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Gather your courage, homemakers!


Lisa

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Lady Lydia was my gateway into the fundiesphere, and she remains my favorite head-smacking read. Her agoraphobia and learned helplessness have reached a new height today:

Women cannot depend on men to run the home, and so they must gather up their courage and tackle the job with all the strength and determination they can muster. Men must often be away from home, sometimes for weeks at a time, and the women at home can it just give up and wait for the men to be home before they do their duty at home. We can take a lesson from the brave widows who, left with children to raise, applied themselves to the task and did an admirable job on their own, with no complaining or resentment.

:shock:

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My poor brave husband...I travel for work, and he just can't handle washing dishes or throwing a load of laundry in the washer *eyeroll*

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My poor brave husband...I travel for work, and he just can't handle washing dishes or throwing a load of laundry in the washer *eyeroll*

I hope you give that poor, martyred Headship a medal every time he does a lady job. :lol:

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The previous post has me all :angry-banghead: It's called "Porch Living" (which is nuts, but moving on) and Lydia offers us a picture of her backyard... which is a godawful freaking mess! Supposedly one of the advantages of being a "keeper and guardian of the home" is that you can do things like get the garden in order and keep the house spruce. She doesn't have an hour to go around with a weedwacker? She can't get a can of paint? I am utterly baffled as to how she spends her day. How much time can a 60-year-old woman devote to resting and crafting with fleece and glitter?

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Lady Lydia shows what happens when 'home' is your entire world. Her living room got new flooring and it turned the entire universe upside down.

I do have a little soft spot for her. I think she could have some degree of mental illness. I don't think she has updated about her kids recently. I have been curious as to what they are up to.

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The previous post has me all :angry-banghead: It's called "Porch Living" (which is nuts, but moving on) and Lydia offers us a picture of her backyard... which is a godawful freaking mess! Supposedly one of the advantages of being a "keeper and guardian of the home" is that you can do things like get the garden in order and keep the house spruce. She doesn't have an hour to go around with a weedwacker? She can't get a can of paint? I am utterly baffled as to how she spends her day. How much time can a 60-year-old woman devote to resting and crafting with fleece and glitter?

it probably takes ages to hand wash all the tea sets :lol:

in her defense those weeds do grow wicked fast, we had them at a rent house once. A couple weeks of a lot rain and wham, jungle living. Still, without kids to manage you'd think she would have been on top of it better than that.

And no it wouldn't take a freakin' crew to paint her house. My grandma remodeled a house in her 70's -- moved a ton of heavy antiques by herself and yanked out carpet and refinished wood floors, and sanded and repainted the woodwork all while keeping up with Oprah and Dancing with the Stars.) :lol:

homeliving.blogspot.com/

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Lady Lydia shows what happens when 'home' is your entire world. Her living room got new flooring and it turned the entire universe upside down.

I do have a little soft spot for her. I think she could have some degree of mental illness. I don't think she has updated about her kids recently. I have been curious as to what they are up to.

So do I, mostly because she was my first. Also, her life fills me with a kind of horror; she never seems to read anything interesting, do anything challenging, or even have any real friends. :cry:

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it probably takes ages to hand wash all the tea sets :lol:

in her defense those weeds do grow wicked fast, we had them at a rent house once. A couple weeks of a lot rain and wham, jungle living. Still, without kids to manage you'd think she would have been on top of it better than that.

And no it wouldn't take a freakin' crew to paint her house. My grandma remodeled a house in her 70's -- moved a ton of heavy antiques by herself and yanked out carpet and refinished wood floors, and sanded and repainted the woodwork all while keeping up with Oprah and Dancing with the Stars.) :lol:

homeliving.blogspot.com/

We've been getting daily rainstorms followed by hot sun, so I have to go out nearly every night to pluck thistles that seem to come out of freaking nowhere, so yeah. But I work full-time as well and... that house is not really in good shape at all. The distance between what she preaches and what she practices is a bit much.

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It could be mental illness, home maintenance is not fun without someone to show it off to... but if she's blogging it wouldn't that give her the push she needed? I feel sorry for her if she doesn't have a lot of friends... Best way to get things done is throw a party lol

And, not to be judgy but if she could get on a ladder and hang net she could probably paint. Just saying :D

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Getting on a ladder could allow someone to look up her dress! :oops:

On a more serious note, Lydia is always talking about "guarding the home." It seems to be a theme among fundie bloggers. I wonder if this is because they assume they are under siege from the evil, secular world, or if it's part of their weird tendency to overcomplicate homemaking. By that I mean that they're always talking about how spending a few months learning how to cook is like a PhD. in homemaking, giving elaborate instructions for simple tasks, and setting weirdly specific standards for simple tasks.

