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Rented a car so no one things there's a chance of orgy


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Good old Dannah Gresh, once again.

momlifetoday.com/2014/03/i-rented-a-car-to-protect-my-marriage/

I RENTED A CAR TO PROTECT MY MARRIAGE

Dannah Gresh

Mom Since 1990

I’m passionate about my marriage. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect it. Recently, this meant renting a car and driving to the Philadelphia airport by myself.

It all started in December when Bob and I were trying to think of how to thank Suzy, our lead teacher of Secret Keeper Girl, for ten years of ministry partnership. A Caribbean cruise seemed to be just the thing, so we bought Suzy and her husband Jonathan two tickets. Of course, we thought we should tag along and got two tickets for our selves.

In the week leading up to our departure date, some challenges arose and Bob had to join Suzy and the rest of our Secret Keeper Girl team in Chattanooga the day before our vacation. That meant Jonathan and I would be departing from our hometown on our own rather than with Bob. I guess some women would have felt comfortable taking a four-hour drive to the airport with a trusted male friend. I didn’t.

And it’s because of something that happened in a hotel room in California almost 20 years before I was born.

One afternoon in 1948, a young Billy Graham invited a few friends—George Beverly Shea, Cliff Barrows, and Grady Wilson— to his hotel room in the city of Modesto. There in that room, the four men decided (among other things) that to protect their marriages they would never be alone in a room or travel alone in a vehicle with any woman other than their own individual wives. The commitments they made to each other became known as the Modesto Manifesto. From that day on, Graham stated, “I did not travel, meet, or eat alone with a woman other than my wife.†One of the great hallmarks of his life-long ministry is that it was scandal free. What a gift of faithfulness he gave to his precious wife, Ruth.

Bob and I heard about the practical way this man lived out his passion for his marriage when our own marriage was brand new. We decided to follow his example. We don’t follow it because we are speakers. We made the decision when we were in our 20s and working as marketing consultants with no dream of writing books, speaking, and traveling. Our verbal commitment to one another is something like this:

•We don’t go out to eat alone with someone of the opposite sex.

•We don’t get in a car or room alone with someone of the opposite sex.

•We copy one another when emailing someone of the opposite sex with personal information.

Through the years we have had friends, board members, business partners and complete strangers question our decision. But we’re stickin’ to it.

My vacation cost me $211.15 more than I’d planned for one simple reason: my marriage is priceless to me.

You know, my husband would trust me alone in a bus with the entire Spanish futbol team, and I would trust myself. But this lady? Not even one of her closest friends, a man who's a pastor, for a few hours.

Wow.

I am SO glad I'm not living this life. It must be hell.

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Wow...just wow... Or maybe WTF. Are these men all so sex starved they'll jump a women the first time they are alone with her.

A few years ago I went to a concert with a male friend of my husband and I (Husband had to stay home for the kids).

Said friend and I went out to dinner - alone

I stayed at his house - without my husband :pink-shock: :pink-shock:

I went to the concert with him alone.

Oh my! My marriage is ruined :lol: :lol:

Maybe I should have hired a chaporone

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Good thing this woman doesn't have a real job... I drive all over the state with an opposite sex co-worker! The horror!

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Good God! These people are pathetic. I could be alone with George Clooney and nothing would happen. Why not? Because I love my husband and I wouldn't intentionally hurt him. I have the ability to control my libido without having to quarantine myself from people of the opposite sex. Sounds to me like she and her husband have no faith in themselves or each other and think they'll jump anything that walks upright if left alone with them.

I'm so glad that's not my life. I'd be miserable living with that lack of trust in my marriage.

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I know a friend, usually on the liberal side, who thought I would be wildly inappropriate to stay in the same building with other guys.

I explained to him that he super conservative canvassing program still had us all sleeping in one building; girls in one room, boys in the other.

He was absolutely shocked. And a little horrified. I'd have laughed if it wasn't so stupid.

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She's totally suffering for Jeebus people. It's so hard being a true believer.

My husband is one of the few males in his work place. I'd estimate that 90% of his fellow employees are female (and fairly high percent age of the men who work with him are gay). Most days he works, he's the only guy in the building.

Strangely enough, I'm not hugely worried about him having sexual orgies during tea break. Or even when he goes out for the odd post work drink.

If you can't trust your partner to keep their pants on, I'd say you quite probably have far bigger problems than will be solved by not sharing any time unaccompanied.

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She's totally suffering for Jeebus people. It's so hard being a true believer.

My husband is one of the few males in his work place. I'd estimate that 90% of his fellow employees are female (and fairly high percent age of the men who work with him are gay). Most days he works, he's the only guy in the building.

Strangely enough, I'm not hugely worried about him having sexual orgies during tea break. Or even when he goes out for the odd post work drink.

