Jill Duggar and Derick Dillard Engaged! - Part 2

[Toothfairy]

I been waiting ALL day to respond to this one. The only reason JB and Michelle married so young is because her family was moving out of state and JB didn't want her to leave. He begged her dad to marry her. Sure they would have married eventually but that's why things were rushed. Finally saw episode, and I just don't know what to make of these people. I hope JB has let his adult children keep a stash of money from the shows over the years. Surely they all have there own account and it should be pretty BIG by now. How else would JD be able to start his own business and buy land with a house? If Smuggar was smart he'd go ahead and buy a house before the show ends..but doesn't look like that will happen with all the courtship stuff going on.

I'm sorry allowing your 17yo child to get married is just irresponsible. Especially if the family was moving out of town. Granted it was the 80s but still,it's two kids getting married with nothing. And Bob probably gives the kids money if they ask for it. Someone posted about the Duggar family bank.

[Toothfairy]

I'm not much of a Duggar follower, but reading this topic is making me wonder why they seem to be able to get their children (daughters in particular) paired up, and the Maxwells are sitting there with two daughters of marriageable age who don't seem to be doing much courting. That we know of anyway.

The t.v. show certainly helps the Duggars "market" their daughters. It also seems JB encouraged Jill's young man to pursue her, something Steve said he wouldn't do.

What are some other reasons the Duggars seem more successful at courtship than the Maxwells?

I hate to say it but the Duggars are better than the Maxwells. Steve made up his own cult because he's mentally ill and needs professional help. He makes up his own rules while the Duggars as much as it's horrible follows a set of rules. I think it's much harder to court a Maxwell than a Duggar. Imagine Steve being your father in law and living by his rules even after you're married. You have to live by Steve's rules even if you don't like them:( He is crazy,boring,and the devil. The only hope for the Maxwell kids especially poor Sarah, is to get up the courage to leave,Teri leaves and takes the kids with her, or Steve dies.

[Tangy Bee]

I'm sorry allowing your 17yo child to get married is just irresponsible. Especially if the family was moving out of town. Granted it was the 80s but still,it's two kids getting married with nothing. And Bob probably gives the kids money if they ask for it. Someone posted about the Duggar family bank.

I was the one talking about the bank and I HOPE they don't have to ask for the money they have earned over the years. I have their first book and that's where I got the info about Michelle's family moving. Think JB was working at a grocery store for a while, then bought a store where he got robbed, and at some point they got their real estate license while running a towing business. So they did have to bust their asses a bit. At least they had time to "themselves" for a few years before all the babies.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I'm sorry allowing your 17yo child to get married is just irresponsible. Especially if the family was moving out of town. Granted it was the 80s but still,it's two kids getting married with nothing. And Bob probably gives the kids money if they ask for it. Someone posted about the Duggar family bank.

The fact that he begged says that he didn't trust Michelle to stay faithful to him. If they were really meant to be, he would have found a way to make it work. Hell, he was 19, he could have moved himself.

I think there is absolutely no reason anyone too young to vote should be allowed to make life altering decisions. I have a hard enough time thinking that 18 year olds should be required to know what they want to do as a career.

Michelle's parents were totally irresponsible here.

[FJismyheadship]

I used the google machine and am surprised! My little guy is four but it seems like the videos have good reviews. I am a football fan (DA BEARS) but had no idea Kurt Warner was evangelical.

I went ahead and bought the other two used. There is not a lot of Christian stuff... One song or prayer per video. That's really it. They don't shove Jesus in your kids face. I love All Creatures Great And Small. More animals and only one song.

[jezziebezzie]

I'm sorry allowing your 17yo child to get married is just irresponsible. Especially if the family was moving out of town. Granted it was the 80s but still,it's two kids getting married with nothing. And Bob probably gives the kids money if they ask for it. Someone posted about the Duggar family bank.

Ding, ding, ding!!

Alex, I'll take BANK for $1000

Don't forget, marrying off his precious commodities while they're still a "thing" allows them to work their own "Smuggar-like" deal with TLC. More adult 'sons' = more negotiators for JB! The girls can't possibly negotiate their own deals, Daddy has to do that. But he can have a hand in their "independence" by contracting them out.

I'm telling you. Double barrel Brady wedding is coming down the pike for those poor girls, whether they want it or not. Good TV & doubling is the marriage equivalent of "Buy Used, Save the Difference" ... Which they occasionally still pretend to do.

[JellyHope]

It sounded like a joke.

