So what was up with Jana??

[mebeforee]

I'm probably lucky to not have grown up in an area where evolution was really challenged... I mean, a girl in my GS troop (that my mom was the leader of) left the group after my eldest brother got a letter to the editor printed about being gay. And when I was in high school (5~ years later) the "Warriors for Christ" club sometimes dropped in on our Gay Straight Alliance meetings to preach. And I have some schoolwork from the same time (sociology/government classes) where group projects or 'polls' in class gave a lot of biblical hate as feedback to my projects. A lot of my friends were very religious, but we argued more about politics and gay rights than anything else. I don't think any of the people I hung around with didn't believe that evolution was solid. That really seems like next-level ignorance to me, lmao. I mean I'm sure they exist in the area, but somehow I wasn't in the same circles and don't remember ever actually encountering someone who didn't think evolution was real, or thought the earth was only 6000 years old.

I think you're probably right that Derrick doesn't believe in evolution... unless that's not something that the Duggars would ask potential suitors, but I find that unlikely. But then, he's still a young man and it seems that he does care about education and is interested in having new experiences, so maybe that'll change. Even if it doesn't, I think Jill and Derrick's future looks a lot more promising than Josh and Anna's... I mean, Derrick doesn't seem like he's from an ATI or quiverfull background, but he does seem genuine, he's educated and ambitious and personality-wise he seems like a great fit for Jill. I hope Jana finds someone as (seemingly, anyway) well-suited to her as Jill did. Sadly I think she might be more valuable to the family as a j'slave and thus it might be awhile before she is allowed to court or marry someone that might open a new life for her :( And if the speculation that she's had a rebellious streak in the past has any basis in reality, they may also want to keep her under their careful watch until they're convinced she's been properly repressed...

[Coffee Addict]

First time poster, long time lurker.

Jana is my favorite Duggar. I think she is the prettiest sister by far. I really hope she is able to get out somehow and find happiness. She always seems so sad and it seems that they just walk all over her. She seems so sweet, it sucks to see her so sad.

[Tangy Bee]

I wonder if she realizes people are noticing her emotions and actually care. I just hope she meets a guy who is not ATI and who didn't grow up in such a restrictive, emotional lifestyle.

[Ellimenopy]

Jana reminds me of my personality when I was a Christian. I was (am!) naturally curious, clever, and ask lots of questions. I quickly learned that this was not a valued trait in fundamentalism, and so I literally just stopped talking except to keep sweet. Jana reminds me of that time when I didn't believe half the bullshit they were shoveling me. Even though on the surface, I was following the rules as best I could, somehow my parents/ ministers could sense that I wasn't totally convinced.

I don't know if that's the case for Jana, but I want it to be, so maybe I see what I want to see, you know?

[mebeforee]

Even though on the surface, I was following the rules as best I could, somehow my parents/ ministers could sense that I wasn't totally convinced.

I don't know if that's the case for Jana, but I want it to be, so maybe I see what I want to see, you know?

Well, with the evolution thing, I always thought it was interesting that she knew enough about evolution and had enough independent thought to think it made sense to her, and that the reason it must be wrong was just that the Bible said something else. Basically an argument of having faith (instead of what Jim Bob does, which is trying to convince people that evolution is 'unscientific' while clearly lacking an understanding of what science is). But you could tell she had actually thought about the issue.

Even though she's fairly quiet/meek on the show she does show occasionally that she has her own perspective, so I don't think you're just seeing what you want to see ;)

[sockinshoe]

Maybe Jana wants to stay single? I mean, the littles aren't that little anymore, Michelle is not having any more babies for Jana to parent, and she might not feel like having her own (yet if ever)? Keep in mind, if she were a non-fundie, she'd probably not be settling down in a serious way yet. She may have a longterm or serious partner or even be considering marriage, but she'd probably be just finished or finishing her studies leaving little time for her to start having babies.

[pennsatuckey]

Maybe Jana wants to stay single? I mean, the littles aren't that little anymore, Michelle is not having any more babies for Jana to parent, and she might not feel like having her own (yet if ever)? Keep in mind, if she were a non-fundie, she'd probably not be settling down in a serious way yet. She may have a longterm or serious partner or even be considering marriage, but she'd probably be just finished or finishing her studies leaving little time for her to start having babies.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm not sure if she really has that level of control over whether or not she gets married. I'm not well versed in my fundie-ology, but it would give her a way out of her parents' house.

[mebeforee]

I think she does have a good amount of control over whether or not to get married - if a guy went to her dad and wanted to court her, she could tell her father she wasn't interested and JB could reject the guy. I don't see JB just handing her off to someone against her will, and some of Jessa's comments have indicated they may have done this in the past. However, she probably wouldn't be able to be proactive and go after a guy who hasn't expressed interest in her.

