Adam Lanza's Father (Sandy Hook Shooter) Speaks

[Peas n carrots]

The New Yorker published an interview by Andrew Solomon, who spoke at length with Peter Lanza about his son

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2014/03/17/140317fa_fact_solomon?currentPage=all

Although it seems like Adam's mother hovered a bit too much and his father could have been more involved, it is a terrifying thought that despite all they did to try to help reach Adam there was nothing that could be done. It also sounded as if towards the end the mother was somewhat in denial of how badly Adam had deteriorated and had indulged a lot of Adam's asocial tendencies.

It's a very sad piece, and Peter Lanza seems to have accepted that his son was evil.

[sparkles]

He sounds so defeated. I can't even imagine what it's like for a parent to have to live with this.

Excellent article.

[Arete]

Excellent and heartbreaking.

[bionicmlle]

That poor man - heartbreaking in many ways.

[ADoyle90815]

This is a sad piece, and it does sound like he wanted to see his son Adam more, but his ex-wife wouldn't allow it as she was in such denial about how much he had deteriorated. In my opinion, this is the worst case scenario for helicopter parenting by a mother, especially if the child has some type of disability.

[Stephanie66]

Why was she buying him GUNS? I know the father doesn't really know, but SHE WAS BUYING HIM GUNS! And I absolutely believe Adam would have killed Ryan and his father if they had been in the home. No doubt at all.

I think one of the strangest parts of this story was when they announced Ryan was the killer. He was on a train in NYC and his friends were all texting and calling him saying "Dude...what's going on?" He was obviously no where near Newtown and was completely freaked out. Adam had (for whatever reason) put Ryan's ID in his wallet. I have always wondered if Adam wished he were Ryan?

[Peas n carrots]

Why was she buying him GUNS? I know the father doesn't really know, but SHE WAS BUYING HIM GUNS! And I absolutely believe Adam would have killed Ryan and his father if they had been in the home. No doubt at all.

I think one of the strangest parts of this story was when they announced Ryan was the killer. He was on a train in NYC and his friends were all texting and calling him saying "Dude...what's going on?" He was obviously no where near Newtown and was completely freaked out. Adam had (for whatever reason) put Ryan's ID in his wallet. I have always wondered if Adam wished he were Ryan?

Of course we don't know enough, but it sure seems like a logical assumption. His brother by all outward appearances seems well adjusted enough to have a job in a competitive industry, and have a social life. I imagine it must be difficult for Adam to see his brother thrive while he became a virtual recluse who was dependent upon his mother.

As for buying Adam guns...it seems that his mother was A) overly indulgent in Adam's anti-social proclativies and B) was in a serious state of denial on how bad Adam's psychological state had become.

I can get where Adam killed his mother and himself...but to me it is still a mystery why he shot up the Sandy Hook school. It seems many of these male shooters want to take out their rage on society...perhaps targeting the most vulnerable was his way of hitting the world where it hurt the most?

[crazyforkate]

He did go to the school as a child. Was there any evidence that maybe he was bullied there or had a miserable experience? I don't think it's uncommon for adults to have misplaced rage/revulsion towards a place where they were unhappy as children. Throw in someone who is already unbalanced and it could turn deadly fast.

[Stephanie66]

He did go to the school as a child. Was there any evidence that maybe he was bullied there or had a miserable experience? I don't think it's uncommon for adults to have misplaced rage/revulsion towards a place where they were unhappy as children. Throw in someone who is already unbalanced and it could turn deadly fast.

His dad said he was really happy there. It has been suggested that Adam may have had sexual feelings towards children, but I don't know the validity of that.

It is so beyond my understanding how anyone can look at a terrified animal and shoot it, let alone a terrified child. I saw the PBS special and the Rachel Maddow special and I am really no closer to understanding what he was thinking or why he decided to shoot children. He did obsess on mass shootings, and his mother wanted to move him from Newtown (all that was safe and familiar to him) to Colorado because she found a college she thought he would do well in. That might have been what set Adam off-he didn't want to leave Newtown and the only way he could commit suicide (the only way he saw out of going to CO) was to do something horrendous enough that he would not want to live. I don't know. I don't think anyone will ever know.

