Erika Shupe says you need less entertainment

[usmcmom]

No one, but no one can suck every little piece of fun out of a child's life better than a fundy parent. Seriously, is there some course they do before becoming parents that teaches them this wonderous skill? Cos damn they all excel at it. *grimace* *barf*

(I physically cannot read her blog with all that *wink* *smile* garbage)

My sister is fundie, maybe fundie-lite. Anyway, when my first child and her first child were babies, our mother joined a book club and received two Dr. Seuss books a month. She gave one book to each grandson each month, starting when they were about six months old. I read and rocked, read and rocked, through those funny little rhymes. My sister said her baby wasn't allowed to "read" them because they were "just nonsense." Of course when I asked if I could have her half of the collection since she didn't approve of them, she said she'd have to think about it. :think: :think: :think: :think: What the......?

She also controlled her kids' eating and when her first was looking at colleges (both of her kids did leave the state for college) the thing that most excited him was the cafeteria plan on each campus because the idea of such variety and quantity of food was so new to him. I just know he left home and started stuffing his face with all sorts of crap, all the while telling his mom he was eating salads and green smoothies. If the Shupe kids get to leave home, they are going to rebel big time. At least I hope they do.

[16strong]

My sister is fundie, maybe fundie-lite. Anyway, when my first child and her first child were babies, our mother joined a book club and received two Dr. Seuss books a month. She gave one book to each grandson each month, starting when they were about six months old. I read and rocked, read and rocked, through those funny little rhymes. My sister said her baby wasn't allowed to "read" them because they were "just nonsense." Of course when I asked if I could have her half of the collection since she didn't approve of them, she said she'd have to think about it. :think: :think: :think: :think: What the......?

She also controlled her kids' eating and when her first was looking at colleges (both of her kids did leave the state for college) the thing that most excited him was the cafeteria plan on each campus because the idea of such variety and quantity of food was so new to him. I just know he left home and started stuffing his face with all sorts of crap, all the while telling his mom he was eating salads and green smoothies. If the Shupe kids get to leave home, they are going to rebel big time. At least I hope they do.

I'm a little curious to know how your sister's kids have turned out. Do they still adhere to fundamentalism? Are they still in school and can't openly rebel without great consequence? What is their dating (or not dating) life like? Inquiring (or just nosy! :lol: ) minds would love to know.

[MamaJunebug]

Why do you think Erika's teeth are so :mrgreen: WHITE and Bob's .... :think: aren't?

[Trynn]

I once ran into a woman who said that the minute she took the tv out back and chucked it, her son stopped his temper tantrum (he was a bit old for tantrums but whatever, some kids just have them at 12, I guess.)

She went on and on about how even just having the tv in the house was an invitation to the devil. It really depressed me.

My dad used to try and discourage me from reading fiction, but he never outright forbid me from reading anything.

They strictly policed every other form of entertainment, but never my reading.

[guidedbybobafett]

Some armchair psych stuff here- Erika seems very controlling, to the point where I would hazard that there's some obsessive thinking going on. She's radically strict about diet, organization, routine, and entertainment, to the point where it's almost as if she can't stop obsessing about perfection. Once she has one thing in line, she invents new areas of her and her families lives that need to be controlled through constant nitpicking and obsessing so she can never really stop. I'm almost positive she has no idea how to let anything go, and I bet she doesn't give too much up to God, either.

[guidedbybobafett]

Laura Ingalls Wilder books? Little Women?

I'm always surprised that fundie kids are allowed to read these books, as I was decidedly un-policed in all of my media and entertainment consumption and I still thought of Jo as a role model. It might have been my literary crush talking, though.

[Burris]

Her writing style is really irritating, with all those winks and smiles. The whole blog is as artificial as her schedules – but she, who has written dozens of posts (!) on organization for her social media sites, never denies herself the opportunity for the entertainment she experiences when telling other people how great she is. I wonder how many hours she has wasted online with her repetitions about the importance of micromanaging everyone’s time but her own.

[Marianne]

That's true, I'm one of those who loves nonfiction at least as much as fiction, maybe more, especially anything to do with British or American history. But the problem in this situation is that the Shupe kids no longer seem to be given a choice in the matter. How will they ever know whether they really prefer nonfiction to fiction if they aren't allowed to read any fiction? :?

I've always see history books as fictionnal books :lol: I think about George Duby, Jacques Le Goff, Marc Bloche, etc... and all the Annales School ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annales_School ) that really shows how people lived.

