Alyssa & John - light dessert reception.

[Arete]

My mom and all my female relatives of her generation or older had absolute, complete breakdowns with our generation when we started having baby showers. Both my parents threatened to boycott my sister's baby shower. They came in the end without gifts and sat scowling with the other older relatives. It is completely taboo in our culture to celebrate or even have anything set up for the baby before it is born. It is thought assuming you are bringing a baby home is asking God to kick your arrogant ass. Even my atheist uncles in Greece were horrified with the idea of gifts for a baby not even born yet.

To appease the elders, my sister had the shower gifts stashed at my place. My dad set up the bassinet and picked up the things the baby would need right away the day after she was born. THEN he went out and bought the crib he promised. My mother got the stroller the next day. Other sis has kept stuff assembled in a basement, I'm currently storing for my cousin's kid due in a few weeks.

We go to great lengths to minimize nagging and protect our arrogant asses ;)

[fun2beme]

My mom and all my female relatives of her generation or older had absolute, complete breakdowns with our generation when we started having baby showers. Both my parents threatened to boycott my sister's baby shower. They came in the end without gifts and sat scowling with the other older relatives. It is completely taboo in our culture to celebrate or even have anything set up for the baby before it is born. It is thought assuming you are bringing a baby home is asking God to kick your arrogant ass. Even my atheist uncles in Greece were horrified with the idea of gifts for a baby not even born yet.

To appease the elders, my sister had the shower gifts stashed at my place. My dad set up the bassinet and picked up the things the baby would need right away the day after she was born. THEN he went out and bought the crib he promised. My mother got the stroller the next day. Other sis has kept stuff assembled in a basement, I'm currently storing for my cousin's kid due in a few weeks.

We go to great lengths to minimize nagging and protect our arrogant asses ;)

My mom (who was born in the 1930s) is horrified with the idea of baby showers as well. Not for cultural reasons but she thinks it's wrong to assume a healthy birth will take place. She once pointed out that few things in life could be sadder than coming home from the hospital with empty arms and seeing a fully furnished nursery, versus the inconvenience of the last minute scramble.

[Tdoc72]

My mom (who was born in the 1930s) is horrified with the idea of baby showers as well. Not for cultural reasons but she thinks it's wrong to assume a healthy birth will take place. She once pointed out that few things in life could be sadder than coming home from the hospital with empty arms and seeing a fully furnished nursery, versus the inconvenience of the last minute scramble.

My MIL lost her baby in 1997 (stuck in birth canal caused oxygen deprivation & he only lived 2 hours.) Not only did she have to beg the hospital to move her out of the maternity ward, but she also had to ask my fiance (we married 3 wks later) & his sister to dis-assemble crib & pack away clothes. Very sad all around.

I like showers but not second showers. I've always heard the rule is 7 years, then you could have another. If there was a different father, maybe a small one for that side of the family.

[2xx1xy1JD]

My mom (who was born in the 1930s) is horrified with the idea of baby showers as well. Not for cultural reasons but she thinks it's wrong to assume a healthy birth will take place. She once pointed out that few things in life could be sadder than coming home from the hospital with empty arms and seeing a fully furnished nursery, versus the inconvenience of the last minute scramble.

I also thought it was just a Jewish superstition - glad I'm not a freakish as I thought.

AJ - does Greek culture/religion have any Evil Eye fears? In Judaism, the evil eye fear would have been more literal around 100 years ago, when people believed that demonic forces would be alerted to the presence of a new baby (or anything else good in your life), but it's sort of morphed into a general culture of fear of celebrating something that's not certain, or asking for trouble/jealousy if you show off.

[Palimpsest]

I also thought it was just a Jewish superstition - glad I'm not a freakish as I thought.

AJ - does Greek culture/religion have any Evil Eye fears? In Judaism, the evil eye fear would have been more literal around 100 years ago, when people believed that demonic forces would be alerted to the presence of a new baby (or anything else good in your life), but it's sort of morphed into a general culture of fear of celebrating something that's not certain, or asking for trouble/jealousy if you show off.

I'm not AreteJo, but I don't think you are freakish at all! I'll step out on a limb here and say that baby showers are not traditional in most of Europe. They are still thought of as particularly US custom that has spread to Canada but are definitely gaining in popularity in some sectors of the population.

Also, in Ethiopia when I grew up there, it was considered very bad luck to buy or give baby clothes before a birth - at least among the Amhara. The equivalent of a baby shower - no gifts - was a "tasting" where the pregnant woman gathers together with her female friends and relations and parties. The women perform special dances and cook and eat genfo, a sort of mushy porridge, usually eaten by the mother after the birth. Lots of fun!

[nokidsmom]

My MIL lost her baby in 1997 (stuck in birth canal caused oxygen deprivation & he only lived 2 hours.) Not only did she have to beg the hospital to move her out of the maternity ward, but she also had to ask my fiance (we married 3 wks later) & his sister to dis-assemble crib & pack away clothes. Very sad all around.

I like showers but not second showers. I've always heard the rule is 7 years, then you could have another. If there was a different father, maybe a small one for that side of the family.