If you can't trust your partner to keep their pants on, I'd say you quite probably have far bigger problems than will be solved by not sharing any time unaccompanied.

I work in the opposite male to female ratio as your husband- I'm one of two women, and 112 or so men. I've NEVER felt the need to jump any of my coworkers nor do I feel my marriage is "at risk" because I work with so many men, and I'm alone with them from time to time.

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Hmmm....so it sounds like she rented a car to avoid being alone with the male half of the couple they were vacationing with. But her husband and the female friend had left the day before? Thinks that make you go hmmm ( there's an oldies ear worm for you)

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I also thought the Graham strategy was not simply to avoid temptation but to avoid accusations and lawsuits by women he did nt do anything with but who wanted a payday from his growing business I mwan ministry

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Passive aggressive way of avoiding a male with whom she feels uncomfortable but feels she can't prohibit from coming on vacation with them?

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I also thought the Graham strategy was not simply to avoid temptation but to avoid accusations and lawsuits by women he did nt do anything with but who wanted a payday from his growing business I mwan ministry

That's the way I understood it - it was for protection of their reputations.

It reminds me of something that happened a long time ago -

We belonged to a different congregation than we do, now. For whatever reason, the pastor - a guy about my age, married to a lovely woman - was scheduled to meet with me and my TSU at our home after the dinner hour one evening.

For whatever reason, my TSU boycotted the meeting, never showed up, and this was well before cell phones, so there was no way of knowing what he was up to.

Since I'd worked in an industry that employed, at that time, roughly 90% men and 10% women, I was perfectly comfortable talking with a man or men, and for a half hour or so while we waited, the pastor and I chatted about a number of neutral topics (no religion, no politics). Well, and I was also quite used to conversing with Big Daddy JB and my JB brothers, so there was that.

Eventually we assumed my TSU just wasn't going to show, so the pastor left. No biggy, right?

Ho ho oh contraire. A few nights later, after night had fallen and when only my car was in the driveway, there he appeared at the door, "just thought we could talk." I told him in very impolite terms to get the hell off my property and never return.

He never did. We transferred our memberships a few months later.

But the kicker on this whole thing? That pastor absolutely refused to include "children's sermons" in the weekly worship services, where kids are invited to the steps of the altar to hear a juvenilized version of the sermon topic.

Why?

"Because little girls sit there with their skirts up and their legs apart, and the congregation can see EVERYTHING." That's what he said, I am not lying. :music-tool:

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I hate this mentality. And I honestly think that I have pretty strong boundaries that some might find silly. My two big things when I'm in a committed relationship are self-awareness and transparency. I try to be very self-aware when I meet a man that I am attracted to and react accordingly. For instance, when I met a man I was attracted to while married, I deliberately avoided any sort of personal friendship and anything other than casual small talk until the silly little, "Oh, he's cute!" voice shut off in my head. And I use "Would I tell the significant other?" as a litmus test for things I'm thinking of doing. If I were to balk at telling the boyfriend, then I should re-examine my motivations.

That being said, I'm heading out of town this weekend to visit friends, specifically one particular male friend that I've known for nearing a decade now. I'm also staying at his house... maybe on a trundle bed in his room (he's home with his parents for the summer). So I mentioned it to my boyfriend in a "Hey, this will be the situation, just so you know." And he totally just started laughing and said he didn't care at all, I could do whatever.

My parents were trying to defend the "no male/female interaction" boundaries and told a story about a pastor who had an affair with a woman in the church he started working with closely as evidence. I replied that those two had an affair because they were cheaters and not because the door wasn't open while they worked on stuff.

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This mentality extends far beyond car rides or being in a room. When I taught at Christian school, I was a just out of college single woman. Many male colleagues refused to have conversations with me. When one in my department did help me out in the beginning of my first year with advice in one on one conversations in his classroom with the door wide open, we were separately called to the principal's office and told to cease and desist from any professional relationship whatsoever because he was married and I was tempting him. That was not the case at all. And as a 23 year old who had never encountered such an attitude or had the thought of a relationship with a married man, I was embarrassed and felt falsely accused. It was absolutely humiliating.

This article gives men advice about completely avoiding even being slightly friendly with single women in the workplace:

charismamag.com/life/men/20028-5-things-every-married-man-should-do-around-single-women

And this brilliant rebuttal takes it down quite nicely and points out how much this attitude objectifies women:

http://livinginthetension.com/2014/07/5 ... le-or-not/

(Didn't break the second one as I don't think the blogger would be offended nor is he fundy)

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Does her husband accompany her to all of her doctor's appointments? Or does she only see female physicians? My husband and I would both be out of jobs if we couldn't be alone in a room with a person of the opposite sex. But you know, even although we are alone and the person is usually in a state of undress, we never worry about being unfaithful because we are grown up professionals.

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