if they eloped

[mebeforee]

Most of them would say the new hubby is the authority of his bride.

If the elopers didn't marry, it would still be the dads in authority. And in some cases a father will keep lording it over his married kids since fundies teach that God speaks and leads through the father's authority.

And it would definitely hurt the prospects of the other kids in the family to have black sheep (kids who "rebelled") hanging around.

These families are so interconnected. It's not like a typical American family, where each child has an individual life once they enter preschool... individual friends, different teachers and coaches than other siblings, and everyday experiences that are all their own. Fundie families stick together in almost everything. A typical American teenager could elope with only slightly disturbing the family, but not a fundie teenager.

That's kind of disappointing... not that I'd invite any teen to dramatically change their life by getting married, but that if they wanted to pursue a relationship that might not be 'approved', they'd have an extra layer of guilt over potentially losing contact with/boxing their siblings in even more :(

[dairyfreelife]

Whether the artist Magic is a douche or not, the song reminds me a lot of my current situation with my bf and his parents. Their answer to the idea of our union is a complete no and for no reason other than the fact that I am white and I am American. So, the comments on the fb thread make me want to rip my hair out. So many assumptions because it assumes that every rejection is justified. If a parent objects to a union sometimes it is justified. They sometimes see things their children don't see and worry about the other person and how they will treat their child. I get that, I do. I had a sister who had an ex and we were not very supportive of the union because we could see he was not a good person. However, in my boyfriend's case, it's not about me as a person at all. It's not always about a person. Sometimes the daughter/son sees the person for the great person they are and the parents only see the outset so they object without any real reason.

On the eloping, which is along the same line, I doubt many would. It sounds nice to some of us that they will just do what they want and not choose what their parents want for them, but that's far more complicated than it sounds. I know if my bf and I just up and eloped, it would create a just rift. Sure, sometimes it sounds nice, but the reality is much, much more harsh. It will come with distrust, anger, tears, heartache, torn relationships and even possibly being disowned by family. All that hurts everyone. Going against the grain is tough enough. Eloping will just add a massive dose of fuel to the fire in many cases. I imagine simply choosing their own person to court without parental involvement would be hard enough in some families. Choosing to lose some of the fundie beliefs would be hard as well. So, in many fundie families, eloping would probably not even be on the radar.

[artdecades]

Voddie just posted about this on FB today! It's a music video of some douchebag pleading with an uptight dad for his daughter's hand.

facebook.com/VoddieBaucham/posts/10152425931887550

I have to say this song is super popular in LA right now. All the pop/top 40 radio stations play it all the time. It makes me feminist rage. The "can I have your daughter" part and the fact that the song doesn't even take into account the woman's wants or feelings.

[Mama Mia]

Whether the artist Magic is a douche or not, the song reminds me a lot of my current situation with my bf and his parents. Their answer to the idea of our union is a complete no and for no reason other than the fact that I am white and I am American. So, the comments on the fb thread make me want to rip my hair out. So many assumptions because it assumes that every rejection is justified. If a parent objects to a union sometimes it is justified. They sometimes see things their children don't see and worry about the other person and how they will treat their child. I get that, I do. I had a sister who had an ex and we were not very supportive of the union because we could see he was not a good person. However, in my boyfriend's case, it's not about me as a person at all. It's not always about a person. Sometimes the daughter/son sees the person for the great person they are and the parents only see the outset so they object without any real reason.

On the eloping, which is along the same line, I doubt many would. It sounds nice to some of us that they will just do what they want and not choose what their parents want for them, but that's far more complicated than it sounds. I know if my bf and I just up and eloped, it would create a just rift. Sure, sometimes it sounds nice, but the reality is much, much more harsh. It will come with distrust, anger, tears, heartache, torn relationships and even possibly being disowned by family. All that hurts everyone. Going against the grain is tough enough. Eloping will just add a massive dose of fuel to the fire in many cases. I imagine simply choosing their own person to court without parental involvement would be hard enough in some families. Choosing to lose some of the fundie beliefs would be hard as well. So, in many fundie families, eloping would probably not even be on the radar.

So sorry you're having to go through that. So irrational and cruel. FWIW, one of my daughters went through that to some extant with some of her future in-laws, because she wasn't Mexican "

" enough" whatever that means :roll: they came around after they had kids though.

[DomWackTroll]

Almost forgot about Hans Friedrich, Carmon’s son! He eloped with a girl named Aubree. Here is a thread from the old board in which we discuss the drama surrounding the elopement. Things were bad between Carmon and Aubree.

http://freejinger.yuku.com/topic/7516/W ... 8pzeyt145l

But times change, Doug Phillips resigns, and Carmon comes around. Hans and Aubree are still together. And Hans’ arm hair is defrauding me.

facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152511551592766&set=p.10152511551592766&type=1

[mebeforee]

Part 1 of a millionty of their story: sanderson1611.blogspot.com/2013/03/my-wife-zsuzsa-part-1.html?m=1

I've started reading this... damn. I mean, I know that Zsu is an unpopular figure here but I don't think I've ever actually read anything by/about her. I'm on part 4 now where he's talking about how he explained to her that the big bang and evolution were nonsense, how they were in the candy aisle at Rite Aid and he was trying to convince her that parents needed to spank children, etc. My god, what a blowhard! I can't believe that a nonreligious person could listen to a person spout this stuff nonstop while they're trying to take a vacation and actually find it appealing... I guess there must have been some physical attraction naturally between them that would get her to spend time around him to begin with, but I'm amazed that it wasn't completely destroyed by his constant, needy preaching!

[jerkit]

I've started reading this... damn. I mean, I know that Zsu is an unpopular figure here but I don't think I've ever actually read anything by/about her. I'm on part 4 now where he's talking about how he explained to her that the big bang and evolution were nonsense, how they were in the candy aisle at Rite Aid and he was trying to convince her that parents needed to spank children, etc. My god, what a blowhard! I can't believe that a nonreligious person could listen to a person spout this stuff nonstop while they're trying to take a vacation and actually find it appealing... I guess there must have been some physical attraction naturally between them that would get her to spend time around him to begin with, but I'm amazed that it wasn't completely destroyed by his constant, needy preaching!

Stevie was not horrible looking in his day. The both wanted to fuck. So they got married. That's pretty much all ther is to their story.