3 Things a Man Should Never Allow His Wife to Do

[Marianne]

From Anthony, husband of no greater joy mom.

nogreaterjoydad.com/2014/05/memorial-day-weekend-3-things-man_25.html

I know I’m gonna get in trouble with this one. Look, I am not judging men who have wives who do these things; I’m just revealing something about ME that you may not know.

Being from Dallas, Texas, I’m just different. Chivalry is in my heart. I don’t always open doors for my wife. I wish I were more attentive to that. Fact is, by the time I’m helping shove nine children into our van, the wife’s already in the car. Which brings me to the first point. When I’m in the car with my wife…

1. I NEVER LET HER DRIVE.

I use to think it was cool to doze off in the passenger seat while my girlfriend or date drove. Then I got married. Adéye doesn’t like that. I didn’t understand at first, but now I like it. You know why? Because…

I am The Man. I love the feeling of power underneath my foot pedal. (Anthony flexes his calf muscles.) If Adéye ever doubted my manhood before, now she is convinced that I am a real man. Correct that. THE Man.

Sometimes I pretend our 15-seat passenger van sports car has a stick shift. Then I’ll rev that engine and take charge of that stick. Yep. I am The Man. (Anthony gives the Zoolander “Magnum†look.)

2. I NEVER LET HER MOW THE LAWN.

Come on, guys. Really? That’s just wrong. That’s like me being on a construction site and saying, “Okay, darlin’, why don’t you take over the jackhammer for a while?â€

Now do I believe a woman is ABLE to mow her grass? Absolutely. There’s just something wrong if my wife were to come in the door after mowing and smell like B.O. and cut grass. I’m sorry. It’s just wrong. Now if YOURS TRULY did, it’s sexy.

But if the missus is out there sweating behind a Briggs-Stratton, I would just know that my neighbors are driving by, imagining me sitting on the couch looking like this…

I NEVER LET HER DO THE BARBEQUE.

Period. End of story. Why? Because only a real man can start a fire. Oh, she can cook it okay. But it’s the fire. Did Michaelangelo let Guido the Janitor hack away with his hammer and chisel to finish off his David statue? Did Michael Jordan hand the ball in midair to the popcorn seller to do his dunk for him? Did Barack Obama let a video producer take the blame for the Benghazi attack? (We'll save that for another time.) What I'm saying is, if you're the BBQ Artist, you follow through with it.

Sure, we men screw it up…oh…98% of the time. But hey. When it does get

going, who’s your daddy? And when we DO struggle getting a good fire going, we’ll never admit it.

WIFE: “Hey, honey, can we put the chicken on the grill yet?â€

WE MEN: “Ugh, yeah, in a minute, honey. I just bought the WORST charcoal! Remind me never to buy charcoal from the Dollar Store again.â€

And that’s okay. That’s one of those Rahab lies that God allows, like in the Old Testament. (Don’t be surprised, ladies. God’s a man, right?) Of course, GOD’S fires are always perfect. Case in point: Elijah with the prophets of Baal. Now that was a fire. That tells me that God could do a BBQ in a thunderstorm. During Noah's time. Under a waterfall.

And remember the burning bush? Men, we can finally kiss that lighter fluid goodbye. God knows fire. I didn't even talk about the biggest fire yet that's coming. Mixed with a little brimstone, NOBODY can match that.

So on this Memorial Day weekend, guys, step to the plate and be a man! Your wives will never look at you the same...

[Grimalkin]

Whaaaa.......

My MIL never learned how to drive a car or balance a check book. Over the years she does less and less. It's gotten to the point that when we go out to dinner she just looks at my FIL becuase she doesn't know what to order. She does nothing all day. It complains how tired she is and how she needs a break. Ugh.

Do men really like completely helpless women??? I would think it gets exhausting having to baby her all the time.

[ILoveJellybeans]

What????? He doesn't let his wife drive, or mow the lawn, or barbeque???? That's insane. You don't "let" an adult do something, as they are adults and can do things themselves. Its not like she is one of his kids.

Women can mow lawns, drive and barbeque if they want to.

