Woman Reveals Why She Decided To Film Her Abortion

[Marianne]

Exactly! Job or volunteer is irrelevant, she works at the clinic she had birth control and information readily available to her and she chose to not use it.

This is crazy. seriously. It makes me think of bareback sex with people who CAN have condoms, but prefered to take the risk to have/to give AIDS.

[2xx1xy1JD]

The narrative didn't ring true, which makes me suspect that it was either totally fake, or at least scripted.

I can understand a condom breaking, or taking a pill a few hours late, or a sponge getting dislodged, or finding out that an antibiotic you took interfered with the pill - all of those have happened to me or people that I know. I can even understand that someone would get careless if they got drunk. I don't understand "I work in a clinic and talk about birth control all the time but somehow didn't think to use it myself".

It also doesn't make sense to me that someone would have unprotected sex, be concerned enough to take a pregnancy test, but be completely surprised that it's positive. Shocked and panicked I can understand, but surprised?

I also don't think it would make sense for someone to do this video, and then bitch about negative feedback. If you want to keep this aspect of your life private, you have that option. I don't make sense to make a video that's all about you and how you are totally fine with your decision, and not expect that somebody on the internet may have issues with you.

[Firiel]

The narrative didn't ring true, which makes me suspect that it was either totally fake, or at least scripted.

I can understand a condom breaking, or taking a pill a few hours late, or a sponge getting dislodged, or finding out that an antibiotic you took interfered with the pill - all of those have happened to me or people that I know. I can even understand that someone would get careless if they got drunk. I don't understand "I work in a clinic and talk about birth control all the time but somehow didn't think to use it myself".

It also doesn't make sense to me that someone would have unprotected sex, be concerned enough to take a pregnancy test, but be completely surprised that it's positive. Shocked and panicked I can understand, but surprised?

I also don't think it would make sense for someone to do this video, and then bitch about negative feedback. If you want to keep this aspect of your life private, you have that option. I don't make sense to make a video that's all about you and how you are totally fine with your decision, and not expect that somebody on the internet may have issues with you.

Additionally, I've done some reading up on abortion doulas, and I've seen info for two training courses (one in Texas, one in New York). The training courses are 2-day intensive courses. She supposedly was trained and then went to the local clinic to ask about volunteering where the clinic promptly decided to hire her for a paying position.

What kind of self-respecting clinic has a woman walk in with two days of training and a completely irrelevant résumé and just offers her a job as an abortion counselor?! I mean, my boyfriend can't even find office work with a masters degree and 3+ years of experience with office work. I now need to go look up abortion counselor job descriptions to see what experience they require.

[jerkit]

The narrative didn't ring true, which makes me suspect that it was either totally fake, or at least scripted.

I can understand a condom breaking, or taking a pill a few hours late, or a sponge getting dislodged, or finding out that an antibiotic you took interfered with the pill - all of those have happened to me or people that I know. I can even understand that someone would get careless if they got drunk. I don't understand "I work in a clinic and talk about birth control all the time but somehow didn't think to use it myself".

It also doesn't make sense to me that someone would have unprotected sex, be concerned enough to take a pregnancy test, but be completely surprised that it's positive. Shocked and panicked I can understand, but surprised?

I also don't think it would make sense for someone to do this video, and then bitch about negative feedback. If you want to keep this aspect of your life private, you have that option. I don't make sense to make a video that's all about you and how you are totally fine with your decision, and not expect that somebody on the internet may have issues with you.

All of this.

There is something very contrived about this story. I am firmly on team "pro-life organization created this to vilify abortion providers"

[Firiel]

All of this.

There is something very contrived about this story. I am firmly on team "pro-life organization created this to vilify abortion providers"

I really don't get the right-wing conspiracy vibe from this (although, realizing I'm in the minority, I obviously could be wrong). I mean, if it is a right-wing conspiracy, they did a shitty job considering it won an award for in a pro-choice video competition. If it's a hoax (which I do think is likely), I tend to think it was designed by Emily to get exposure for her name/acting career. I suspect that she was trying to make it come off as super positive and pro-choice, but that she failed to the understand current political landscape/discussion/assumptions surrounding the topic.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Out of curiosity, I read some more about abortion doulas.

http://abortiongang.org/2012/01/04/so-w ... ion-doula/

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archi ... la/284219/

Some of my random thoughts:

1. It sounds like the doula only meets the client in the clinic. Why? I would have thought that you really need someone to be there when you are making the decision (she mentions an example of a woman wanting the baby but feeling that it's just not feasible - perhaps a good counselor could provide practical, impartial information on available resources so that she can make a truly informed decision and feel that she explored all possibilities) and when going to and from the clinic (esp. if there are protesters).

