Anna Duggar: the Disliked In-law?

[VixenToast]

Forgive me if there is another thread on this, but does any one know what prompted the speculation on the duggar daughters dislike of Anna? They put on quite the show for the cameras if this is the case.

 

I'm so very curious.

[roddma]

I dont think they actually dislike Anna. It likely has to do with the -feel weird saying-'hive vagina' mentality. For years, they were only around each other 95% of the time and had a close bond and suddenly there is a new person.

[Dutch_girl]

I don't think they dislike her. Maybe, in het beginning they had to get used to each other, but that's normal considering the speed of J&A's engagement (I would have that too). But now they are much more comfortable, and remember that one of the J'slaves told she often went swimming with Anna and the M'kids? And also the decorated rooms when J&A moved? You don't stay up very late to help your SIL with decorating if you don't like her.

Besides, the J'slaves are often staying with J&A, and I guess that when they are there, the majority of time is spend with Anna.

[Miggy]

I've always had the feeling that Jana & Jill took along time to get to know Anna and now quite like her but that Jessa & Jinger are quite different personalities. I'm not suggesting they hate her, just that Anna isn't someone they would be friends with if she hadn't married their brother. I'll extend that to say I don't think either Jessa or Jinger are close to Josh.

I have family I love to bits and talk to everyday and then I have family that I love and talk to at gatherings but don't really have much to do with otherwise. That's kind of how I see Jessa & Jinger with Anna & Josh.

[uber frau]

I don't think she's disliked exactly. It's just that she's an in-law and up until now she has been the only outsider. I think the 'not one of us' thing will lessen as more of the J-spawn marry.

[lascuba]

I don't know about now, but in the past there were a few clues that they didn't get along much. Jana saying she couldn't get along with a relative had many speculating it was Ana. When she and Josh were married only a few months and she hadn't learned how to bs for the camera yet, a producer asked Ana if she was and her sisters-in-law were close, and after an extremely awkward pause she said, "Ummmmm, I wouldn't say we're close, but we get along well. Yeah." During the family vote for Jordyn's name, when Anna said, "We haven't picked our letter yet!" Jinger gave her a beautiful, "You fucking moron" look. I get the impression that Anna was super impressed with the Duggar celebrity and maybe was a bit fangirl-y when she and Josh got engaged, which isn't a good way to establish a good relationship with your in-laws. Plus, even by Duggar standards Anna is extremely judgmental and bitchy. It might have been a shock to her when these people she worshipped as perfect fundies turned out to be human, and I doubt she tried to hide her reactions. And the Duggars are so insular--their only real friends each other--so I'm sure anyone, especially a woman, would have a hard time being welcomed as part of the family.

[Sundaymorning]

I always suspected that the older Duggar girls might have been (or still are) a bit jealous of Anna. She, as an engaged and then married woman, had a lot more freedom than them. Especially before the kids, she didn't have a lot of work to do and could live her own life much more than the Duggar girls who are still stuck sharing a room (and some even bed) with their siblings.

[Dandruff]

I always suspected that the older Duggar girls might have been (or still are) a bit jealous of Anna. She, as an engaged and then married woman, had a lot more freedom than them. Especially before the kids, she didn't have a lot of work to do and could live her own life much more than the Duggar girls who are still stuck sharing a room (and some even bed) with their siblings.

I agree and will add that, despite how much the Duggars all love each other, in a family that size there must be some beneficial groupings and alliances. I think the addition of an adult to the mix threw things off balance for awhile.

[tabitha2]

And the Duggars are so insular--their only real friends each other--so I'm sure anyone, especially a woman, would have a hard time being welcomed as part of the family.

Not completely. They have numerous friends and meet people in the journey and alert sets. many if not all spouses will be at least somewhat familiar to them.

[freejoyannatoo]

Also, she took Josh away from them, at a very early age too. My impression is that he was an engaging and fun older brother (yes, he's changed). So the girls would have been uncomfortable with Anna for that, not necessarily at a conscious level.

Anna was the first outsider to disrupt Duggar-world. Whatever she was like as a person I think the older Duggar children would have been fundamentally disposed to dislike her, on this basis. It may even have been quite a shock to Anna, who on the face of it hasn't done anything wrong.

Now the principle has been established I think other fiancees/spouses will have an easier time of it. Derick seems quite popular with his siblings-in-law (but then he also seems like a very nice guy).

[Wenny]

They are in-laws. Even with a close bond everyone butts heads about something. Mainly parenting style, it could be as minor as baby food or major as car seat safety. (Which it seem all Duggars know nothing about. )

[pega127]

Also, she took Josh away from them, at a very early age too. My impression is that he was an engaging and fun older brother (yes, he's changed). So the girls would have been uncomfortable with Anna for that, not necessarily at a conscious level.

Anna was the first outsider to disrupt Duggar-world. Whatever she was like as a person I think the older Duggar children would have been fundamentally disposed to dislike her, on this basis. It may even have been quite a shock to Anna, who on the face of it hasn't done anything wrong.

Now the principle has been established I think other fiancees/spouses will have an easier time of it. Derick seems quite popular with his siblings-in-law (but then he also seems like a very nice guy).

IDK: my impression of Josh was a very detached older brother

[Cats B4 Quivers]

I can imagine a bit of what Anna has gone thru (or still is going through) with her sisters in law. I once started a job in a store where the staff had worked together for several years, had many shared retail experiences, and spent much time socializing after work. In a nutshell, it was hell.