You don't push a lawnmower with your dick, you use your hands, and it isn't that hard.

You don't drive a car with your dick, you use your hands and feet. It isn't that hard.

And I am certain Anthony's dick doesn't shoot fire well enough to cook meat.

[jerkit]

These are just weird.

Also, does he think his wife won't shower after mowing the lawn?

[Coco]

I NEVER LET HER DRIVE. Sometimes I pretend our 15-seat passenger van sports car has a stick shift. Then I’ll rev that engine and take charge of that stick. Yep. I am The Man. (Anthony gives the Zoolander “Magnum†look.)

Wife fixes engine after hubby burns out motor pretending to drive stick. Wife smacks hubby for giving the zoolander magnum look.

I NEVER LET HER MOW THE LAWN.

Wife flips out after 30 years of not mowing and shocks the neighbors. (who never gave a damn anyway)

I NEVER LET HER DO THE BARBEQUE. Because only a real man can start a fire.

Well you just better hope she knows how to drive the van like a sports car, Cowboy, in case that shit blows up in your face.

[louisa05]

I don't mow the lawn. Freshly cut grass is an asthma trigger for me. I did over half of the yard clean up from our hail storm last week by myself, though.

And husband does the grilling because he likes to, not because it makes him feel manly.

We split the driving on road trips. Otherwise, whoever has the keys in hand drives.

My mother-in-law drives but only in the small town they live in, but she has never mown a lawn, done the smallest task in a yard, touched a snow shovel, put gas in a car, and the list goes on...This is a bit of a problem for me as it has led to my husband believing me genetically incapable--by virtue of chromosomes-- of helping with many normal household tasks. I get really sick of sitting on the couch while he works outside especially and have to demand to help him. And sometimes he early on, he acted offended that I offer. He is more and more, though, realizing that his parents' dynamic is not good and that if something happens to his father (as has been the case with my parents) his mother won't be able to function, let alone manage stuff on her own while caregiving the way my mother has done.

[Coco]

Did Michaelangelo let Guido the Janitor hack away with his hammer and chisel to finish off his David statue? Did Michael Jordan hand the ball in midair to the popcorn seller to do his dunk for him? Did Barack Obama let a video producer take the blame for the Benghazi attack? (We'll save that for another time.)

ok how about right now you watch this video, mr. lame comparisons?

[bBvideo 560,340:cji0it96]http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/21ouz3/bullet-points-over-benghazi---the-outrage-spot[/bBvideo]

[momof2treasures]

Yes I could do all those things! But I refuse to mow the lawn, grill and while I do drive I also do not do car maintenance. Why? Because I cook all our meals, change diapers, do laundry etc etc. I would rather let him have those "manly" chores than be stuck doing everything. I also manage all financial things even though I don't work and he does. It makes things a little more even around here.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I'm wondering if that post was meant to be funny, or at least a bit tongue in cheek? It's hard to tell tone over the internet. I read some more of his blog and her blog, and they actually come across as really decent people. I got the sense (and I hope I'm right) that he doesn't define his manhood by his driving or BBQ, but by his relationships with his family and God. His post about his daughter Hasya was very sweet. It was a contrast from Ken, who seriously seems to think that he's a manly man who should be telling men to control their wives and stop doing wimpy things like caring for the babies or listen to their wives if they don't feel like sex at any point.

FWIW, I do most of the driving and all of the BBQing - on the grill that I assembled.

[FJismyheadship]

Excuse me, but what is wrong with a woman doing construction work or using a jackhammer? I helped a friend flip a house, and when he pulled up in his truck, pulled down the tail gate, and I saw the jackhammer, I said "Cool! Can I try!?" I had always wanted to try one before, and I got to do it! I even have a picture of me using a jackhammer! And I overheard my friend later "That jackhammer is as big as she is, but she just went in and got it done"

As for mowing the grass, well I don't have a mower, but I have a tiny yard, so I take a weedwacker to it. and I enjoy doing it.

BBQing... well I have never actually barbequed on a grill before... but I would be willing to try it.

And I don't think its sexy for a man to come in smelling like grass and body odor. Gross. Go take a shower.

He clearly thinks too highly of himself.

