering the boy obsession and helping me to figure out who I was and develop self-confidence in my own abilities. If I had just sat at home all day looking at pictures of cavorting couples on Pinterest and staring out the window waiting for a guy to fix everything I was dissatisfied with in my life, who knows what would have happened.

[Firiel]

I thought I remembered reading that Raquel's parents aren't really super fundie-lite and that the super religious stuff was kind of her own thing that her parents kind of rolled their eyes at and accepted.

But I can't remember for sure, so yeah.

[uber frau]

I thought that was Lina.

[Firiel]

You would know better than I would!

[uber frau]

It's possibly both. I only follow Raquel on FJ so I could be way out, but got the impression that her parents were fundie lite but quite keen on her being a SAHM daughter. And that they're not at all encouraging her to grow the hell up.(That incident where she got her parents to talk to her friend's parents when said friend hurt Raquel's feelings spring to mind.)

[onlyme]

There is talk from people she respects more than me, hopefully she'll get a clue and notice some of the red flags for herself. She isn't quite as dimwitted and impulsive as Lydia Bennett. Hopefully when the first blush wears off she'll see it.

I don't snark at her in person, and I've never snarked on her here. I do roll my eyes a bit. She's actually not quite as bad in person as she is online. If I only knew her from her blog I would have a little different picture. I think some of the stuff she says is because it's expected because it's kind of fundy-party-line. I mean, she can be obnoxious, but like I said, she's a teen age girl. I was obnoxious in my own way at that age. She gets a lot of attention from her blog. Even stuff like being asked to help at Christian concerts and stuff, and that's bound to go to a young girls head, at least a little.

ETA Fririel apology totally accepted. I just kind of felt like you were accusing me of lying, and it kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I don't know if there's a name for a mental illness of trolling around the internet pretending to be acquainted with somewhat known fundies but if there is it would have to be a special sort of crazy. :P But I haven't read the Razing Ruth story. It is a strange world, for sure.

[Firiel]

There is talk from people she respects more than me, hopefully she'll get a clue and notice some of the red flags for herself. She isn't quite as dimwitted and impulsive as Lydia Bennett. Hopefully when the first blush wears off she'll see it.

I don't snark at her in person, and I've never snarked on her here. I do roll my eyes a bit. She's actually not quite as bad in person as she is online. If I only knew her from her blog I would have a little different picture. I think some of the stuff she says is because it's expected because it's kind of fundy-party-line. I mean, she can be obnoxious, but like I said, she's a teen age girl. I was obnoxious in my own way at that age. She gets a lot of attention from her blog. Even stuff like being asked to help at Christian concerts and stuff, and that's bound to go to a young girls head, at least a little.

That surprises me! I would think that there would be other young, fundie-lite women blogging in the Portland area that would be, well, better at it and draw in more positive attention than Raquel.

It makes sense that she's not as obnoxious in person as online. That gives me hope that she's maybe not as immature as she seems and that she'll snap out of it sooner rather than later.

[onlyme]

I really think she will grow out of it. Hopefully without too many bumps along the way. Her older brother is my son's best friend and he's a really nice kid. Totally a level headed, responsible, nice, easy going guy. He sees what's going on here and they have a good relationship. I think that's where her best hope lies. I don't know her parents, but I've never gotten any negative impressions from the kids about them. I think they are more the country-artsy-maybe just a little hippy type.

I was surprised about how popular her blog is too. But, she is pretty, she's VERY outgoing and friendly, makes friends everywhere she goes and it not afraid to put herself out there-AT ALL. And Portland isn't exactly the fundie mecca of the US so I guess there isn't a whole lot of competition in this neck of the woods.

Hopefully I haven't said too much. :P My daughter reads here. If so, Sorry hon!

[Firiel]

I really think she will grow out of it. Hopefully without too many bumps along the way. Her older brother is my son's best friend and he's a really nice kid. Totally a level headed, responsible, nice, easy going guy. He sees what's going on here and they have a good relationship. I think that's where her best hope lies. I don't know her parents, but I've never gotten any negative impressions from the kids about them. I think they are more the country-artsy-maybe just a little hippy type.

I was surprised about how popular her blog is too. But, she is pretty, she's VERY outgoing and friendly, makes friends everywhere she goes and it not afraid to put herself out there-AT ALL. And Portland isn't exactly the fundie mecca of the US so I guess there isn't a whole lot of competition in this neck of the woods.

Hopefully I haven't said too much. :P My daughter reads here. If so, Sorry hon!

Good about her brother. Glad she's got someone level headed to look up to.

[formergothardite]

Raquel isn't a young teen girl anymore, she is adult who appears to expect everything to be handed to her with minimal effort on her part and her parents allow her to live in this unhealthy fantasy world. Her mother at least used to read her blog and should have realized that her daughter was and is obsessed with finding a husband. And if she didn't realize it, when she discovered her teen daughter was so desperate for a husband at the age of 16 that she would sext any guy in hopes that they would stay with her, she and Raquel's father should have made it clear to Raquel that her behavior isn't healthy or normal.