2. The doula in the Atlantic article rubs me the wrong way. She says

Sometimes I’ll encounter clients who are incredibly emotional and incredibly forthcoming. Others are just silent and shut down and in their box—going through the motions. Regardless, I have to bring the same core of compassion and offer it in different ways to all of these different clients. Not all of them are interested in receiving it. Of the seven I was with yesterday, five of them were not really interested in connecting. They don’t want to make eye contact. They’re resistant to my offered hand.

They’re not interested in communication, so it challenges me to get creative as to how I can provide compassionate care to someone who is seemingly not wanting to receive it. I believe, nonetheless, that they’re still being affected by my presence, even on an unconscious level.

Does that mean that they don't want her there? Because if it were me, and this person was there who I hadn't requested, and who was a total stranger expecting me to suddenly open up about my emotions during the process, my reaction would be "get the fuck out".

[bal maiden]

I had a very different take on this!

I thought it was great to actually show an empowered woman making a decision she knows is the right one without tears, shame, and all the guilt women are "supposed" to feel. I thought it was great to show that the procedure was relatively quick and easy for her. When it was over she felt relief and was optimistic.

Very often, in our culture, even among staunchly pro choice people, there is an expectation of guilt or emotional pain or suffering or regret. That isn't always the case! I think it is powerful to show women this is an option, if you aren't ready, and it doesn't mean you will be emotionally scarred for life.

Was she irresponsible? Yup. So are a lot of ppl. Is she an attention whore? Could be. Is it a hoax? If it is, in my opinion it failed. The anti-choice crowd would have more luck if they kept perpetuating the repentant, emotionally damaged, wailing, post abortion trauma sufferer. "Don't do it, it will ruin you forever!"

You took the thoughts right out of my brain!

[Marianne]

2. The doula in the Atlantic article rubs me the wrong way. She says

Does that mean that they don't want her there? Because if it were me, and this person was there who I hadn't requested, and who was a total stranger expecting me to suddenly open up about my emotions during the process, my reaction would be "get the fuck out".

+1 ! if the people don't want you, go outside ! It's really... condescending. Like "I am here for helping you, I loooooooove you, I am sooooo usefull for you !" Make me think of the psychologist in the foster care. Even if you didn't want to see one, you have to. I had panic attack before seeing him, because he wanted to make eye contact and physical contact even if I didn't want. He thought it was usefull to help people who didn't want help.

[chaotic life]

abortion doula = the role a good nurse is SUPPOSED to take as a patient advocate and patient educator.

I totally get that the anti-choice movement feels the ONLY person redeemable after having an abortion is the one who is completely devastated and realizes that she has murdered a child. I get it because some of my earliest memories are holding signs and picketing abortion clinics. I grew up drenched this culture when abortion was the last stand issue, before LBGT came on the scene to replace it in a lot of ways.

So, if the point of the exercise was to demonstrate that gut wrenching guilt and depression is NOT the only legitimate response a woman can have to an abortion, then in that sense this video does accomplish that.

However, there are two issues with that. First is the fact that what this does present is colossal ignorance and irresponsibility. How can you even state with a straight face that you are a birth control counselor and then admit you aren't USING birth control of any kind. How can you counsel other women and yet not grasp the implications not only of not using consistent birth control, but not using emergency birth control AND not seeking medical before surgical options once you realize your stupidity and mistake. In all of those senses, this does NOT deconstruct stereotypes about abortion but rather reinforces them. And, those stereotypes are FAR more harmful than the requirement that women should only display the contrite whore mentality after having an abortion.

Second, this video completely misses the most important part of all of it. Surgical abortion IS a surgical procedure. Surgical procedures carry risks, and are highly invasive procedures. It does not matter what type of surgery you have, nor that the surgery is an outpatient surgery, all surgeries are by their nature invasive and present risks to them. Informed consent REQUIRES that doctors and nurses go over those risks with patients prior to the surgical procedure. There is no acknowledgement of those risks in this scenario. No discussion that all surgeries can cause infection, will increase your risk of a blood clot, will have pain afterward, can cause scar tissue. Scar tissue in the uterus, the site of this particular procedure can cause edometriosis and/or infertility later. And with ALL surgeries, the ultimate worst case scenario is that surgery can cause death. None of that is meant to be a scare tactic. It's the reality of invasive procedures. And when someone has an invasive surgical procedure, the surgeon is required to discuss how high the risk for each condition is, because I cannot tell you how high the risk of each of those is in this particular surgery.