I remember reading an article a few days afterwards and one of the fathers was referring to his son in present tense. I cried uncontrollably.

[DGayle]

Tons of people still like to blame the father and Ryan, like they had any legal power to stop it or were somehow at fault. They were both victims too. Nancy was an idiot who did give Adam money to buy guns, but Ryan still lost his mother and brother, and his dad lost an ex and son. No matter how much people say Adam and Nancy deserved to die, that doesn't erase a couple more lives being turned upside down in the process, a terrible situation compounded by suddenly being hated by much of America for sharing the Lanza name.

[already hungover]

Andrew Solomon, the author of this piece, has also written a book called Far from the Tree, about children whose identities radically differ in some way from those of their parents. Among the many parents he interviews are Thomas and Susan Klebold, whose son Dylan was one of the shooters at Columbine High School in 1999. Like this one, that interview is pretty wrenching. In it, Susan Klebold muses that it would have been better for the world had her son not existed, but it would have been worse for her.

The entire book is fantastic, not all of it as tragic as the Klebold interview. I recommend it wholeheartedly.

[Peas n carrots]

Andrew Solomon, the author of this piece, has also written a book called Far from the Tree, about children whose identities radically differ in some way from those of their parents. Among the many parents he interviews are Thomas and Susan Klebold, whose son Dylan was one of the shooters at Columbine High School in 1999. Like this one, that interview is pretty wrenching. In it, Susan Klebold muses that it would have been better for the world had her son not existed, but it would have been worse for her.

The entire book is fantastic, not all of it as tragic as the Klebold interview. I recommend it wholeheartedly.

Thanks for the recommendation...I enjoy these kinds of books. Especially as someone who turned out radically different from her mother.

[already hungover]

Thanks for the recommendation...I enjoy these kinds of books. Especially as someone who turned out radically different from her mother.

I turned out radically different, as well, and that's why I was drawn to the book. I hope you get as much out of it as I did.

[louisa05]

He did go to the school as a child. Was there any evidence that maybe he was bullied there or had a miserable experience? I don't think it's uncommon for adults to have misplaced rage/revulsion towards a place where they were unhappy as children. Throw in someone who is already unbalanced and it could turn deadly fast.

The notion that being bullied makes a kid snap into a mass shooter became part of the standard explanation for school shootings after the circumstances around Columbine were misreported in the immediate aftermath. Those two kids had a history of being the bullies, particularly Eric Harris, not the other way around. And the FBI profiling of school shooters does not show any prevalence of victims of bullying--mostly the opposite actually. Check out Dave Cullen's excellent book Columbine for more.

[Stephanie66]

The notion that being bullied makes a kid snap into a mass shooter became part of the standard explanation for school shootings after the circumstances around Columbine were misreported in the immediate aftermath. Those two kids had a history of being the bullies, particularly Eric Harris, not the other way around. And the FBI profiling of school shooters does not show any prevalence of victims of bullying--mostly the opposite actually. Check out Dave Cullen's excellent book Columbine for more.

Yep. I had to read that book in increments because it was so emotionally charged, but yes, a thousand times yes. They weren't bullied. They were mean, up until the ends of their lives. They also came from upper-middle class, well educated families with a stay-at-home mom. No one wants to talk about them because they came from the typical nuclear suburban family.

Also liked how he crushed the Cassie Bernall story. It was absolutely tragic that she was murdered and yes, her parents did have a good story to tell about her rebellion and struggle, etc. But the "Do you believe in God" thing never happened to Cassie. It happened to a different girl altogether who was under a desk or table praying. Kiebold asked her if she believed in God, she responded, "Yes", and for some reason, he walked away. Cassie was also praying, but Kiebold shot her. No verbal exchange happened.

At any rate, it must have been horrific.