Honestly, seeing how Raquel reacted when she was informed, that despite all of her claims to want to abolish modern day slavery, her favorite coffee and chocolate are produced by child slaves, I can't buy into the idea that she is more mature in real life. She wants the attention of bragging about being an abolitionists without having to do anything, not even something as simple of no longer buying Dutch Bros Coffee and Reese's cups.

The best thing for Raquel would have been if her parents had pulled the plug on her blog a loooong time ago. Without the attention from the blog and then her twitter I think she would have had more of a chance to grow out of this sort of behavior. But she is an adult now, so they are limited in what they can do.

[salex]

Raquel isn't a young teen girl anymore, she is adult who appears to expect everything to be handed to her with minimal effort on her part and her parents allow her to live in this unhealthy fantasy world. Her mother at least used to read her blog and should have realized that her daughter was and is obsessed with finding a husband. And if she didn't realize it, when she discovered her teen daughter was so desperate for a husband at the age of 16 that she would sext any guy in hopes that they would stay with her, she and Raquel's father should have made it clear to Raquel that her behavior isn't healthy or normal.

Honestly, seeing how Raquel reacted when she was informed, that despite all of her claims to want to abolish modern day slavery, her favorite coffee and chocolate are produced by child slaves, I can't buy into the idea that she is more mature in real life. She wants the attention of bragging about being an abolitionists without having to do anything, not even something as simple of no longer buying Dutch Bros Coffee and Reese's cups.

The best thing for Raquel would have been if her parents had pulled the plug on her blog a loooong time ago. Without the attention from the blog and then her twitter I think she would have had more of a chance to grow out of this sort of behavior. But she is an adult now, so they are limited in what they can do.

I'm also not so convinced that 19 is "very young." (Says the woman who both met and married the year she turned 20) But, somewhere along the way, this young woman is being allowed to just coast along. No school, No Job, no visible responsibilities. It is very strange. She's not even talking about learning the housewifery that the other sahd's profess to.

[alba]

I'm also not so convinced that 19 is "very young." (Says the woman who both met and married the year she turned 20) But, somewhere along the way, this young woman is being allowed to just coast along. No school, No Job, no visible responsibilities. It is very strange. She's not even talking about learning the housewifery that the other sahd's profess to.

Okay, maybe it's because I'm only 24 myself, but I think 19 is a very YMMV age. Some people are fully-functional adults at that age and some ... are not. I think it depends partly on personality and partly on experience. A lot of 19-year-olds have been working and living alone for a year or two, or are learning to balance university with a part-time job and equitably divide bills with flatmates. Raquel, on the other hand, has NO responsibility in her life, and I don't know how much of this is just that she's naturally entitled and how much is that her parents haven't pushed her to develop any sense of responsibility.

[Trynn]

I agree, 18-20ish year olds can vary wildly. I know people at both ends of the spectrum. I myself was probably somewhere in the middle, which is probably where most people are.

Most people I've seen grow out of t.

[formergothardite]

19 is usually the age where you learn to start taking responsibility for your life. Most people are either in college, working or both. Yes, at 19 I did some dumb things, but I was also having to deal with college professors who expected me to show up on time and turn in non-plagiarized work, dealing with a boss that expected me to show up on time and do my job without whining about it, I was having to learn to pay things like my car insurance and figuring out financial aid. And this is what Raquel is missing, no one is holding her responsible for anything. No one appears to expect her to do anything she doesn't want to do.

I wonder if the reason she appears more mature in real life is because no one is really confronting her about her behavior. Did her brother or parents go tell her that she needs to stop plagiarizing constantly or was it just people on the internet? Has anyone in her life pointed out the hypocrisy of making a huge deal about how she wants to abolish modern slavery while refusing to give up her favorite slave made products that are really splurges so she doesn't have to buy them? Has anyone pointed out to her how unwise it is to flirt and go after every guy who talks to her online? I don't get the impression that her brother, parents or friends are saying anything to her about what she does. According to her ask.fm when she did ask friends in her life about these sorts of things they agreed with her that none of her behavior is a big deal.

[onlyme]

Well, just to clarify, I didn't say she was more mature in person. I said she isn't quite as bad. I more meant personality wise.

[formergothardite]

But even personality wise, if no one in her life is pointing out how she steals from others and passes it off as her own writing over and over and over, how she is a huge hypocrite when it comes to being an abolitionists and how online she comes off as desperately throwing herself at any guy she can, well of course she is going to seem not quite as bad. But look how she acted in real life when she heard a girl say she liked a guy. She had a complete, over the top, dramatic melt-down. What would she do if people criticized her for the other things she does? I think she seems not as bad because nobody seems to be confronting her with how she acts.

