Kingdom Twindom got her cheating husband back

[kaetrin]

I remember when I was a kid being very worried about how one was supposed to tell the difference between God telling you something, and just your own thoughts/imagination. In my experience, it turns out to be much like antifundie describes -- there is a definite sense of something outside/bigger than you. For me also it has tended to be non-verbal, most often a feeling of reassurance that I am loved and valuable, not the nonsensical minutiae about which dress to wear or whatever.

I can think of one instance where, when I tell the story, I used language like "God told me x and I said y and then he said z." But it wasn't at all like hearing voices. When I thought about it just now, it struck me as being very like translation-memories. I mean, I spent in a summer in Spain when I was 20. I spoke Spanish with difficulty (and now not at all) but I know that I carried on conversations with local friends in Spanish. When I think about those conversations, though, I "remember" my friends speaking English even though I know they didn't. So God didn't speak to me out loud, but however the divine presence communicated with me, it was filtered through my consciousness as a sort of memory of speech that wasn't really speech. Does that make any sense?

Edited to remove content of "conversation" with God.

[Rosa]

How does she know that voice she hears isn't Satan?

I'm serious. Groups that really teach direct revelations from God usually have a discernment process - the fundy mormons say you need a certain number of Godly men to review each other's prophecies, my partner's mom used to belong to a Charismatic Catholic group that had weekly meetings to talk about dreams and visions and help each other figure out which ones were from God and which were false. Baptist friends of mine used to search the Bible for confirmation of what they thought God was telling them - they said He wouldn't tell them to do anything that contradicted Scripture, so their middle-of-the-night God moments would be followed by days of reading the Bible trying to figure out what they should do.

[Lainey]

I personally think that pretty much all "conversations from God" come from one's own brain/imagination, but that's just my opinion. I know enough to know I don't know everything. ;)

Worrying about what "God's" telling you to do seems pretty silly to me. :think:

[Guest Anonymous]

I want to know where she found the bank deposit, damn it! :lol:

Well, she revealed where the money was. Someone else want to go read that blog entry and tell me if you think it sounds made up? I'm sitting at the Cynical Table again, but it's all a little too cutesy/convenient/I read it in Guideposts for me.

[liltwinstar]

I read it...it does sound kinda messed up/fake/too cutesy to me, but...I guess it could have happened? Her post about losing the money didn't seem as panicked as I would expect, though. If I lost my paycheck, I'd be frantic!!

Did you catch the bit where she said that since she was a "single mother" for 8 months, she's going to write an advice bit to other single mothers? To help them out, you know, with all her experience and tips and stuff.

I can't read her blog any more...too enraging.

(oh, and I do *not* buy the 50-75% of men have a sex addiction thing. No. I think she just said that to make herself and her situation seem normal...which it isn't)

[Kitty]

How the flying Floridian fuck do you develop a sex addiction at fucking 12 years old? Seriously? Maybe he was "diagnosed" because he was caught wacking off too many times.

I don't doubt that sex addiction does exist, but there's a difference between "cheating bastard who grew up in a repressive environment" and "creep who binges on porn and hookers." Just like there's "person who grew up in an environment where alcohol was forbidden and gets trashed whenever alcohol is present" and "Alcoholic who gets trashed all the time and depends on alcohol to get through the day." Addiction is a disease, not a choice. Cheating is a choice, even when you have a high sex drive and are desperate for "greener pastures."

[InkyGirl]

It was in the Bible...? I call BS.

[ThisOlGirl]

How the flying Floridian fuck do you develop a sex addiction at fucking 12 years old? Seriously? Maybe he was "diagnosed" because he was caught wacking off too many times.

I don't doubt that sex addiction does exist, but there's a difference between "cheating bastard who grew up in a repressive environment" and "creep who binges on porn and hookers." Just like there's "person who grew up in an environment where alcohol was forbidden and gets trashed whenever alcohol is present" and "Alcoholic who gets trashed all the time and depends on alcohol to get through the day." Addiction is a disease, not a choice. Cheating is a choice, even when you have a high sex drive and are desperate for "greener pastures."