But it's pretty much the only way she'll get out of the house (except for going to things like Journey of the Heart, which appear to be temporary and also under strict supervision of like-minded), so I guess it comes down to whether or not she wants to get out of the house more than she wants to stay single. Not an easy choice to make, especially for a young woman who is old enough to be independent. And getting married won't actually guarantee more independence, it just makes some independence POSSIBLE... ultimately it comes down to how her would-be husband would treat her. The impression you get of a person without every being alone with them or having unmonitored conversations is not always a true impression of their character (as much as I hate to use that word).

[Alye]

Maybe it's a case of better the devil you know? She may think it's better being under the authority of Jim Boob than some other fundie guy or breaking out.

[It'sFunToRun]

Maybe it's a case of better the devil you know? She may think it's better being under the authority of Jim Boob than some other fundie guy or breaking out.

I've heard of some eldest siblings of large families, who after raising their siblings, don't want children of their own.

I like your hypothesis, if I were to rank the most popular fun die headships in order of best to worst, it would go roughly like this:

1. Derrick Dillard

2. Josh Duggar (has more respect for his kids and doesn't do dumb JB pranks)

3. Tie, JimBob and BenBob

4. David Waller (does not seem to like his wife)

5. Tie, John Schrader and Steve Maxhell (Maxwell actually takes good physical care of his kids and provides a stable home, but Schrader's kids occasionally have fun even though they might die)

6. PP (publicly admits to beating his kids)

7. Michael Pearl (wrote a book on beating kids, responsible for child deaths)

So Jim Bob is in the top half.

[Kira]

There are many possible reasons why she is still single. I would put "because she wants to be single" last on the list.

A. She has had no serious courtship offers.

B. JB hasn't approved of any potential suitors

C. She is needed at home

I'm sure we could think of others reasons.

Do all of the unmarried fundies we follow want to be single? Are all girls and women blogging about wanting to find husbands and have children lying? We've seen families who are good at marrying off their kids struggle to find mates for some them.

[lascuba]

I know I'm probably giving Michelle and Jim Bob way too much credit, but I just don't believe that needing her at home has ever been a factor in Jana's not (that we know of) courting. They can be hypocritical in all sort of ways but I can't imagine they would so blatantly go against their beliefs by discouraging a daughter from marrying. And even if they would, they have enough fundie leghumpers willing to work for free that caring for home and kids isn't much of an issue. They've completely outsource homeschooling, for one. They'd have no problem getting people to cook, clean, etc. for the "honor" of working for such a godly family, if they don't do that already. I get the impression the Duggars have a lot more outside help than they let on. The fact that they tried to hide the fact that an outsider was teaching the kids is extremely telling.

[RabbitKM]

I know I'm probably giving Michelle and Jim Bob way too much credit, but I just don't believe that needing her at home has ever been a factor in Jana's not (that we know of) courting. They can be hypocritical in all sort of ways but I can't imagine they would so blatantly go against their beliefs by discouraging a daughter from marrying. And even if they would, they have enough fundie leghumpers willing to work for free that caring for home and kids isn't much of an issue. They've completely outsource homeschooling, for one. They'd have no problem getting people to cook, clean, etc. for the "honor" of working for such a godly family, if they don't do that already. I get the impression the Duggars have a lot more outside help than they let on. The fact that they tried to hide the fact that an outsider was teaching the kids is extremely telling.

I agree. I just can't see why they would keep Jana at home on purpose, when to them, getting married (and having blessings) is of utmost importance. And like you said, they would have plenty of help from other people. Also, Jinger can probably handle and delegate household chores, Joy and Hannie are of appropriate house-keeping age (for them, anyway), and as more people get married, there will be less work to do.

[ckw]

I read somewhere that Jana had a 'special friend' but Jim Boob rejected him. That certainly would explain the sad look. And getting sent to JTTH.

[BeccaGrim]

I wonder what Jim Bob didn't like, considering he let Ben in.

[It'sFunToRun]

I know I'm probably giving Michelle and Jim Bob way too much credit, but I just don't believe that needing her at home has ever been a factor in Jana's not (that we know of) courting. They can be hypocritical in all sort of ways but I can't imagine they would so blatantly go against their beliefs by discouraging a daughter from marrying. And even if they would, they have enough fundie leghumpers willing to work for free that caring for home and kids isn't much of an issue. They've completely outsource homeschooling, for one. They'd have no problem getting people to cook, clean, etc. for the "honor" of working for such a godly family, if they don't do that already. I get the impression the Duggars have a lot more outside help than they let on. The fact that they tried to hide the fact that an outsider was teaching the kids is extremely telling.

I might be getting some names confused, but I think there was a Seven dad who kept his daughter Rebekah I an engagement for four years before letting her marry at the she of 29, presumably because he wanted her help raising siblings. I wonder if she and her husband have resentment over that. They'd have 2-4 more blessings now if they had been allowed to marry when they wanted.

[sockinshoe]

Maybe it's a case of better the devil you know? She may think it's better being under the authority of Jim Boob than some other fundie guy or breaking out.