ETA: I guess what I'm trying to say is if her brother and her friends have never bothered to tell her that plagiarism is no different than stealing from a store and she should stop, then they might see a whole other side to her if they start trying to talk to her about the creepy internet guy that is her current obsession.

[sea_gale]

One benefit of tertiary education is learning what plagiarism is and that it's really really bad (or at least getting caught is really really bad).

I find it really weird that Raquel's parents don't appear to be making any attempts to fit her to live out of the nest. No making her go to college, get a job, or even having her take on a portion of the housework and childcare like a proper fundie SAHD. Not that I think the latter is a good thing, but I don't think that being rudderless, and seemingly not having any responsibilities apart from her online presence is much better.

[already hungover]

Raquel reminds me so, so much of my little sister, who just turned 23. She dated a string of really sketchy dudes (for example, her last ex is currently in jail for choking his girlfriend until she lost consciousness and then leaving her for dead in a ditch) between the ages of about 17-20. She just has so little self-worth that she thinks she deserves men like that. At 21, she married a guy who is kind of an unambitious loser, but at least he has a job that doesn't involve selling drugs or stealing things. She is just a PERFECT target for predatory men. I worry about her all the time.

[blisterine]

He looks a bit like Mark Wahlberg in some of those pics.

He looks like the bastard love child of Arnold Schwartzenegger and Slater from "saved By The Bell".

Does anyone else think Chris Hansen might be telling this story in a couple of years?

[Vex]

One benefit of tertiary education is learning what plagiarism is and that it's really really bad (or at least getting caught is really really bad.

Agreed! At my university every piece of work we hand in has a plagiarism declaration AND has to be fed through a program before we even submit it that gives us a percentage of 'plagiarism' based on how much of our text matches up with the text on record in the database. Since sometimes we need to quote liberally the threshold seems quite high (it's 40%) but I've never once gone over 7% even with what I felt was fairly liberal quoting.

The of course the professors read over it and if you appropriate anything that's not in quotation marks and referenced you're in massive trouble.

I'm disgusted by people who steal work. The rest of us do our work fairly, fall the fuck into line. No excuse for doing that at nineteen.

As for meeting guys online: You can meet some great people online. I don't do social media because I kind of despise it, but I've met a lot of people irl who I got to know online, mostly through either forums or gaming. None of those people misrepresented themselves in any way and we have friendships spanning almost (and in one case, over) a decade. I was 16-19 when I met most of those people.

I don't know if it's different on social media. In the short period I used facebook, I only added people I knew irl or had known online for years and they seemed pretty much the same on facebook as anywhere else.

However, I have no doubts Raquel doesn't have the common sense to decide if people are genuine and okay to meet in real life. She's been lucky so far because she's in the Christian blogosphere but her luck will run out and perhaps already has.

People in her life MUST step in. Praying and good thoughts aren't going to do a thing, unless you believe praying enough will lay on her brother's heart that he needs to slap some sense into her.

[lilah]

Can anyone point me to where she found out about coffee/choclate and it's connection to slavery? I thought her pillow project for formerly trafficked people was well intention ed but ridiculous (at least she expanded to include Toiletries and other useful items)

[lilah]

Can anyone point me to where she found out about coffee/choclate and it's connection to slavery? I thought her pillow project for formerly trafficked people was well intention ed but ridiculous (at least she expanded to include Toiletries and other useful items)

[Trynn]

I agree... It might not be NECESSARY for trafficked people to have a pretty pillow, but who's to say having one wouldn't brighten up their day?

[formergothardite]

Can anyone point me to where she found out about coffee/choclate and it's connection to slavery? I thought her pillow project for formerly trafficked people was well intention ed but ridiculous (at least she expanded to include Toiletries and other useful items)

She claimed to be fighting against social injustice in the world. A member here sent her information about the slavery that goes into producing her favorite brands of chocolate and coffee. She promptly went out to purchase more coffee and posted pics on instagram, kind of like a big "fuck you. I can call my self an abolisher of modern day slavery and a fighter of social injustices while not giving up luxuries that are slave produced. No one gets to tell me what to do."

That was around the time she decided that running her charity was just too much for her(or IMO it wasn't getting her enough attention) so she handed it to another person. That person wrote about the dark side of chocolate. Raquel still calls herself an abolitionists of modern slavery, but you can pry her slave produced coffee out of her cold dead hands. Buying some fair trade coffee and chocolate is too much of an effort for her, she would rather snap selfies with an red X on her hand. :roll:

I highly doubt her brother or her friends have ever confronted her about this sort of behavior. And if they did I don't think she would handle it very well. And on another note, she would probably save money buying some fair trade coffee and making her own coffee drinks at home compared to how much it costs to constantly go out and buy them like she does.

[fiery redhead]

Did Raquel and Mitch already break up?