Open Season (Duggars)

[Kelsey]

Recently, Jim Bob has made quite a few interesting comments re: courtship.

 

During the premiere he declared it "open season" for courting. Also, he stated that he has suggested guys to the girls in the past and they have not been interested but lately they have been interested. I wonder what is responsible for the change. Age, peer pressure, a little bit of both?

[singsingsing]

Probably age. Courting for them isn't like dating (as they insist to us again and again). When I was 17 I started dating my then boyfriend. I thought he was good-looking, smart, and we had a lot in common, so I said yes when he asked me out. If I'd thought, "There's a 95% chance I'm going to marry this guy within one or two years" like with courtship, I'm not sure I would've said yes. Also I think more guys (and better quality guys, not creepers) are going to be interested in them now that they're out of their teens.

[FloraDoraDolly]

I think it's more about Jim Bob and Michelle being more willing to let the older girls go, now that there aren't any babies in the family anymore and the howlers are entering their teens. Everyone except Josie and maybe Jordyn can wipe their own nose and put on their own coat.

[Georgiana]

Also, they have friends doing it now. They may have felt shy/scared/not ready, but once their friends started to court, they became more OK with the idea.

Not necessarily peer pressure, just pack animal behavior. Humans in general will stay at pace with the peer group they identify with. Even secular girls will start dating after their friend does. Or you'll have a close knit group of couples, and once one has a baby the other couples start having kids. Actually, studies show people will even feel more motivated lose weight if they see a close friend do it.

I think they saw Smugs as part of an older set, but Erin (and Alyssa/Michael) they thought of more as a peer.

[Rescinded and Mended]

I think it's more about Jim Bob and Michelle being more willing to let the older girls go, now that there aren't any babies in the family anymore and the howlers are entering their teens. Everyone except Josie and maybe Jordyn can wipe their own nose and put on their own coat.

Yeah, I'm gonna be mean and totally agree with this. :lol:

I'm convinced that only when Michelle was ABSOLUTELY sure that she would never have to change another diaper or comfort another crying toddler (except for maybe Josie) did she and Boob decide to start letting J'Slaves go.

[singsingsing]

But she's not convinced. Quite the opposite. It seems she's still actively trying, and consulting doctors in her quest to get pregnant yet again.

[16strong]

I would like nothing better than for a doctor to tell Michelle that she can no longer conceive. That, and to be turned down by an adoption agency. Michelle needs a last word to get it through her head that she is Just. Too. Old.

Give it up already, it looks desperate.

[eye_browz]

A few of our girls have had men come up to them and ask for their phone numbers. And our daughters have always explained to them that if anybody asked for their phone numbers, they would tell them to ask their dad. Then they would give them Jim Bob’s phone number. Sometimes the guy would never call and other times they would, but the girls would quickly let Jim Bob know if there was an interest on THEIR part. Jim Bob is the “no†man.

He doesn’t mind being that guy and he’ll always use these calls as an opportunity to encourage those young men in their walk with Christ. A lot of times that weeds out the young men. Either they’ve got a spiritual focus or they don’t.

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/19-kids-and ... pgn=fbtlc1

From Michelle's blog it seems like the girls would give an a guy JB's phone number, then tell their dad that they aren't interested that a guy; then JB tells young man that "no".

[Toothfairy]

I'm sorry this is so disrespectful towards his daughters. They are not products. And JB should realize there are bad people in this world. Even ones that can get passed his questioning.

[notaduggarlover]

I think they are trying to keep up with the Bates family. How dare their kids aren't married first. Now they have to play catch up and the only way to do that is to let the girls start courting.

[Arete]

There aren't going to be anymore babies. Jim Bob needed a new hook to keep the show viable.

He is a GRIFTER. He changes the con when necessary to keep the money coming in. People will watch Duggar girl weddings.

[Rescinded and Mended]

But she's not convinced. Quite the opposite. It seems she's still actively trying, and consulting doctors in her quest to get pregnant yet again.

Didn't she admit a couple of times that she likely wouldn't have anymore? :think: I missed the previews for the next episode, was there any mention as to what the bloodwork was for?

And even so, if she really believed it was possible to get pregnant at this point, I'm still thinking she wouldn't be willing to turn loose of her oldest daughters. Unless she was okay with it because Joyanna was aging into that particular bracket. But hell, even poor Joy can't do everything.

[singsingsing]

Didn't she admit a couple of times that she likely wouldn't have anymore? :think: I missed the previews for the next episode, was there any mention as to what the bloodwork was for?

And even so, if she really believed it was possible to get pregnant at this point, I'm still thinking she wouldn't be willing to turn loose of her oldest daughters. Unless she was okay with it because Joyanna was aging into that particular bracket. But hell, even poor Joy can't do everything.

She has admitted that Josie might be her last, but she is most definitely still trying to get pregnant. She stated that very clearly in the previews, and I think has said it several times in interviews. I know I'm part of the minority opinion that Jim Bob and Michelle haven't actually been holding their oldest daughters hostage for child-rearing and housework purposes, but whatever you believe about that, she absolutely has not given up on having another baby.

[FloraDoraDolly]

She has admitted that Josie might be her last, but she is most definitely still trying to get pregnant. She stated that very clearly in the previews, and I think has said it several times in interviews. I know I'm part of the minority opinion that Jim Bob and Michelle haven't actually been holding their oldest daughters hostage for child-rearing and housework purposes, but whatever you believe about that, she absolutely has not given up on having another baby.

The Bible is full of stories where women have children late in life, or where women who thought they were barren ended up getting pregnant. Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, is a prime example of both. Add to that modern fertility treatments and Michelle probably does believe #20 is a real possiblity.

