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anjulibai

Why are you ice-skating pregnant Abigail?

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anjulibai

Apparently, Abigail and the family went ice-skating.

Is it me, or is that not really something that a woman who is going through a high-risk pregnancy because she's already had a miscarriage scare should be doing?

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littlemommy

I can't judge, I went sledding pregnant. ;) I figured it was as safe as driving on the freeway.

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acheronbeach

Yeah, I can't judge either. If she's a decent skater, what's the difference between that and walking on an icy driveway, or running on uneven terrain... ?

Where I live, you can't avoid going on slippery surfaces in winter, whether you're pregnant or no.

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singsingsing

I don't know... my mother slipped on ice and fell on her stomach while she was pregnant with me, and look how I turned out.

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gilora

How can they go ice skating at an indoor rink when they're so POOR?

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lipstickgoalie

Disclaimer: this is really petty. The picture of all the girls on the bench wasn't the penalty box.

I teach skating and I would not skate after starting the second trimester. It isn't my skill I am worried about, it is the other people around me. Little kids like to grab on. When you aren't expecting it it can knock you off your feet. I don't think it is gospel, just personal choice.

Are they a skirts only family?

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Boogalou
How can they go ice skating at an indoor rink when they're so POOR?

Sometimes rinks put on free public skate days.

Either that or she affords it like she affords everything else while being "poor".

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singsingsing

She affords it the same way she affords cello lessons for herself, a new laptop and horse riding lessons for her daughter, action figures for her son, and redecorating her house every few months.

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Ellimenopy

It really annoys me when people talk about what pregnant women should or should not be doing. Women aren't particularly delicate, and they're perfectly capable of physical activity even when pregnant. She should be in communication with her doctor about what she's doing, but it's really rude to ask if she's done that unless you're like, really, really close to her.

Sorry, it just really bothers me ever since that article about a heavily pregnant woman running a marathon came up a few years ago. Even though it clearly stated that she was an experienced runner and was in consultation with her doctor, people were still calling her a horrible mother.

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Cran

Sometimes we have strange priorities, don't we? Abortion is ok, but dare you do something when pregnant that might endanger the unborn and you can be criticized as much as anybody likes.

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Black Aliss
nothing compared to this

DSC00273_zps38d29b6e.jpg

If she were free soloing (climbing without a rope) I'd fear for her life because her center of gravity is going to be off. But otherwise?

My midwife told me I could continue skiing for as long as I could buckle my own boots.

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BravaAmica

There's a speed skater in my league who skated in Nationals last year at 8 1/2mos pregnant. She won a silver medal for one of the events in her division.

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2xx1xy1JD

It doesn't look like she's really far along or like she'd be really off-balance. The idea of falls causing miscarriages is a bit of a myth - miscarriages are generally related to chromosomal issues in the embryo or medical factors like hormone levels or blood clots. If simply falling on ice caused pregnant women to miscarry, there would be no abortion debate since anyone with an unwanted preg could just fall down.

Rock climbing with a good harness isn't particularly risky either.

*******************************************************************************************************

I did take a peek on some of her other entries and found this:

abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2014/03/living-like-happy-graduate-student-with.html

Once upon a time, that was our lifestyle. Girl 1 was born was my husband was doing his residency, and the 3 of us lived in an 800 sf, 1 bed/1bath apartment for 3 years.

I didn't consider that to be living in poverty. It was just living with some temporary financial constraints, which we knew would end after residency. Unlike many of my clients, we always had a safe (if small) place to live, food on the table, everything that we really needed for our daughter, all medical needs covered, and a good support system. Sure, I gained some experience living on less and in budgeting, but I won't pretend that I was poor. Why does she make a fetish out of poverty? Poor isn't living like a medical resident or having law school loans. Poor means that you never get to med school or law school in the first place, and don't see a realistic path out of poverty.

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GeoBQn

Sometimes rinks put on free public skate days.

