Jump to content
IGNORED

SSM: Advice for rebellious wives whose husbands hate them


snuggles911

Recommended Posts

Sunshine Mary has posted advice for rebellious wives whose husbands hate them: sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/the-four-states-of-the-marital-hierarchy-part-1-the-disrupted-marital-hierarchy-of-hateindifference-and-rebeldisrespect/

Some women would want a divorce if they knew that their husbands hated them, but SSM doesn't believe divorce is scriptural unless a wife has cheated on her husband and he chooses to divorce her. She offers these gems of advice instead:

You have a duty to submit to and respect your husband, whether it seems like he deserves that submission and respect or not. Since your husbands hates and/or is indifferent to you, you are perhaps feeling justified in your rebellion and disrespect. However, God says your husband deserves your submission and respect regardless, simply by virtue of being your husband. You are not justified in continuing to rebel against him.

She has some interesting things to say about domestic violence situations:

If your husband is violent in response to your disrespect or disobedience, you are not responsible for his actions but you are responsible for yours. You have a duty to stop with the disrespect and disobedience.

You also have a duty, however, to take care of your physical being. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and as such you do not need to stay in a physically dangerous situation. You have no biblical right to divorce a violent husband, but you may need to remove yourself temporarily to a place of safety if there is serious, significant, repeated physical violence being directed at you. If you are able to return to your father’s house, that may be a reasonable option.
(bolding mine)

Finally, it goes without saying that if your way of communicating rebellion has been to lash out physically at him, you must stop this at once; it does not matter if he is bigger and stronger than you are. You could still physically injure him, and it is very disrespectful to hit or throw things at your husband.

Just because your husband hates you, it's no excuse to ignore your wifely duties:

No matter how much he hates you, you are still called to be his helper. If you are not helping him, you are in rebellion against him. So, how does he really need you to help him? Not just the family, but him in particular?

Respect your husband by being sexually available to him. You might not feel like making yourself vulnerable and intimate with someone who clearly hates you. However, if you are withholding yourself from him, this is both rebellious and adding fuel to the fire of his hatred. Providing your husband with sexual access isn’t just a good idea; it is a duty which God commands you to obey.

And ladies, you should always be humble doormats, not matter what:

One thing that a husband who hates or is indifferent to his wife may do is blame all his problems, personal shortcomings, or even his own sin on her. If your husband does this, you should not respond to this misplaced blame with anger, self-defense, or disrespect. Instead, try asking him, with a gentle and respectful tone, “How can I help? Tell me what you need me to do and I will do it.†This demonstrates a willingness to respect him by doing him a good turn despite his not taking responsibility for his own shortcomings.

She's also included plenty of scriptures for these hated rebellious wives to mediate on, but this post is already too long so you can find them on her blog if you're interested.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, SSM has to get keep her MRA audience happy and satiated, right? Good to know that even violent husbands can turn into good guys if you simply became his mindless slave. That always cures violent and abusive people, right?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, SSM has to get keep her MRA audience happy and satiated, right? Good to know that even violent husbands can turn into good guys if you simply became his mindless slave. That always cures violent and abusive people, right?

Of course, right! (Yenta the Matchmaker)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

you may need to remove yourself temporarily to a place of safety if there is serious, significant, repeated physical violence being directed at you.

I guess you have to stay if the violence isn't serious, repeated and significant.

And even if it IS serious, repeated and significant, SSM doesn't say you should run for your life. She simply says you "may" have to leave, "temporarily" (till the husband magically changes into a nice guy).

SSM clearly doesn't want you making a fuss over some "minor" violence. Bothering everyone just cause you got a slap!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She's troll baiting.

It's horrible and disgusting even if she is troll baiting.

That this kind of bullshit is considered "Biblical" is horrific.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She is writing this stuff because she gets her freak on this way, not because she actually believes it....

Absolutely agree!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As stated above, SSM's main audience is MRAs, not ~christian mommies~. Their fantasies tend to coincide with extreme evangelical bullshit (women cannot leave/are called to serve men no matter what) so it's really a beautiful coupling of a terrifyingly average woman who is afraid of divorce and some out of touch, bitter dudes who want to hear what their fantasy wife will do for them even when they feel like beating her up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Apologies for asking but are MRAs " Mens Rights Activists"? It was the only acronym I could find that makes sense in the context of the other posts.