I watched the OWN show that featured them, and I noticed some interesting things. He says his parents split up when he was young and he went to live with a family member who dated strippers. He almost made it sound like he was in the strip clubs at an early age. Then when he starts giving his excuses reasons why he cheated on Sarah, he mentioned that Sarah was a "class act" and the strippers were "dirty & wrong", so he could only do those "dirty & wrong" sexual acts with a stripper. To me, that says a lot about how he sees certain women and sex.

I also don't think either one of these people were brought up fundie. He clearly wasn't raised fundie if he grew up around strippers, and she mentioned that she was working retail when they met. I wonder if they went fundie (her more them him, obviously) after she found out about the cheating. He was shipped off overseas just a few weeks after they met, they got to know each other by writing when he was overseas(during which time SHE asked HIM to marry her), and got married just a few weeks after he came home. I honestly don't think either one of them were ready for marriage--she may have thought she was, but his actions tell me he definitely wasn't ready.

[Shirley MacLaine]

Sarah was a "class act" and the strippers were "dirty & wrong", so he could only do those "dirty & wrong" sexual acts with a stripper.

RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG

[emeraldskull]

RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG

Actually, he said she was "classy", which still goes back to someone you can't do "dirty and wrong" things with. I transcribed the whole thing for those who want to read what they said but don't want to or can't watch the video...

WARNING it is VERY long.

BRIAN: When Sarah and I first met, I was 21, she was 22. I was in the Marine Corp, home on leave.

SARAH: I was working in a downtown clothing store, and we just started talking. I liked him right off the bat.

BRIAN: I could feel a click right away. I asked her to go to dinner with me.

SARAH: We hung out all night long. There was an attraction there, for sure.

BRIAN: She was very beautiful. I could just tell that she was a cut above most of the other women I had met in my life. It's kinda hard being in the military and trying to find someone you're connected with. She was definitely special.

One week later, Brian finds out he is getting deployed.

SARAH: When Brian found out that he was going to be shipped overseas, he said "You will write me?" and I said "Of course, I'll write you".

BRIAN: We started writing, pretty much the first day. Our hopes and desires kinda came out in the letters. We just built upon it the whole time.

SARAH: I viewed him as a friend, then a better friend, and then a best friend. I loved him.

BRIAN: The letters that I received from Sarah in Iraq were my connection to the real world. They were an escape. For five or ten minutes out of the day, I was back home with Sarah. You want to have meaning in your life, and she was that meaning. At this point we started realizing that the possibility of me not coming home was high. War is hell.

SARAH: I was very proud of his military service, but at night it was awful. I just remember being very worried, thinking maybe if I stayed awake and prayed, he would stay alive.

Over the next ten months, Brian and Sarah's relationship continues to grow.

BRIAN: One letter I received, it was different than all the rest.

SARAH: I wrote him, "Hey sweetheart, time for the questions. Number 1, would you rather get married in a church, or outside? Number 2, if you could use one word to describe marriage, what would it be?

BRIAN: And then the last question was "will you marry me?". I knew she would make a great mother, I knew she would make a great wife.

SARAH: When I mailed the letter I didn't have any doubts what his answer would be. And I immediately went out and bought a bride magazine and started planning the wedding. And in July of 2004, Brian was honorably discharged from the marine corp, meaning he got to come home. I don't remember ever being happier to see anybody in my entire life.

Two weeks later, Brian and Sarah exchange wedding vows.

SARAH: My dad married us, he was the minister. It was beautiful, it was perfect.

BRIAN: I immediately got a job doing construction. She helped her parents run a lodge. We spent a lot of time together.

SARAH: We jumped right in to married life, very easily. I don't think that I know people that started out happier than we did.

BRIAN: There was a lot of passion, physical connection, emotional connection, spiritual connection. It all felt right.

SARAH: We were ready to have a family.

Six months later, Sarah is pregnant.

BRIAN: We were both excited at first. I had always looked forward to being a dad. But she had a really rough pregnancy.

SARAH: About six weeks into the pregnancy, I started having this backache. And it just got worse and worse and worse. My fever had spiked 230.

BRIAN: She developed a kidney infection. It was life threatening. It was a really stressful time for both of us.

