SSM: When your husband is a jerk, just serve and submit

[polecat]

I feel so bad for her daughters (there are 3 or 4, right?). What kind of life they must live in that household? What ways are they supposed to be submissive? Do they ever get to ask for anything outright?

She has two biological daughters and two (or three, take your pick) imaginary ones.

[Hisey]

She has two biological daughters and two (or three, take your pick) imaginary ones.

SSM only has two kids? I thought she had five daughters, aged around 5-14

[anjulibai]

She has two biological daughters and two (or three, take your pick) imaginary ones.

Wait, what?

[blue_the_puppy]

Wait, what?

If you poke around online (all public information, so don't threaten me with a lawsuit SSM), its pretty clear there's only two daughters. No idea why she likes to perpetuate the idea that she's working on a quiverfull, but I'm guessing it has to do with super manly alpha husband's super manly alpha sperm.

[AuntCloud]

6. There is something called "resigned cheerfulness".

Can that be translated to smiling through gritted teeth, dammit, even if it kills you both, just to show your supreme submission even to the biggest of dickwads? The higher the asshattery you need to put up with, the more points you score.

I just realized my avatar is not keeping sweet today.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Can that be translated to smiling through gritted teeth, dammit, even if it kills you both, just to show your supreme submission even to the biggest of dickwads? The higher the asshattery you need to put up with, the more points you score.

I just realized my avatar is not keeping sweet today.

Yes. Keep sweet while simmering like a volcano. See also passive-aggressive behavior.

[peanut gallery]

If you poke around online (all public information, so don't threaten me with a lawsuit SSM), its pretty clear there's only two daughters. No idea why she likes to perpetuate the idea that she's working on a quiverfull, but I'm guessing it has to do with super manly alpha husband's super manly alpha sperm.

Wait, so whenever she references her middle school aged daughter such as in this story it's all made up? :shock:

ETA. Whoops I misread the post above. I thought her daughters were 3 and 4.

[itsnikki05]

LOL

She could be like my daughter was this week. Walks into dining room and steps in wet spot on carpet before making breakfast. Sniffs to see if dog went there. Looks around and sees no ready reason. Mutters about it and starts coffee. Discovers wet spot on counter. Looks up at dining room ceiling and yells honey the roof is leaking!!

No need for manipulation and folderol. No need to mess around about the braces and jump through hoops that frequently make an adult look ludicrous (I've seen these submissive things played out beside the soccer field with a wife flattering and rubbing the hubby just to stop for pizza on the way home.). Look him straight in the eye and go I need the debit card receipts now so I don't overdraw with the braces deposit on Tuesday. He's an adult. He can take it.

I can't fathom why a grown man would welcome blatant flattery and manipulation over straight forward dealing. To me it's dishonest at a minimum such that every time I did something nice he'd be wondering what I wanted.

Honestly, my husband would be offended if I tried to manipulate him. I just come out and tell him "we need x" or "you need to do y", he does the same. How HARD is that? I mean, I just don't get it? And y'all, when my husband is a jerk, I tell him so. And look, if my husband tried to pull that license plate crap, I'd call him on it. I'm not driving an illegal vehicle. And why couldn't she have renewed? It's not that hard? Geez, these folks give me a headache y'all.

[itsnikki05]

I'm fairly sure I know why he won't hand over the receipts. The submissive 'fundie' wife thing is never going to fix that problem.

Also who balances a chequebook anymore?! I've never had to do this & i've had a bank account for 14 years.

My grandmother. She balances her checkbook. :p

[maybeizfundie]

Yeaahhh, well, I actually tried that.

Address issue, get blown off.

Address issue again, super, super respectfully, get ignored.

(it was something he needed to do, related to insurance that was in his name, and the company wouldn't talk to me since I wasn't the primary, otherwise I'd just have done it myself)

Choose not to address it again, thinking that would be nagging, and he can deal with the consequences.

Lo and behold, when the consequences do arise (not dire, just irritating), suddenly it's a HUGE DEAL and it's ALL MY FAULT and WHY DIDN'T I SAY SOMETHING??????? Stupid, stupid woman!

When I tried to remind him that I had spoken to him about it twice, and it was something *he* needed to do because I literally couldn't, I was told I had "attitude" and was an "idiot".

One of many reasons we are now separated. By far not the worst reason, but still pretty crappy. Sucks to be the wife who gets labeled "rebellious" for trying to get something done, or insisting that the husband fulfills his responsibility, but who is then also labeled completely at fault when his failure causes problems.

[moodygirl86]

Yeaahhh, well, I actually tried that.

Address issue, get blown off.

Address issue again, super, super respectfully, get ignored.

(it was something he needed to do, related to insurance that was in his name, and the company wouldn't talk to me since I wasn't the primary, otherwise I'd just have done it myself)

Choose not to address it again, thinking that would be nagging, and he can deal with the consequences.

Lo and behold, when the consequences do arise (not dire, just irritating), suddenly it's a HUGE DEAL and it's ALL MY FAULT and WHY DIDN'T I SAY SOMETHING??????? Stupid, stupid woman!

When I tried to remind him that I had spoken to him about it twice, and it was something *he* needed to do because I literally couldn't, I was told I had "attitude" and was an "idiot".

One of many reasons we are now separated. By far not the worst reason, but still pretty crappy. Sucks to be the wife who gets labeled "rebellious" for trying to get something done, or insisting that the husband fulfills his responsibility, but who is then also labeled completely at fault when his failure causes problems.

You're a million and one times better off without him. I'm glad you got shot of that arrogant prick.

[YPestis]

I don't understand fundies/MRA's military analogy to marriage. In the military, a commander has to earn his rank. He is not given power over someone by nature of his birth. To be an officer, one has to have a college degree and go through an ROTC training or enter one of the service academies. With each successive promotion, there must be a trail of satisfactory accomplishments, including treating subordinates properly and accomplishing one's own tasks on time.

An officer who does not perform his duties (like a husband who cannot be bothered with bills) will not be in his job long. The excuse of "I'm too busy doing other stuff" doesn't float with the military (or any job). Honestly, if these MRA men decide to act like this in the military, I'm pretty sure they'd find themselves charged with dereliction of duty.

It seems the MRAs are all talk. They enjoy talking about the privileges they are supposedly entitled to, yet they also believe they are "too important" to deal with their "subordinates'" needs. It just goes to show these MRAs are a bunch of losers who probably struggles to hold down their jobs and any relationships. Who wants to put up with such entitled assholes?

[Toothfairy]

Sunshine Mary seems interesting :pink-shock: