Jill Duggar and Derick Dillard Engaged! - Part 2

[jerkit]

The waiting 4-5 years thing is so different from all the doctrine the Duggars have ever spewed - and every other fundie family for that matter. They've all preached that you shouldn't court until you're ready to get married otherwise the temptation to have teh secks is too great. Could it possibly have been a joke?

[Kelsey]

I could see them keeping Jessa around for a few more years. Didn't JB say waiting 4-5 years before marriage during the closet courtship?

It sounded like a joke.

It sounded (to me) like he realized that his daughter would soon be doing the nasty and quickly said "OMG wait 4-5 years or Ben go join the military." I'm like 99.9% sure he wasn't serious.

I actually think both couple are engaged. Jill is practically glowing and after seeing the episode last night, Ben doesn't seem that bad. He seems very nervous around Jessa and the cameras. Not surprising being that she's probably the first girl he's really had a relationship with (that wasn't family). Even one of the Duggar boys commented on how he's different when Jessa is around.

[Justme]

Remember, Boob &Mullet were only 19 & 17 when married. Ben could very well be 19 before the wedding.

[singsingsing]

"4-5 years" was very obviously a joke if you watched the episode. Just like John-David's joke about staying a bachelor forever.

[Dollypeeps]

I find it very wrong that Jim chose the suitor for both Jessa and Jill. In fact for me its down right creepy.

Also was he seriously this guys prayer buddy???

[Kelsey]

I find it very wrong that Jim chose the suitor for both Jessa and Jill. In fact for me its down right creepy.

Also was he seriously this guys prayer buddy???

I don't think he chose Ben.

They said that Ben started attending Jessa's church and then asked if he could text Jessa. Boob asked Jessa and she said yes so Boob gave Ben her phone number and they started group-texting.

So really, it sounds like Ben saw Jessa on TV show. Thought she was hot so he drove 200 miles to attend their church. He met her and liked what he saw so he asked her Dad if he could try to snag Jessa. Jessa thought Ben was cute so when JB approached her she allowed him to give Ben her phone number. They texted, thought their values lined up and they could make a go of it and decided to enter a courtship.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I don't think he chose Ben.

They said that Ben started attending Jessa's church and then asked if he could text Jessa. Boob asked Jessa and she said yes so Boob gave Ben her phone number and they started group-texting.

So really, it sounds like Ben saw Jessa on TV show. Thought she was hot so he drove 200 miles to attend their church. He met her and liked what he saw so he asked her Dad if he could try to snag Jessa. Jessa thought Ben was cute so when JB approached her she allowed him to give Ben her phone number. They texted, thought their values lined up and they could make a go of it and decided to enter a courtship.

I thought they met at the homeschool convention and then he went to their church to get to know her better. Their church is invite only, if I remember correctly, so it's not like he could just pop in.

[singsingsing]

Nope, from what they've said he came to their church. Jessa thought he seemed like a nice guy. Then a few days later they met again at the homeschool conference.

[Onomatopoetikon]

This whole group texting this is so freaking weird. There's obviously the giant privacy issue and the fact that these are adults having their communication monitered by their parents, but there's also the obvious thing about... why would they even bother to group text? They have each others' numbers, just text privately and have a group text for the non-private stuff. It seems so weird to have super strict monitoring that is so easy to get around, because if you trust your kids to stick to the group chat instead of texting privately, why do you not trust them to talk privately without going further than the limits theyyou set for themselves?

I also suspect the older girls have much more freedom for online/texting stuff, simply because the boys are the ones everyone fear will be tempted. Didn't they say that only Michelle and one of the older girls had the password for the Internet protection thing? Nothing (except their own conscience, I guess) is stopping said older girl from going around the protection and doing non-approved things (and I'm not even talking about any 'dirty' stuff, just... normal stuff).

[HereticHick]

Can the 2 courting couples go on double dates and chaperone each other? I guess not.

