Is Jana Dugger Courting?

[It'sFunToRun]

I tried to find the source for the "don't ask, don't tell", and the best I found was this article from 50 months ago.

http://askville.amazon.com/find-videos- ... d=68498158

The children are encouraged not to date, but rather to go through courtship, in which the young man seeks permission from the girl's father to become engaged. All meetings between a couple include a chaperone and they believe in abstaining from absolutely all physical contact and intimacy until marriage, save holding hands and hugging. Oldest son Josh married through courtship and insisted that it was his choice and not required by his parents, as per an interview in the TV show. If they choose not to follow courtship, they follow a don't ask, don't tell policy with parents. Because Josh chose to follow courtship, he admitted, he felt nervous about getting married due to his lack of experience in most types of intimacy.

I thought I remembered actually reading about that in a quote from Michelle in an online magazine article though, maybe someone can track down the source.

[Justme]

I tried to find the source for the "don't ask, don't tell", and the best I found was this article from 50 months ago.

http://askville.amazon.com/find-videos- ... d=68498158

I thought I remembered actually reading about that in a quote from Michelle in an online magazine article though, maybe someone can track down the source.

They may say that for the press, but I don't believe for one minute they would ever allow a "child" to date or even kiss before marriage.

[SamE]

If it was truly Ask, Don't Tell - why the big deal with Jill front hugged Dereck at the airport?

[It'sFunToRun]

If it was truly Ask, Don't Tell - why the big deal with Jill front hugged Dereck at the airport?

That would be "telling" since she did it in front of them. She has to set an example for the children.

I don't believe that their official policy is "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". For a child under 18 the policy is "you do exactly as we say or you don't leave the house!", and if a child over 18 was interested in dating, I think the parents would try their best to convince them that that's not what God wants, but I think "don't ask, don't tell" means that they wouldn't kick that that child out of the house or disown them as long as the child didn't flaunt it.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

I'm kind of hoping that if an adult child wanted to quietly date, they could.

All the lockdown on Jill's wedding pics has me thinking... Sure, I know TLC, People, and other media outlets want 'dibs' on it, but there could be more to it than that. Maybe a potential suitor for one of the olders was a guest at the wedding?

[ariel9]

I doubt any of the kids will date unless they see the light. However if they plan to still being on good terms they will court. No one from the family has ever said anything positive about dating. They sort of treat it like if you date you might as well stab yourself because it's that painful. Plus once you choose dating could there be a stigma when you go back to choose courting.Also how does one keep said contraband boyfriend a secret when you're never alone .

[lascuba]

I'm kind of hoping that if an adult child wanted to quietly date, they could.

All the lockdown on Jill's wedding pics has me thinking... Sure, I know TLC, People, and other media outlets want 'dibs' on it, but there could be more to it than that. Maybe a potential suitor for one of the olders was a guest at the wedding?

It's weird to me that everyone is respecting the demands to wait 3 weeks before releasing any pictures. I don't care how fundie and worshipful of the Duggars they are--not one person posted even a blurry pic of the ceremony? Not even a written account from one of the guests? I can't imagine TLC or People got 1000 people to sign confidentiality contracts. Honestly, I'm not even interested in the pictures per se--you've seen one fundie wedding, you've seen them all. The only thing I kind of care about are the dresses and the cake. I'm just dying to know how they got so many people to keep quiet.

[Rainytown]

I don't care how fundie and worshipful of the Duggars they are--not one person posted even a blurry pic of the ceremony? Not even a written account from one of the guests? I can't imagine TLC or People got 1000 people to sign confidentiality contracts.

I can. This is a lot of money/big ratings for TLC, and they're going to make sure anyone that breaches their non-disclosure is punished to set an example. They'll want to cover Jessa's wedding as well (if it ever happens). It'll be interesting to see what kind of offers Jessa gets for photos, etcetera; she's not as viewer-friendly as Jill. People magazine isn't playing around, either. They had a financial stake.

