Anti-Masturbation Cross

[Pretzel]

I think that would be Lauren waeringhispurity's mother...

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfem ... story.html

Link not broken b/c I think they are a feminist page...

[Trynn]

My first thought when I saw the picture was: I could TOTALLY still masturbate in that.

[It'sFunToRun]

My first thought when I saw the picture was: I could TOTALLY still masturbate in that.

I like the way you think :dance:

[freejingerbeth]

Oh please, please, please, tell me that this is a joke! Surely, this isn't an actual product?! :shock:

[Trynn]

Oh please, please, please, tell me that this is a joke! Surely, this isn't an actual product?! :shock:

Yes, this is a joke.

Though from what I'm reading, it DOES seem to be an actual product, however, the uses it's marketed for are very, very different and have nothing to do with masturbation.

[PennySycamore]

I'm not criticizing, but if a doctor ordered me to leave the room I'd get a new doctor (well first I'd try to reason with him into letting me stay, but if he refused, I'd refuse to leave).

That would have been good, but this was an emergency situation which is probably not the best time to argue with the doctor or to try to see someone else.

Maranantha and Agape would not freak fundies out as has been pointed out that maranatha mean "Come, Lord Jesus" (Aramaic, I think) and Agape is Greek for unconditional love.

[freejingerbeth]

Okay, I'll bite. Exactly, what kind of actual users is this marketed for? What is its' intended purpose?

[It'sFunToRun]

That would have been good, but this was an emergency situation which is probably not the best time to argue with the doctor or to try to see someone else.

Maranantha and Agape would not freak fundies out as has been pointed out that maranatha mean "Come, Lord Jesus" (Aramaic, I think) and Agape is Greek for unconditional love.

"unconditional love" would freak fun dies out, it's a foreign concept to them.

[BriMamai]

I'm not criticizing, but if a doctor ordered me to leave the room I'd get a new doctor (well first I'd try to reason with him into letting me stay, but if he refused, I'd refuse to leave).

There are multiple ways to keep a little one still for a procedure, it's a matter of the provider being able to evaluate the kid and whoever is with them, combined with the degree of immobilization needed and pick the best method. I really get annoyed at docs who only restrain kids to get anything done. I am not sure if it is laziness, lack of empathy, or lack of creativity. And like any other group of people, some doctors are just assholes. Don't get me wrong, sometimes holding a kid down and just getting it done is necessary, but in most cases there are ways to make it less stressful. I have never kicked a parent out, but I almost kicked out a grandparent - she was almost hysterical and trying to dictate care, demanding a CT when it wasn't indicated and I was trying to explain it to the parents (who were calm and reasonable). She was freaking the kid out! I only ask parents who don't like blood to leave the room when I sew up a kid so they don't pass out. And I ask all of them to sit in a chair, just in case! We are busy enough without another patient. I often find that talking thru things and some topical numbing make things a lot better. Waiting a little for the numbing gel to work also gives the little one time to calm down and lets the older kids get themselves mentally prepared. If your kid needs stitches, ask about it. It may take longer to get in and out, but it makes things more comfortable in cases when it can be used.

[iheartchacos]

I wouldn't doubt some families have some kind of makeshift version of this torture trap!

Surprisingly, I don't remember too much emphasis on masturbation during my fundie years.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Okay, I'll bite. Exactly, what kind of actual users is this marketed for? What is its' intended purpose?

It is a medical device, used to restrain uncooperative patients (especially children) during medical procedures where you need to keep very still.

No masturbation involved.

[FJismyheadship]

My daughter had a cap put on her tooth (crazy stroller ride) and they wouldn't let me in the back with her. She had just turned a year old. And they gave her a popsicle afterwards, which although that isn't a bad thing usually, she has to have ALL LIQUIDS thickened and cannot eat a popsicle. Silent aspiration and all that. I was so scared she was going to choke on it. But if they had let me back there, I could have told them that. They didn't even ask if she could have one, or if she had any medical problems and that bothered me. Hopefully we wont have to worry about that again. But now I make it a point to tell EVERYONE she comes in contact with who might have to give her a drink or a snack.

[lemondrop]

Is anyone else guiltily, and very quietly thinking "shut up and take my money"? Because I have a three year old who, when it's getting close to bedtime, shuttle-sprints while screeching, jumps between furniture like he's live-acting a berserker level of Super Mario Brothers, and literally climbs walls, backwards. We have marble-tile-on-concrete floors in our apartment. I don't care if he plays with his pee pee in that thing, I'll even leave a hand untied if I can have a short break from concussion prevention duty. Maybe a weighted blanket would be more humane. Or a puppy crate. He's pretty small. ;)

[itsnotmeitsu]

I am glad that is a joke. That actually looks abusive if used other than in a hospital temporarily.

Having been a frequent flyer in a papoose board in the early 80s, that looks a little more comfy than what I got stuck in.

[docmom]

Who needs the cross when you can just beat the crap out of them? Save your money and buy more plumbing line.