Either that or she affords it like she affords everything else while being "poor".

She's got the six-year-old in ice skating lessons.

abigails-alcove.blogspot.com/2014/02/we-will-fall-down-lot.html

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Georgiana

I'm all for everyone doing whatever they want during pregnancies. It's YOUR pregnancy! I'm a distance runner and I've run with pregnant ladies in my group. There are plenty of ways to safely continue your physical activities well into pregnancy.

However, don't expect me to have a huge pity party for you if you take unnecessary risks with an already high-risk pregnancy, and then something happens. Or you ignore medical advice. Or anything like that. You choose to do something, you assume the associated risk. That's not a being pregnant thing, that's a being an adult thing. And if you assume a lot of risk...well, you know your chances of something bad happening are pretty high. If you choose to do it anyway, that's on you.

Basically, in my book, you can do what you want, but you also have to accept the consequences of your actions. Someone I know got pregnant against medical advice and then wanted everyone to feel bad for her when she had a very complicated, very high risk pregnancy. Nope. This didn't "just happen", lady, this happened because of the choices you made and knew you were making.

So cool for Abigail that she had fun, but if she fell and got put on bed rest, I'd be like "Well...that's what happens".

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lovemygsp

I'm 38w pregnant. I use to figure skate when I was younger and see no problem with it early on if you feel up for it and aren't on bed rest. Baby is so small early on that they are protected by your pelvic bone anyways. You hit a certain point where your body won't physically allow you to do too much. Mine hit around 34w. Nature knows what it's doing usually and staying active until you can't is actually good for baby and you.

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Mama Mia
It doesn't look like she's really far along or like she'd be really off-balance. The idea of falls causing miscarriages is a bit of a myth - miscarriages are generally related to chromosomal issues in the embryo or medical factors like hormone levels or blood clots. If simply falling on ice caused pregnant women to miscarry, there would be no abortion debate since anyone with an unwanted preg could just fall down.

Rock climbing with a good harness isn't particularly risky either.

*******************************************************************************************************

I did take a peek on some of her other entries and found this:

abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2014/03/living-like-happy-graduate-student-with.html

Once upon a time, that was our lifestyle. Girl 1 was born was my husband was doing his residency, and the 3 of us lived in an 800 sf, 1 bed/1bath apartment for 3 years.

I didn't consider that to be living in poverty. It was just living with some temporary financial constraints, which we knew would end after residency. Unlike many of my clients, we always had a safe (if small) place to live, food on the table, everything that we really needed for our daughter, all medical needs covered, and a good support system. Sure, I gained some experience living on less and in budgeting, but I won't pretend that I was poor. Why does she make a fetish out of poverty? Poor isn't living like a medical resident or having law school loans. Poor means that you never get to med school or law school in the first place, and don't see a realistic path out of poverty.

I was told by my o.b. that while early miscarriages are generally due to the reasons you stated, second trimester miscarriages are often due to things like the placenta not attaching well, and detaching due to physical trauma, like a fall. Obviously there are many other things that can cause a second trimester miscarriage, but falls are definitely a reason.

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flojo
It doesn't look like she's really far along or like she'd be really off-balance. The idea of falls causing miscarriages is a bit of a myth - miscarriages are generally related to chromosomal issues in the embryo or medical factors like hormone levels or blood clots. If simply falling on ice caused pregnant women to miscarry, there would be no abortion debate since anyone with an unwanted preg could just fall down.

Rock climbing with a good harness isn't particularly risky either.

*******************************************************************************************************

I did take a peek on some of her other entries and found this:

abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2014/03/living-like-happy-graduate-student-with.html

Once upon a time, that was our lifestyle. Girl 1 was born was my husband was doing his residency, and the 3 of us lived in an 800 sf, 1 bed/1bath apartment for 3 years.

