Long hair question

[MerryHappy]

The Apostolic Pentecostals females do not cut their hair at all. Some wear it up in these weird looking bouffant styles with lots of big curls. I think they like to do those up-dos because it hides how terrible the ends of their hair looks.

On the flip side, the males tend to all have normal hair and wardrobe. Often times the males tend to look nicer than the weemen folk.

In our circles growing up, trims were okay for females if it were to keep the hair looking shiny and healthy. I know not all ATIA families felt that way though.

[Shrinra]

This might be off topic since it would never come up in fundie circles, but are there differing lengths as to where hair is seen as long for men versus women? I am guy with long hair, I guess, it's past my shoulder blades now. I've gotten the "you have long hair comments" for a long time now, ever since it was about chin length and I thought that was odd. A woman with hair that length would almost never considered to have long hair at that length, but I did apparently.

Also, while almost all fundie women have long hair there are some exceptions, even though it seems to go against their espoused beliefs. I'm looking at you Erika Shupe...and still sees herself as holy. I guess some groups are more relaxed?

[Whoregasboard]

My husband went to a christian school, and was growing his hair out. Boy's hair couldn't be past their earlobes or it was "long".

[micatite]

Funny, isn't it, how in the 50s, which all the fundy types seem to glamorize/romanticize, most grown women, especially married women, wore their hair quite short. Long hair was reserved for girls/teens.

[Talitha Cumi]

This might be off topic since it would never come up in fundie circles, but are there differing lengths as to where hair is seen as long for men versus women? I am guy with long hair, I guess, it's past my shoulder blades now. I've gotten the "you have long hair comments" for a long time now, ever since it was about chin length and I thought that was odd. A woman with hair that length would almost never considered to have long hair at that length, but I did apparently.

Also, while almost all fundie women have long hair there are some exceptions, even though it seems to go against their espoused beliefs. I'm looking at you Erika Shupe...and still sees herself as holy. I guess some groups are more relaxed?

I don't know that there were rules in the Adventist church; it was probably more like some teacher collaring you and saying "hey, you need a haircut." But I spent a year at a southern Baptist school in NC, and there they had the boys line up on the way to weekly chapel and the male teachers checked to make sure the hair didn't touch the tops of their ears. One kid had a girl snip off the hair above his ears during homeroom. You got demerits for failing hair check, and those stacked up like Voltron to form punishments.

[PennySycamore]

The terminal length varies widely. My grandmother-in-law always said that she'd never been able to grow her hair past her shoulders. I, on the other hand, grew mine out once almost to my ankles. I keep it chin-length anymore. Much easier to take care of.

[Micah]

When my parents were going through their Christadelphian stage *eyeroll* I had to have my hair long. Christadelphians are fundy, fundy. Girls must only wear skirts or dresses, below knee length, thank you! Long hair, head coverings, no clothing with logos or slogans. There were restrictions for boys too. After a certain age they could only wear trousers, no shorts.

Anyway, my hair is insanely thick and curly. When were with the Christadelphians it grew past my butt. Wet, it was mid thigh length. Wasn't allowed to cut or thin it and it was so heavy it gave me migraines. The second I left home and threw all religion FAR, FAR away, I hacked it off completely. Haven't grown it since. At the moment I have it cut to a number three, with ice blond tips.

I really think my time with the Christadelphians was what led to multiple tattoos, piercings, a wardrobe full of 'immodest' clothing and a vocabulary that would make a sailor flinch. They were so restrictive that, to this day, I try to be utterly and completely opposite, lol. I've always been contrary. It's what led to my parents being kicked out of their first church, separationist Seventh Day Adventists. Apparently I was "of the Devil!" I was three.

[mockingbird]

If it's a really tight curl, probably not. I went to school with a girl who had total 'Merida-from-Brave' type wild (red) curls down past her butt and even when she braided it, which she did most of the time because it was a total PITA to deal with on a day to day basis, it would curl in on itself within the braid. So hair that was past her behind when carefully brushed or picked out fully, would kink in on itself so much that it came to mid-back-length instead.

Natural soft waves are another matter. The weight will pull that right out after a certain point. Mine does. Right now it's long enough that it waves when I first wash it, but after about two days of brushing, it's pretty straight except right at the very ends where it does a flip (but not all of it flips the same direction, dang it!)

