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Atheists in the Bible Belt - Merge


Toothfairy

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My stepdaughter lived in Lubbock, TX while attending grad school. When she first got there, she was often asked, "Have you found your church yet?" and when students met for informal review sections before big exams, it was not unusual for someone to request that they begin with a prayer. She also worked part time with rural school districts near Lubbock, and same thing -- church attendance is such an interwoven part of rural and small town life that it is considered a courtesy to query about your church community rather than a gross invasion of privacy.

She got very practiced at being politely noncommittal, but the first time it happened, she was quite startled. That said, she did meet some lovely people while working with these school districts. I suspect that saints, mystics and kind people living from the heart are always among us and they just bloom wherever they are planted.

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As a liberal Christian who lives in Alabama, I'm sorry for everything atheists living in the Bible Belt have gone through. Please know that there are Christians out there who genuinely care about you and not your lack of religion.

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I live in the Deep South and my best friend is Atheist. The amount of bullshit she's put up with for it is astounding. She's been banned from ever mentioning it to her grandparents because "it would kill them." Her mother said, to her face, "Where did I go wrong raising you?"

On a more public note, we have three or four churches on our campus proper, and more that post flyers advertising themselves. When we got a LGBT Studies program, the campus bishop threw a shitfit, but was overruled. He's still bitter, and makes it known when he can. Religion is shoved down your throat wherever you go, and it's the most annoying thing. For example, I went to get my car repaired after a fender bender and the manager's office was literally wallpapered with religious pictures, news articles (we actually have a "church" section in the newspaper), and email forward printouts. She kept looking at me like I was the devil himself sent straight from hell to test her (I'm the stereotypical butch lesbian, so of course I'm the Antichrist! :wink-kitty: ) I decided to pay the extra hundred for the other repair center.

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Northeast US here (NJ), and you do not discuss religious affiliation with strangers, colleagues, and neighbors in this polluted corner of these United States. You sure as hell don't invite your casual acquaintances to church or ask where they go to church. :shock:

A little mind your own business goes a long way.

Same in the UK. I was raised in a secular family, and went to a secular comprehensive so no issues there. I do not consider myself atheist so much as agnostic, though some people don't see a difference. We do get people handing out religious literature on streets, which I do personally accept as it can't harm me to read it. I think I've had religious pressure put on me exactly twice - the first time by some members of the Church of Latterday Saints who cornered me as I was trying to get in my front door, and the second by a couple living upstairs at the time who were Muslims. (The wife had recently converted to Islam herself, she had been raised Jewish). Both times I explained I was agnostic as I don't think we have any proof either way, and both people said the difference is they do know for sure and that their religion is right. But they couldn't say how they knew. Circular logic is what I believe it's called. But for the most part in this part of the world, we consider faith, or lack thereof, an individual thing that should be respected.

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Aside from social norms against talking to strangers, it looks like the demographics really are different in places like Toronto.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographi ... o#Religion

Christians are only 64% of the population, and half of them are Catholic. So overall, it's not really possible to assume that someone you meet will be Christian.

Compare and contrast with Mississippi: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mississippi#Religion

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Northeast US here (NJ), and you do not discuss religious affiliation with strangers, colleagues, and neighbors in this polluted corner of these United States. You sure as hell don't invite your casual acquaintances to church or ask where they go to church. :shock:

A little mind your own business goes a long way.

I'm in northern NJ also. Most people keep to themselves when it comes to religion. My sister had a classmate who is Mormon, no one knew she was cause she didn't voice it or tried to get her classmates to go to her church.

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I hate when Christians start preaching the bible and telling atheists that they need to be saved. Like wtf?? Keep your damn religious views to yourself. I also think that some people think atheists worship the devil. Which is not true. I have atheists friends they aren't evil. It's called freedom of religion.

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I am a Southerner going back on both sides to the turn of the 18th century when ancestors flooded over to NC and spread as far as west Tn and Mississippi before either was a state. My mom is an agnostic socialist and has never come out to her mean girl clique from the class of 1965! I was lucky as some of the ugliest part of Mississippi never touched me! I went through a crazy IFB phase thanks to the IFB/Bob Jones/Abeka Christian school I attended (only private school around and the public one was not great), but I was done with THAT cult by 16!

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Technically, the term fundamentalist refers to a movement of 20th-century Protestants who rejected modernity and clung to a literal interpretation of the Bible.

