Nathaniel Darnell Lectures on Courtship

[hoipolloi]

Using Jessa Duggar's courtship, Nathaniel Darnell takes the opportunity to tell the rest of us how to do it right (perseveronews.com/three-lessons-to-learn-from-duggars-new-courtship/).

This deserves its own topic but I'm afraid it will take a Debrand or Palimpsest to dissect Mr Darnell's commentary. In the meantime I'll leave you with some epic quotes which, inevitably, raise more snark questions than answers:

Thus, it’s great to see Jessa and Ben approaching getting married at a fairly young age compared to the national averages of today. They are being proactive about marriage. Jessa is 20 years old and Ben is 18 years old. Getting married at a young age will enable them to maximize their ability to “be fruitful and multiply†as Jessa’s own parents have already been setting an extraordinary example.

[Emphasis added]

Hello, Nathaniel? Do you read what you write?

Two people cannot be left alone and be allowed to congeal together as they talk far beyond foundational issues and into personal matters, begin to share intimacies and expectations for marriage, and not expect that damage will be done if things are abruptly and callously concluded. This is one chief reason for why fathers need to take the lead in the relationship from the get-go.

[Emphasis added]

Congeal together? Like leftover bacon grease? Oh, and Nathaniel - did your father take the lead in your recently ended relationship? Inquiring snarkers want to know.

Since I was 11-years-old, I have committed to the Lord that I would give my first kiss (to a lady outside of my family) to only my wife at my wedding. I have thus far been true to that commitment.

Yes, best to avoid those icky girl-kisses.

...some degree of affection in an approach toward marriage is inescapable. We just have to be careful about how we go about it. Most importantly, we cannot allow our expressions of physical or emotional affection to imply an idolatry of the other person or of ourselves. God gave us affections to make obeying His commands pleasant. We can turn those pleasures into something idolatrous and erotic if we take them to excess, living as if we were our own gods. We play our own gods when we use a resource He’s given to do something the Lord expressly forbids.

Whoa, Nelly - WTF does this even mean?

Sometimes I hear someone say something like, “No courtship is a failure!†This is not true. If an approach to marriage ends because either or both parties violate the covenant of God’s Law-Word, it is most definitely a failure, and it is wrong to give those who do this false assurance by glossing over it.

So Nathaniel - was your recently ended courtship a failure?

[Georgiana]

[Emphasis added]

So all the elder SAHDs are that way because they aren't being "proactive about marriage"? What does that even mean? This is a total slap in the face to Jana Duggar and Michael Bates, or any SAHD who isn't married "young".

Don't wait for God's best, ladies! You need to pop out babies, so if you don't meet anyone perfect by 22, better settle for God's "good enough"!

[hoipolloi]

Using Jessa Duggar's courtship, Nathaniel Darnell takes the opportunity to tell the rest of us how to do it right (perseveronews.com/three-lessons-to-learn-from-duggars-new-courtship/).

This deserves its own topic but I'm afraid it will take a Debrand or Palimpsest to dissect Mr Darnell's commentary. In the meantime I'll leave you with some epic quotes which, inevitably, raise more snark questions than answers:

...

So Nathaniel - was your recently ended courtship a failure?

My deep apologies to the FJ community.

After posting I realized I could have used much less bandwith by using the following summary of Mr. Darnell's commentary:

Do as I say, not as I do.

[Talitha Cumi]

Whoa, Nelly - WTF does this even mean?

No jerking off. ;)

[DomWackTroll]

"Since I was 11-years-old, I have committed to the Lord that I would give my first kiss (to a lady outside of my family) to only my wife at my wedding."

[Marian the Librarian]

Ohhhh, this is rich, rich, rich indeed. What a versatile guy Nathaniel is - a MANly man who bloviates at length about the need for multiple witnesses in cases of clergy sexual abuse; then tells us ALL how we should be conducting our intimate relationships. Because he, after all, has had so much firsthand experience with marriage.

Hey Nathaniel! Over here!! I was in my mid-fifties when I got married, and the whole "fruitful and multiply" thing just ain't going to happen for Mr. MtL and me - but we still "congeal" on a happily regular basis! Has your head exploded yet?? :cracking-up:

Edited to add: I think "Congealing Like Bacon Grease" would make a fine post count title. Just sayin.'