SARAH: The doctor tried three antibiotics before he found one that worked. And he said "You need to be on bed rest." I've never felt more confined. I was depressed. And during that time, I found that I was having twins.

BRIAN: When I found out I was having two kids, and this added stress of possibly losing her, I felt overwhelmed. Our lives as we had known it just changed. We didn't get to spend as much time together, our home life wasn't exactly what I thought it was going to be. I felt like we disconnected.

SARAH: My bed rest kept us from being as close as we really wanted to be. There was a wall of silence that really grew between us during that time. We went from this amazing honeymoon period to just halt in our marriage. It was like on a dime, from everything is great to nothing is good.

BRIAN: A couple years before this, I'm in the military. Now I'm at home, trying to

adjust to a normal life, with two babies on the way and a marriage that is starting to feel disconnected. At a time when I should have been completely emotionally there for her, I wanted to comfort myself.

While Sarah is preparing for the birth of their twins, Brian begins to secretly visit the local strip club.

BRIAN: Stepping into the door of a strip club, I felt confident. I felt like I belonged.

Dr. Doug Weiss is Brian and Sarah's therapist. He has more than 20 years experience counseling married couples.

DR WEISS: You're wanted by the most beautiful girl in the world, it gives you excitement, it gives you adventure, power, control. You feel handsome, it's all about you. The women worship you, adore you. You're there 24/7, they're never tired, they never have kids. That's stress relieving. It's a great world, it's just not real.

BRIAN: It really didn't seem like that big of a deal to me. That environment felt like home. When I was growing up, my parents got divorced. I went to live with someone in my family, and at the time he was dating a stripper. There were strippers at the house all the time. We would go up to the strip club. I just got used to that environment, it became normal day-to-day life for me. His girlfriend, she'd bend over in front of me and she wouldn't be wearing any underwear. At first it was exciting and fun, but it started making me feel uncomfortable, that situation.

DR WEISS: What Brian was learning was only to see sex as an exchange, not sex as love. That's going to mess you up.

BRIAN: There's no tension there, there's no stress. It's like a rest stop. I'm passing a rest stop, might as well stop in and take a rest.

DR WEISS: Brian had 2 worlds, his world with Sarah and his fantasy world. When Brian went to the other world, he felt wanted, significant. He didn't have to serve, he got to be served. He got to be the center of the world. Unfortunately, in his situation, it only exasperated his problem.

BRIAN: I would feel guilty, because I knew that Sarah thought it was wrong. I started to feel like I was a bad person. I didn't know how to fight it. I felt like I couldn't control my urges. I started backing away a little bit from the relationship.

SARAH: I would ask about the disconnect. He would just say, "I'm worried about your health. I'm worried about the babies. I'm stressed about work. It's going to get better." And I believed him.

On June 23, 2005, Sarah goes into labor.

SARAH: Brian was great, he held my hand, he calmed me down, he made little jokes.

BRIAN: Meeting my girls for the first time, they were just gorgeous. I didn't want to put them down.

SARAH: I felt connected to Brian, I felt connected to the kids, we were a family. I thought we were past this last phase that was awful, and this is a new phase and it's going to be great.

BRIAN: After the twins were born, I took to being a dad really quickly, I was changing diapers from day one. It was just all about the kids for a little while.

Soon, parenthood begins to take a toll on Brian.

BRIAN: Being a father was more stressful to me than war. War was fighting, it was combat. That stress was something I could handle.

DR WEISS: The military does an excellent job teaching you to function under extreme conditions. And that helps you to disassociate. That skill isn't always helpful in a relationship, because a relationship is where you are trying to connect, not disconnect. So it was easy for him to disconnect himself from being a responsible husband who loves his wife and go be the guy who strippers want to play with.

BRIAN: Before, I was visiting the clubs maybe once or twice a month. And at this point I started visiting the club maybe once or twice a week. I really developed a friendship with some of the girls, we would just talk, flirt. It wasn't the act of sex, it was the possibility. It was the tension that was created, and that is what I would go looking for.