[browngrl]

The point is not fiction vs non fiction. The point is choice vs no choice. Erika is so controlling that she has done the emotional equivalent of foot binding on all her children.

[Jana814]

The point is not fiction vs non fiction. The point is choice vs no choice. Erika is so controlling that she has done the emotional equivalent of foot binding on all her children.

Soo true!

[lawlifelgbt]

I've actually never read Chekov- I lean towards German classic authors more, since I'm fluently bilingual (SO much better in the original language!) and was a German Studies major in college. I really like Goethe and Thomas Mann, and my favorite poet is Rilke. I'm trying to memorize "Nachtgedanken," Rilke's famous poem about Germany that he wrote while exiled to France, at the moment.

But Kafka's definitely my favorite. It so happened that we were assigned "The Metamorphosis" in class during the time I first was coming out, and struggling with depression. The story is about a normal man who wakes up one morning transformed into a giant, vile bug. He deals with how his family and others treat him, and how his "transformation" changes his worldview.

My professor posited that, since Kafka was Jewish and the book was written in the 1930s, the "becoming dehumanized" thing was an allegory and foreshadowing for how the Nazis discriminated against (and would later try to "exterminate," like insects), Jews.

I realize that's probably correct, but I identified strongly with the protagonist myself. I was undergoing my own "transformation" and dealing with how other people might then see me as "vile" or "less." I also felt as though I were like that insect inside, and hiding it, with regards to having problems, so the story really spoke to me.

[Coco]

The point is not fiction vs non fiction. The point is choice vs no choice. Erika is so controlling that she has done the emotional equivalent of foot binding on all her children.

[usmcmom]

I'm a little curious to know how your sister's kids have turned out. Do they still adhere to fundamentalism? Are they still in school and can't openly rebel without great consequence? What is their dating (or not dating) life like? Inquiring (or just nosy! :lol: ) minds would love to know.

Interestingly, they both left the state for college. The older one just graduated. He is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. He has a very scientific mind and is also very musically gifted. He calls himself a "geek" and I think he did well in college because he was with other "geeks" at a very specialized technical/science university. He impressed and surprised all of us with his success so far away from home after his rigid homeschooled life. The younger one just completed freshman year at college. He was much more social and outgoing when he was home, but struggled more in college. I think that was because, as a homeschooler, he never had to wake up and get started at a certain time, never had to meet deadlines or keep make his own dental appointments, etc. Please know I'm not saying all homeschoolers are like that. I just know that's how my sister did it. She always told me "Public school kids just can't think for themselves," yet she was super involved with making his college schedule, even changing it a few times because she knew he could not handle an 8 am class.

Both boys were very rowdy as children - very lenient discipline in that house. They were also allowed to talk very rudely to others. I guess they were raised to be arrogant. My sister seems to think they have both adhered to their rigid religious upbringing, but I have my doubts. I kind of doubt they are attending church like she thinks they are. I have no doubt the older one studied most of the time and was a serious student. The younger one? That is left to be seen. He is very gifted with mechanical things and holds down two jobs while going to school. She says it's so he can stay away from the "undesirable" students on campus. I wonder if it's because he'd rather work than go to college.

An interesting side note: my younger nephew had started dating a girl in their youth group, while they were in high school. She had had a child with another boy when she was 16 and came to church to "get back on track." My sister's family was very gracious and loving to her and her baby and really supported the dating relationship. It really kind of softened our view of them to see them be so accepting. The two are no longer dating but their family still helps her a lot with childcare and transportation.

My sister doesn't wear dresses all the time, but she definitely has a submissive marriage. She knows the Bible frontward and Backward and sees things in black and white much of the time. My biggest worry with her lifestyle is how her husband treats her. We all know how those men are. Sorry for the long post.

[OkToBeTakei]

I want to go to Erica's house and put all the books on the wrong shelves. Take all the 'annoying' samll part toys and leave them randomly around in odd places like in the bathroom next to her coffee machine (unless she's removed that now also.)

I'm not really childish though because if I was, I would trail around a box of confectioner sugar .......and a hairdryer 8-)

[ILoveJellybeans]

I want to go to Erica's house and put all the books on the wrong shelves. Take all the 'annoying' samll part toys and leave them randomly around in odd places like in the bathroom next to her coffee machine (unless she's removed that now also.)

