Rules for dating my daughter- How it should be

[Knight of Ni]

https://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/-femi ... 33847.html

Finally a father with the right view on daughters dating.

1. I don't make the rules

2. You don't make the rules

3. She makes the rules

4. Her body, her rules

I applaud this father for his health view of dating. I can imagine that he has raised his daughter to be confident in her own body and confident to state what she is comfortable with in a relationship.

[Jana814]

Love this. I wish some Fundie father's would follow this. But I doubt that will happen.

[Mama Mia]

I 99% agree. And agree 100% if the daughter is an adult. But as someone whose hormones kicked in waaaaaayyyyy too early, :embarrassed: and had much more libido than brains - there might need to be a couple modifiers on there, at least for children.

That other one making the rounds on Facebook is absolutely awful and creepy.

[FJismyheadship]

Whats the other one?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Whats the other one?

The other ones I have seen going around contain threats to the guy, about owning a gun and knowing how to use it, telling him not to have sex with her...theres also a mother/son one that paints son's future girlfriend as a gold digger.

[Want More Babies]

I love this! As a mother of an adult daughter, it is her body, and she can decide what she wants to do.

[RandomTrivia]

Whats the other one?

Haven't seen them on Facebook in a while, but do a Google search on "rules for dating my daughter" or son, and look at the image results. Anyone who acts like the son in the one from Mom won't be dating much, she'd be a miserable mother-in-law.

joeberhardt.com/2014/01/17/rules-for-dating-my-son-no-thanks/ has pictures of one version of each (and a more sane opinion of both). Although the "son" version there doesn't have "No matter what, he'll always love me most."

[fuglyexfundy]

Haven't seen them on Facebook in a while, but do a Google search on "rules for dating my daughter" or son, and look at the image results. Anyone who acts like the son in the one from Mom won't be dating much, she'd be a miserable mother-in-law.

joeberhardt.com/2014/01/17/rules-for-dating-my-son-no-thanks/ has pictures of one version of each (and a more sane opinion of both). Although the "son" version there doesn't have "No matter what, he'll always love me most."

My kids are not of dating age yet, but...

I think those rules are unfortunately accurate reflections of the attitudes of many helicopter/me-entitled parents. It's no wonder the kids of these people are failures as adults in the relationship area. If you raised your kid right and helped them to gain a sense of self-respect combined with empathy for others, these creepy lists would be laughable as opposed to sad and common.

No sane adult wants to date someone with an attached umbilical chord. Momma's boys/MIL are the worst (cut em loose, speaking from experience). At age of majority, my kids dating decisions are their own...not my business no matter how I may (or hopefully not) worry. I raised them (both genders), they've got to do the rest.

I hope that fiance of Jasmine's knows what he's getting himself into....

[fuglyexfundy]

I'd also tell these parents that their opposite gender kid is not a surrogate spouse. Stop acting as a jealous lover and get your own life.

[Full enough quiver]

I love this! I figure if my girls are old enough to date, They're old enough to set their own rules as to what they are comfortable with physically. They are educated about their bodies, and how to protect themselves from unplanned pregnancy and diseases. We are very open with them. My husband and I have always respected their opinions, as well as their bodily autonomy. They have the self confidence to be comfortable saying no. We have no rules as far as when they can date, and, within reason, who they can date. I think it's important that they have relationships with people of both genders. They have friends that are male, and they spend time with them both alone and in groups. They are to treat all people, male and female, the way they want to be treated. I'd rather they gain experience with relationships while under our roof and guidance, than forbid anything, only for them to do whatever they want when they go off to college.

[nausicaa]

I seriously love you guys sometimes. I hate, hate, hate all of the "Dad's against Daughters Dating" and the "time to buy a shotgun" stuff. And I mostly see this coming from my non-religious, otherwise open-minded friends. I don't understand why more people don't see how misogynistic, controlling, and slut shaming all of this is.

No, you're not going to tell your daughter she can't date until she's thirty. Once she's eighteen she's an adult and you don't get a say in the matter. Her body does not belong to you and she isn't defined by her number of sexual partners.

[fuglyexfundy]

I seriously love you guys sometimes. I hate, hate, hate all of the "Dad's against Daughters Dating" and the "time to buy a shotgun" stuff. And I mostly see this coming from my non-religious, otherwise open-minded friends. I don't understand why more people don't see how misogynistic, controlling, and slut shaming all of this is.

No, you're not going to tell your daughter she can't date until she's thirty. Once she's eighteen she's an adult and you don't get a say in the matter. Her body does not belong to you and she isn't defined by her number of sexual partners.

Bolded because it can't be repeated enough. No one is defined by their number or choices of their sexual partners. :clap:

It took me years, thanks to religious brainwashing, to not feel guilty about natural biological instincts and urges, that while allegedly given to me by a deity, displeased him when I couldn't control it as dictated by said deity/male religious spokesperson. I don't want that for my kids....ever.

[DGayle]

We've got an additional rule:

Treat her as happy as she will make you.

We say in jest that our girls don't get to date until they're 30, but to be honest, that's not out of "oh no sex!" It's because of how many jerks out there don't take no for an answer. We know we can't protect them forever, but we sure want to.