SARAH: Brian was coming home at this point twelve o'clock at night, twelve thirty, one o'clock in the morning, I was very, very suspicious. I would say "I don't feel like we're married. I don't feel like you want to be home. Sometimes he would say "Oh, I'm working late", but there wouldn't be money to show he was working late. I knew there was something, but I couldn't prove anything. It was a horrible, horrible time for me. I was hoping and praying for answers. I needed to know what was really going on in my life.

BRIAN: It was a situation of desire that I had created and I didn't think of the consequences at the time. I just thought I've already gone this far, I might as well keep going.

Brian's wife has no idea he is spending more than 20 hours a week at a local strip club.

BRIAN: One night, a dancer named Aries came over and approached me. We flirted back and forth, she told me that she was taking me home that night. I couldn't control myself, and so I agreed. Sarah was classy, she was the great mother, the great wife. When you disappear into a fantasy world, you've gotta find a person that seems dirty and wrong to do that with, and that's what Aries was. She was taboo, she was a bad girl. Somebody that it's ok to get dirty and wrong with. I had gone over to her house. I was like a druggie about to take a hit, I didn't care about anything else. This is what I wanted, and I was going to do it. Afterwards, I remember thinking "How did it get to this point?" All the initial emotions were gone, all the justifications of what I was doing beforehand were gone, and now I'm left with "what did I just do?". I didn't want to do it again. I was thinking I made a mistake and now I needed to stop. But she wanted to continue the relationship, and it excited me, and I started agreeing to it, and it turned into an affair.

Over the next six weeks, Brian repeatedly tells Sarah he is working late. He is spending his evenings with Aries.

SARAH: I didn't know what to say about my marriage, I didn't have one. My husband was gone. He was just...gone.

BRIAN: She would question where that time was spend.

SARAH: I started accusing him of cheating. He would just be adamant, "there is no way I would ever cheat and how could you accuse me of that?"

74 percent of men say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught.

BRIAN: The affair was all about sex. We didn't have a real emotional connection, she wasn't special to me. But there was a point where Aries turned more emotional towards me. Her solution was that I get divorced and spend more time with her. Then she told me that she was gonna call my wife and tell her about it. I didn't know how to react, that wasn't what I was looking for from her. I wanted to get out, I wanted to be done with it, and she wanted to draw me back in. I was just worried about how do I keep Sarah from finding out.

The next day, Sarah gets an unexpected phone call.

SARAH: We loaded the kids in the car, and my cell phone rang. I looked at the number on the screen of the phone, and I didn't recognize it, and he got a little bit strange.

BRIAN: It was the woman I was having an affair with. My initial reaction was to lie about it.

SARAH: I held it to my ear, and my hand was shaking. He kept trying to take the phone. Not violently, just "please, please, please give me the phone." I said no. I heard a woman's voice and she told me that she had been having an affair with my husband for the past six weeks. I could not handle it. It broke my heart. It was the worst day of my entire life. I had told myself a long time before that I would never fight in front of my children. So we drove home.

BRIAN: I was very nervous. I didn't know what to expect, really.

SARAH: We got home, put the kids to bed... all hell broke loose. I screamed, and I cried. And I asked a lot of questions.

BRIAN: She wanted to get it all out, she wanted to know everything. And I was of course afraid. I didn't want to lose Sarah, I didn't want to lose my kids. Eventually I just came out with everything. I told her about all the stuff I'd done. It just all came out. It was painful, but I didn't have anything to hide anymore.

SARAH: I was just shocked, overwhelmed. I just kept saying "I don't know who you are anymore. I don't know how I can live with a stranger." I remember saying "You have lots of places you can go. This is a place I have, and this problem will not come into this house any more."

Sarah has just found out her husband Brian is having an affair with a stripper.

BRIAN: Sarah kicked me out of the house. I was just completely miserable. I completely hit rock bottom. I was still working, but I was living out of my van for about three months.

SARAH: I had actually decided to leave Brian temporarily, maybe forever. I didn't want to talk to him.

BRIAN: There was no meaning to anything I was doing. I still loved Sarah and I loved the girls. I was losing completely my family and my wife. And I realized I needed to do whatever it took to get them back. And it's where I discovered the drive to make myself better. I called Sarah, I asked her to forgive me.