Keep in mind, also, that if Jana were to leave the compound she'd be running the entire household for herself, her husband, and any blessings until said blessings (well, girl blessings) were old enough to take over a bit. At the moment, she's got Jinger, Joy, Mary, maybe Johannah, and possible even Michelle helping her out, so to speak. There are a ton of Duggars, but they're mostly getting old enough to brush their own teeth and get dressed, and besides, there are 4-6 parental figures around to keep things running.

[freejoyannatoo]

I read somewhere that Jana had a 'special friend' but Jim Boob rejected him. That certainly would explain the sad look. And getting sent to JTTH.

Wasn't there a suggestion that he was quite a bit older than Jana?

Obviously, the girls are better off with immature teenage boys, even younger than they are, who have no life experience and think they know everything :angry-banghead:

Is there some expectation that any male who wants to court a Duggar girl, also has to be innocent and sheltered? Is this a fundie thing?

[FJismyheadship]

Wasn't there a suggestion that he was quite a bit older than Jana?

Obviously, the girls are better off with immature teenage boys, even younger than they are, who have no life experience and think they know everything :angry-banghead:

Is there some expectation that any male who wants to court a Duggar girl, also has to be innocent and sheltered? Is this a fundie thing?

No. See Derick Dillard. Not sheltered and innocent as far as I can tell.

[tuesday]

There are many possible reasons why she is still single. I would put "because she wants to be single" last on the list.

A. She has had no serious courtship offers.

B. JB hasn't approved of any potential suitors

C. She is needed at home

Is it possible that she is using late marriage as a way to limit the amount of children she will eventually bear? If she gets started significantly later than Michelle, then her body will limit her childbearing for here. She might only end up with ten children if she isn't married until she is 30.

[freejoyannatoo]

No. See Derick Dillard. Not sheltered and innocent as far as I can tell.

I realise Derick is neither teenage, nor raised in a very strict fundie environment. So I do completely take your point.

What I really meant though was, are the men expected to be virgins? This will clearly be much easier to achieve if they are very young and have been brought up on a compound or in a very strict fundie family.

I've wondered if part of JB and Derick's creepy prayer-meeting stuff, was JB checking out if Derick, despite uni and his missionary work, was still suitably unsullied for Jill. It wouldn't at all surprise me if Boob asked Derick directly if he'd had sex, and it wouldn't surprise me either if the answer was no.

I get the feeling Derick was probably both very shy around girls at uni, and also extremely busy with his studies (which i think he took very seriously), his Pistol Pete gig, and church stuff. I think Derick is a romantic, and may well have saved himself until the right girl came along.

Perhaps Jana's suitor was not like this. Maybe he was in his late twenties and had already had a couple of relationships. Perhaps he was fundie-light and had strayed from teh path of righteousness at some point. And maybe JB and Michelle thought this made him ineligible - though in reality it probably would have meant he was ideally suited to Jana as he would have been going into a courtship with her, with his eyes open. All speculation of course.

[Toothfairy]

Maybe Jana doesn't want marriage and/or kids. Or maybe she's waiting. Maybe she would feel guilty for leaving her siblings if she does get married. I hope she doesn't get married. I hope she can focus on herself for a while. She's still holding on to emotional pain. I could totally see her leaving just like Anna's sister.

[Mama Mia]

I would think postponing marriage until at least late 20s would be the ideal way for these young women to limit their family size while still staying true to their beliefs. She could easily end up with " only" 5-7 children even if she is very fertile, if she doesn't have the first until 30 ish and breastfeeding is fairly successful at spacing them out to a birth every 2 years or so. Even with the hyper fertile families the frequency of births drops way down after 40 .

I could also see it being very, very difficult for a girl who is shy, which Jana appears to be, to enter a courtship. If Ben sees Jessa at church and makes flirty eyes at her - and she responds with a flirty look back -- it's far easier for him to ask Jim Bob if he can text her. If Jim Bob suggests to Jill that there is a guy he has been talking to that she might be interested in , and she responds with an enthusiastic " heck ya, fire up the skype!" Something is likely to happen. But I can see a shyer girl averting her eyes when the cute guy at church looks her way, or saying, " oh, no, I wouldn't know what to say" when the interesting stranger is suggested.

In thinking about it, it seems like it would be very difficult for a girl with the qualities they state are desirable in women -- modesty, sweetness, homebody, deferential--- to get to the courtship stage with a guy. Where the more outgoing, assertive, confident girls will have a big edge.

[Trynn]

Maybe Jana is asexual? I know we're pretty rare, but we exist. If I were expected to marry, and that was the only hint I could do with my life... I'd die.

That said, she probably just hasn't found anyone she's interested in yet that can pass JB's screening.

[doggie]

Maybe Jana is asexual? I know we're pretty rare, but we exist. If I were expected to marry, and that was the only hint I could do with my life... I'd die.

That said, she probably just hasn't found anyone she's interested in yet that can pass JB's screening.

how would she even know since they are not allowed to even have sexual thoughts.