Why Jill First?

[Rebelwife]

I think up to a certain point that is absolutely true. All of their international trips were, I believe, engineered by TLC. Various other excursions and activities also seem like TLC ideas. But there's a big difference between taking the family abroad for two weeks because TLC thinks it would help ratings, and literally manufacturing a courtship and marriage for your child because TLC thinks it would help ratings. Jim Bob doesn't need TLC that much and he knows it.

Ah, OK. I don't disagree with that. I was speaking more to the timing of the announcements and weddings and the order in which they would occur.

[lascuba]

I think it's interesting - since the timing is very apparent in some of the talking heads which were filmed during taping and which have definitely been later on (in taping) or even post them viewing the episode but before full production sorts - that we even SAW the Michelle TH saying that Jessa and Ben would be their first engaged AND married couple.

It was clearly actually after the Bates wedding and there was another TH with the same colour background when she mentions Jill starting to talk to Derick, but still we see her saying Jessa and Ben would be the first to do both.

I'm curious if maybe she underestimated how strongly Jill was feeling and how quickly things would progress once Derick was home?

Or did something cause things to slow down with Ben and Jessa also?

Or is it really just timing and Derick asking first, etc?

Don't get me wrong, I think it's far, far better that Jill and Derick are marrying first (for a host of reasons) but I was surprised we saw that blatant Michelle TH.

I really think Michelle was lying about Jessa and Ben being the first to marry because they need to match the media's timeline of events. If Ben's relative hadn't posted that picture on facebook we might not even know yet that Jessa and Ben are courting. They were able to keep Jill and Derick quiet for so long--so much that when pictures of Jill and Jim Bob in Nepal leaked no one suspected the real reason they were there--that I think they had the same intention with Jessa. So, based on leaks and official announcements, the audience believes Jill didn't start courting until after Jessa did, even though she and Derrick had been communicating for a while and were clearly unofficially courting.

That explains why all the Ben scenes with Jessa and the family have looked even more staged and awkward than is typical for the show. They had to recreate their time together for the cameras because now that the cat's out of the bag they need to give the audience something. That Jill's engaged first may seem odd to viewers, but I doubt anyone in the family is surprised.

[thekate]

I really think Michelle was lying about Jessa and Ben being the first to marry because they need to match the media's timeline of events. If Ben's relative hadn't posted that picture on facebook we might not even know yet that Jessa and Ben are courting. They were able to keep Jill and Derick quiet for so long--so much that when pictures of Jill and Jim Bob in Nepal leaked no one suspected the real reason they were there--that I think they had the same intention with Jessa. So, based on leaks and official announcements, the audience believes Jill didn't start courting until after Jessa did, even though she and Derrick had been communicating for a while and were clearly unofficially courting.

That explains why all the Ben scenes with Jessa and the family have looked even more staged and awkward than is typical for the show. They had to recreate their time together for the cameras because now that the cat's out of the bag they need to give the audience something. That Jill's engaged first may seem odd to viewers, but I doubt anyone in the family is surprised.

Also, depending on when exactly that talking head was filmed, Jill may not have been officially courting yet. Jill and Derick started officially courting in November, but Erin's wedding was Nov. 2 (before the Nepal trip), so if they film the talking heads close to the time of the episode's events I find it plausible that she thought Jessa and Ben would marry first.

I totally agree with your last paragraph about the staging and the viewing audience.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I really think Michelle was lying about Jessa and Ben being the first to marry because they need to match the media's timeline of events. If Ben's relative hadn't posted that picture on facebook we might not even know yet that Jessa and Ben are courting. They were able to keep Jill and Derick quiet for so long--so much that when pictures of Jill and Jim Bob in Nepal leaked no one suspected the real reason they were there--that I think they had the same intention with Jessa. So, based on leaks and official announcements, the audience believes Jill didn't start courting until after Jessa did, even though she and Derrick had been communicating for a while and were clearly unofficially courting.

That explains why all the Ben scenes with Jessa and the family have looked even more staged and awkward than is typical for the show. They had to recreate their time together for the cameras because now that the cat's out of the bag they need to give the audience something. That Jill's engaged first may seem odd to viewers, but I doubt anyone in the family is surprised.

Wasn't it Ben who posted the picture and his aunt who said they were dating (I say dating cause she called Jessa his girlfriend)?