I didn't consider that to be living in poverty. It was just living with some temporary financial constraints, which we knew would end after residency. Unlike many of my clients, we always had a safe (if small) place to live, food on the table, everything that we really needed for our daughter, all medical needs covered, and a good support system. Sure, I gained some experience living on less and in budgeting, but I won't pretend that I was poor. Why does she make a fetish out of poverty? Poor isn't living like a medical resident or having law school loans. Poor means that you never get to med school or law school in the first place, and don't see a realistic path out of poverty.

In your first point - I'm the textbook paranoid pregnant woman. Concieved unplanned after being told I'd need fertility treatments to have kids, and so everything I do (15 weeks at the moment) I think is going to hurt baby. I keep reminding myself that if it were really that easy to accidentally end a pregnancy, there wouldn't be the need there is for access to abortion facilities.

I read that link. She said her husband's starting salary was 62k, and that they are poor on it and so hard done by because of 6 kids and a SAHM. I'm sorry, but no. Husband and I earn significantly less than that (less than half), really struggle (to the point we have had to move in with our in-laws until we get back on our feet after immigration. We pay them board money, but it is under market value) and still consider ourselves very fortunate - we can pay all of our bills and have some money left over, we have good health insurance, and, because of our family support, can save enough each month to meet the copayment for the birth and buy what baby needs (including a lot of used clothes and goods, and using a donated crib and dresser and only buying what we really need). My husband's car was paid of in better financial times, as were our computer and phones, meaning our student loans are our only debts.

We also have large tax returns coming through from Japan that will help and will also hopefully pay for us to be able to fly home to New Zealand (My father is the only family member who will be able to visit baby and, even though expensive, my grandparents wont be around forever and this is the first grandchild and first great grandchild).

Ultimately though, once baby comes, we will still be on about 125% of the poverty line, and that really scares me - not so much for us, but makes me realise how hard it is for some people in this country. If we struggle and really only make it because we were able to build ourselves up in better times, and live with family, how incredibly hard must it be for a single parent who is truly poor - who is below the poverty line, doesn't have good access to healthcare, can't live with well-off family and never had the financially better times to build the basics of a life? Even with a bunch of kids, I cannot see how she can call her family poor on that amount (which is probably a lot more now, considering the years he has been working). Gah. It disgusts me.

*I'm also aware that sometimes life happens to people at all ends of the income scale, so it isn't always easy to judge on a number alone, but Abigail really doesn't strike me as poor.

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Boogalou

She's got the six-year-old in ice skating lessons.

abigails-alcove.blogspot.com/2014/02/we-will-fall-down-lot.html

Well then. I see she also bought her 11 year old a $280 laptop. Ah, the trials of poverty.

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donks

I continued to ride my horses until I was quite far along... I no longer jumped, but still rode 5x a week.

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amydamy

In your first point - I'm the textbook paranoid pregnant woman. Concieved unplanned after being told I'd need fertility treatments to have kids, and so everything I do (15 weeks at the moment) I think is going to hurt baby. I keep reminding myself that if it were really that easy to accidentally end a pregnancy, there wouldn't be the need there is for access to abortion facilities.

I read that link. She said her husband's starting salary was 62k, and that they are poor on it and so hard done by because of 6 kids and a SAHM. I'm sorry, but no. Husband and I earn significantly less than that (less than half), really struggle (to the point we have had to move in with our in-laws until we get back on our feet after immigration. We pay them board money, but it is under market value) and still consider ourselves very fortunate - we can pay all of our bills and have some money left over, we have good health insurance, and, because of our family support, can save enough each month to meet the copayment for the birth and buy what baby needs (including a lot of used clothes and goods, and using a donated crib and dresser and only buying what we really need). My husband's car was paid of in better financial times, as were our computer and phones, meaning our student loans are our only debts.

We also have large tax returns coming through from Japan that will help and will also hopefully pay for us to be able to fly home to New Zealand (My father is the only family member who will be able to visit baby and, even though expensive, my grandparents wont be around forever and this is the first grandchild and first great grandchild).