[Mama Mia]

She has admitted that Josie might be her last, but she is most definitely still trying to get pregnant. She stated that very clearly in the previews, and I think has said it several times in interviews. I know I'm part of the minority opinion that Jim Bob and Michelle haven't actually been holding their oldest daughters hostage for child-rearing and housework purposes, but whatever you believe about that, she absolutely has not given up on having another baby.

She seems to be very desperately holding on to that hope. Most women her age have met at least one or two women who had babies very late ( although if they aren't quiverfull it's generally an oops thought I didn't need birth control anymore baby ).

I don't think she would be so intent on one more if she had a healthy birth with Jubilee, and such a terrifying beginning with Josie. Hitting menopause can be hard emotionally for many women, the hormone swings often make everything more dramatic and there is often a great deal of anxiety. Add to that the loss of her last pregnancy and that her entire identity is based on having a zillion babies and the desire to have one last baby must be huge for her.

[Rachel333]

It seems like everyone in my age group (I'm closest to Jill's age, I think) in my old social circle (homeschoolers in Northwest Arkansas) is getting married now--I know one of their good friends is getting married this month--so I imagine they're feeling it's time now.

I'm actually sort of feeling that pressure myself and I don't even want to get married anytime soon! I just found out a friend is pregnant, and that's the first time someone my age has had an intentional pregnancy and I feel like I'm getting old now. :lol:

But back to the Duggars, I'm sure the parents too are seeing all this (the Bates have, what, four couples now?) and realizing that it's time for their kids to be courting as well. There's just been nothing on that front (well, publicly, at least) for a long time among the Duggars and I don't doubt that Jim Bob is thinking about plot-lines for the show as well.

[16strong]

If the Bates are the only reason that the Duggar girls are being allowed to court, well good on Kelly and Gil for getting the ball rolling and letting their girls "leave and cleave." I am interested to see if these high-profile courtships of fundie girls will encourage other historically conservative fundie families to let go of some of their daughters.

[Rescinded and Mended]

That Michelle has lost her mind. I'm with that group in the other thread that thinks Jim Bob should get her a couple of Reborn dolls, stat, before she makes off with one of her daughters' future kids.

[Trynn]

Dang, if I didn't like a guy who asked (and I've never liked guys) I would LOVE the excuse to let my dad be the one to say no (I'm passive aggressive; can't usually make myself say no.)

BUT... It would've deprived me of the growing experience.

[DGayle]

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/19-kids-and ... pgn=fbtlc1

From Michelle's blog it seems like the girls would give an a guy JB's phone number, then tell their dad that they aren't interested that a guy; then JB tells young man that "no".

Boob won't FORCE the girls to marry, but I expect he has a heavy hand in every "no" those girls dished out. Plus, when a "yes" is pretty much consent to marriage, that's really a lot to put on them.

[DGayle]

There aren't going to be anymore babies. Jim Bob needed a new hook to keep the show viable.

He is a GRIFTER. He changes the con when necessary to keep the money coming in. People will watch Duggar girl weddings.

This is what I think. He's a businessman whose product is his kids. Now that their popularity is waning, time to start changing the product, which very well may be meaning telling the girls "the lord laid it on his heart that they start courting."

[singsingsing]

This is what I think. He's a businessman whose product is his kids. Now that their popularity is waning, time to start changing the product, which very well may be meaning telling the girls "the lord laid it on his heart that they start courting."

I might give more weight to this idea if his daughters were in their late 20s or early 30s, but they're only in the early 20s so it's not like he's been holding them back for years.

[16strong]

Dang, if I didn't like a guy who asked (and I've never liked guys) I would LOVE the excuse to let my dad be the one to say no (I'm passive aggressive; can't usually make myself say no.)

BUT... It would've deprived me of the growing experience.

No is ALWAYS difficult and awkward, no matter who you are. I myself always use the excuse that I'm not looking to date at the moment. And if they demand an excuse why, I say I'm in a transitory period of life or have a lot on my plate with family/work/school. It's the best, gentlest excuse, imo.

[Alachantal]

This is what I think. He's a businessman whose product is his kids. Now that their popularity is waning, time to start changing the product, which very well may be meaning telling the girls "the lord laid it on his heart that they start courting."

Exactly. I wouldn't be too surprised if they really didn't have much of a choice in when they started courting or which girl would go first. There aren't going to be any babies to keep he show afloat unless it's Josh/Anna babies or unless one of the girls gets married. I really can't see Boob wanting to go back to actual work, he seems much too lazy and would rather sit on his ass all day and exploit his children than actually work to take care of this huge family. Besides, with no babies they girls are just more mouths to feed since they don't really need the built in child care as much as they did when they popped out babies every 10 - 12 months.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Dang, if I didn't like a guy who asked (and I've never liked guys) I would LOVE the excuse to let my dad be the one to say no (I'm passive aggressive; can't usually make myself say no.)

BUT... It would've deprived me of the growing experience.

Oh my god. I'm the worst at rejecting people. My last boyfriend and I never officially broke up. I just stopped talking to him. Actually same with the boyfriend before that.

I'm a terrible person, I know, but I can't deal with the whole they're devastated and crying that we can make it work crap. Or worse the "oh good I'm free! I'll have a date by tomorrow!" crap.

And when it comes to people asking me out, I almost always find myself giving them my number even when I don't want to. And then I end up being mean to them when they call or text. But I still don't just come out and say I don't like them. I don't even know why. It's not like I enjoy any part of the awkwardness I create.

I would love to have someone do the breaking up or rejecting for me.

Edited because my phone apparently decided they're is spelled their.