Is Jana Dugger Courting?

[crocodale]

I would like to see Derick stand up negotiate a contract for Jill and him. Derick isn't stupid, and I really can't see him wanting to be part of the dog and pony show without being compensated.

I agree. Even if he's a shy guy who does't want to stand up to JimBob, he's an accountant and I can't see him agreeing to them appearing without payment/a contract of their own.

[RosyDaisy]

Derick isn't shy. He just wasn't all that familiar with Duggar courting rituals and was just trying hard to play by JB's rules. He didn't come off as shy to me. I also get the impression the only reason he befriended JB was because he had the hots for Jill.

[Coconut Flan]

Derick isn't shy. He just wasn't all that familiar with Duggar courting rituals and was just trying hard to play by JB's rules. He didn't come off as shy to me. I also get the impression the only reason he befriended JB was because he had the hots for Jill.

I so hope that this is true.

[BeccaGrim]

His mother wear pants and he went to--ready for it?--college which means he did at some point interact with the outside world.

[singsingsing]

He didn't know Jill when he befriended JB and I somehow doubt he, unlike Ben Seewald, was watching 19 Kids and Counting...

[cathgrl1]

He didn't know Jill when he befriended JB and I somehow doubt he, unlike Ben Seewald, was watching 19 Kids and Counting...

First time poster here. Derick did go with a bunch of people to the TTH for Christmas caroling after Jubilee died and before he went to Nepal. He says he doesn't remember seeing her, but ...

[lascuba]

His mother wear pants and he went to--ready for it?--college which means he did at some point interact with the outside world.

And yet, he STILL chose the life he's living now, including asking JB to be his prayer partner and falling for Jill. I'm not willing to give much credit to anyone who aligns themselves so closely with the Duggars.

[JHeathen]

He didn't know Jill when he befriended JB ...

...or at least that's the story we are being told.

[singsingsing]

...or at least that's the story we are being told.

Yeah, and based purely on probability and logic, that story is the truth.

[halcionne]

Yeah, and based purely on probability and logic, that story is the truth.

It could go either way. She could've caught his eye at the Christmas caroling event so he orchestrated the prayer partner thing to cozy up to JB. Or maybe not. But I don't think probability and logic lean one way or the other, in this case.

[lascuba]

It could go either way. She could've caught his eye at the Christmas caroling event so he orchestrated the prayer partner thing to cozy up to JB. Or maybe not. But I don't think probability and logic lean one way or the other, in this case.

If it did happen that way I'd find it creepy as hell. I mean, he sees her while surrounded by a bunch of other people, doesn't talk to her at all and isn't even introduced, and based on that one glance he concocts an elaborate plan to become Jim Bob's prayer partner in the hopes that it would occur to Jim Bob to introduce him to the daughter he's interested in? That would put him firmly in crazy stalker and likely abusive asshole territory. That's just not romantic or even normal. Ben is bad enough, with traveling 3 hours to attend their church in the hopes of meeting Jessa, but it seems he was always upfront about that, so whatever.

I think Derrick and Jill have been honest about how they met. There's just no reason to believe otherwise; if they had noticed each other during the caroling why would they be so stupid as to mention the caroling at all and risk people connecting the dots? Those two aren't particularly bright, but they aren't completely brainless, either.

[Ellimenopy]

If it did happen that way I'd find it creepy as hell. I mean, he sees her while surrounded by a bunch of other people, doesn't talk to her at all and isn't even introduced, and based on that one glance he concocts an elaborate plan to become Jim Bob's prayer partner in the hopes that it would occur to Jim Bob to introduce him to the daughter he's interested in? That would put him firmly in crazy stalker and likely abusive asshole territory. That's just not romantic or even normal. Ben is bad enough, with traveling 3 hours to attend their church in the hopes of meeting Jessa, but it seems he was always upfront about that, so whatever.

I think Derrick and Jill have been honest about how they met. There's just no reason to believe otherwise; if they had noticed each other during the caroling why would they be so stupid as to mention the caroling at all and risk people connecting the dots? Those two aren't particularly bright, but they aren't completely brainless, either.