But Ehrman has a different definition: “Someone who is no fun, too much damn, and not enough mental.â€

Give the man a trophy!!

I have a couple friends who just had to move to the bible belt, and they're miserable. I left family behind in the bible belt, and had a recent falling-out over my atheism.

I'm not in the bible belt now, but in a pocket of deep right-wingers, and I want to slap people when they start talking about Christian-persecution. They have no idea they're talking to someone who is an atheist and won't say so because I don't want to be made into an outcast. You know, real persecution. You learn to keep your mouth shut when the default belief is everyone's a Christian instead of everyone has their own beliefs, so assume nothing before asking.

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Regarding the claim of people thinking atheists worship Satan, the same can be said about pagans in the Bible Belt, too. I'm not sure which is worse for damnation of the soul, unbelief or "witchcraft." :angry-banghead:

There've been polls done that show that believing in anything at all is better than believing in nothing. Muslims are often seen as all being terrorists, yet atheists are less trusted because believing in nothing makes us the scariest of all. Pagans at least have belief in something.

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I was raised in a fundamentalist church and most of my family members are fundies. I am an atheist and I choose not to mention it. Obviously, my family knows I don't go to church and especially that I don't take my children to church. I was the kid who was villainized for questioning the bible because no one had answers. I was certainly very hurt by my religion and my verbally abusive mother (who likely has undiagnosed mental illness since her church doesn't believe in that.) I went through years in my teens where I just couldn't deal with my family. Then I grew up and realized that despite their crazy beliefs and issues, they are the only family I have. My husband's family is mostly dead, so my parents are the only grandparents my children have. (My mother is actually good with the grandkids- I'm not putting my kids in an abusive situation.)

I know I will never change their minds any more than they will change mine. I keep contact somewhat limited and just let them assume the reason we don't go to church is because I work Sundays. One good (and terrible) thing about fundies is that they are in so much denial they will believe anything to make themselves feel better. It makes no sense to me to announce to my aunt or grandmother that I'm an atheist. I carry this over to coworkers and acquaintances. For me, it just seems like the right thing to do, much like I wouldn't tell someone I hated the hideous sweater they gave me as a gift. I don't get the need to be combative over something I just don't believe. I really don't feel like "coming out" as an atheist is the same as coming out as gay. Religion or lack of religion is a choice and a belief. It is something that can be kept quiet. If I was gay I would put my partner ahead of my family, just like I put my husband ahead of my family and they would either have to accept her or sever the relationship. Yeah, I take some crap and abuse and it sucks to be told by my mother that I'm going to hell, but I don't have to sink to their level.

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I haven't come out yet either, partly because I'm agnostic and secondly because I'm terrified of being cut off from my family.

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While having dinner with friends the other day, we were discussing religion. This couple are very religious while my husband and I are not. One friend mentioned that a lot of the people they know won’t be friends with non-religious people. The wife was trying to refute that argument by saying that they (our friends) were best friends with non-Christians (us). It really threw me for a second because I was raised as a Christian in the Armenian church. It was a very big part of my family’s life. Church every Sunday, prayer at meals and before bed. Even though I haven’t been to church in years and feel more agnostic than anything else these days, I never really thought of myself as not Christian. It’s hard to break the ingrained thought and practice of decades I guess. I just sat there felling like I got hit with the clueless stick thinking “D’Oh – rightâ€. It is true that if I don’t believe in the tenets of the religion then I really can’t identify as that religion.

I like the pageantry and the ritual of the church service. I like the sense of community it can bring, but if I don’t believe in the central idea of Jesus being the son of God, then no, I can’t really consider myself a Christian. It was kind of a light bulb moment. I’ve always questioned (drove my mom nuts – two out of her three kids make her sad), but this was the first time I realized that don’t have to identify myself as anything. Kind of freeing. Then again, I live in NY. If I lived in the bible belt who knows what I’d do.

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While having dinner with friends the other day, we were discussing religion. This couple are very religious while my husband and I are not. One friend mentioned that a lot of the people they know won’t be friends with non-religious people. The wife was trying to refute that argument by saying that they (our friends) were best friends with non-Christians (us). It really threw me for a second because I was raised as a Christian in the Armenian church. It was a very big part of my family’s life. Church every Sunday, prayer at meals and before bed. Even though I haven’t been to church in years and feel more agnostic than anything else these days, I never really thought of myself as not Christian. It’s hard to break the ingrained thought and practice of decades I guess. I just sat there felling like I got hit with the clueless stick thinking “D’Oh – rightâ€. It is true that if I don’t believe in the tenets of the religion then I really can’t identify as that religion.