I'm not really childish though because if I was, I would trail around a box of confectioner sugar .......and a hairdryer 8-)

That would be hilarious. Erika would either have a complete breakdown and sit in a corner muttering to herself about how the house is filthy and needs to be cleaned with fire, or will completely snap and chase you around with a frying pan for daring to mess up her precious house.

[Coco]

That would be hilarious. Erika would either have a complete breakdown and sit in a corner muttering to herself about how the house is filthy and needs to be cleaned with fire, or will completely snap and chase you around with a frying pan for daring to mess up her precious house.

The wrath of khan :twisted:

[Cheetah]

I want to go to Erica's house and put all the books on the wrong shelves. Take all the 'annoying' samll part toys and leave them randomly around in odd places like in the bathroom next to her coffee machine (unless she's removed that now also.)

I'm not really childish though because if I was, I would trail around a box of confectioner sugar .......and a hairdryer 8-)

That cracked me up.

I'd like to have her 2 older daughters over for a week and let them sleep late, watch whatever they'd like on TV for several hours a day, hang out at the mall with a few other girls their age, and just enjoy being normal teen girls.

[super skeptic]

This lady spends so much time "managing her time" and making schedules that I'm suprised she has time for anything else, like the things she claims to do on her schedule.

Oh wait, the kids do those.

[AnnieC 305]

This lady spends so much time "managing her time" and making schedules that I'm suprised she has time for anything else, like the things she claims to do on her schedule.

Oh wait, the kids do those.

I haven't been reading those complicated schedules wrong, have I? Her older girls really do only study two hours a day, and that's while sharing the table with the little ones.

I'd be honestly surprise if either of them had more than an 8th grade education.

[neuroticcat]

This is just awful. Intellectual abuse. It feels very Maxwellish. I remember reading their "Manager of Their Schools" and they talked a lot about censoring reading material. Fantasy and make-believe were suspicious and they emphasized nonfiction a lot. (Though I'm sure their "nonfiction" is a fair amount of propaganda).

The kids are going to be so messed up. Their lives are so controlled and they are not seen as a separate individual - just extensions of mom and her vision. So so sad.

[usmcmom]

I haven't been reading those complicated schedules wrong, have I? Her older girls really do only study two hours a day, and that's while sharing the table with the little ones.

I'd be honestly surprise if either of them had more than an 8th grade education.

Based on some of Erika's blog posts, they are not getting much of an education from their mother. Her spelling and grammar are pretty bad in some of the posts.

[HoneyBunny]

And doesn't she have an education degree?!?

I feel so, so sorry for those two oldest girls. When she posted a photo of the oldest up in the middle of the night with her feeding the twins, I wanted to throw my laptop against the wall. That is the epitome of wrong.

[super skeptic]

Also, her house looks like a motel. No personal touches to indicate anyone with a personality actually lives there. Everything is clean and sterile and only mildly decorated, like a cheap hotel.

[feministxtian]

I will take my messy, disorganized house (which is bigger than Erika's and there's just two of us), the dog hair on the carpet, the dishes that need to go in the dishwasher and my jeans on the back of the couch over Erika's "organization" any day and twice on Sunday. Does this woman not understand that sometimes folks just need to BE??? I feel sorry for her children. No imagination, no fun, no cutting loose and just enjoying a summer or winter's day, curling up with a good book and a cup of hot cocoa, kicking back on the couch or floor and watching a movie as a family...how horridly boring their lives must be. No thanks y'all!

[16strong]

And doesn't she have an education degree?!?

I feel so, so sorry for those two oldest girls. When she posted a photo of the oldest up in the middle of the night with her feeding the twins, I wanted to throw my laptop against the wall. That is the epitome of wrong.

Wait....whaaaa? :pink-shock:

I have no clue if she will read this, but Erika, if you are: There is absolutely no excuse for making your own children take care of your babies. If you didn't want to take care of them yourself, then you should not have had them. You and your husband made them; only you and your husband (or another responsible ADULT) should be responsible for their care.

You should be ashamed of yourself. Your daughter at that time would have been around the age of 12. TWELVE. Give me one good reason for a twelve-year-old to be up in the middle of the night taking care of not one, but TWO babies. My parents made sure I was in bed by a reasonable (as in 9 o'clock!!!) time at that age, because guess what? Good sleep habits are imperative to the proper physical and cognitive development of both children and teens.

Shameful. Absolutely shameful.