[Coco]

I'm wondering if that post was meant to be funny, or at least a bit tongue in cheek? It's hard to tell tone over the internet. I read some more of his blog and her blog, and they actually come across as really decent people. I got the sense (and I hope I'm right) that he doesn't define his manhood by his driving or BBQ, but by his relationships with his family and God. His post about his daughter Hasya was very sweet. It was a contrast from Ken, who seriously seems to think that he's a manly man who should be telling men to control their wives and stop doing wimpy things like caring for the babies or listen to their wives if they don't feel like sex at any point.

FWIW, I do most of the driving and all of the BBQing - on the grill that I assembled.

:worship: rock on!

[Coco]

Yes I could do all those things! But I refuse to mow the lawn, grill and while I do drive I also do not do car maintenance. Why? Because I cook all our meals, change diapers, do laundry etc etc. I would rather let him have those "manly" chores than be stuck doing everything. I also manage all financial things even though I don't work and he does. It makes things a little more even around here.

me too, but hopefully your hubby isn't over the top about it like this guy. :lol: he probably was posting tongue in cheek to get us snarkers going.

but still their blog name is super similar to the Pearls' blog name :evil:

[2xx1xy1JD]

I was worried about the blog name when I took a look, but it is definitely NOT advocating the Pearls. "No greater joy" is a line from the bible about children, and that line existed long before the Pearls totally perverted its meaning. From what I read, they actually sound like good fundie adoptive parents - they are realistic about special needs, actually get proper care for the kids, and see the kids as blessings and not little bundles of evil.

[samurai_sarah]

I NEVER LET HER DO THE BARBEQUE. Because only a real man can start a fire.

So...I'm a real man now, because I'm always in charge of the fire, when we bbq? Not quite what I was expecting of today. Bit of a blow, really. But I'll be okay as a real man, I suppose. :? :roll:

[cindyluvs24]

Perhaps that guy reads here:

1. If your wife "lets" you decide for her what she will or won't do, she's either:

(a) excessively boring or

(b) cognitively impaired.

2. Pretending your van is a cool sports car and you control its mighty stick.... Google Freud.

3. A grill is a controlled fire for cooking. If you want to make it your exclusive domain, have at it. Of course, that means you are perfectly capable of exercising dominion over the oven and stove knobs and cook a freakin meal indoors for your wife and 9 kids.

4. Is there some reason your wife cannot take a shower and change her clothes when she comes in after mowing the lawn? Perhaps she doesn't realize this is an option. See #1(b)

[turquoise]

Oh, how cute! He pretends to drive a stick shift. That's supposed to impress me, a woman who has driven a stick shift car daily for over 20 years?

[bumblebee]

Hee, this is hilarious. It's almost a satire of how a "modern" suburban man is supposed to view "manly" tasks. Notice there isn't anything about chopping logs or hauling coal sacks for the fire, I bet he has the kind where you press the switch and it powers to life whilst fantasising he's a rebel or a SEAL or something.

Driving: nothing about off roading or long road trips, or bragging about a good car, in fact mentioning an old van, fantasising about driving strick (which I used to do everyday until I got an automatic last year).

Probably enjoys the “power under his foot†on the drive to work and down to the store. And news flash dude, as much as a lot of guys think cars=manly, clearly not otherwise we wouldn’t let teenagers drive them.

One of my first boyfriends had a father who hated mowing the lawn but clearly thought his leaf blower was the height of male power (his wife actually had to do the less fun job of mowing the lawn).

Hey I say let him have his “manliness†he clearly has so little work with in the first place. Unless it is actually tongue in cheek.

[Evil Feminist]

Bullshit! I love doing all three of these things... oh jeez, did I mention I am a woman?

Driving? I'm usually more than happy to let my husband drive, but sometimes I want to drive and he LOVES getting to take a break from driving. (he drives a LOT for his job)

I can start a fire just as well as anybody, if not faster! Been practicing since I was a kid on camping trips. So I had no idea only a real man could start a fire....