@Tdoc72, I am sorry to hear about your MIL. My sister also lost a baby in 1997, two weeks before her due date because of a detached placenta. They had a nursery all set up and her in-law family went and packed away everything before she came home.

[twinmama]

My mom (who was born in the 1930s) is horrified with the idea of baby showers as well. Not for cultural reasons but she thinks it's wrong to assume a healthy birth will take place. She once pointed out that few things in life could be sadder than coming home from the hospital with empty arms and seeing a fully furnished nursery, versus the inconvenience of the last minute scramble.

Gotta play the odds though, how many people go full term and lose their baby? Not very many. For me, I'd rather the risk of coming home empty handed to a nursery (which I did, but my babies were in the NICU and alive) than coming home with a baby you are in no way prepared for since chances are, you'll be coming home with a baby.

But thankfully, that all matters to no one but the baby's mom and dad so to each his or her own!

[OkToBeTakei]

Gotta play the odds though, how many people go full term and lose their baby? Not very many. For me, I'd rather the risk of coming home empty handed to a nursery (which I did, but my babies were in the NICU and alive) than coming home with a baby you are in no way prepared for since chances are, you'll be coming home with a baby.

But thankfully, that all matters to no one but the baby's mom and dad so to each his or her own!

I would not say not prepared. More superstition dictating HOW you organise.

No babies I know of in Scotland and Ireland have suffered from lack of having stuff :lol:

[Arete]

AJ - does Greek culture/religion have any Evil Eye fears? In Judaism, the evil eye fear would have been more literal around 100 years ago, when people believed that demonic forces would be alerted to the presence of a new baby (or anything else good in your life), but it's sort of morphed into a general culture of fear of celebrating something that's not certain, or asking for trouble/jealousy if you show off.

The fear of the Evil Eye is definitely a strong cultural superstition in Greece. Same thing, a few generations ago there was a literal fear of "attracting" demonic forces, and even of unconsciously unleashing evil intent through your own jealousy. So a parent or grandparent would NEVER say "my child is pretty", "my child is smart", or even "the business is doing well". My sister's friend was shocked when she complimented my newborn niece to my father by saying "She is such a pretty baby!", and my father immediately said "Eh, she looks like a monkey." and shrugged. We had to take her aside and explain that people in his generation would NEVER compliment a newborn, lest they bring on some bad luck. Because Dad was officially agnostic (that was his story and by God he stuck to it), he could never bring himself to ritually spit and say "May evil be conquered!", so he would use a mild put down to "distract" the Evil Eye. :lol: My mother would and still does say "Pftou, pftou", ritual spitting, and "May evil be conquered!" if anyone is being to free with the compliments toward ANY child.

Today, a lot of modern Greeks will not admit they fear the evil eye, but like in Judaism have wove into the cultural narrative a fear of celebrating something that is not a 100% done deal and a fear of attracting ill will or jealousy.

And yeah, baby showers are an absolute NO GO in modern Greece. The baby gets it's gifts during the visits people make after it comes home. Usually the grandparents or other family have prearranged to go get basics for baby while the mother is still in the hospital. So you will come home to diapers, a bassinet, and outfits for the baby, your parent comes to the hospital with the new carseat, and everything else falls into place afterward.

[2xx1xy1JD]

The fear of the Evil Eye is definitely a strong cultural superstition in Greece. Same thing, a few generations ago there was a literal fear of "attracting" demonic forces, and even of unconsciously unleashing evil intent through your own jealousy. So a parent or grandparent would NEVER say "my child is pretty", "my child is smart", or even "the business is doing well". My sister's friend was shocked when she complimented my newborn niece to my father by saying "She is such a pretty baby!", and my father immediately said "Eh, she looks like a monkey." and shrugged. We had to take her aside and explain that people in his generation would NEVER compliment a newborn, lest they bring on some bad luck. Because Dad was officially agnostic (that was his story and by God he stuck to it), he could never bring himself to ritually spit and say "May evil be conquered!", so he would use a mild put down to "distract" the Evil Eye. :lol: My mother would and still does say "Pftou, pftou", ritual spitting, and "May evil be conquered!" if anyone is being to free with the compliments toward ANY child.

Today, a lot of modern Greeks will not admit they fear the evil eye, but like in Judaism have wove into the cultural narrative a fear of celebrating something that is not a 100% done deal and a fear of attracting ill will or jealousy.

And yeah, baby showers are an absolute NO GO in modern Greece. The baby gets it's gifts during the visits people make after it comes home. Usually the grandparents or other family have prearranged to go get basics for baby while the mother is still in the hospital. So you will come home to diapers, a bassinet, and outfits for the baby, your parent comes to the hospital with the new carseat, and everything else falls into place afterward.

OMG, that's EXACTLY the same as the ritual spitting that Jews do! "Such a beautiful baby" (spitting noise) and "k'naina hora" (which means no evil eye).

Just looked up wikipedia for evil eye: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil_eye

Yup, it's the same folk belief, and it's surprisingly widespread.