Ok, maybe I was a little overwhelmed there but I'm sure that anytime I spoke, all their heads turned in my direction in sync. Like I could even hear a motorized hum as they looked at me at the same time.

I bet Anna heard a similar noise whenever she piped up in a sister group conversation. I bet she was creeped out too. The sisters probably have such similar experiences together that recalling them is a weird mix of finishing each other's sentences and silent nodding because further explanations are not needed. That is creepy to witness.

That much meshing makes it difficult for an outsider to wriggle into and become a part of it.

I hated every moment of that job and at least I was able to quit and never bother with those people again. Anna will have more trouble getting away from the Duggars. Meshing is probably the best she can do.

[VixenToast]

I have always felt that Michelle was probably the most hostile of the in-laws.

That hag lady clearly has some form of personality disorder... :? I'd bet NPD. Imagine her jealousy of Anna's pregnancies. I can't get over J'chelles icy face of doom in the car while taking Anna to the birthing center. Yikes :shock:

[N The Prayer Closet]

I think they probably had some rough patches those first few years but get along well now. Jill did choose Anna as a bridesmaid over Amy and she had known Amy her entire life.

[Jessica]

The episode is Driving Miss Duggars. They ask Anna if she gets along well with Josh's sisters and she makes an awkward face and then looks to Josh like she's waiting for him to tell her how she should answer the question then says "Ummmm.... I think we get along great... I hope..." Then it cuts to Jana and she makes this face like she's thinking "WHY the hell are you asking me this?!" but then smiles and says something like, "Um, I THINK we get along okay..." It's bizarre! Just smile and nod and say "Yeah, we love Anna!" and move on. The whole thing was almost painful to watch.

[SamE]

I felt sorry for Anna. The Duggar girls are so close - it would be difficult to be the new girl.

Plus, she had a lot more freedom from the get-go than they were ever allowed. It seems that a bit of jealousy may have played part, imo.

[Mela99]

I think they probably had some rough patches those first few years but get along well now. Jill did choose Anna as a bridesmaid over Amy and she had known Amy her entire life.

I doubt Boob and Mullet would permit a non-ATI/fundie member of the wedding party

[N The Prayer Closet]

I doubt Boob and Mullet would permit a non-ATI/fundie member of the wedding party

True, but Derick's brother was in the wedding party and he seems so...so normal.

[Mrs.Right]

I doubt Boob and Mullet would permit a non-ATI/fundie member of the wedding party

Especially if Gothard was in attendance. Don't want to offend your master!

They must have made an exception for Derick's brother.

[BeaSnarky]

The episode is Driving Miss Duggars. They ask Anna if she gets along well with Josh's sisters and she makes an awkward face and then looks to Josh like she's waiting for him to tell her how she should answer the question then says "Ummmm.... I think we get along great... I hope..." Then it cuts to Jana and she makes this face like she's thinking "WHY the hell are you asking me this?!" but then smiles and says something like, "Um, I THINK we get along okay..." It's bizarre! Just smile and nod and say "Yeah, we love Anna!" and move on. The whole thing was almost painful to watch.

I think in Anna's defense, she may have felt put on the spot and awkward...especially with a camera in her face...I myself would never say I'm really close with my sisters-in-law...in fact, I think they see me as the devil...especially since I told them the Bible wasn't written by Jesus, and in fact was put together by a bunch of men who decided which books they thought were the most Godly.

Natually, I wouldn't have said that on camera...more of probably, "Um, I think we get along ok."

Disclaimer, I do love my sisters-in-law, but not their extreme religious movement. While I am religious, I have never approved of God being shoved down my throat.

I don't really think Anna was ever disliked - I think that since the courtship and engagement were so short, and Anna lived in Florida, I think it was just awkward to say, "Of course I love her" when she was practially a stranger. BenBob and Derick have spent much more time with the Duggars as a family.

[JenJ1978]

Part of the issue was probably that she wasn't their equal. She was a married woman practically as soon as they knew her, and in the fundie world that's a big difference. Then she was a mother right away as well. Personality wise she wouldn't have hit it off with Jessa or Jinger, but the oldest girls were probably reasonably nice to her. I would think after spending all their time together they might welcome having someone new to talk to.

[Running1985]

This is probably not a popular opinion but, I think Anna has an advantage over the duggar girls. The fact that some of her siblings left the lifestyle shows they weren't as brain washed as kids. Also, sometimes Anna makes comments in the interviews that shows critical thinking skills. But, that's the most I can say for her, since she hasn't been given the opportunity to prove herself. I bet if she grew up normal she would have gone to a good school and been pretty successful.

[marmalade]

Especially if Gothard was in attendance. Don't want to offend your master!

They must have made an exception for Derick's brother.

And likely all of Derick's other groomsmen. I was bored one day and looked up the cousin with the butt. Pretty mainstream/fundie-lite, shorts-wearing, girlfriend in booty shorts type. The other groosmen were college buddies, IIRC. Sure, he belonged to a Christian club, but let's not forget that Gothard forbids higher education, unless it's HIS form of higher education.

So yeah, there's that.

[RosyDaisy]

I think the whole getting along thing was a TLC drama setup that backfired. If anything the Duggar girls were happy there was on less person to wait on and clean up after.