So what was up with Jana??

[BriarRose1122]

Im sorry but every time I think of Jana I think "Poor Jana".

She just seems like such a sweet, kind girl who has a LOT of past hurts and sad memories.

 

Being the oldest girl, she got the heaviest burdens when it came to watching the younger ones and helping with chores.

 

And being one of the oldest kids in general, she got the brunt of her parents child rearing tenchniques.

I honestly think the little ones now like Jenny, Jordyn, Josie are most likely NOT experiencing the same "child rearing techniques" that Josh, Jana, John David etc were exposed to.

My opinion only, I just think they have relaxed a bit from how they were when their oldest kids were small back in the early 90s.

 

It could be due to being on tv (aren't willing to strike a child with cameras watching) or it could be as a result of their age (they are now older parents, with perhaps slightly different expectations than they had when they were young new parents), or a combination of different factors. Anyhoo I think the little ones now are being raised a bit differently than the older ones were raised.

 

Is there is any info on Jana like courtship news?

Of course I want everybody who gets married to be happy in their marriage, but I especially want a loving, happy marriage for Jana, I really hope she ends up with some wonderful guy who really makes her feel valued as a whole person. (...and when I say that I mean the sort of guy who will decide that Jana's happiness, health, and general well being is a lot more important to him than having fifteen babies.)

 

Also, people keep talking about how Jana was sent to Journey to the Heart?

Does anyone know why?? I've heard Jana was "straying" but never knew what that meant or what was going on. I watch their show but haven't seen anything about Jana, they did mention Journey to the Heart but nothing about why Jana went. I'm VERY curious about why she went there.

[Coconut Flan]

Journey to the Heart is a religious retreat. Some parents may use it for re-education or punishment but that isn't the main purpose of it. Jana seems to like going and has been a counselor. It may be a vacation of sorts for her away from all the younger children.

[BriarRose1122]

Right, I know what JTTH is, and that Jana has gone as a counselor.. but I've heard a lot of mention here on freejinger that Jana was sent there and has been there a few times , and she somehow was either straying or was unhappy or something like that that caused them to have her go. Several posters have mentioned things like this over time. Now that I hjoined the forum I thought I'd ask what they meant...Just wondering what was going on or seemed to be going on that made people think something was up.

[lilith]

Jana is working part time as a Journey to the Heart leader, just as Priscilla Keller/Waller did pre marriage. It seems to be more a sign of being thoroughly indoctrinated and ready to pass that indoctrination on, rather than needing more herself.

JTTH leaders and other young workers at ATI aren't allowed to become engaged or marry until they finish their commitment. Sometimes they aren't allowed to court, but Michael Bates's guy, Brandon, is, though there is speculation that the reason they haven't become formally engaged is cause of ATI rules.

I've always hoped and suspected that its the same for Jana - that she's just waiting for a young man she met at headquarters to serve out his time before announcing a courtship

[Coconut Flan]

It's something some posters like to attribute to all the ATI camps. Whether it's true or not seems open to interpretation. I think some kids are sent in hopes of improved attitude and I think others get sent because it's the ATI thing to do just like going to confirmation classes in mainline denominations.

The Duggars appear to send all or almost all of their kids to one or more ATI camps/retreats so I think it's something that they do not for re-education for all of them.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Jana seems just so sweet and lovely, but also so sad. I think she is unhappy being on camera because she is shy and introverted.....but theres also so much that suggests she has been through a lot in life and is deeply affected by that, like the jewellery box incident that is so significant to her. Shes the oldest girl too, and she had so much responsibility from such a young age.

[N The Prayer Closet]

Jana seems just so sweet and lovely, but also so sad. I think she is unhappy being on camera because she is shy and introverted.....but theres also so much that suggests she has been through a lot in life and is deeply affected by that, like the jewellery box incident that is so significant to her. Shes the oldest girl too, and she had so much responsibility from such a young age.

What is the jewelry box incident?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Jana mentioned it when they were speaking to an audience at some fundie event thing. When Jana and Jessa were little, Jessa kept annoying her (think it was by kicking their bunk bed), and Jana went to her parents to ask them to tell her to stop. Because they are lazy parents, instead of telling Jessa to stop it, she encouraged Jana to give Jessa her prized possession (her jewellery box) to bribe her to stop. Even though this happened when Jana was only about 7, she cried when talking about it. I guess that was when she realised that the whole point of her life is to sacrifice herself to others and realises that her parents will stomp on her dreams and take away what she loves.

[freejoyannatoo]

Jana mentioned it when they were speaking to an audience at some fundie event thing. When Jana and Jessa were little, Jessa kept annoying her (think it was by kicking their bunk bed), and Jana went to her parents to ask them to tell her to stop. Because they are lazy parents, instead of telling Jessa to stop it, she encouraged Jana to give Jessa her prized possession (her jewellery box) to bribe her to stop. Even though this happened when Jana was only about 7, she cried when talking about it. I guess that was when she realised that the whole point of her life is to sacrifice herself to others and realises that her parents will stomp on her dreams and take away what she loves.