Ultimately though, once baby comes, we will still be on about 125% of the poverty line, and that really scares me - not so much for us, but makes me realise how hard it is for some people in this country. If we struggle and really only make it because we were able to build ourselves up in better times, and live with family, how incredibly hard must it be for a single parent who is truly poor - who is below the poverty line, doesn't have good access to healthcare, can't live with well-off family and never had the financially better times to build the basics of a life? Even with a bunch of kids, I cannot see how she can call her family poor on that amount (which is probably a lot more now, considering the years he has been working). Gah. It disgusts me.

*I'm also aware that sometimes life happens to people at all ends of the income scale, so it isn't always easy to judge on a number alone, but Abigail really doesn't strike me as poor.

The DC metro has a high COL. You can live on 62K here especially since they live so far out from the city but I'm sure she is comparing their income to the other families around here. If she lives were I think she does she is right next to Louduon county VA which has the highest median income in the country. They are surrounded pretty much by the VA and MD counties on this list.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_hi ... ted_States

Not that they are poor by any means.

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Trynn

Only way they could be poor on that salary is if they live in an area where cost of living is sky high. Even then, I'd kill if I could make even half that much, and I'm a childless single.

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Stephanie66
Only way they could be poor on that salary is if they live in an area where cost of living is sky high. Even then, I'd kill if I could make even half that much, and I'm a childless single.

If he is around $80K, they are around 200% of poverty level for a family of 7. That is a federal guideline number though, and like others have said, varies hugely by area. In Minneapolis, it would be rough to try to live on that, in DC it would be impossible. In rural WV or rural IN? MUCH easier. My cousin has three kids on one income and she just bought a house. (rural midwest) Not paying day care probably makes a huge difference with three kids, though.

So no, she is not living in poverty. She is living in 200% of poverty, technically. She has no clue.

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Mama Mia
Only way they could be poor on that salary is if they live in an area where cost of living is sky high. Even then, I'd kill if I could make even half that much, and I'm a childless single.

Right, but as a childless single you only have yourself to provide food, clothing and shelter for.

In a high cost of living area, with a large family, $ 60 k ish is actually a bad amount of money to make. It's definitely not poor, but it's not middle class enough to live like you're middle class, or low-income enough to qualify for things like the earned income credit. It's high enough so you'll be paying money out in taxes and won't qualify for many programs that would help even things out ( although they probably wouldn't take assistance anyway ) . I'll give you the example I gave my kids when they were teens and they couldn't understand why we never had extra money...and we were in roughly the same economic situation with a similar family size. I'm being very conservative on these costs, they would mostly be higher.

So if you take that $ 5,000 a month, take out a minimum of $600 off the top for social security, unemployment and disability taxes. I'll leave out federal and state taxes, as they might have enough deductions to not owe any, maybe. Take out another $400 for the employees share of health insurance.

Take the $4,000 that's left as take home pay.

A minimum of $ 2,000 for rent on a very, very modest 3 bedroom apartment (--if they are lucky enough to find someone who will rent a 3 bedroom to that large a family -- add another $500 if they have to rent a 4 bedroom.)

Of the $2,000 that's left take out $300 for electricity, water and garbage

Of the $1,700 that's left take out $400 for gas, because the drive to work is a bit of a commute

Out of the $1,300 that's left, say another $50 for phone and Internet and $50 for car insurance

For a family of 8 that leaves a total of $15o a month per person for food, toilet paper, soap, laundry detergent, field trips, diapers, clothes, medicine, medical co-pays, car repairs and everything else.

Food stamps ( which they wouldn't qualify for ) will provide up to 1, 130 just for food for a family of 8, and that is with the assumption that the family is also spending a third of their income on food.

So yes it's doable, and no they aren't poor and she gets help from her family. But in a high cost area with a large family you will definitely still be struggling if any unexpected emergencies arise

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