Same with me and the waves. My hair used to be very thick and straight, but in the past two or three years it became wavy and I was excited to have a wavy bob when I cut my hair recently. Um no :lol:

Anyway I grew my hair out for 2.5-3 years; before that I hadn't had hair longer than shoulder length since early high school. It was mid to lower back length when I cut it this winter. I cut it because it was starting to annoy me (getting caught while I was driving - UGGGGGH), but it had been the same for awhile so I thought it was probably at terminal length. I ended up cutting off more than I wanted so that I'd be able to donate it but it's now getting to be more at a length that I like - a little longer than shoulder-length and the waves are back and I can put it in a bun. I like the look of a long bob, and everyone always tells me it looks "older"/more professional, but I loved having longer hair because I could do more styles with it (plus you can always do a faux-bob!) so I think I am going to grow it out again - just not as much!

[usmcmom]

I love long hair if it's healthy and kept trimmed. Mine is so fine and thin, it looks horrible when I grow it out :cry: so I keep it short. I know a couple of fundie women with really thin hair (like mine) and it just looks sad and unhealthy because they won't cut it. I think it gives them an unkempt appearance. On the other hand, I know a few fundies who have tons of really thick hair and they just pile it on top of their heads in a massive arrangement of curls. I wonder if they are considered just a little more "feminine" because they got good hair.

Zsu mentioned once that she likes her hair shorter but her husband AND HER BOYS love it longer so she won't cut it. Really? These women let their sons dictate their hairstyle? I do think Teri Maxwell's hair seems very nice and healthy but I think it might look more age appropriate if she pulled it back in a clip at the neck; but I just like that look. Anna Marie has gorgeous hair and always keeps it fixed really neatly, I think. Speaking of Anna Marie; I've been wondering how old she is. Is she considerably younger than Christopher?

I have no idea why I've rambled so on this topic but this smilie seems appropriate: :pull-hair:

[Alachantal]

When I was around 10 or 11 years old my mum sent me to an overnight church summer camp (not the same church as we attended, this was some Christian denomination & we're Catholic) and all the girls had long long hair & we were all required to wear long skirts & 3/4 sleeves (in August!) and cover our heads during services - the long hair was seen as a status symbol for the girls. There was this girl who was like the "queen" of the camp that week: she had long ratty black hair pulled into a loose ponytail that fell down to her feet and everywhere she walked it stirred up the dirt on the floor. No joke. Everyone was mad jealous of this girl for her hair, but looking back on it now I'm like "fuck that", no way I could handle it.

[bionicmlle]

When my parents were going through their Christadelphian stage *eyeroll* I had to have my hair long. Christadelphians are fundy, fundy. Girls must only wear skirts or dresses, below knee length, thank you! Long hair, head coverings, no clothing with logos or slogans. There were restrictions for boys too. After a certain age they could only wear trousers, no shorts.

Anyway, my hair is insanely thick and curly. When were with the Christadelphians it grew past my butt. Wet, it was mid thigh length. Wasn't allowed to cut or thin it and it was so heavy it gave me migraines. The second I left home and threw all religion FAR, FAR away, I hacked it off completely. Haven't grown it since. At the moment I have it cut to a number three, with ice blond tips.

I really think my time with the Christadelphians was what led to multiple tattoos, piercings, a wardrobe full of 'immodest' clothing and a vocabulary that would make a sailor flinch. They were so restrictive that, to this day, I try to be utterly and completely opposite, lol. I've always been contrary. It's what led to my parents being kicked out of their first church, separationist Seventh Day Adventists. Apparently I was "of the Devil!" I was three.

Haha! which branch?

[ADoyle90815]

I love long hair if it's healthy and kept trimmed. Mine is so fine and thin, it looks horrible when I grow it out :cry: so I keep it short. I know a couple of fundie women with really thin hair (like mine) and it just looks sad and unhealthy because they won't cut it. I think it gives them an unkempt appearance. On the other hand, I know a few fundies who have tons of really thick hair and they just pile it on top of their heads in a massive arrangement of curls. I wonder if they are considered just a little more "feminine" because they got good hair.