Yes, this. Except it wasn't meant as a bribe of course - oh no, it was to show Jessa how much Jana loved her :roll: Some kind of "turning the other cheek" concept I suppose.

Jessa did have the grace to look uncomfortable during this, and to say that she realised it wasn't fun to tease someone who cared for her so much.

But of course these were two little girls whose PARENTS should have been setting boundaries for acceptable behaviour, not burdening their small daughters with this kind of emotional responsibility. Of course small kids are going to annoy each other. It's up to the grown-ups to sort it out. Oh wait, I forgot - there are no grown-ups in this family.

Poor Jana.

[N The Prayer Closet]

Yes, this. Except it wasn't meant as a bribe of course - oh no, it was to show Jessa how much Jana loved her :roll: Some kind of "turning the other cheek" concept I suppose.

Jessa did have the grace to look uncomfortable during this, and to say that she realised it wasn't fun to tease someone who cared for her so much.

But of course these were two little girls whose PARENTS should have been setting boundaries for acceptable behaviour, not burdening their small daughters with this kind of emotional responsibility. Of course small kids are going to annoy each other. It's up to the grown-ups to sort it out. Oh wait, I forgot - there are no grown-ups in this family.

Poor Jana.

Please tell me you're joking!! That made me tear up a little bit. My sons are 7 and 9 and share a room so there are little conflicts like that from time to time. Jessa should have been scolded but it sounds like Jana was unnecessarily punished? Michelle and Jim Bob are super evil and super lazy. How sad that Jana still thinks about it. :cry:

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

Oh my goodness- I had never heard this story before. Very sad, but doesn't surprise me. Also, teaches the kids that the parents do not want to be bothered by the grumblings of the children.

[anjulibai]

I wonder if Jessa ever gave Jana the jewelry box back? Or did anything to make it up to her?

[IReallyAmHopewell]

At least on camera she doesn't look like she could possibly be in a secret courtship unless its one she really doesn't want. I imagine JTTH IS a vacation compared to herding her younger siblings--all of whom are now old enough to have minds of their own FOR WHICH she can be held responsible.

She does not even look excited to help at births though which is also out of the house.

I honestly doubt she feels upset that her sisters are courting before her--most people, regardless of how they meet, want the RIGHT husband, not the first available... I do wonder though if she had her sights on someone and nothing came of it.

[lilith]

Please tell me you're joking!! That made me tear up a little bit. My sons are 7 and 9 and share a room so there are little conflicts like that from time to time. Jessa should have been scolded but it sounds like Jana was unnecessarily punished? Michelle and Jim Bob are super evil and super lazy. How sad that Jana still thinks about it. :cry:

In the Growing Up Duggar book they discuss this incident. Jill and Jana had been given those jewelry boxes as a special present cause they were the oldest girls, which I think makes it even unhealthier that Jana had to give hers to Jessa. It was a special token that only the oldest girls had, and Jessa having it almost seems like she usurped Jana as one of the two special older girls.

[Coco]

Wow, that is so sad.

From the On The Road With 16 Kids special, Jana said she likes for things to be fair. And that jewelry box solution to a sibling problem is ridiculous. I can't fathom any parent allowing a younger child to be so entitled and favored over an older, responsible child. It's heartbreaking that Jana still talked about it years later. I hope Jessa had the decency to give it back when she found out how much it meant to her sister.

Jana seems to go overboard on that verse about dying to yourself, to make things special for the others. I wish that she would do more for herself. I think she's the one doing all the tiny, important but unnoticed things that make the family run like a well-maintained machine. I hope that she can get away from it all and have a beautiful small family with a man that she loves and who loves her.

[DGayle]

Journey to the Heart is a religious retreat. Some parents may use it for re-education or punishment but that isn't the main purpose of it. Jana seems to like going and has been a counselor. It may be a vacation of sorts for her away from all the younger children.

I think she enjoys it because she gets a break from all the kids, and she even gets her own bed.

[DGayle]

Jana mentioned it when they were speaking to an audience at some fundie event thing. When Jana and Jessa were little, Jessa kept annoying her (think it was by kicking their bunk bed), and Jana went to her parents to ask them to tell her to stop. Because they are lazy parents, instead of telling Jessa to stop it, she encouraged Jana to give Jessa her prized possession (her jewellery box) to bribe her to stop. Even though this happened when Jana was only about 7, she cried when talking about it. I guess that was when she realised that the whole point of her life is to sacrifice herself to others and realises that her parents will stomp on her dreams and take away what she loves.