On a more serious note, when my son was little and needed his IV medications (he didn't have a port) we'd restrain him in his car seat and then one of us would hold his arm and the other would do the infusion. He watched videos and generally did pretty well with the restraint.

[browngrl]

I've never used that restraint in CT - if a child (but sometimes an adult) will not lie still - we just sedate them. For MRI (which are much longer than CT) children who can not keep still often need anesthesia. However we do use a device called a "pigg o stat". When I first heard the name I laughed out loud and asked if the tech was serious. Here is a picture: {image deleted - it was too big and I don't know how to size it: just google pigg o stat]

Babies are not hurt while in the device but they do often scream (even if mom/dad is right there). I have to admit I don't mind the screaming so much: a child who has the energy to scream and put up a fight is not nearly as sick as one who just lies there limp and passive AND the tech will wait till the child takes in a big breath to start screaming again and I get a good inspiration view.

edited to remove image because I have always depended on the kindness of strangers to handle all computer related issues for me and am unable to figure out how to size the image

[ViolaSebastian]

It makes it look like their trying to send the child through a pnuematic tube at the bank...

[Miggy]

"unconditional love" would freak fun dies out, it's a foreign concept to them.

Pure love is another translation, as in what God has for us rather than romantic love. That's why fundies love it. Common middle name amongst the fundies I know.

[already hungover]

When I was two or so, my mom (mother of the year) asked me to go get her a pinking shears from the kitchen while she wrapped Christmas gifts. Since I was, you know, a TODDLER, I tripped and fell on the open scissors while walking with it. Onto my eye. I screamed and freaked out, as most people would do if they sliced their eyeball with a fucking pinking shears. I was quite verbal and tried to explain why I was crying. My mom told me that I hadn't cut my eye at all and since I was crying, it was time for bed.

I woke up at 3 AM screaming inconsolably. My mother finally relented and brought me to the ER, where the resident on call insisted on strapping me to a papoose board. Mom tried to tell the guy that if he explained what he was going to do, I'd lay still, but he was persuasive and I ended up strapped down. This pushed me over the edge and I totally lost my shit. The pain from my severely lacerated eyeball was nothing compared to the sheer terror of being stuck on that board. I cried until I puked, still restrained flat on my back. To this day I HATE throwing up and am terrified of feeling restrained. I can't even sleep with my feet under the covers because I feel trapped.

The worst part is that the whole experience made me afraid of Asian men, as the doctor was a young Korean guy. My DAD is Korean so that was kind of awkward for us all for a few months. This is my earliest memory.

[ILoveJellybeans]

When I was two or so, my mom (mother of the year) asked me to go get her a pinking shears from the kitchen while she wrapped Christmas gifts. Since I was, you know, a TODDLER, I tripped and fell on the open scissors while walking with it. Onto my eye. I screamed and freaked out, as most people would do if they sliced their eyeball with a fucking pinking shears. I was quite verbal and tried to explain why I was crying. My mom told me that I hadn't cut my eye at all and since I was crying, it was time for bed.

I woke up at 3 AM screaming inconsolably. My mother finally relented and brought me to the ER, where the resident on call insisted on strapping me to a papoose board. Mom tried to tell the guy that if he explained what he was going to do, I'd lay still, but he was persuasive and I ended up strapped down. This pushed me over the edge and I totally lost my shit. The pain from my severely lacerated eyeball was nothing compared to the sheer terror of being stuck on that board. I cried until I puked, still restrained flat on my back. To this day I HATE throwing up and am terrified of feeling restrained. I can't even sleep with my feet under the covers because I feel trapped.

The worst part is that the whole experience made me afraid of Asian men, as the doctor was a young Korean guy. My DAD is Korean so that was kind of awkward for us all for a few months. This is my earliest memory.

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

The thought of scissors in the eye. NO. NO. NO.

[Mama Mia]

When I was two or so, my mom (mother of the year) asked me to go get her a pinking shears from the kitchen while she wrapped Christmas gifts. Since I was, you know, a TODDLER, I tripped and fell on the open scissors while walking with it. Onto my eye. I screamed and freaked out, as most people would do if they sliced their eyeball with a fucking pinking shears. I was quite verbal and tried to explain why I was crying. My mom told me that I hadn't cut my eye at all and since I was crying, it was time for bed.

I woke up at 3 AM screaming inconsolably. My mother finally relented and brought me to the ER, where the resident on call insisted on strapping me to a papoose board. Mom tried to tell the guy that if he explained what he was going to do, I'd lay still, but he was persuasive and I ended up strapped down. This pushed me over the edge and I totally lost my shit. The pain from my severely lacerated eyeball was nothing compared to the sheer terror of being stuck on that board. I cried until I puked, still restrained flat on my back. To this day I HATE throwing up and am terrified of feeling restrained. I can't even sleep with my feet under the covers because I feel trapped.

The worst part is that the whole experience made me afraid of Asian men, as the doctor was a young Korean guy. My DAD is Korean so that was kind of awkward for us all for a few months. This is my earliest memory.

Holy Crap, and I thought my first memory of slamming my hand in the church door at Easter when I was two was bad! So sorry you had to go through all that!