I like the pageantry and the ritual of the church service. I like the sense of community it can bring, but if I don’t believe in the central idea of Jesus being the son of God, then no, I can’t really consider myself a Christian. It was kind of a light bulb moment. I’ve always questioned (drove my mom nuts – two out of her three kids make her sad), but this was the first time I realized that don’t have to identify myself as anything. Kind of freeing. Then again, I live in NY. If I lived in the bible belt who knows what I’d do.

To me, current personal beliefs are just one part of your religious identity.

Religion of origin also plays a role. There are traditions and holidays. There are rules you were taught about what's right and wrong. There are cultural aspects. There is a family/community experience of being part of X group in Y society (majority and minority religious experiences can be very different).

You also have thought patterns and ways of looking at the world that are shaped by religion - in ways that we often don't realize. Les Miserables is all about a Christian view of grace vs. law, for example, even if the explicit religious references are few.

Even the very notion of what religion is, is shaped by specific religions. Christianity (particularly certain denominations) has a very specific doctrine that belief in a very specific dogma is the key to salvation. Therefore, if someone is raised as a fundie Christian, they will see religion as being all about belief. If a former fundie becomes an atheist, they may think that ALL religion is about belief in a sky fairy. In my experience, when former fundies meet Humanist or Reconstructionist Jews, or Taoist or Zen Buddhists, they get confused ;)

All of that life and cultural experience doesn't just disappear simply because you stop believing in something.

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In our church there are open agnostics and atheists who are members who will tell you straight up that while they gladly chucked the central premise, they simply cannot give up the ritual, cultural, and social aspects. No one seems to be afraid of picking up agnostic cooties from their presence.

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I haven't come out yet either, partly because I'm agnostic and secondly because I'm terrified of being cut off from my family.

That's a pity. :cry: I hope your family comes to accept you for who you are and they realize that not all atheists/agnostics are bad.

As for nonreligious people still attending church, I agree that the companionship, etc. that church provides can be a hard thing to replace. It's nice that some churchgoers tolerate nonreligious people in their church without trying to proselytize or condemn them. I just wish more religious people would do that, instead of acting that religion is the only thing that matters in a person.

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It depends on the area in the US. When I lived in the northeast, religion was only discussed with people you were close to. Now that I'm in the south, I've noticed that everyone talks openly about religion/church. I find it odd (but that's probably because I'm a Jew in the Bible Belt.)

Exactly. People really don't talk about religion here in my corner of the Midwest, either. We don't talk about anything unpleasant or controversial with people we don't know well. We are too gosh darn polite for that. People who do it are considered irritating and rude. A former patient comes into the facility where I am going to physical therapy and wanders around trying to engage the PTs and patients in political or religious discussion. Everyone considers him absolutely boorish and he is frequently told he has to stop or leave.

I sub in two public school districts and casual getting to know you conversation never crosses to politics or religion. And we have shared a wall with a woman for five years now and we don't know her religious beliefs or background and until something came up in passing recently, she thought we were Lutheran. Because she knew we go to church weekly and was guessing the rest.

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Hmmm - I like the idea of "Cultural Christian". It probably won't fly with my friends (but they'll love me anyway), but it will make my mom feel better.

And I have to find a way to work agnostic cooties into a conversation. That cracked me up. :)

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My husband and I are from sinful New Orleans. We were both raised Catholic and went to Catholic schools all our lives (I'm currently in recovery from 20 years of Catholic school), but there people do not openly discuss faith/religion like the rest of the south. Now, I have to admit, my parents were the crazy liberals who were open to letting my brother and I decide what we wanted to believe in because they both came from very conservative families. My dad's side of the family is hard core Southern Baptist and they had a major shit fit when my grandmother converted when she married my grandfather. Anyway, we are now living in what I call HELL, which is also known as Western North Carolina. When my husband and I were first transferred here, one of his coworkers (also from New Orleans) told us to not let people know that we were Catholic because they would try to convert you.....and it happens all the freaking time! The first time I went to the grocery store here, a little old lady stopped me and asked if I had accepted the good Lord Jesus into my life. All of our junk mail consists of 95% ads for churches and we are constantly being invited to check out others' churches all the time. Both the husband and I have to watch ourselves when we talk to others because we will get preached at...although my husband has a habit of messing with the overly zealous religious people. This place is a huge trigger for me and I frequently wonder who/what I pissed off to cause me to live deep in the bible belt. On one hand, we know the best times to go to the store or out to eat...Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings when all the holy people are in church and us heathens are going to IHOP for some pancakes :shhh:

