Went to the Holy Land Experience Theme Park in Orlando

[micatite]

I thought the pink tunnel (and the pink-tinged cave) were more-than-vaguely erotic. I bet there have been plenty of adolescent fundie boys snickering over them.

Instead of the Tunnel of Love ride, they can add The Tunnel of Abstention and Mortification of the Flesh until Godly Marriage ride. Except there's no pink tunnel and none of those sinful heathen little cupids everywhere or hearts (or bits of them given away to others.) It's all open air and bright sunlight so your accountability partners can keep a watchful eye on you and make sure no hanky panky (or spanky wanky) is going on.

[ThisOlGirl]

I like Adam's farmer tan.

[ThisOlGirl]

They have the fancy gold horses and fancy chairs in the bathroom yet cardboard Jesus. How very strange.

I wonder if there's a fancy chair in the break room for Jesus when he takes a smoke break?

[thoughtful]

That is the cheesiest of the cheesy. Wow.

I want to know if you have to do this to flush the toilets in that Roman Empire bathroom:

[artdecades]

they have some serious chutzpah charging 50 bucks a person for that. I would at least demand a tower of babylon freefall ride or a left behind simulator ride

[Lady Grass Lake]

The entire time we were walking around all I could think of is "I have to put all of this on Free Jinger, they won't believe it."

If you want to have more fun, Google" Holy Land Experience Orlando Florida reviews" and read the reviews, most of them are either 1 star or 5. People either love it or hate it. We looked it up before we went, and after reading all of the terrible reviews, it made us even more eager to go.

I read some reviews that said a lot of Christian schools go there for field trips. We went May 7th and 99% of the people there were senior citizens.

[Snarknado]

Thanks for the pictures! Those bathrooms look like they belong at the Madonna Inn near San Louis Obispo, CA. The rest of it reminds me of Vegas as well.

All the gold reminded me of The Madonna inn!

[VenusDaisy]

Wow! The pictures are fabulous! I especially liked Adam's farmer tan. :D Thank you for taking one for the team!

[lipstickgoalie]

That seems really weird and commercialized to me -- to be baptized in a theme park. "Okay, sweetie, let's get your picture taken with Mickey Mouse and then you're getting Baptized. First Communions are by the Mad Tea Party..."

Umm... I got married at Disney World. Seriously. ::runs away quietly::

[Peas n carrots]

Land of a 1000 LULZ :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I had to pass on the link on to my in-laws. A few years ago they flew in from the UK and we met them down in Orlando, and I kept on threatening to take them to the HLE. I think they would have been amused!

Thoughts:

I'm so loving the farmer tan Adam who looks like a dirty hippie with a cheesy grin.

The pink tunnel...I totally thought it looked like an erotic adventure ride. WTF was that supposed to be?

THE GILT....OMG THE GILT. I agree I haven't ever been in a Vegas casino like that...but then again I'm probably hanging out in the wrong ones (and I need to know where the gaudy ones are!)

On a side note, I always question why ATI et al prefer a clean cut look when Jesus & Co. always look like every hippie and slacker I've ever known.

Second note - was TBN the channel that only came through on antenna that had a show where people sat around and cried? There was a lady with pink hair, and I think a frequent guest was a former NFL player and they would literally sit and sob for an hour about sins or something.

[OkToBeTakei]

O M G !

This made my week!!!!!

Chucky Jesus...

[Tesseract]

There aren't enough smilies to cover this place! Thanks a million times for this! Does anyone else think Jesus looks like DPIAT with long hair?

[nokidsmom]

There aren't enough smilies to cover this place! Thanks a million times for this! Does anyone else think Jesus looks like DPIAT with long hair?

I couldn't open the picture link (firewall at work blocks it) but did do a google search on pictures. OMG. I can't believe this place. Also read reviews, and as others mentioned you either love it or hate but what was really rather amusing were the ones that took it as a genuine Christian experience. Tacky, tacky and OMG the gilt......

Thanks to the OP for taking one for the team. I would probably not get very far for all the laughing and I would probably get thrown out.

[PennySycamore]

Land of a 1000 LULZ :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I had to pass on the link on to my in-laws. A few years ago they flew in from the UK and we met them down in Orlando, and I kept on threatening to take them to the HLE. I think they would have been amused!

Thoughts:

I'm so loving the farmer tan Adam who looks like a dirty hippie with a cheesy grin.

The pink tunnel...I totally thought it looked like an erotic adventure ride. WTF was that supposed to be?

THE GILT....OMG THE GILT. I agree I haven't ever been in a Vegas casino like that...but then again I'm probably hanging out in the wrong ones (and I need to know where the gaudy ones are!)

On a side note, I always question why ATI et al prefer a clean cut look when Jesus & Co. always look like every hippie and slacker I've ever known.

Second note - was TBN the channel that only came through on antenna that had a show where people sat around and cried? There was a lady with pink hair, and I think a frequent guest was a former NFL player and they would literally sit and sob for an hour about sins or something.

Yep, that was TBN and the lady with the pink hair was Jan Crouch.

[crazyforkate]

The whackadoodle fundie-lite family I homeschool-nannied for had their eldest daughter baptized there. It was...weird.

[AllisonWndrland]

OMG PICTURES! Thank you for posting! Those pictures made my day. It was like a gift in Dropbox form. Baptism Jesus was incredibly creepy. His smile was just a bit too medicated for me. I shouldn't judge, though. I would have to be heavily medicated to make it through without being thrown out. My snark would be in full force if I went there.

[ViolaSebastian]

I so want to invest in a big old cardboard cutout of biker Jesus to put on my lawn for the holidays. I'm sure that would put me in the running for the homeowner's association Christmas decoration grand prize.

[Hane]

The Big Pink Tunnel. :pink-shock: Looks like the oddly ladylike entryway to a lot of Scary Things. Enter a little way and you'll find a vagina dentata portcullis.

[usedtobenice]

That's the one. Jan Crouch is the purple haired lady.

[micatite]

Yep, that was TBN and the lady with the pink hair was Jan Crouch.

Yeah, the cotton candy 'do helped to differentiate Jan of the toweled-on mascara from Tammy Fae Bakker (all of them were thick as thieves, though.)

[Dark Matters]

My life will not be complete until I get my own silver nativity and especially a disco lamb.

[Grimalkin]

So were most of the people there really into it? I imagine lots of people would go there to enjoy the utter ridiculousness of the place. I would go. My youngest was never baptized. The person we asked to be his Godfather died suddenly and we never bothered. I wonder if my church would consider that a valid baptism? It's almost like eloping.

[Peas n carrots]

Yep, that was TBN and the lady with the pink hair was Jan Crouch.

I'm happy I now know this. I used to watch that show - greatly amusing!

Definitely taking the in-laws there next time they want to go to Orlando :twisted:

[thoughtful]

My life will not be complete until I get my own silver nativity and especially a disco lamb.

Here's a friend for the lamb:

[WifeofBill]

I took my kids there since we are local. My daughter was OBSESSED with camels and I was under the impression that they had camels at the park. (I believe at one time they did have live animals). Thankfully we had free tickets, because we lasted less than an hour. My kids were the only kids in the park, so every character wanted to stop and talk to them. We did find a costumed camel, that thing was creepy, like nightmare inducing creepy. I honestly don't know how they stay open. I don't know any locals who go, and the day we went the weather was gorgeous and there were maybe 100 people there.