It sounded (to me) like he realized that his daughter would soon be doing the nasty and quickly said "OMG wait 4-5 years or Ben go join the military." I'm like 99.9% sure he wasn't serious.

I actually think both couple are engaged. Jill is practically glowing and after seeing the episode last night, Ben doesn't seem that bad. He seems very nervous around Jessa and the cameras. Not surprising being that she's probably the first girl he's really had a relationship with (that wasn't family). Even one of the Duggar boys commented on how he's different when Jessa is around.

Not changing my very negative view of Ben. He's still the douche-ass who is obsessed with fetuses & uteruses & wore that fucking "roe v wade" shirt.

[Toothfairy]

The fact that he begged says that he didn't trust Michelle to stay faithful to him. If they were really meant to be, he would have found a way to make it work. Hell, he was 19, he could have moved himself.

I think there is absolutely no reason anyone too young to vote should be allowed to make life altering decisions. I have a hard enough time thinking that 18 year olds should be required to know what they want to do as a career.

Michelle's parents were totally irresponsible here.

Even when he was young Bob was an ass. Michelle was 17. What did she have to be faithful about? Dating? Giving pieces of her heart away? Sex? He sounded too controlling like he is now.

[singsingsing]

Some of you are giving Jim Bob Duggar way too much credit, I think. Yeah, the guy has some business sense, and he's had his fair share of luck with the reality show, but the version sometimes painted of him is crazy. Next he's going to start rubbing his hands together and cackling, as he orchestrates his diabolical schemes from his hidden lair beneath the TTH. I've watched the show and followed the family for years, and I have never seen in Jim Bob a cold, calculating sociopath who sacrifices his children for profit. I've seen Michelle come close to that at times, but not Jim Bob. If he was really like that you know he could've done a lot better than Ben Seewald the 18-year-old windshield repairman.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Even when he was young Bob was an ass. Michelle was 17. What did she have to be faithful about? Dating? Giving pieces of her heart away? Sex? He sounded too controlling like he is now.

Controlling isn't something you just "become". He had all the red flags the entire time they have been together, but no one noticed. Worse yet, if they did, they kept their mouth shut.

This is why it's SO important to make sure that people know the warning signs of abuse in ALL forms and admit that emotional/mental abuse is actually abuse. So many people end up in awful relationships and don't realize it or that there is a way out.

PSA: If you suspect someone is being abused, though, you need to approach it carefully or you can drive the abused to defend the abuser and away from you. It's best to call an abuse hotline or talk to someone with the experience to help you (a police officer, pastor, psychiatrist, etc).

[O Latin]

I'm sorry allowing your 17yo child to get married is just irresponsible. Especially if the family was moving out of town. Granted it was the 80s but still,it's two kids getting married with nothing. And Bob probably gives the kids money if they ask for it. Someone posted about the Duggar family bank.

I somewhat disagree. I think that in general it's irresponsible to allow your 17-year-old child to marry, I think this is one situation where it sort of made sense. If I recall correctly, they were already engaged (I think that happened around Christmas?) and Michelle's parents weren't opposed to her marrying Jim Bob in general so it wasn't like they were hoping some time apart would make Michelle change her mind. Michelle had already graduated from high school when they got married and was only two or three months away from turning 18 (her birthday is in September, isn't it?). I'm not saying all parents of 17-year-olds who think they're meant to be should allow them to marry, but in this particular situation, I don't see what would have been gained from forcing Michelle to move across the country so that she could move right back a few weeks later.

[Earthshine]

I somewhat disagree. I think that in general it's irresponsible to allow your 17-year-old child to marry, I think this is one situation where it sort of made sense. If I recall correctly, they were already engaged (I think that happened around Christmas?) and Michelle's parents weren't opposed to her marrying Jim Bob in general so it wasn't like they were hoping some time apart would make Michelle change her mind. Michelle had already graduated from high school when they got married and was only two or three months away from turning 18 (her birthday is in September, isn't it?). I'm not saying all parents of 17-year-olds who think they're meant to be should allow them to marry, but in this particular situation, I don't see what would have been gained from forcing Michelle to move across the country so that she could move right back a few weeks later.

Agreed. And maybe they were scared of risking possible resentment and having a strained relationship once she turned 18 and married Jim Bob. Michelle was the youngest child and she was born when her parents were a little older. Maybe when her parents were growing up, letting a 17 year old get married wasn't considered irresponsible.