What's strange is they also were fond of hitting their kids with rulers. I guess on that particular night they were too eager to bump uglies and try for another baby to get off their asses and go whip a kid, and so they rewarded Jessa.

[Toothfairy]

I think Jana has the shy sweet personality type. However I think she really hurting inside and does have resentment towards her parents and siblings.

[Mama Mia]

I think she seems like a girl who is really, really prone to take things very much to heart and blame herself for everything that goes wrong in the world. I would think that is likely due to a combination of personality, birth order ( especially with that huge family!) and her parents rewarding/ encouraging that mind set. I didn't read the book, so correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember her telling the jewelry box story as Jessa being 5 ish and continually annoying her, the parents suggested she do something nice for Jessa so they would get along better or Jessa would appreciate her, or something along those lines. And Jana took it on herself to give away her most prized possession. I remember it struck me at the time that it seemed like a really, really extreme gesture- as opposed to just reading her a book or something. Her demeanor and interviews on the show seems, to me, like she is very shy and also really, really, really wants everyone around her to be happy.

I'm glad that at least it's not a situation where they were hitting the kids, but wouldn't most parents just yell out " knock it off" or " play nice" or something similar? It seems like an awful lot of drama for an everyday situation.

[marmalade]

I think she enjoys it because she gets a break from all the kids, and she even gets her own bed.

Nope. When the Show followed Jana to the Northwoods during one of her stints as a team leader, she had to share a queen bed with her co-leader. She showed the room and explained the arrangement herself.

[lilith]

I think she seems like a girl who is really, really prone to take things very much to heart and blame herself for everything that goes wrong in the world. I would think that is likely due to a combination of personality, birth order ( especially with that huge family!) and her parents rewarding/ encouraging that mind set. I didn't read the book, so correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember her telling the jewelry box story as Jessa being 5 ish and continually annoying her, the parents suggested she do something nice for Jessa so they would get along better or Jessa would appreciate her, or something along those lines. And Jana took it on herself to give away her most prized possession. I remember it struck me at the time that it seemed like a really, really extreme gesture- as opposed to just reading her a book or something. Her demeanor and interviews on the show seems, to me, like she is very shy and also really, really, really wants everyone around her to be happy.

I'm glad that at least it's not a situation where they were hitting the kids, but wouldn't most parents just yell out " knock it off" or " play nice" or something similar? It seems like an awful lot of drama for an everyday situation.

My impression of Jana from the show is also that she's shy and quiet, but quite a few people who actually know her have said she's quite outgoing and has a great sense of humour. She may just dislike being filmed, I don't know - but more than one person has said that she's not at all like she's portrayed on the show.

Michelle has also said that Jana was a lot like Hannie as a child - and Hannie is very bright, clever and outgoing.

[Mama Mia]

My impression of Jana from the show is also that she's shy and quiet, but quite a few people who actually know her have said she's quite outgoing and has a great sense of humour. She may just dislike being filmed, I don't know - but more than one person has said that she's not at all like she's portrayed on the show.

Michelle has also said that Jana was a lot like Hannie as a child - and Hannie is very bright, clever and outgoing.

That's very good to know. I would absolutely HATE to be filmed. It would be a complete nightmare for me. If I was on a reality show with me in it I'm sure a snark board would be going on about how I must be mute and definitely need some sort of serious intervention- because I would be so nervous :embarrassed:

[Trynn]

Jana May be like me. If I don't know you, I'm incredibly shy, quiet, and reserved. If I do know you, and have known you for a long time, you'll have a hard time getting me to shut up.

It might be she dislikes being filmed, or it might be she's only comfortable with people she knows and trusts.

[antwan]

Serving at ATI, as I see it, appears similar to Mormons doing a "missions" trip when they are of age (anyone remember Stacy Julian, Mormon scrapbooking "royalty", once sharing a Mormon missionary story [her sister's? I can't recall]. The young woman saw a young girl drownin and saved her, then took advantage of that opportunity to point out to the girl's parents that God orchestrated the incident so they could hear about His love for them, etc. Their kid nearly drowned and she's doin' her thang.) And now Stacy's son is "all growed up" and doing his own missions work.

But I digress. :whistle:

Anyway, I don't see service at ATI to be punishment (in their eyes), or something Jana was "sent" to do, -not in the way that some "wayward" fundies are sent as "encouragement cases" (as they call it.) I think she is glad to go, to serve, to get a break from home (remember, Alyssa Bates said she had little opportunity for private time in a home with 20 other people; I'm pretty sure I'd be happy to "serve" away as well.)

[doubleT]

Just saw this pictures of Jana and Jennifer Hartono at Mt Vernon. Jana looks absolutely beautiful. Her hair looks amazing.

*Do I need to break the link to the picture?