Marryin' Age

[salex]

truelovedoesntwait.com/the-path-to-marriage/what-is-young-marriage/

This is the site that has had a few posts about their view on courting.

The blog says

When does a child become a youth for the purposes of discussing marriage?’ The passages that deal with this have to do with physical maturity and capability:

1) The ‘youth’ has breasts. A woman who is to be married is one who has breasts; breasts which signal her readiness for marriage, and breasts who promise enjoyment for her husband. (I believe that ‘breasts’ here stand as a symbol for all forms of full secondary sexual characteristics.)

2) The ‘youth’ is ready to bear children. Unlike modern society Scripture sees the woman as a bearer, nurser, and raiser of children. The ‘young woman’ is the woman whose body is physically ready for these things, physically mature enough to handle them without damage.

3) She is ready for sexual intercourse sexually and emotionally. Her desire is for her husband, and she is ready to rejoice in him physically.

All three of the above points represent, not a certain exact age, but a level of physical and sexual maturity. Not ‘maturity’ as in ‘been there, done that’, nor even a ‘maturity’ as in ‘have been at this level for a long time’, but a point of arrival.

There can be thus no hard and fast rule that governs all women, but there certainly can be a concept that governs each individual woman. The woman who has arrived physically and sexually at a point where she is ‘ready’ for a husband, is ready for a husband, else we make God out to be a liar.

and goes on with

Calvin and Gill, quoting the Jewish authorities in reference to the term Paul uses in I Cor 7:36, place the lower limit of this at twelve years old for girls. Again, not that every, or even very many, girls reach this milestone at that age (at least in our age. There is some evidence that physical maturity changes from age to age.)

Written by: Vaughn Ohlman

Approved by: Jeff Woodward – Caveat: I would expect the typical range to be between 16 and 19 to be considered marriage in “youthâ€, and I would expect from the early twenties and beyond not to be “youthâ€. But, I think it is best to guard the innocence of one’s children for as long as possible so that the need for marriage would tend to come later rather than earlier. Also, I would generally discourage inter-generational marriages (i.e., someone young enough to be a child or old enough to be a parent), especially in this present age (unless circumstances absolutely required it).

So what circumstances absolutely require this?????

The theonomists are speaking here.

[Trynn]

I developed breasts at the age of NINE.

Do these people seriously think that meant I was ready for marriage?

I GOt my period at 11. Do they think that the technical ability to carry a child is something that means I'm ready for marriage?

I've also never come to a point in my life where I desire sex... I'm 25... How much longer should I wait? (Sarcastic)

I have no desire for marriage whatsoever, and 9 or 11 was DEFINITELY not a good time!

[salex]

I developed breasts at the age of NINE.

Do these people seriously think that meant I was ready for marriage?

I GOt my period at 11. Do they think that the technical ability to carry a child is something that means I'm ready for marriage?

I've also never come to a point in my life where I desire sex... I'm 25... How much longer should I wait? (Sarcastic)

I have no desire for marriage whatsoever, and 9 or 11 was DEFINITELY not a good time!

Well, I'm sure they would say it would be your dad's decision any way... :(

[16strong]

Well, if Maranatha Chapman is anything to go by...age 13. :roll:

[singsingsing]

How can you ever be emotionally ready for sex if you've been taught all your life that it's alternately the most evil and dirty thing you can do (if you do it before you say 'I do') or automatically totally amazing and sacred (if you do it after you say 'I do')?

I was physically and probably 'emotionally' ready for sex by the time I was about 14. Obviously I wasn't mature enough at that point, but according to this person it's not about maturity, it's about 'arrival'. Well if my parents/church had thought it was a-okay for me to get married that young and I'd met some cute guy I was really into, I'm pretty sure I would have 'arrived' at that point. Just think, I could have had 9 or 10 children by now. All those lost arrows! :(

[Rachel333]

God this is creepy.

[Toothfairy]

Da fuq :wtf:

Eight and Nine year old girls get breast and get their periods.