Obviously, looking after a house and family absorbs a lot of time and energy, but they make it sounds like some arcane science, and then show off pictures of weedy lawns, crap meals served on paper plates, and ugly, low-quality home-made clothes and crafts. It's something I will never understand.

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Sounds to me like her husband has been ragging her ass about what she does all day, LOL.

For anyone who would ask what this non-working empty nester does, based on her blog, the answer would be "not a hell of a lot."

Lady Lydia... you are always a wtf moment for me.

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Sounds to me like her husband has been ragging her ass about what she does all day, LOL.

For anyone who would ask what this non-working empty nester does, based on her blog, the answer would be "not a hell of a lot."

Lady Lydia... you are always a wtf moment for me.

Hmm, that's brings up an interesting question. I'm pretty sure Pastor Sherman (?) is significantly older than Lady Lydia. Is he still working full-time? What on earth must it be like to be in your late 60s or early 70s, working all the time, with a partner who sits around making fake tea out of frozen berries and blogging.

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Hmm, that's brings up an interesting question. I'm pretty sure Pastor Sherman (?) is significantly older than Lady Lydia. Is he still working full-time? What on earth must it be like to be in your late 60s or early 70s, working all the time, with a partner who sits around making fake tea out of frozen berries and blogging.

Well, working might be better than being at home, surrounded by a tsunami of pink, flowers, and lace.

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Men must often be away from home, sometimes for weeks at a time

Okay, I can think of a few jobs like that, the biggest being military, but I'd say at least 95% of working men have jobs where they come home every day. Honey, if your man tells you he's sleeping away from home, find out why!

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Okay, I can think of a few jobs like that, the biggest being military, but I'd say at least 95% of working men have jobs where they come home every day. Honey, if your man tells you he's sleeping away from home, find out why!

I'm going to be gone for a week at a conference, honey, be sure to keep the home well-guarded.

Oh, how manly! I suppose I'll just have to be brave while you're gone.

You do that

Why do you have your fishing equipment?

It's for, um, a demonstration! Fishers of men! Get it?

....no.

I'll see you in a week.

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homeliving.blogspot.com/2011/04/should-christian-husbands-asks-their.html

Apparently there is one area that Christian wives should disobey their husbands-- and that is if the husband asks the wife to get a job.

If a husband truly understands God's word, he will not hint, ask, pressure, demand or command his wife to "get a job." He is less of a man if he does, because he is expecting her to be a provider. The Christian husband is supposed to be the provider.

When the wife becomes a co- provider, she takes on the responsibilities that God has given to her husband. The man loses a piece of his masculinity and will be forever dependent on his wife's salary, and she forfeits a part of her natural womanliness by leaving the feminine concerns of the home that were designed for her by God. The husband becomes dependent upon her salary and loses his sense of urgency and drive to earn a living.

Instead, a Christian husband should be dependent upon his wife in the ways that require her feminine strengths to care for and guide the home. Her work at home advances his health and well-being so that he may be motivated to make provision for his family.

Christian women have a spiritual obligation to be keepers at home: Titus 2:5. When a woman goes to work outside the home, there is great neglect of the family, the house, and other home-based obligations.Being home protects her from the stresses of other people's work schedules and other people's demands and dominance over her time and life. Being home provides her with the freedom to be creative in her management of her time and her work. If a man really wants to protect his wife, he should not send her to work where she will be under the authority of other people.

Where God has already spoken, no man can over-rule. Where God has been specific, we are not free to make up another law that contradicts it. Titus 2 is direct: women should be taught to be taught to love their husbands and children and guide the home. Being keepers at home gives them more time and the opportunity to extend this love and watch over the things that go on in the home.

So, I guess i should quit my job, stay home to keep it "purdy" and have my husband hire another person (likely a woman, and given the salary I've been taking, likely younger, lol) to travel with him for 2-3 weeks a month. That way, I can be a truly godly woman. I can also cut our household income by a nice little chunk. And, I'm not sure wtf I'd do all day. No kids. Less money to go see people I know. I guess I'd finaly have no excuse not to workout-- alot. I'd not have money to redo the house over and over again, and it doesn't take that much to keep a clean house clean. I could cook more gourmet, but that isn't cheap. I already can a lot of things.

Is writing a book the same as having a job? I'll need to know the rules if I'm going to quit working . Maybe I should ask her directly (though her comments are turned off on this one, I wonder why?) :think:

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homeliving.blogspot.com/2011/04/should-christian-husbands-asks-their.html

Apparently there is one area that Christian wives should disobey their husbands-- and that is if the husband asks the wife to get a job.