And mowing the lawn, well, I actually prefer to weedeat, so that's how we split the yardwork. Because of personal preferences, not because mowing makes Mr EF more manly or sexy. He was worried when we first married that I thought I had to help with the yardwork. I finally convinced him that I really do LIKE weedeating and wanted to do it. (makes me feel tough and builds upper body strength)

Oh my Gawd! This guy is just making me so freaking mad. Stupid misogynystic ass :pull-hair:

[scc12]

uh,I'm guessing he doesn't allow her to work either.God forbid she should ever bring home a paycheck...esp. if it's more that his! That would make his penis shrink 10 sizes smaller than it already is. (and I'm sure he doesn't have a microscope). :P

[2xx1xy1JD]

Seriously, people, read the rest of the blog. In context, it seems pretty clear that this is meant to be funny. The message I'm getting from the other posts is "real men have the courage to adopt orphans with special needs who are being raised in appalling Bulgarian orphanages." Those orphanages do seem to be truly horrific, and this family seems to be truly loving and caring to their kids, so I won't snark.

[scc12]

I bet he would shut up if he had a medical problem and his wife had to drive.My hub has seizures so I know all about having to do all the driving.

[salex]

When I popped out to the blog and saw the graphics with the post, I thought it was meant as funny, not real.

[turquoise]

Seriously, people, read the rest of the blog. In context, it seems pretty clear that this is meant to be funny. The message I'm getting from the other posts is "real men have the courage to adopt orphans with special needs who are being raised in appalling Bulgarian orphanages." Those orphanages do seem to be truly horrific, and this family seems to be truly loving and caring to their kids, so I won't snark.

Fair enough. I just browsed a little and agree they seem genuinely loving with their kids. I could see the Memorial Day post being tongue in cheek.

But the bit about "don't let your wife drive" hit a little too close to home to be really funny to me. It's how both my husband and I were raised, and was a source of conflict early in our marriage.

Both our families presented as something caring --men do the driving to protect their wives from having to do something difficult or dangerous. But it was also at times a means of keeping the women dependent and the men in control.

It was a real struggle for me to develop self-confidence. These days I don't take kindly to someone telling me I can't take care of myself.

[scc12]

Whaaaa.......

My MIL never learned how to drive a car or balance a check book. Over the years she does less and less. It's gotten to the point that when we go out to dinner she just looks at my FIL becuase she doesn't know what to order. She does nothing all day. It complains how tired she is and how she needs a break. Ugh.

Do men really like completely helpless women??? I would think it gets exhausting having to baby her all the time.

My late inls were the same way.FIL did it all,and MIL was seemingly 'exhausted'.She didn't even do the 'women' chores,like grocery shop (since she didn't drive,fil did it) or shop for the kids' clothes.(same again).If she wanted clothes for herself,she would point to what she wanted in the store catalog.Fil would then order it.

She fixed the side dishes at dinner (simple ones),while fil cooked the main course of meat.As far as I could tell,that was all she did.She had a maid for housework.

And oh yeah...get this.She would get ticked whenever her sons drove,and the dils didn't.I didn't get that at first,but then I realized she thought driving was WORK,and she didn't want her poor,precious sons doing anything.She thought they should be pampered the same way she was.

[Grimalkin]

My late inls were the same way.FIL did it all,and MIL was seemingly 'exhausted'.She didn't even do the 'women' chores,like grocery shop (since she didn't drive,fil did it) or shop for the kids' clothes.(same again).If she wanted clothes for herself,she would point to what she wanted in the store catalog.Fil would then order it.

She fixed the side dishes at dinner (simple ones),while fil cooked the main course of meat.As far as I could tell,that was all she did.She had a maid for housework.

And oh yeah...get this.She would get ticked whenever her sons drove,and the dils didn't.I didn't get that at first,but then I realized she thought driving was WORK,and she didn't want her poor,precious sons doing anything.She thought they should be pampered the same way she was.

Yeah, my In laws are flying in from the UK today. Not looking forward to the pursed lips of disapproval I get from mil at my not perfectly kept home. Or if dinner is not on the table at 5 sharp for my husband. Or the snide comments about me not ironing clothes....... Help! I have always shut up to keep the peace but I do t know if I can this time.