I hope no woman believes her dangerous words. She should be called " Scary Mary", IMO.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, MRAs are men's rights activists. I think both she and her husband use her blog to work through their kink. No way some super obedient evangelical punching bag would be allowed to maintain a blog that attracted that many cave dwellers.

I think Lori "Discernment" Alexander likes to let her prissy hair down over there and then play Titus2 role model on her own blog.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What happens if your husband threatens to kill you? Stabs or gives you wounds? Still no grounds for divorce and/ or to leave? What about the children? Is it okay to see daddy beat the shit out of mommy? SSM has some serious problems. I hope people don't take her advice

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's weird that being a husband somehow magically absolves you of your crimes. I mean, there are serial killers and violent men out there doing horrible things. These MRA (and SSM) would probably be the first ones crying for their blood (unlike, you know, the pansy liberals). However, if these criminals are married, than they are worthy of having another human being under their thumb. Somehow, matrimony can turn hardened, violent men into upstanding, Christian husbands if they have a submissive wife at their mercy. What gives?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What happens if your husband threatens to kill you? Stabs or gives you wounds? Still no grounds for divorce and/ or to leave? ...

Shitstain is of the mindset that believes that, since the only mention of divorce in The Bible is that of husband divorcing his wife, God allows divorce for men ONLY, NEVER for women under ANY circumstance.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, MRAs are men's rights activists. I think both she and her husband use her blog to work through their kink. No way some super obedient evangelical punching bag would be allowed to maintain a blog that attracted that many cave dwellers.

I think Lori "Discernment" Alexander likes to let her prissy hair down over there and then play Titus2 role model on her own blog.

Thank you, AretaJo.

IF some ignorant people ( like Scary Mary) want to see what a truly, not a mock made up in her fantasy world, previously violent man with a penchant for guns can do, she needs to take a look at today's headline grisly photos in the UK Daily Mail. I had not seen the actual crime scene photos from Reeva Steenkamp's murder until today. Some of the most graphic crime scene photos I've ever seen, and unexpected on the main page.

She must have been so very afraid when she locked herself in the bathroom. She was so young, just like his girlfriend before her was.

Every abused woman and victim of violence is mocked when partner/ spousal violent outbursts are not taken seriously before the rages escalate to murder. It doesn't matter how " famous" or " special" the world, a church, or a blogger thinks the man is. Predators come in all forms.

Yesterday, I was given a tour of our local new women's and children's shelter. I stood there, so happy with the money our community has raised to see this shelter grow and improve and I kept thinking, every city needs multiples of this. Every woman needs to know there is a place nearby that will protect and shelter her. It might not have the crystal chandeliers and silk sheets some women are used to having, but there are many great safe places for every woman and her child or children, and more are needed. There needs to be one in every town, and multiple shelters in cities. I don't think the problem of violence within relationships is going to get better-- too many external pressures, too much internal strife, and at least one generation which learned that video games and violent movies help relieve their stress and anger, not being taught or not learning internal coping skills which are necessary in life.

SSM is totally full of BS and her words are harmful. I hope her female following is very small and casual, not a group of fanatical believers in her words. It is also wrong to give men the green light to abuse women.

What if one of the unnamed violent she writes about comes after HER?? A woman who advocates for loving a man despite his violence may be putting her own self out there as a target, too.

It's one thing to be fundie and blog about cooking or raising a house full of children, and quite another to try to shame women into staying in a situation which is violent for more than the time it takes her to grab the car keys, the kids, jump in the car and get to a place of safety.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How can these possibly be the only states of a marriage? I guess when you're SSM, everything has to be extreme to feed her MRA fans. Nothing can be multi-faceted or on a spectrum. It's either hate or love, submission or pinyouupagainstawallrebellion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

SSM's life must be extremely miserable for her to spend time spouting this shit. I'm glad I'm not her. I actually have a good life and am happy. Her husband must have really done a number on her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Advice" like this is alarming to me. It's hard enough to convince some women who want to leave to leave. Then we've got people telling them to stay :angry-banghead:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

SSM's life must be extremely miserable for her to spend time spouting this shit. I'm glad I'm not her. I actually have a good life and am happy. Her husband must have really done a number on her.

Nah, she gets off on this stuff. It's a sexual obsession. Holy Hand Job (the husband) probably spanks her while telling her how much he hates her and that she has no right to resist him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wonder what Ken Alexander thinks of this type of advice. Is this much different than what he and Lori teach? It seems to me it is a more blunt version, but fairly similar.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.