[twinmama]

I somewhat disagree. I think that in general it's irresponsible to allow your 17-year-old child to marry, I think this is one situation where it sort of made sense. If I recall correctly, they were already engaged (I think that happened around Christmas?) and Michelle's parents weren't opposed to her marrying Jim Bob in general so it wasn't like they were hoping some time apart would make Michelle change her mind. Michelle had already graduated from high school when they got married and was only two or three months away from turning 18 (her birthday is in September, isn't it?). I'm not saying all parents of 17-year-olds who think they're meant to be should allow them to marry, but in this particular situation, I don't see what would have been gained from forcing Michelle to move across the country so that she could move right back a few weeks later.

I'm torn on this one. First, they've been married for 20+ years so clearly it worked for them. Second, being married even at a young age isn't what has kept them from educating themselves, their weirdo beliefs are. But on the other hand, I would neeeeeever condone my own 17 year old child getting married. It seems like an incredibly rare situation where it would turn out as "good" as it did for the Duggars (they may be insane, but they are self-supporting and seemingly happy).

I think it really comes down to the two people wanting to get married. If they are independent, intelligent people who have goals and a plan, a young marriage doesn't necessarily derail that.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I'm torn on this one. First, they've been married for 20+ years so clearly it worked for them. Second, being married even at a young age isn't what has kept them from educating themselves, their weirdo beliefs are. But on the other hand, I would neeeeeever condone my own 17 year old child getting married. It seems like an incredibly rare situation where it would turn out as "good" as it did for the Duggars (they may be insane, but they are self-supporting and seemingly happy).

I think it really comes down to the two people wanting to get married. If they are independent, intelligent people who have goals and a plan, a young marriage doesn't necessarily derail that.

They didn't adopt their beliefs until they "lost Caleb," which was after Josh was born. They were already in their twenties by that point. Most people of their generation (you know, before the college system broke) were in their last year or two of college by that age. And, JB was 2 years older, yet not pursuing an education. Their lack of an education wasn't based on Gothards teaching at that point.

[longskirts]

They didn't adopt their beliefs until they "lost Caleb," which was after Josh was born. They were already in their twenties by that point. Most people of their generation (you know, before the college system broke) were in their last year or two of college by that age. And, JB was 2 years older, yet not pursuing an education. Their lack of an education wasn't based on Gothards teaching at that point.

The college enrollment rate for 18-24 year olds in the mid-80s was less than 40% for four-year colleges and two-year colleges combined, so when Jim Bob and Michelle finished high school most people their age were not going to college.

[HereticHick]

I thought I read somewhere that Jim Bob briefly attended some Christian college in Arkansas. Not true?

[Coconut Flan]

I've never heard of Jim Bob attending college of any kind. He did attend a Christian school for at least part of K-12. Doesn't mean he didn't attend some college, I've just never heard or read about it.

[memmy]

to me it sort of seems that they are already engaged - or is it that she is a little bit older and able to easier show enthusiasm

[Coconut Flan]

Maybe it's because Jill is naturally bubbly and outgoing, but they definitely both seem smitten.

Jessa and Ben aren't as awkward as Zach and the Reith young lady, but they're closer to that than the recent Bates family courtings.

They did seem more natural at his home in the swing without Jim Bob around.

[Rebelwife]

Maybe it's because Jill is naturally bubbly and outgoing, but they definitely both seem smitten.

Jessa and Ben aren't as awkward as Zach and the Reith young lady, but they're closer to that than the recent Bates family courtings.

They did seem more natural at his home in the swing without Jim Bob around.

That may be the root of a lot of the awkwardness. Goodness knows I'd freeze up and cringe with embarrassment if Boob was my father and was hanging around being his usual self. I was cringing with sympathetic embarrassment just watching the video.

[DugFan]

Is... that... a... HAND... on... his... CHEST?!?!?!?! And his arm is all the way around to her opposite shoulder?!?! :o

That's a 3/4-hug, folks!

[HereticHick]

Exactly, DugFan-- bosom touching is definitely happening there!

[singsingsing]

Get it, Jill!!!

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

That may be the root of a lot of the awkwardness. Goodness knows I'd freeze up and cringe with embarrassment if Boob was my father and was hanging around being his usual self. I was cringing with sympathetic embarrassment just watching the video.

I had a serious case of second hand embarrassment too. I couldn't deal with it. I had to turn it off after 5 minutes.

[memmy]

in the second picture it seems to me like they could be holding hands as well... they are very close together and both their arms could potentially interlock further down in the picture (which of course has been cut off)

I do like them - they seem natural with each other and they just look like a "normal" couple... the fact that she even ran to him in that snippet at the airport and they probably side-hugged at that point as well