Anyone Remember Autumn?

[Jessica]

autiemautie.blogspot.com

Wow, what a difference! She got her nose pierced, went to a casino, has a "favorite bar", and I thought this part about kids was particularly interesting, considering how she had that post on her old blog with the conspiracy video about how Muslims would soon out-number the rest of the world: "Still babysitting. The mother of the kiddos snapped this picture while we were playing in the sandbox. At this point in my life, I'm pretty sure that I don't want kids of my own, but I ADORE playing with other people's children. I like to borrow them, give the moms some free time, and then return them when *I* need some free time."

[ILoveJellybeans]

I am so glad that Autumn got out of fundamentalism and is now such a lovely and open minded person. She has had so many experiences that she would never have been able to before, and became friends with so many people who she would have written off as evil sinners before.

Im glad that she has the option to remain childfree if she does not want children-if she had remained fundie she would likely have several very close in age right now.

[Jana814]

Can someone tell me who is person is & what her background is.

[Jessica]

She got married at 16. Her husband was abusive (if I remember correctly, he pointed a gun at her) so they divorced. Several of the leaders of her church said she should have stayed so I believe her whole family left that church. And now she is out living, having fun with friends, and has a nose ring, :)

[ViolaSebastian]

I've always been rooting for Autumn, and this is WONDERFUL to see. It's made my night.

[Palimpsest]

Can someone tell me who is person is & what her background is.

From yuku, the first thread.

http://freejinger.yuku.com/topic/706/Sn ... 78igstOVjo

There are follow-up threads.

In brief: Autumn was married off at the advanced age of 16 with Fundie parental approval and all the usual Fundie courtship bells and whistles.

Daddy Vern and Mother Tracy did all the "approved" Fundie checks. And got suckered big time. By an abusive asshole.

Turned out that hubby was violent and abusive. Autumn got NO help whatsoever from new hubby's church. But ...

Vern and Tracy rescued her (they stepped out of their Fundie box big-time to do that!) and rethought the whole courtship thing, and much Fundie crap in general. They probably still identify as conservative Christian, but they so learned their lesson.

Tracy posted pleasant updates at FJ yuku and quite appreciated our concern and no-holds barred criticism of their decision to allow Autumn to marry at 16 to a guy none of them really knew.

I really appreciated Tracy for facing us here at FJ, admitting her mistakes, and supporting Autumn's divorce whole-heartedly.

Go Autumn! I'm so glad she is putting her life back together and succeeding!

[Jana814]

Thanks for the info!! So glad her parents got away from that guy.

[Muriel]

Wow what a change !

She was a very sheltered fundy girl and now she looks like a very mainstream student !

I remember her playmobil doll-house that she took with her when she got married... It was heartbreaking, she was acting like a little girl, but yet getting married... so weird :?

[Jessica]

But of course she said (or her mom? I can't remember, and Autumn deleted all the blog posts from that time) she was ready for marriage because she had been cooking and cleaning and helping her younger siblings with homeschool for several years. :roll: I'm soooo glad she got out!

[hoipolloi]

Wow - this is a happy ending.

So nice to see Autumn becoming her own person, going to university, working, enjoying a diverse group of friends...

[Letgo]

But of course she said (or her mom? I can't remember, and Autumn deleted all the blog posts from that time) she was ready for marriage because she had been cooking and cleaning and helping her younger siblings with homeschool for several years. :roll: I'm soooo glad she got out!

They deleted many posts from the blog-anything having to do with the wedding, courtship, or the ex. I'm pretty sure they very much wanted to put all of it in the past. I really do think Autumn was more mature than the average 16 year old, but I still would not want a 16 year old to marry. The parents were married young and are very happy together so they did not see a huge issue with her age. The parents lost friends over Autumn's divorce. There were some in their church who felt Autumn was not sufficiently submissive and if she could just improve in that area, why, things would be fine. I recall one woman, upon hearing of the abuse Autumn endured, telling Autumn that all husbands behaved that way, it was normal. For the record, not once has my husband ever pointed a gun at me, nor thrown me against a wall, pinned me to the floor, threatened to kill me, etc. The family was really rocked by this whole thing and they have changed a great deal.

Tracy, the mom, also has a cooking blog with some good recipes. I have made several and they have always been a hit. Tracy does not update either blog very often now, which is disappointing to me. I enjoyed reading about their family and food. I could waste entire days on food blogs and FJ.

[Palimpsest]

Although Tracy and Autumn deleted the courtship and wedding posts, and I don't blame them, Autumn's description of her marriage was still up a few months ago. You may have to rummage back through her archive to find it -- I couldn't find it when I googled just now. It was called something like "life is not a fairy tale."

I thought it courageous of Autumn not to delete that post although I'm sure she wants to put the experience way behind her. IIRC, it is a strong message to anyone not to stay in an abusive marriage, tells potential judging "Christians" that divorce from an abuser who has no interest in reforming behaviors is necessary, and that she is not "damaged goods" as some people called her. A remarkably mature and thoughtful piece of writing about a terrible experience. Autumn is a resilient and strong young woman.

It looks like older brother Mac has fully recovered from his broken courtship (girl's daddy broke it off over doctrinal differences) and is seeing someone now. Good.

On Tracy: I also like her blog and recipes. When she first came to FJ she was loaded for bear telling us to stop snarking about her family. OTOH, she gave us a very clear and honest description about what had happened with Autumn later. I respect her for that because it took courage too.

[hoipolloi]

Here's Autumn's description of what happened: autiemautie.blogspot.com/2010/03/when-life-isnt-fairy-tale.html

Re-reading this makes me all the more impressed with how well she & her family handled this considering their backgrounds, and with how far they all (especially Autumn) have come.

Many people, fundie or not, could learn something from this.

ETA: Autumn's post has a link to Tracy's (unlessthelord.blogspot.com/2010/03/broken.html) on the whole thing.

[Palimpsest]

Thanks Hoipolloi for the links. My Google-fu must be broken.

I'm glad that Autumn and Tracy wrote those powerful posts and they are still available as cautionary tales. We often joke about how easy it would be for a young man to learn the "right" answers for Fundie marriage questionnaires and talk the talk with no intention of walking the walk. These speedy courtships and marriages are dangerous, IMO, even when the bride is older than Autumn.

Not that anyone can't tumble unsuspectingly into an abusive relationship, but at least knowing the other party longer gives a better chance of smoking the person's real nature out and looking for danger signals.

I wonder what happened to Jon. I suspected when it happened that he was a serial abuser who wormed himself into the church and family (he was a convert IIRC) looking for a submissive young girl to marry and abuse, and expecting the church and family to be on his side. Because Patriarchy. Fundie girls are sittung ducks for abusive relationships.

When surprisingly resilient Autumn spoke out and Verne and Tracy (against all Fundie odds) supported her, I think he realized the gig was up and opted out of the marriage. I wish I could remember his last name because, if I'm right, he hasn't stopped being an abuser.