Furthermore, there's nothing particularly salacious about catching someone's eye in a group setting even in their world. Unless Jill was dancing seductively in her nightie, there's no drama there. Even if he asked Jim Bob to be his prayer partner later with Jill in mind - they consider it a duty for older people to form mentoring relationships with younger people, and Jim isn't opposed to his daughters finding suitable relationships even with gawkers (or else Ben would have been turned away). There's no plausible reason to lie about it, is what I'm saying.

[fixxin2]

Why would any normal 25 yr old man want to be prayer partners with 50 yr old JBoob if NOT to get next to one of his daughters? Seriously. :?

[lascuba]

Why would any normal 25 yr old man want to be prayer partners with 50 yr old JBoob if NOT to get next to one of his daughters? Seriously. :?

Why would any normal 25 year old man want to meet a woman with whom he'll never get to have a truly private conversation until after they're married? Answer: He's not normal. None of these people are. As soon as I heard "prayer partner" I knew Derrick had to be as crazy as the rest of them.

[Duggor]

I really hope Jana is courting, she has always been my favorite duggar! This is also the only way for her to get out of that house..

[BeaSnarky]

He didn't know Jill when he befriended JB and I somehow doubt he, unlike Ben Seewald, was watching 19 Kids and Counting...

I have my doubts about that...he did grow up half an hour from the Duggar Compound, and JB was into politics. I think he was very knowledgable of the family, and I'm sure he had seen or heard of Jill in some fashion before he "met" her. He knew exactly what he was doing when he asked JB to be his prayer partner.

[for_the_Kitties]

I have my doubts about that...he did grow up half an hour from the Duggar Compound, and JB was into politics. I think he was very knowledgable of the family, and I'm sure he had seen or heard of Jill in some fashion before he "met" her. He knew exactly what he was doing when he asked JB to be his prayer partner.

I agree. Its all "too perfect." The picture of Derick's mom by her bed, the closeness of them when they "first met" and everything else. Its a part of the Duggar image to maintain a wholesome view and some guy from down the road showing up at their house, becoming JBs prayer partner to get close to a girl and then courting her sounds too creepy. A long distance love story is very romantic and builds ratings.

As described in that new book about Kate Gosselin, it specifically states that the contracts they sign allow TLC to dictate their lives and the stories that are in them. The family must comply with the storyline and morals the show represents and go along with TLC's ideas. TLC wanted it to be a romantic fairy tale, and starting a courtship with a guy you met at a christmas caroling event is not romantic.

TL;DR - Derrick and Jill knew each other prior to the TLC story. TLC is in charge.

[lascuba]

I agree. Its all "too perfect." The picture of Derick's mom by her bed, the closeness of them when they "first met" and everything else. Its a part of the Duggar image to maintain a wholesome view and some guy from down the road showing up at their house, becoming JBs prayer partner to get close to a girl and then courting her sounds too creepy. A long distance love story is very romantic and builds ratings.

As described in that new book about Kate Gosselin, it specifically states that the contracts they sign allow TLC to dictate their lives and the stories that are in them. The family must comply with the storyline and morals the show represents and go along with TLC's ideas. TLC wanted it to be a romantic fairy tale, and starting a courtship with a guy you met at a christmas caroling event is not romantic.

TL;DR - Derrick and Jill knew each other prior to the TLC story. TLC is in charge.

I think the type of people who think meeting someone over the phone after your dad introduced you is romantic would be just as enthused over a guy being so gaga over a girl who glimpsed while caroling that he went through the trouble of courting her dad via prayer partnership first. I mean, look at the popularity of Twilight. Creepy stalkers are sexy, apparently.

[TheLurkingFrumper]

I think they knew each other/met shortly before he went on his mission, but one can't start "courting" before going on a mission. That would mean they'd be courting for two+ years, which sounds oddly close to dating. I mean, who spends two whole years getting to know the person you are going to marry! :o Crazy talk, that.

But, if that is that case, good for Jill that she had two years to get to know him. It explains that lack of awkwardness between them. Whereas, poor Jessa is cuddling with a teenaged fanboy.