Is it acceptable for just one other Duggar sibling to go as chaperone on these dates? I like to hope that some of these sibling chaperones are willing to bend the rules & keep their mouths shut about it. Can't you see Josiah or Jinger as chaperone saying, "hey, I'm going to the bathroom, feel free to snuggle while I'm gone!"

[actuallyjessica]

This whole group texting this is so freaking weird. There's obviously the giant privacy issue and the fact that these are adults having their communication monitered by their parents, but there's also the obvious thing about... why would they even bother to group text? They have each others' numbers, just text privately and have a group text for the non-private stuff. It seems so weird to have super strict monitoring that is so easy to get around, because if you trust your kids to stick to the group chat instead of texting privately, why do you not trust them to talk privately without going further than the limits theyyou set for themselves?

I also suspect the older girls have much more freedom for online/texting stuff, simply because the boys are the ones everyone fear will be tempted. Didn't they say that only Michelle and one of the older girls had the password for the Internet protection thing? Nothing (except their own conscience, I guess) is stopping said older girl from going around the protection and doing non-approved things (and I'm not even talking about any 'dirty' stuff, just... normal stuff).

y'know, it just occured to me that perhaps all this 'oh yeah, we all group text' crap is just for show. without it, how else would this get publicity? the only reason it does, is because it's different from current social norms. just a thought.

[Kelsey]

Can the 2 courting couples go on double dates and chaperone each other?

I wonder this too. It would be much less awkward to see double dates with Jill/Derick and Jessa/Ben then one with the parents.

Heck, I'd take the two courting couples and Josh/Anna over the couples and Boob/Jichelle.

I also think it'd be interesting to see the married Bates, Duggars and courting Bates/Duggars go on a date together.

[peanut gallery]

It sounded like a joke.

It sounded (to me) like he realized that his daughter would soon be doing the nasty and quickly said "OMG wait 4-5 years or Ben go join the military." I'm like 99.9% sure he wasn't serious.

I actually think both couple are engaged. Jill is practically glowing and after seeing the episode last night, Ben doesn't seem that bad. He seems very nervous around Jessa and the cameras. Not surprising being that she's probably the first girl he's really had a relationship with (that wasn't family). Even one of the Duggar boys commented on how he's different when Jessa is around.

Yes I think it's a joke. In the Fundie world, waiting 4-5 years to get married is outrageous.

It seems odd that boob is auctioning off his daughters so fast though. Is he trying to keep up with the Batses?

[singsingsing]

LOL Jim Bob is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't, apparently. Before Jessa started courting it was all, "Jim Bob is never going to let his daughters go, he's keeping them captive at home because he wants them to wait on him, he'll never let them marry!" Now that two of them are courting it's changed to, "OMG why is he selling off his daughters so fast?!"

[louisa05]

LOL Jim Bob is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't, apparently. Before Jessa started courting it was all, "Jim Bob is never going to let his daughters go, he's keeping them captive at home because he wants them to wait on him, he'll never let them marry!" Now that two of them are courting it's changed to, "OMG why is he selling off his daughters so fast?!"

I think they may have finally accepted that Michelle is not having any more babies and weddings and the grandbabies that follow will keep interest up for their little media empire.

[keen23]

Three! Well that I know of. Look up Baby Good Sports. Its so cute! My daughter loves it. I don't normally let the tv babysit, but when I do, she's watching All Creatures Great And Small.

He's pretty conservative. An evangelical Christian. He's opposed to embryonic stem cell research.

[singsingsing]

I'll admit I have a much more boring interpretation of the situation: his eldest daughter is 24, which isn't even considered old to be single in fundieland. His next three daughters are 22, 21, and 20. Considering courtship usually leads to marriage in their world, they are pretty much right at the age when it would make sense for them all to start courting.