Zsu mentioned once that she likes her hair shorter but her husband AND HER BOYS love it longer so she won't cut it. Really? These women let their sons dictate their hairstyle? I do think Teri Maxwell's hair seems very nice and healthy but I think it might look more age appropriate if she pulled it back in a clip at the neck; but I just like that look. Anna Marie has gorgeous hair and always keeps it fixed really neatly, I think. Speaking of Anna Marie; I've been wondering how old she is. Is she considerably younger than Christopher?

I have no idea why I've rambled so on this topic but this smilie seems appropriate: :pull-hair:

I also have fine hair, so for me, the longest I can let it grow is to my shoulders before it looks unkempt. I've also found that if I get it cut shorter than chin length, some people call me "sir" so I tend to keep my hair between chin and shoulder length, but in lots of layers. I was raised by an ex-Catholic and a non-practicing Episcopalian, so hair length was never an issue growing up.

[Micah]

Haha! which branch?

Can't remember the exact name of it, but it was started by a guy named Fred Wright in Palm Woods, Queensland Australia. He built this big commune place and all the church members put in money to build a printing press to make money for the church, like life savings amounts of money. Just after my parents left, he buggered off to Germany with every body's money, including my parents. The church folded completely after that, duh. There was some really shady stuff that went on though. My parents have only told me bits and pieces but even those bits are like :pink-shock:

[Miggy]

My sons girlfriend has really tight curly hair which is chin length. I asked her once how long it was when straight and she grabbed a curl and pulled it down to her waist. It looks beautiful: glossy black combined with her pale skin & green eyes but she can't grow it any longer than it currently is. I hate to imagine someone like that in a fundy church.

As for not cutting your hair, I had several Brethren friends at school who were not allow to cut or even trim their hair BUT they were allowed to burn the ends. I never understood why cutting was bad but burning was fine. (All the girls could sit on their hair but all had hair that was quite ratty from about half way down.)

[usmcmom]

I also have fine hair, so for me, the longest I can let it grow is to my shoulders before it looks unkempt. I've also found that if I get it cut shorter than chin length, some people call me "sir" so I tend to keep my hair between chin and shoulder length, but in lots of layers. I was raised by an ex-Catholic and a non-practicing Episcopalian, so hair length was never an issue growing up.

The only issue I had growing up was that I wanted long bangs - you know - like Marcia Brady - (this was in early elementary school) and my mom kept making her cousin/hair stylist trim them (WAY above my eyebrows) at each of her weekly hair appointments. I actually saw the stylist at a big party the other day and reminded her that my mom never let me have long bangs. She laughed and said "I was always the meanie....the moms would stand behind the chair and whisper 'shorter....shorter' as I trimmed." I have since forgiven her. :D

[16strong]

The only issue I had growing up was that I wanted long bangs - you know - like Marcia Brady - (this was in early elementary school) and my mom kept making her cousin/hair stylist trim them (WAY above my eyebrows) at each of her weekly hair appointments. I actually saw the stylist at a big party the other day and reminded her that my mom never let me have long bangs. She laughed and said "I was always the meanie....the moms would stand behind the chair and whisper 'shorter....shorter' as I trimmed." I have since forgiven her. :D

I had bangs as a kid and HATED them. I was only able to grow them out at 7-8ish when I launched an all-out "I hate them with a fiery passion" campaign and went down the list of all my classmates who had recently grown theirs out. But then, I've always been pretty independent and determined. :lol:

[Talitha Cumi]

Question already answered, nvm. :)

Bangs: my mom used to cut our bangs herself using a strip of tape as a guide for a straight line. I hated bangs, but always thought I needed them. Then when I was in college I found the joy of bangless existence.

[ndmomma]

I grew up in a Brethren sect, and our congregation had a lousy Christian school. A local apostolic/Pentecostal ACE crappy school closed, and about 40 of the students ended up at my school. The girls were not allowed make-up, although some put in on in the bathroom after they arrived. They would use hot-sticks curlers to curl their hair, which was often very over-worked with heated instruments. They shared that they often would take a curling iron to wet hair to burn off a section and create bangs, and these bangs were often rather massive, but this was the era of mall hair, so it wasn't so unusual.

The boys looked like every other boy, and one had to leave school a few times to take paternity tests. All of the kids from that group were extraordinarily focused on sexuality and how far they could go. Most ended up married by 18 or earlier.