I'll be interested to see (if the pictures ever come out) where the blanket notification notices were placed, whether guests were asked to sign paperwork before entering the sanctuary for the ceremony, etcetera.

I think the only Duggar that will get anything close to the attention (and money) Jill just got is Jana, due to the fact she's the oldest daughter and a big viewer favorite, IMHO.

I read on this site that guests were told phones/pictures/social media were not allowed at the wedding or reception.

Considering the fact that J-Chelle almost stroked out when Jill front-hugged her boyfriend, I don't buy the "don't ask/don't tell" dating policy at all. It is impossible for the young adults still living in that household to do anything privately or keep something to themselves.

[It'sFunToRun]

I can. This is a lot of money/big ratings for TLC, and they're going to make sure anyone that breaches their non-disclosure is punished to set an example. \

I still can't believe it. Anonymous uploading is a thing. If I had been at the wedding, I would have taken pictures and possibly uploaded them anonymously; the only thing that might stop me is moral reasons, not fear of getting caught.

I think the only Duggar that will get anything close to the attention (and money) Jill just got is Jana, due to the fact she's the oldest daughter and a big viewer favorite, IMHO.

\

Disagree. Jana is my favorite Duggar, but Jessa is the prettiest and Jinger is spunky, so I see all of them getting big attention.

[lascuba]

I still can't believe it. Anonymous uploading is a thing. If I had been at the wedding, I would have taken pictures and possibly uploaded them anonymously; the only thing that might stop me is moral reasons, not fear of getting caught.

Disagree. Jana is my favorite Duggar, but Jessa is the prettiest and Jinger is spunky, so I see all of them getting big attention.

Agreed. Jessa is a knockout, and that matters for producers and audiences. Plus, while Jill has that enthusiastic dorkiness that many find endearing, Jessa looks and almost acts like a normal young woman of the world. She'll get offered tons more than whatever Jill got, and I wouldn't be surprised if a savvy designer offered her a dress in exchange for free promo. Jana won't get that much attention, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if she put her foot down and refused to have her courtship/engagement/wedding filmed, anyway. She really doesn't like being on camera and it shows.

[Rachel333]

Jana won't get that much attention, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if she put her foot down and refused to have her courtship/engagement/wedding filmed, anyway. She really doesn't like being on camera and it shows.

I hadn't really thought of that but you're right; I just cannot imagine Jana courting on camera at all.

[RosyDaisy]

I seriously doubt any of the adult Duggars are getting anything from TLC. JB probably has set up a corporation, and all the TLC, book, and appearance money goes into that corporate account. JB then gives everyone an allowance. The only exception would be Josh.

[Jilli]

I seriously doubt any of the adult Duggars are getting anything from TLC. JB probably has set up a corporation, and all the TLC, book, and appearance money goes into that corporate account. JB then gives everyone an allowance. The only exception would be Josh.

I'm thinking much along the same lines. I think Jill's marriage might help her get a actual check from TLC, and I'm not even positive about that.

I do think it sucks that the adults all have to sign contracts, but JB says they're doing a ministry, so it's unlikely that they'll see the money.

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

The adult kids are probably ignorant of how much money is coming in and truly believe their parents are "taking care of them", not only financially but spiritually. I have been through this with one of my own siblings who is a nurse and lived at home before she got married. She had her paychecks direct deposited into an account only my parents had debit cards for and they would give her an allowance.

Once she got married, she didn't even know what a tax return was and was shocked that she got money back. I told her that she should have received money back every year for the 5 years she lived at home after graduating from college. She just didn't want to believe it and said it wouldn't be in the "right spirit" for her to get copies of bank statements and start questioning our mom.

[silverspoons]

I seriously doubt any of the adult Duggars are getting anything from TLC. JB probably has set up a corporation, and all the TLC, book, and appearance money goes into that corporate account. JB then gives everyone an allowance. The only exception would be Josh.