[Curious]

When I was two or so, my mom (mother of the year) asked me to go get her a pinking shears from the kitchen while she wrapped Christmas gifts. Since I was, you know, a TODDLER, I tripped and fell on the open scissors while walking with it. Onto my eye. I screamed and freaked out, as most people would do if they sliced their eyeball with a fucking pinking shears. I was quite verbal and tried to explain why I was crying. My mom told me that I hadn't cut my eye at all and since I was crying, it was time for bed.

I woke up at 3 AM screaming inconsolably. My mother finally relented and brought me to the ER, where the resident on call insisted on strapping me to a papoose board. Mom tried to tell the guy that if he explained what he was going to do, I'd lay still, but he was persuasive and I ended up strapped down. This pushed me over the edge and I totally lost my shit. The pain from my severely lacerated eyeball was nothing compared to the sheer terror of being stuck on that board. I cried until I puked, still restrained flat on my back. To this day I HATE throwing up and am terrified of feeling restrained. I can't even sleep with my feet under the covers because I feel trapped.

The worst part is that the whole experience made me afraid of Asian men, as the doctor was a young Korean guy. My DAD is Korean so that was kind of awkward for us all for a few months. This is my earliest memory.

oh my gosh! That sounds awful. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I will never understand why drs do not listen to parents (or patients, in general) when it comes to their kids, since they generally know them pretty well. I realize there are exceptions, but for the most part, if your kid is at the ER or Dr. you are going to give them accurate info to help your kid.

When my son was just about 2 he had been sick for a few days and I'd already had him to the dr. and they felt like he was just having some kid gunk. He had just started day care not too long before so had been sick off and on pretty much the whole time. This particular night, I felt like his breathing just wasn't right and I'd been through him having apnea as a newborn and no one believing me until a nurse finally saw it and then suddenly it was off to the NICU like they had made a great new discovery :evil-eye:

So I called the dr. and said I was bringing him up to the ER. He had been running a little temp, but nothing huge. By the time we got to the ER he was at like 103 or so. So they listened to him, said something was wrong and wanted to break the fever. I said don't break the fever if you want him to stay quiet. They got the results back from tests and it was epiglotitis, so they needed to put him on a ventilator. They stressed to us how important it was to keep him QUIET and not let him cry or get upset because they may have to do a tracheotomy in that case. It was *that* serious.

I'm like ok great! Don't break his fever and we are golden. He was super pathetic with a fever. So they start calling in the surgical team to put him on the vent and when I was off filling out paperwork or something and he was with his dad they gave him ibuprofen to break the fever. Twenty minutes later he is running up and down the halls of the ER like a wild man. If I tried to hold him he would immediately start SCREAMING to be put down and they'd all SCREAM at me to put him down so he would not be upset. So he got to have his way with the ER until the surgical team got there. It was insanity. He was so full of energy that had been building up while he was feeling puny. I just looked at them and said "I told you not to break the fever!"

[Rebelwife]

oh my gosh! That sounds awful. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I will never understand why drs do not listen to parents (or patients, in general) when it comes to their kids, since they generally know them pretty well. I realize there are exceptions, but for the most part, if your kid is at the ER or Dr. you are going to give them accurate info to help your kid.

When my son was just about 2 he had been sick for a few days and I'd already had him to the dr. and they felt like he was just having some kid gunk. He had just started day care not too long before so had been sick off and on pretty much the whole time. This particular night, I felt like his breathing just wasn't right and I'd been through him having apnea as a newborn and no one believing me until a nurse finally saw it and then suddenly it was off to the NICU like they had made a great new discovery :evil-eye:

So I called the dr. and said I was bringing him up to the ER. He had been running a little temp, but nothing huge. By the time we got to the ER he was at like 103 or so. So they listened to him, said something was wrong and wanted to break the fever. I said don't break the fever if you want him to stay quiet. They got the results back from tests and it was epiglotitis, so they needed to put him on a ventilator. They stressed to us how important it was to keep him QUIET and not let him cry or get upset because they may have to do a tracheotomy in that case. It was *that* serious.

I'm like ok great! Don't break his fever and we are golden. He was super pathetic with a fever. So they start calling in the surgical team to put him on the vent and when I was off filling out paperwork or something and he was with his dad they gave him ibuprofen to break the fever. Twenty minutes later he is running up and down the halls of the ER like a wild man. If I tried to hold him he would immediately start SCREAMING to be put down and they'd all SCREAM at me to put him down so he would not be upset. So he got to have his way with the ER until the surgical team got there. It was insanity. He was so full of energy that had been building up while he was feeling puny. I just looked at them and said "I told you not to break the fever!"

That's how my youngest is, too. She tends to run really high fevers when she's not all that sick (I won't even take her to the doctor if she's not approaching 104 usually) and she's gets very quiet and docile. Since her usual setting is "11" this is a huge difference. As a matter of fact, the only time she's ever been really sick, I took her in because her fever finally broke and went from 103 to 100 and she was still quiet and docile. Turns out she had a raging case of bacterial pneumonia in both lungs.