I'm WAY past my days of picketing abortion clinics. I don't care about the baby versus mother mindset. I certainly don't care about dictating how any woman emotionally responds to her choices, nor whether she has a right to make those choices. But, it is irresponsible to not acknowledge the risks of invasive surgical procedures.

[snuggles911]

The narrative didn't ring true, which makes me suspect that it was either totally fake, or at least scripted.

I can understand a condom breaking, or taking a pill a few hours late, or a sponge getting dislodged, or finding out that an antibiotic you took interfered with the pill - all of those have happened to me or people that I know. I can even understand that someone would get careless if they got drunk. I don't understand "I work in a clinic and talk about birth control all the time but somehow didn't think to use it myself".

It also doesn't make sense to me that someone would have unprotected sex, be concerned enough to take a pregnancy test, but be completely surprised that it's positive. Shocked and panicked I can understand, but surprised?

I also don't think it would make sense for someone to do this video, and then bitch about negative feedback. If you want to keep this aspect of your life private, you have that option. I don't make sense to make a video that's all about you and how you are totally fine with your decision, and not expect that somebody on the internet may have issues with you.

I agree with everything you said. I have a strange feeling that this may be a fake video staged by a pro-life group.

Honestly, I'm sick of the dishonesty from both camps. Many pro-lifers would have you believe that everyone who has an abortion is callous and irresponsible like this woman. Meanwhile many pro-choicers seem unwilling to recognize that whether you believe you are aborting a baby or a potential baby or a clump of cells, in the end something that was alive is dead and that makes abortion something that is more fraught with emotion than most medical procedures.

Also, I'm not sure whether most health care providers are as willing to describe the procedures used for abortions as they are to describe other medical procedures. When I had surgery for an ovarian cyst, the ob-gym took out her laptop and showed me a short video of the procedure she would be using to prepare me for it.

Yet, when I needed a D&C (the fetus had died, but I hadn't miscarried) she didn't offer to explain how the procedure would be performed. I was too distraught to ask; I just wanted it to be over. But, she could have offered. I don't know if this is a common experience or if my situation was unusual.

[chaotic life]

Having now watched the video and read her Cosmo article, I suspect this is not a hoax. It reads very bit to me like she planned it, to use it both so she can "relate" to the clients and to garner attention. Yeah, not busting stereotypes at all with that one.

[Firiel]

Having now watched the video and read her Cosmo article, I suspect this is not a hoax. It reads very bit to me like she planned it, to use it both so she can "relate" to the clients and to garner attention. Yeah, not busting stereotypes at all with that one.

The more I read about it, the more I'm slipping into the scripted/planned category as well. Being an entitled attention-seeker jives with irresponsible birth control use, IMO. But I still can't understand how she was hired as an abortion counselor at the clinic when she really doesn't have any relevant experience. I saw at least one job description for an abortion counselor, and it required a MA in counseling or a related field (but would consider graduate students).

[Toothfairy]

I'm reading some of the comments on other boards and I don't understand why the woman is always to blame. She should've kept her legs closed, yet no one every says he should've kept it in his pants. Not defending her actions just an observation.

[Firiel]

I'm reading some of the comments on other boards and I don't understand why the woman is always to blame. She should've kept her legs closed, yet no one every says he should've kept it in his pants. Not defending her actions just an observation.

That is a really good observation. There is something to be said about the blatant hypocrisy of her particularly having unsafe sex because of her position as an abortion counselor, but that only partially accounts for the double standard that I'm now seeing in my own thoughts. The man was just as responsible to bring/use a condom. Thanks for pointing that out to me.

[moodygirl86]

+1 ! if the people don't want you, go outside ! It's really... condescending. Like "I am here for helping you, I loooooooove you, I am sooooo usefull for you !" Make me think of the psychologist in the foster care. Even if you didn't want to see one, you have to. I had panic attack before seeing him, because he wanted to make eye contact and physical contact even if I didn't want. He thought it was usefull to help people who didn't want help.