The couple pictured in this link married when she was around age 16. http://www.gospeloftruth.org/ministries/youth-ministry/ I couldn't believe later that she became a pastor's wife because she had been remarkably un-Christlike as a teenager.

[2xx1xy1JD]

My sons girlfriend has really tight curly hair which is chin length. I asked her once how long it was when straight and she grabbed a curl and pulled it down to her waist. It looks beautiful: glossy black combined with her pale skin & green eyes but she can't grow it any longer than it currently is. I hate to imagine someone like that in a fundy church.

As for not cutting your hair, I had several Brethren friends at school who were not allow to cut or even trim their hair BUT they were allowed to burn the ends. I never understood why cutting was bad but burning was fine. (All the girls could sit on their hair but all had hair that was quite ratty from about half way down.)

Isn't "set fire to your hair" one of the lines from that Dumb Ways To Die song? Really, that can't be safe.

[moodygirl86]

I've had my hair short since I was 16 as I can't be arsed to style it, though I'll spike it up for a gig or a night out. I remember turning up at school with my new hairdo and a girl in my year whom I didn't know very well came up to me and said "Hey Moodygirl, I like your new look! I want to get mine done like that but my dad won't let me as he thinks girls should have long hair." I was surprised to hear this as I knew she had a part time job and could spend her earnings on haircuts or whatever she damn well pleased, and I secretly thought her dad sounded like a misogynist arsehole, but I didn't say anything. But this thread has made me remember her. She did wear her skirts very long as well, so I'm wondering if her family may have been fundie, though that didn't cross my mind at the time.

A couple of years later, at 18 or 19, I was in a Nottingham bar with mates, and this Rasta bloke came over, pointed at my short hairdo and asked "Are you a boy or a girl?" I looked pointedly at his dreadlocks and responded in kind, to which his mate pissed himself. On the same night I got chatted up by a lesbian, and she was really blonde and feminine. She said she thought I'd make an ideal butch half of the combo!

[DGayle]

As someone who goes years at a time without trimming, I can tell you hair reaches a threshold (it's the point at which hair falls out at the same rate it grows to that length, so say hair reaches 3 ft and falls out, the hair will never get past 3 ft no matter how time it grows.) The max length ones hair can reach varies by person to person, but I'd say most people can get hair to their butt.

This. It's why most dog breeds never need a trim. Something about how the follicles will work so long before wearing out, and out drops the hair, and then a new one will start.

[mirele]

I had hair down to my butt for seven years and had it hacked off into a pixie last September. The stylist was like, "Are you sure you wouldn't rather engage in some retail therapy?" I told her "Nope." So we cut it all off and made the awesome discovery that I'd apparently picked up curly hair when I went through menopause.

[DGayle]

My in-law's house is down the street from a Pentecostal church. There are some women there with the most gorgeous long, long hair. Sometimes I'm tempted to attend a service so I can quiz them about their hair care routines. :lol:

Could I offer a little advice? I'm asked a lot how mu hair is so nice. Don't wash as often. Overwashing is what leads to oily hair, but it'll only be at your scalp. The more you wash, the dryer you make the rest of your hair. When I cut down to once a week, I felt icky for a few weeks, but then the oil production slowed, and now my scalp is great. I won't do the no-poo method. If I sweated a lot, I'll wash it that night. I also use hair oil, which you usually think of for African hair, but the one I use gives my hair a little more protection and shine.

[DGayle]

My in-law's house is down the street from a Pentecostal church. There are some women there with the most gorgeous long, long hair. Sometimes I'm tempted to attend a service so I can quiz them about their hair care routines. :lol:

Could I offer a little advice? I'm asked a lot how mu hair is so nice. Don't wash as often. Overwashing is what leads to oily hair, but it'll only be at your scalp. The more you wash, the dryer you make the rest of your hair. When I cut down to once a week, I felt icky for a few weeks, but then the oil production slowed, and now my scalp is great. I won't do the no-poo method. If I sweated a lot, I'll wash it that night. I also use hair oil, which you usually think of for African hair, but the one I use gives my hair a little more protection and shine.

[DGayle]

Having a baby makes you want to chop it all off too. My most drastic hair cuts have happened two to three months after having a baby.

I did that too, the first time. I got so tired of never having time to do anything with my hair that I decided to chop it. I was happy with it until it got too long for short styles, and wasn't long enough for long styles.