When reading the new Kate Gosselin book, TLC contract information is in there. They got one paycheck, and it was to the Gosselin family and each child's full name was encompassed by the family corporation. Kody Brown has a corporation set up as well. I can't see the Duggars doing anything different.

I do feel that Jim Bob for debt free appearance sake will give money, a fixer house, something to each kid that follows the rules when they marry. He doesn't want to show the poverty of the average young quiverfull family.

[Coco]

The adult kids are probably ignorant of how much money is coming in and truly believe their parents are "taking care of them", not only financially but spiritually. I have been through this with one of my own siblings who is a nurse and lived at home before she got married. She had her paychecks direct deposited into an account only my parents had debit cards for and they would give her an allowance.

Once she got married, she didn't even know what a tax return was and was shocked that she got money back. I told her that she should have received money back every year for the 5 years she lived at home after graduating from college. She just didn't want to believe it and said it wouldn't be in the "right spirit" for her to get copies of bank statements and start questioning our mom.

Ugh yes. It's tough to believe that fundie parents will limit their children's knowledge like this. These are things that kids need to learn on the journey to adulthood. I'm sorry you and your siblings had to go through that. Been there. :|

[BeccaGrim]

I'm thinking much along the same lines. I think Jill's marriage might help her get a actual check from TLC, and I'm not even positive about that.

I do think it sucks that the adults all have to sign contracts, but JB says they're doing a ministry, so it's unlikely that they'll see the money.

My understanding is Josh and Anna didn't see a penny of individual money away from JB until McKenzie was born. Then they had their own thing negotiated into the show.

[Coconut Flan]

Any adult offspring would need approach TLC for payment. TLC isn't likely to offer. They'll cut one check to Jim Bob (and one to Josh/Anna) as long as they can get by with it.

[Rescinded and Mended]

I hope one or more of the Duggar children decides to sue Jim Bob for his or her share of money owed in the future. That isn't right, Jim Bob sitting like a large toad on top of his financial empire, making money off of his children but never paying them what they are worth, and dispersing only small amounts to them as he sees fit.

[N The Prayer Closet]

I hope one or more of the Duggar children decides to sue Jim Bob for his or her share of money owed in the future. That isn't right, Jim Bob sitting like a large toad on top of his financial empire, making money off of his children but never paying them what they are worth, and dispersing only small amounts to them as he sees fit.

And please, please, please let it be Josiah! If Zach Bates can meet a girl at Sonic, maybe Derick could introduce Josiah or Jedidiah (I like him too) to a normal girl he works with at Wal-Mart that might--*gasp!!*--be an accountant too, educate them on money, be a feminist, and have an attraction to one of them. I'd love to see one of the boys find a non-fundie, no nonsense girl with an education and fall head over heels. ;)

[doubleT]

I don't think Jana would shy away from courting on the show at all. She has spoken in TH's, showed us around a very cleaned up JOTH session and been the featured child a couple of times. I really don't think she is as shy as she appears, I just think she is trying to keep sweet in front of the camera.

I think she really enjoys being on the show.

[16strong]

I think the only one of the kids that will have as large of a wedding as Jessa will be Josie, in an update special years down the line. Of course, this is provided that the Duggars haven't had a few runners by then and the public hasn't lost complete interest in them.

[Tatar-tot]

Jana has had all the work of a marriage her entire life. The work load is final getting lighter. Why on earth would she want to get married now when she final got off diaper duty?

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

I think the only one of the kids that will have as large of a wedding as Jessa will be Josie, in an update special years down the line. Of course, this is provided that the Duggars haven't had a few runners by then and the public hasn't lost complete interest in them.

Can you imagine what a train wreck this family will by then? They will have many teenaged/young adult grandkids doing goodness only knows what by then- maybe forming a Christian rock band and wearing shorts in public..... The horror!

[RosyDaisy]

I would like to see Derick stand up negotiate a contract for Jill and him. Derick isn't stupid, and I really can't see him wanting to be part of the dog and pony show without being compensated.