So, I guess i should quit my job, stay home to keep it "purdy" and have my husband hire another person (likely a woman, and given the salary I've been taking, likely younger, lol) to travel with him for 2-3 weeks a month. That way, I can be a truly godly woman. I can also cut our household income by a nice little chunk. And, I'm not sure wtf I'd do all day. No kids. Less money to go see people I know. I guess I'd finaly have no excuse not to workout-- alot. I'd not have money to redo the house over and over again, and it doesn't take that much to keep a clean house clean. I could cook more gourmet, but that isn't cheap. I already can a lot of things.

Is writing a book the same as having a job? I'll need to know the rules if I'm going to quit working . Maybe I should ask her directly (though her comments are turned off on this one, I wonder why?) :think:

proverbs 31 woman and history totally elude that lady. Women have worked with their husbands in business for hundreds of years. Less of a man because their wife works too...how condescending can you get. No man I have been with so far has come across that me working means they would not have to work and can be lazy. Besides, if I stay home, I'll probably be more lazy than if I work. I'd spend my days writing and on the computer. Because there's only so much cleaning you can do for two people after all. Thanks to modern conveniences, the machines do the washing of clothes and dishes and chop/slice my foods for me. I hate cutting up foods. I can do the cooking part no sweat, but I am not so good at the slicing/cutting/chopping of foods part.

I'd be so bored. I get bored even now while I am not working and looking for a job. My days are filled with job hunting, applying, cleaning/cooking, and caring for my dogs...but I still get bored about everyday. I end up watching Netflix and writing and doing my daily exposure lessons and listening/practicing Telugu and doing meditation/yoga/dog walking. Still seems unproductive.

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The biblical poem Woman of Valor doesn't seem to me to be describing a strictly stay at home wife at all.

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So what happens when a man gives away pieces of his masculinity or women give up pieces of their femininity? I'm still trying to figure out what the dire consequences are :think:

Not only do I work outside the home, I make more than 2x as much as my husband. It took a bit of adjustment but we are OK with this as both our lives have benefited from me making more money. In general we are both happy, even if we aren't traditional according to Lydia.

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I wonder which piece of his maculinity my husband lost? I know him pretty well (married 15 years) and everything seems to be in its place. Maybe I just need to look a little harder...

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I think I must be a fundie wife's worst nightmare. I do not clean. My husband enjoys that, so he does it. I work two jobs, and take pieces of my husband's masculinity by asking him to watch our daughter while I work that second job. I also rob his masculinity by providing us with food and healthcare. When you have children, the heavy burden can not fall on one person, otherwise, why be married.

What happens to these women if and when their husbands die or leave? I give up my femininity so that I have money when I get old and a car that I got to pick out on my own. I find it really frustrating when I see women constantly having to ask permission from their spouse to spend the least little bit of money. I don't have to do that, and I feel like we have a better relationship because I don't feel like a leech.

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And now she's putting up new curtains outside. On trees. Like you do. I cannot look away. :shock:

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And now she's putting up new curtains outside. On trees. Like you do. I cannot look away. :shock:

This woman..... lately she has preached on women not working, even if their husbands want them to. And now this about not paying attention to world events because they don't impact her homemaking....and I don't spend hours listening to the news... but I like to know what is happening in the world, because my horizons go beyond my kitchen sink.

And a few days ago, she piped in with this bit which I am pretty sure is fiction....

There is something else you need to know, that is very important, about listening to silly, unregenerate talk. It puts a bad taste in people's mouths (a figure of speech meaning a bad memory) that they cannot get rid of. I once was a guest at a ladies gathering where one of the other guests began talking about her anatomy "in the vernacular".

The other ladies were embarrassed but never said anything and some of them got up and went into the kitchen, while others bravely tried to change the subject. It was even more serious that there were some little girls sitting politely by their mothers. The words they heard would be replayed in their memories and pollute their minds with thoughts that would crowd out innocent childhood thinking.

The older ladies were so disturbed by such foul talk (including bathroom and bedroom talk) that some of them departed with deeply glum expressions. I heard later that a couple of the more refined guests went home and wept for their sister in Christ who had been so thoughtless. Although she was eventually enlightened by a very kind lady, the damage had been done and could not be undone.

I have learned, over the years, that the older ladies are at least as knowledgable as the younger ones about body functions and have their own vernacular-- not to mention, what a bunch of wimpy women if someone was so nasty talking during lunch or tea that they scurried to the kitchen and went home to cry instead of saying "Really, susan, cool it a bit with the kids in the room."

Understand, I don't talk about health issues or specifics of my own sex life with anyone. But I also don't have the vapors if someone else complains about cramps or hot flashes.

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And a few days ago, she piped in with this bit which I am pretty sure is fiction....

Oooooooh, yeah. I don't believe for one minute that she has any kind of social life, at least not with human adults. It's like Cartman having tea with his dollies, only even weirder. :evil-eye:

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