[doggie]

"Since I was 11-years-old, I have committed to the Lord that I would give my first kiss (to a lady outside of my family) to only my wife at my wedding."

so this leaves room for god approved incest?

[Earthshine]

so this leaves room for god approved incest?

Maybe he dates his mom and sisters a la David Waller. :dance:

[ILoveJellybeans]

Maybe he dates his mom and sisters a la David Waller. :dance:

David Waller likes incest? Although then again, I think he really looks like Priscilla, they look like they could be siblings.

[mockingbird]

so this leaves room for god approved incest?

Also kissing men.

[Peas n carrots]

Spoken like someone who has no clue what they are talking about!

Which we all know is true.

[salex]

Spoken like someone who has no clue what they are talking about!

Which we all know is true.

A great big bunch of teaching his granny to suck eggs.

[thoughtful]

Wow -- he really takes being a douchebag to a whole new level.

[Emphasis added]

Congeal together? Like leftover bacon grease?

Stay pure, kids, and render unto God that which is God's, or:

[DomWackTroll]

Oh, look-- it's a new episode of HBO's Looking:

vimeo.com/16989679

Just kidding; it's an allegedly hilarious blooper tape of Nathaniel Darnell and Brant "Not His Real Name 'Cuz... Well, You Know" Harris, which is way more gay than any episode of Looking.

ETA my favorite Freudian moment: Darnell saying "a real tight shot ON his face" rather than "a real tight shot OF his face."

[fiery redhead]

Using Jessa Duggar's courtship, Nathaniel Darnell takes the opportunity to tell the rest of us how to do it right (perseveronews.com/three-lessons-to-learn-from-duggars-new-courtship/).

This deserves its own topic but I'm afraid it will take a Debrand or Palimpsest to dissect Mr Darnell's commentary. In the meantime I'll leave you with some epic quotes which, inevitably, raise more snark questions than answers:

How the heck do emotions make obeying God easier? Our emotions can cloud our better judgement or simply fuel us to do what we want to do. This Darnell guy is weird.

[thoughtful]

Anybody else want a go?

[Ralar]

Whoa, Nelly - WTF does this even mean?

I think it means Darnell belongs in Maxhell!

[Tangy Bee]

I'm gradually learning more about this Darnell dude. Just how many courtships has he had and who is to blame for them not working out I wonder? :think:

[congusto]

Spoken like someone who has no clue what they are talking about!

Which we all know is true.

He's quite Gothardesque in his expertise. What a complete knob.

[doggie]

All these little expert fundies on relationships who either have never had them or not for very long. I wonder if other fundies actually listen to them or do they do it for their own glorification?

[DGayle]

Using Jessa Duggar's courtship, Nathaniel Darnell takes the opportunity to tell the rest of us how to do it right (perseveronews.com/three-lessons-to-learn-from-duggars-new-courtship/).

I read that website as Perverse News.

[ladyamylynn]

Oh, look-- it's a new episode of HBO's Looking:

vimeo.com/16989679

Just kidding; it's an allegedly hilarious blooper tape of Nathaniel Darnell and Brant "Not His Real Name 'Cuz... Well, You Know" Harris, which is way more gay than any episode of Looking.

ETA my favorite Freudian moment: Darnell saying "a real tight shot ON his face" rather than "a real tight shot OF his face."

These two are serving up some Easter Ham Realness right here.

[Olive Plant]

These two are serving up some Easter Ham Realness right here.

Defrauding crotch grabs and talk about "every inch of his face" and a video of what is basically Brant giggling… since gayness is a choice that people apparently randomly decide to make for no good reason, ND, don't you think such videos encourage improper affection between males and their "muscles"?

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

Great, now every time I see Jake Gyllenhal I'm going to think of Nate Darnell. (He seriously resembled him in that video.)

[DomWackTroll]

Great, now every time I see Jake Gyllenhal I'm going to think of Nate Darnell. (He seriously resembled him in that video.)

And didn't you find his manner of speaking so like Doug Phillips'? "He laughs in the face of danger..." Like a very uptight person trying to clown around and show us heathens that Christian Reconstructionists can have a sense of humor, too! Epic fail for both of these control freaks.