In the UK when you've been a victim of a crime, the cops automatically pass your details on to Victim Support - unless you ask them not to. (Which most people won't remember to do when they're preoccupied with the issue at hand.) Anyway, I had some money stolen from me four years ago and got a call from this Victim Support volunteer. I swear to God he was reading off a script. He asked if I felt traumatised, which I didn't. When I said no, just bloody annoyed, he then said verbatim "You mustn't blame yourself. You didn't do anything wrong." I replied, "I know, that's why I'm determined to fight to get my money back any way I can."

Him: "Most victims wouldn't have that much confidence!"

Me (agreeing, thinking he's complimenting me): "I don't see myself as a victim, just someone this person found convenient to target. I prefer that term as it puts the focus on the perpetrator and what he chose to do."

Him (sounding agitated that I'm taking him off script): "But you are a victim, whether you like it or not!"

Me (not liking his patronising attitude but making an effort to stay polite): "Sure I'm a victim in the legal sense, but that's not the point, is it? I'm free to choose how I deal with it, and crying about it won't change what happened."

Him (adopting a tone of voice more appropriate for a five-year-old whose sweets have been taken off her): "You don't have to put on a front with me, Miss Moody. I know you must be kicking yourself really."

Me: Kicking myself for what? You just said I hadn't done anything wrong!

Him: For trusting the person who stole from you.

Me: You're contradicting yourself. One minute you tell me not to blame myself, then proceed to blame me. Next you try and act all comforting, then imply I'm wrong for not being more upset. Are you saying I'm only allowed to feel better if YOU'VE helped me get there? Because you sound genuinely offended that I was doing all right before you phoned.

Him: - general incoherent spluttering on his end of the phone.

Me: "Look, thanks for the call, but I really don't feel this is a service that will benefit me. And just some feedback, people are all individuals whether they're victims or not. Please start treating them as such and remember there's a reason God gave us two ears and just one mouth."

I considered asking to be put through to his supervisor, but that's probably who's trained him to come out with such condescending waffle.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I agree with everything you said. I have a strange feeling that this may be a fake video staged by a pro-life group.

Honestly, I'm sick of the dishonesty from both camps. Many pro-lifers would have you believe that everyone who has an abortion is callous and irresponsible like this woman. Meanwhile many pro-choicers seem unwilling to recognize that whether you believe you are aborting a baby or a potential baby or a clump of cells, in the end something that was alive is dead and that makes abortion something that is more fraught with emotion than most medical procedures.

Also, I'm not sure whether most health care providers are as willing to describe the procedures used for abortions as they are to describe other medical procedures. When I had surgery for an ovarian cyst, the ob-gym took out her laptop and showed me a short video of the procedure she would be using to prepare me for it.

Yet, when I needed a D&C (the fetus had died, but I hadn't miscarried) she didn't offer to explain how the procedure would be performed. I was too distraught to ask; I just wanted it to be over. But, she could have offered. I don't know if this is a common experience or if my situation was unusual.

I had a D&C for a missed miscarriage. I don't recall the OB going into much explanation about the procedure, although I knew what it was and wouldn't have wanted a detailed description at that point. At the stage I was at, it wasn't really an optional surgery, so I wasn't weighing one option against another. For that matter, I didn't get a detailed description of a c-section either with my births - the anesthesia was explained in detail, but not the nitty-gritty of the operation.

[chaotic life]

Informed consent is subjective and at the mercy of the judgment of the individual practitioner to provide to their patients. It's legally required but even courts have had trouble clarifying what it involves. Some practitioners are excellent at providing a good faith effort of informed consent. Others are paternalistic and make no effort whatsoever.

[Coconut Flan]

Marianne, a voluntary interruption of pregnancy is an abortion. It's also called voluntary termination of pregnancy. It can be done with pills which is the most common method or by surgery.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I'm reading some of the comments on other boards and I don't understand why the woman is always to blame. She should've kept her legs closed, yet no one every says he should've kept it in his pants. Not defending her actions just an observation.

To be perfectly clear, I'm not "blaming" her and her alone for getting pregnant.

I'm wondering if anyone has verified that this pregnancy ever existed, since the story seems so odd.

I don't think that a woman needs to feel intense guilt when conception only took place 2-3 weeks prior, and the embryo is between the size of a sesame seed and a lentil.

I am saying that the attitude on the video seemed really bizarre - either she is completely oblivious to her own well-being and is desperate for attention, or she made up all or part of the story because she's even more desperate for attention.