[Coconut Flan]

I agree that it's really just now time to consider the courting and engagement. I'd have been more concerned had he begun when Jana was 17 or 18. I think perhaps there was a hint of a push that the Bates family was suddenly bursting with courtships, engagements, and weddings. I don't think it was so much a competition as a wake up call of OMG our kids are the same age and it's time!

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

It could also be that JB and Michelle have been trying to marry the girls off for years but have been unsuccessful at finding a suitor for them or having them even express interest in the idea until now. JB hinted at that himself.

That may also explain JD's comment. Everyone took it as an asshole-ish thing to say, but maybe he's acting on what his sisters want. Maybe JB and Michelle don't care about the girls' feelings on the subject so the brothers have stepped in to make sure that the girls aren't forced into a marriage before they're ready.

[Evilbad]

LOL Jim Bob is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't, apparently. Before Jessa started courting it was all, "Jim Bob is never going to let his daughters go, he's keeping them captive at home because he wants them to wait on him, he'll never let them marry!" Now that two of them are courting it's changed to, "OMG why is he selling off his daughters so fast?!"

Yep lol. Cue the "he must not value his daughters much if he's just marrying them off" in 5..4..3..

[ExLuther]

He's pretty conservative. An evangelical Christian. He's opposed to embryonic stem cell research.

I used the google machine and am surprised! My little guy is four but it seems like the videos have good reviews. I am a football fan (DA BEARS) but had no idea Kurt Warner was evangelical.

[TheJewAmongUs]

Can the 2 courting couples go on double dates and chaperone each other? I guess not.

Is it acceptable for just one other Duggar sibling to go as chaperone on these dates? I like to hope that some of these sibling chaperones are willing to bend the rules & keep their mouths shut about it. Can't you see Josiah or Jinger as chaperone saying, "hey, I'm going to the bathroom, feel free to snuggle while I'm gone!"

I'm sure they need a chaperone from each family because the parents don't trust how far either side might let something go. It's like a business or legal transaction where they each have the right to monitor or observe anything pertaining to the eventual merger. The chaperones also have to chaperone each other.

[Tangy Bee]

Remember, Boob &Mullet were only 19 & 17 when married. Ben could very well be 19 before the wedding.

I been waiting ALL day to respond to this one. The only reason JB and Michelle married so young is because her family was moving out of state and JB didn't want her to leave. He begged her dad to marry her. Sure they would have married eventually but that's why things were rushed. Finally saw episode, and I just don't know what to make of these people. I hope JB has let his adult children keep a stash of money from the shows over the years. Surely they all have there own account and it should be pretty BIG by now. How else would JD be able to start his own business and buy land with a house? If Smuggar was smart he'd go ahead and buy a house before the show ends..but doesn't look like that will happen with all the courtship stuff going on.

[kpmom]

I'm not much of a Duggar follower, but reading this topic is making me wonder why they seem to be able to get their children (daughters in particular) paired up, and the Maxwells are sitting there with two daughters of marriageable age who don't seem to be doing much courting. That we know of anyway.

The t.v. show certainly helps the Duggars "market" their daughters. It also seems JB encouraged Jill's young man to pursue her, something Steve said he wouldn't do.

What are some other reasons the Duggars seem more successful at courtship than the Maxwells?

[anniebgood]

I'm not much of a Duggar follower, but reading this topic is making me wonder why they seem to be able to get their children (daughters in particular) paired up, and the Maxwells are sitting there with two daughters of marriageable age who don't seem to be doing much courting. That we know of anyway.

The t.v. show certainly helps the Duggars "market" their daughters. It also seems JB encouraged Jill's young man to pursue her, something Steve said he wouldn't do.

What are some other reasons the Duggars seem more successful at courtship than the Maxwells?

Because even as conservative as the Duggars are, they are way more liberal than Stehovah and his clan. They go out and speak with regular people, one of the girls is an EMS and does rescue, can you imagine Sarah M doing that? Leave and cleave to the Duggars means a whole different ball of wax than it does to the Maxwells and their family compound.