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Nolagirl, you should come down to greenville sc if you think WNC is bad. We are from WNC and had to move to greenville and I find it so so much worse here. We are actually trying to find a house to move back. Where in WNC are you at? Admittedly we were in the outskirts of Asheville, but it's a much more live and let live place then sc.

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I wanted to say this. The only time relgion comes up on my area is if someone new moves to town & they want to know what churches/temples r good & why.

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Nolagirl, you should come down to greenville sc if you think WNC is bad. We are from WNC and had to move to greenville and I find it so so much worse here. We are actually trying to find a house to move back. Where in WNC are you at? Admittedly we were in the outskirts of Asheville, but it's a much more live and let live place then sc.

We are actually in South Asheville/Arden. I can't stand Asheville, and both the husband and I prefer Hendersonville. I say that Asheville is full of hippy tree hugging granola munchin potheads lol. I do have to admit though, it is beautiful here though! Where did you live lovemygsp?

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We are actually in South Asheville/Arden. I can't stand Asheville, and both the husband and I prefer Hendersonville. I say that Asheville is full of hippy tree hugging granola munchin potheads lol. I do have to admit though, it is beautiful here though! Where did you live lovemygsp?

Fairview. :) I think we are looking at moving to east Asheville though as in the few years we've been gone, homes in fairvirw have gone up a ton in price. Otherwise wed move right back there. I'm surprised you are having issues and it makes me sad for you. :( I mostly noticed stuck up yuppies in south Asheville, but not religious fanatics. I love hendersonville though. DH and I make the drive from greenville almost once a week as we much prefer to travel up there then into greenville.

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My husband and I are from sinful New Orleans. We were both raised Catholic and went to Catholic schools all our lives (I'm currently in recovery from 20 years of Catholic school), but there people do not openly discuss faith/religion like the rest of the south. Now, I have to admit, my parents were the crazy liberals who were open to letting my brother and I decide what we wanted to believe in because they both came from very conservative families. My dad's side of the family is hard core Southern Baptist and they had a major shit fit when my grandmother converted when she married my grandfather. Anyway, we are now living in what I call HELL, which is also known as Western North Carolina. When my husband and I were first transferred here, one of his coworkers (also from New Orleans) told us to not let people know that we were Catholic because they would try to convert you.....and it happens all the freaking time! The first time I went to the grocery store here, a little old lady stopped me and asked if I had accepted the good Lord Jesus into my life. All of our junk mail consists of 95% ads for churches and we are constantly being invited to check out others' churches all the time. Both the husband and I have to watch ourselves when we talk to others because we will get preached at...although my husband has a habit of messing with the overly zealous religious people. This place is a huge trigger for me and I frequently wonder who/what I pissed off to cause me to live deep in the bible belt. On one hand, we know the best times to go to the store or out to eat...Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings when all the holy people are in church and us heathens are going to IHOP for some pancakes :shhh:

My 19 year old nephew was raised primarily in Alabama with his mother. He has become militantly anti-religious and currently will barely speak to my husband or me because we attend church. He told my brother that "religious people" are "stupid" and make him "uncomfortable". This is a kid that I cared for almost 24/7 when he spent summers here to see his father. I have NEVER in any way attempted to evangelize this kid. FIrst of all, my husband and I are Catholic and Catholics are pretty bad at that. Secondly, I am uncomfortable with people who push their religious views on others especially other people's children. When he was younger, I was basically recovering from the spiritual abuse of working in the Christian school and was not attending any church let alone trying to convert a child to anything.

I wonder if his feelings have to do with what he likely experienced living in rural Alabama. I can understand that. But the stupid thing is that more than anyone else in the family, I can empathize with what it is like to be condemned by fundagelicals who are trying to save you. But I'm the one he has decided to reject.

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