[Rescinded and Mended]

As far as the Duggars go, how Jill and Derick really met is irrelevant. Jim Bob is going to spin the story in whatever way makes the family look the best. These people lie all the time when it's convenient for them, and laugh all the way to the bank. Whether Derick contacted JB to be his prayer partner or not, and whether his ensuing relationship with Jill naturally fell into place or not, Jim Bob will spin the story in a way that makes his family look the best. And being able to say, "Look what a Godly man I am! A younger man came to me for wisdom and guidance, and I was able to mentor him and judge him worthy to meet, court and marry my daughter!" sounds better than any other version of them meeting.

...Although it does beg the question as to why it got out that Ben saw Jessa on the show and asked his family to drive three hours to meet her at church. With a story like that out, any creeper watching the show could figure out that if he showed up spewing the right form of Christian-ese, Jim Bob would happily consent to a courtship and put any of his daughters at risk.

[Toothfairy]

Why would any normal 25 year old man want to meet a woman with whom he'll never get to have a truly private conversation until after they're married? Answer: He's not normal. None of these people are. As soon as I heard "prayer partner" I knew Derrick had to be as crazy as the rest of them.

He's fundie or about to turn fundie. Or just playing by the rules to get to Jill which he already has. Some people like that control. Jill must have sex on demand whenever HE wants it. She is programmed to cook, clean, and rely on Derrick to make choices. Some people want this kind of control and a fundie girl seems just right for them.

[bionicmlle]

He's fundie or about to turn fundie. Or just playing by the rules to get to Jill which he already has. Some people like that control. Jill must have sex on demand whenever HE wants it. She is programmed to cook, clean, and rely on Derrick to make choices. Some people want this kind of control and a fundie girl seems just right for them.

He may have wanted a "Prayer Partner" like JimBo to fund his trip. Haven't you ever been approached by someone to give them money to go on a mission trip? He was in Kathmandu for 2 years and probably wanted to stay there.... or meet Jill. Maybe he would have taken one or the other.

[Ella]

But do you think Jill would outright lie by saying, "I think I'm in love with someone I never met"? Could she intend to be saying "...I never 'officially' met"?

[lascuba]

He's fundie or about to turn fundie. Or just playing by the rules to get to Jill which he already has. Some people like that control. Jill must have sex on demand whenever HE wants it. She is programmed to cook, clean, and rely on Derrick to make choices. Some people want this kind of control and a fundie girl seems just right for them.

That's exactly why I can't get behind the idea that Derrick will lead Jill away for fundiedom that so many fjers rally behind. Any man who didn't grow up ATI and chooses it as an adult--a man who pursues a woman raised in that environment, and willingly follows the ridiculous courtship rules to marry her, HAS to be a controlling, misogynistic asshole at his core. Don't get me wrong...I don't doubt that Derrick will be perfectly wonderful to Jill, but that's because she'll be the perfect fundie wife. If she were to ever challenge what he thinks is his rightful place in their marriage, though? All bets are off. Who knows what kind of husband he'll be then.

What else can possibly be the attraction for men? Why would they look at the lifestyle, read what they believe about a woman's place, and decide that's the life they want if they truly were good men who want a partner in life and not just a woman who makes life easy for him and sexually performs on command without complaints.

[halcionne]

He may have wanted a "Prayer Partner" like JimBo to fund his trip. Haven't you ever been approached by someone to give them money to go on a mission trip? He was in Kathmandu for 2 years and probably wanted to stay there.... or meet Jill. Maybe he would have taken one or the other.

Yes, this, too. It's well established that JB will give lots of money to causes he supports. His own campaigns, of course, but he's paid for Query JTTHs, too, iirc. It's plausiblethat prayer partner = mission donor. We've all seen Shrader's progress reports, and they often amount to JesusJesusGodsendmoneyandsuppliessoIcandotheLord'sworkGodJesus. Now if Derick's prayer partner has pretty daughters, so much the better. I guess it's a chicken egg thing for me, and we may never know the truth because of JBs spin, as Rescinded and Mended mentioned.