[uber frau]

I suppose mental maturity doesn't matter when you want a broodmare rather than a companion.

And I suppose patriarchs can't run the risk of giving their daughters an opportunity to say, "Hell no!"

[Melissa1977]

It's terrible! a 12 year old girl pregnancy is high risk (both for her and for the child, who probably will be a preemie with health issues). Even with medical help (C-section or whatever) giving birth it's not good for her body. No woman should be pregnant before finishing her physical development. So I suppose 16-18 years old should be the low limit.

And not forget the emotional issues.

It's wrong in so many levels, I'm sad.

[Nerthe]

This is Just awful!

My breasts started growing at 9 and I had my first period when I was 12.

At that point, I still had my dolls and stuffed animals around and not ready at all to give up my childhood.

I would have never been ready for marriage!!!

[DGayle]

I was a B-cup when I was 7, and had my period at 8. Precocious puberty is a pain in the ass. I remember trying to pull out my pubic hair when I was 9. When I was 10, I was a raging ball of hormones who only didn't have sex because I still thought being married was a requirement for sex, and thought I invented the idea of sex before marriage.

According to that, I was ready to be married off at 10.

If anyone approached my dad about marrying me in a serious way (a little boy in the neighborhood shyly asked my dad, but he was 5 and had a little-kid crush on me), he might have smashed a head in to keep the perv from every getting near me.

[Peas n carrots]

Who would be the creepster who would want to marry an underaged girl? I don't understand why any parent who cares would allow that to happen, ala Marantha Chapman.

Although I do believe that one's maturity for a sexual relationship varies (some are ready younger than others) I find it interesting there the young woman's emotional/mental maturity was barely considered. In this blurb, women are described as animals ready to be bred with the bull. I've seen kinder things said about bitches being ready to breed.

[Mama Mia]

I started my period at 10 and had sex for the first time at 13. While it was fun, looking back it was definitely much too young. I don't think I had any particular physical or emotional damage from being so young, I also didn't get married. If I had married that guy, my life would have been an absolute disaster and I'd likely be dead, a meth head, or in prison. The qualities I looked for in a guy were definitely not qualities that led to any sort of stability or long term happiness.

[browngrl]

Who would be the creepster who would want to marry an underaged girl?

What kind of creepster? A pedophile.

[nausicaa]

Good Lord, between this post and the last one about a woman who he was interested in spurning him, it is so painfully obvious to any healthy individual reading any of his posts that he is just a seething mass of resentful, sexually repressed misogyny desperately trying to intellectualize all of his frustrations so nothing is his fault.

So here's what I know about you so far dude, you were masturbating to thoughts of some chick for a couple months and your patriarchal upbringing made you assume you would get to sleep with her in real life and keep her around as a prize. The experience of not automatically getting what you wanted has left you in total shock.

You're also kind of into twelve year olds. Anything else?

[latraviata]

I developed breasts at the age of NINE.

Do these people seriously think that meant I was ready for marriage?

I GOt my period at 11. Do they think that the technical ability to carry a child is something that means I'm ready for marriage?

I've also never come to a point in my life where I desire sex... I'm 25... How much longer should I wait? (Sarcastic)

I have no desire for marriage whatsoever, and 9 or 11 was DEFINITELY not a good time!

Same here. Breasts at nine, period at 10.

I got married when I was thirty. The senile decay had already started..... ;)

[debrand]

I had my first period at around 11 but was a massive hornball at age 12. The only reason that I didn't have sex at that age was because I was really, really underconfident around boys. Plus, I went through an incredible ugly stage at that age with acne and greasy hair that combined with my naturally bookish, nerdishness was a huge boy turn off. :lol: Even though I thought about sex a lot, I somehow knew that I wasn't ready for it.; however, by this guy's logic, my mom should have married me off to so me other horny kid and we should have started making the babies. :ew:

The problem is that a lot of these fundies view the main purpose of marriage to be an outlet for sex and procreation. Don't get me wrong, I like sex and it is a nice extra in the marriage. The reason that I got married though was not to have sex but to live a life with someone who is my best friend, someone with who I want to experience everything that life offers.