I'm not sure if there ever was a conception. If there was, he was never told about it so there's not much to say about the guy. In other cases, where I see guys whining about child support or about the fact that a woman wants to abort, I do think "he should have kept it in his pants".

[Mama Mia]

One of the most annoying things in the video, to me, was the twangy/folksy/ depression era music playing in the background. It seemed way too much like she was trying to portray herself as some poor woman who has always been downtrodden and oppressed and is finally standing up to her persecutors. Like she was the Norma Rae of abortion. When I think a Kei$ha soundtrack would have been more appropriate to her general attitude.

[usedtobenice]

I'm just going to go ahead and say it...

As someone who has terminated a pregnancy, I find this extremely gut-wrenching...and I didn't even watch it! I can't imagine there is any (stable) woman who has gone through this that is actually proud of it. I'm not going to really discuss this because obviously it's an extremely personal decision someone makes, but...really... :wtf: ??

I'm stable, and was proud that I had an abortion. It was the first time in my life I did not let anyone else make a decision for me. I knew what was best for me and it was. For me it wasn't gut wrenching. It was freeing. Don't make blanket statements. You can never know any other person's mind.

[yetanothermeg]

http://www.buzzfeed.com/richardhjames/w ... r-abortion

After the procedure, she said: “I don’t feel like a bad person. I don’t feel sad. I feel in awe of the fact that I can make a baby. I can make a life.

The quote really makes me question the whole thing. "I am in awe of the fact that I can make a baby. I can make a life," and then what, end it? She doesn't say embryo or fetus which is strange for someone who is supposedly a counselor at a clinic. And the filming it and then writing about it. I don't know, I am just an armchair psychologist, but the risky sex, attention seeking, weird language, she seems like she some kind of psychological issue.

[Firiel]

The quote really makes me question the whole thing. "I am in awe of the fact that I can make a baby. I can make a life," and then what, end it? She doesn't say embryo or fetus which is strange for someone who is supposedly a counselor at a clinic. And the filming it and then writing about it. I don't know, I am just an armchair psychologist, but the risky sex, attention seeking, weird language, she seems like she some kind of psychological issue.

Yeah, that seemed really strange to me too. Combined with the risky sex and the weird things that just don't line up (HOW did she get offered a job on the spot without any sort of relevant degree or experience?), I just think something is off. Whether it is a hoax or she is exaggerating info or she scripted the whole thing or whatever, something feels off.

It's strange to me that she doesn't so much seem to be un-demonizing abortion as much as she is glorifying it. It's like she trying to say that abortion isn't a Bad Thing™ that you should be proud of.

I think there's a difference between being proud that you made the decision to have an abortion because it was best for you and being proud of your abortion because it's an abortion. It's a medical procedure. I'm not proud I had my wisdom teeth out in high school. I'm not proud that I got an IUD inserted. I'm glad I no longer have to worry about wisdom teeth I feel good about the fact that I was able to jump through the hoops to get said IUD even though it was frustrating at times, but Getting an IUD™ is not some cool thing I'll put on my resume.

I don't know if that makes sense. Her super-glorification of something practical would bother me whatever the video was about because that kind of thing rubs me the wrong way in general. So maybe I'm not even talking about the content anymore.

"I just want to share my story." :roll:

[Bubblewand]

I happen to live in the town and only a few miles away from where this woman works. This women's center is picketed every weekend, across the street from a huge shopping center, down the street from a huge mall, on a very traveled road. I pass it daily on my commute.

I'm not sure if I believe if the actual abortion is real. I wasn't allowed to record my c-section when my son was born (at a different place, but the huge hospital system in the same city), with liability being cited. I can't imagine that a camera would be allowed during an abortion either.

I'm also shocked that a woman in her position would not be using birth control. I'm very pro choice, but I think this is one thing in a series of bad choices in the matter. I'm not judging her for terminating. It was her choice and her legal right, and she doesn't have to answer to anyone.

However, if it is real, people now know her name, where she works and can easily find her. In my own Facebook news feed, I had quite a few local friends post the story and within 2 posts, someone knew her and posted where she lived. I'd be shocked if some crazy right wing pro lifer doesn't try to kill her before the week is over.

[salex]

Good, I am not the only one!

I personally can't imagine an abortion provider allowing the filming of the procedure --especially not by by some apparently stupid and careless employee, much less letting her add her own idiotic commentary.... it sounds like an anti abortion advertisment, frankly.