[lascuba]

I think you're right, DuggarsTheEndIsNear.

Oh, to have been a fly on the wall when that picture made it out of Ben's facebook page. Everyone from Jessa to Jim Bob to TLC producers must have been freaking out.

[Rescinded and Mended]

I'm sure that a courtship wasn't manufactured for the show, but that it was discussed that people were losing interest and that people think it's weird to have SAHDs who are that way out of obligations to faith/family rather than things like financial constraints.

The conversation also could have happened a few years ago and it wasn't until the Bates started marrying off that the girls realized that they were at that age.

I doubt that JB would force any of his children into a marriage. Like I said before on another thread, it's not good for the brand to have a failed marriage. But, he's probably happy to finally see the girls are interested in allowing courtships to happen.

And TLC is likely just as happy, or more so, because it allows them to promote the Duggars more.

I think this is all very much true. To the bolded, I think it explains why Michelle hasn't turned up pregnant again. At her age, it's less likely, but definitely still possible. Michelle nearly died having Josie, she lost Jubilee completely, and I think that, as a business man, Jim Bob knows it's bad for their brand if Michelle has any more pregnancies that go completely off the rails.

I don't want to say that Jim Bob's so cold-blooded and calculating as to believe that he shouldn't be trying to impregnate Michelle simply because it might hurt their brand right now. But it does seem like if he'd worried sooner by taking Michelle's mental and physical health into consideration, she would be in a better place health-wise, even if they didn't have the wealth and perks from their TV show.

[Coconut Flan]

I think they are both foolish enough to continue leaving the possibility of pregnancy open, but the chance of a conception at her age is tiny (yes, I know extreme outliers have happened my mother's cousin had one) and the risk of miscarriage is very great. I don't think they'd announce any possible conceptions until around four months or even later if they could manage it. I don't think she stands much at all chance of achieving even that. I think peri-menopause has taken over and resolved the issue for them.

[LongDogMom]

I think Benessa happened solely to save the show. There, I said it. Plus, Jim Boob has quite a problem now, doesn't he? If Ben stays in school, there will be no wedding ratings bonanza for at least three years.

----------------------

Maybe Jim Bob will allow some of the TLC money to go Ben's way in order to help support them as a married couple while Ben finishes school. It's not like Ben isn't on the show enough to get paid. Heck, maybe TLC will offer Ben and Jessa their own spinoff show and that'll pay the bills!

[FrancineFishpaw]

I was thinking the same thing. Surely Derick and Ben get paid to be on the show?

[for_the_Kitties]

IDKY but I assumed Ben was in a 2 year associates program. I guess because vocational training seems more valued in their circles

FMJ has told us several times in other discussion threads about his program. She goes to his school and has spoken of it here before. Her earlier post on this thread says if he just got into the business program (finished pre-reqs, etc), he'd have 2 more years if he was a full time student.

[pega127]

Maybe no wedding for Jessa and Ben; but there could easily be more grandchildren and/or a wedding for JD, Jana or Jinger. Plenty of possible material to keep the TLC $$$ coming in for JB!

[N The Prayer Closet]

I don't pray but I may consider praying for Jana. She really should be out of the house and married by now, NOT arrogant, immature Jill. Jill loves the attention and Jana looks like she is about to crumble in all of the talking heads. I hope Jana marries a smoking hot, college graduate who is a youth pastor in a big, progressive church. She would have hundreds of friends, listen to Christian rock music, and wear pants. Big mega churches near our home have dances, put on really fantastic theater productions, and stop reproducing after 2 or 3 kids. I'd love to see her get married very soon and move far, far away from her cult family. No fair that Jill goes first...

[ariel9]

I don't pray but I may consider praying for Jana. She really should be out of the house and married by now, NOT arrogant, immature Jill. Jill loves the attention and Jana looks like she is about to crumble in all of the talking heads. I hope Jana marries a smoking hot, college graduate who is a youth pastor in a big, progressive church. She would have hundreds of friends, listen to Christian rock music, and wear pants. Big mega churches near our home have dances, put on really fantastic theater productions, and stop reproducing after 2 or 3 kids. I'd love to see her get married very soon and move far, far away from her cult family. No fair that Jill goes first...

Do it!