The guy that wrote this article has a very shallow idea of marriage. He has been taught that any sexual thought is evil unless he is married to the object of his lust. Masturbation or any other type of sexual release is wrong too so he is probably miserable. Women, in his world view, are perpetual children but he has probably been taught that idea by his parents and church leaders. No wonder he believes that a teenage female is ready for marriage-to him women never ever grow up. The answer would be for him to leave this nightmarish mind fuck of a religion and either become fundie light or a more liberal Christian or even an atheist. The problem is that he would be expected to be an adult and not blame other people for his desires or mistakes and he seems a bit to egocentric for that level of adult responsibility.

[salex]

Here is the author's biography wonder if he has daughters and how old they will be when he marries them off.

Introduction

A father of six, husband of one, former missionary linguist, former school teacher, current LVN and EMT. We live on a very small farm-ish-thing in texas with a milk cow, ducks, chickens, rabbits, dogs, cats, pecan trees and a garden. Oh, and we just got a piglet.

I have long enjoyed writing, and have published two books at Lulu:

Island peoples: lulu.com/product/paperback/island-peoples/10971594

and

Come the Day .lulu.com/content/paperback-book/come-the-day/7840824

My writing can be read (including several full length books) at:

vonsbooks.com

We support Vision Forum and Heritage Defense.

[salex]

viewtopic.php?p=621443#p621443 this is a link to a thread about the betrothal of the son of the author of the blog in question, so some of you may be more familiar with him than I am.

[docmom]

I was "physically" ready at 11. Emotionally ready at 32 which is when I did get married. Of course I got to decide when I was emtionally ready, not my dad.

[salex]

I was "physically" ready at 11. Emotionally ready at 32 which is when I did get married. Of course I got to decide when I was emtionally ready, not my dad.

I was physically ready in Jr. High, and emotionally ready at 20--if I'd left it up to my dad, it would have later than my Jr. year of college (likely after a master's degree). But, not my dad's life, not his choice...

[singsingsing]

I was "physically" ready at 11. Emotionally ready at 32 which is when I did get married. Of course I got to decide when I was emtionally ready, not my dad.

Amen to this. I know my parents personally would not have cared if I'd started having sex at 18 or 20 as long as I was being responsible, but I (I, not my parents, not my pastor, not random men on the internet) have decided that I'm not ready until I'm with the right person at the right time and who knows, that may be when I'm 40, it may be never. I'm just glad I've been empowered to make that choice for myself.

[Full enough quiver]

My 15 year old is physically ready. She's pretty mature for her age, so I think she's emotionally ready for sex. We've discussed the need for responsibility for her sexual health, and preventing unplanned pregnancy. We've talked about what she would do if she got pregnant. If she met the right guy, I don't think I'd be upset if she was having sex. Marriage is a different story. Once shes 18, nothing I can do. I'd like to see her finish college first, so 22 at the youngest. Although I got married at 20, and it's working out ok so far.

My 12 year old is physically ready, but she still thinks boys are "homo habilus, practically apes" and she is "not interested" and "focused on my education, mom. I'm going to be an oceanographer, focused on research. Boys are a waste of time", so, yeah.

I actually got pregnant before starting my period. I had had two incidents of light spotting, but nothing else a few months before, but no period. I did have boobs and hips, though. Birth was horrible. I had a 3rd degree tear, and required several transfusions for hemmorrhage. I also haven't been able to have any more kids. A teen body is not meant to give birth.

[CancerBomb]

People who are biologically female can begin to have menstrual cycles at a very young age due to hormone imbalances, and technically, when female babies are born, they have breast tissue and uterine tissue (baby girls get a mini period within the first week of life outside the womb) because they were exposed to the mom's hormones. Why won't these people teach their kids what a healthy relationship is and let them get married when they're at an age where they're physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially stable??? Where are two married twelve year olds suppost to live? In a playhouse? In a tree? In a box?