SARAH: He said "I don't have anybody, except for you and the kids. And I know I don't deserve to come home, but can I come home?" There was just something in me that said "I'm married to this man. I can't deny what it means to me, and I have to see if it can be saved." I said "do you want to change?" And he said "yes."

48 hours later, Brian and Sarah begin counseling.

DR WEISS: When Brian and Sarah showed up, their marriage was teetering. It was definitely on life support. But he actually has to realize he broke her heart.

BRIAN: Looking back now, I would say that I was being selfish. I wasn't fulfilling my duties as a husband and a father. What I was doing was affecting the people around me even though I didn't want to recognize it. I was afraid to recognize I had a problem.

DR WEISS: He was depending on that fantasy world more to deal with the real world. He went to strip clubs for emotional comfort. If he got stressed out here, he would go there.

SARAH: I thought "well if I could understand how he got there, I really believed we could take him out of it. I just was learning how someone who was so kind-hearted and so lovable, and so boyish, really, could be involved in this lifestyle.

DR WEISS: Brian was also diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. That's definitely a variable. Post-traumatic stress is something that happens in some kind of traumatic event. You shut down emotionally, you almost disconnect as if it didn't happen. Post-traumatic stress disorder doesn't cause someone to be unfaithful. They don't know how to deal with the trauma that has happened in their life.

BRIAN: I could talk openly about what I was struggling with and not feel guilty about it. I saw the possibility of changing and becoming better. I've gotta man up and start being less selfish and start being a better father.

SARAH: Everything was far from being good, but I think I saw a glimmer of hope there.

BRIAN: I had goal now, I had a mission. I was hoping that we would be able to rebuild our marriage.

Over the next two months, the couple continues to work on their relationship. Right before their fourth anniversary, Sarah invites Brian to move back in.

SARAH: I was not giving up on Brian. He knew he had a problem. Forgiveness was a very deliberate decision for me. My faith is the most important thing I have. I just said "Ok, I have to forgive the little, I have to forgive the big."

BRIAN: It was a major turning point. I remember having the desire to be a better person.

SARAH: I realized how much I love Brian.

Today, Sarah and Brian have been married for seven years, and have five children.

SARAH: Brian is a great father today. He's present physically, he's present emotionally.

BRIAN: Our marriage today isn't perfect. Something like this just doesn't go away overnight. But we both love each other, and we both have the desire to make it better.

SARAH: We're not perfect people, we're a real family. We have real times of disagreement, but we can talk about things that most couples can't talk about.

BRIAN: Accountability is huge. Having someone that you can trust them and you know they're not going to judge you, but they are willing to help you through whatever it is. Our relationship today is closer than it ever has been because we've got that connection that is only achieved through hard work. Sarah's ability to love me and forgive after all the stuff I've put her through is just amazing.

SARAH: People change. Anyone can change. There is no power greater than love.

[Guest Anonymous]

emeraldskull, you are awesome. Thanks for doing that.

As for -

SARAH: People change. Anyone can change. There is no power greater than love.

I can only respond with a clip from Buffy.

kzeiRZyKFSY

[ThisOlGirl]

Holy cow, EmeraldSKull! I salute you! :clap:

[emeraldskull]

He was shipped off overseas just a few weeks after they met, they got to know each other by writing when he was overseas(during which time SHE asked HIM to marry her), and got married just a few weeks after he came home. I honestly don't think either one of them were ready for marriage--she may have thought she was, but his actions tell me he definitely wasn't ready.

Yeah, they only knew each other face to face for like a month (before and after he was shipped out) before they were married. Most of their relationship was over snail mail. From knowing how the story ends, I would definitely say they should have at least waited 6 months to a year of face to face interaction before getting married. There are things you learn face to face you could never know through just letters.

ETA: Lissar you are welcome and thisolgirl Thanks! :-D

[liltwinstar]

Well, and it seems there's *way* more going on there than just a sex addiction - he has PTSD, they didn't really know each other before getting married, he was still transitioning to civilian life when he found himself married and the father of twins, etc etc. I'm not excusing his behavior as it's really, really bad. But, at the same time, his issues are a whole lot deeper than "omg, satan!!!!!!" and for that, I do feel for him, you know? It seems like they waited way too long to get help. I mean, if my husband started coming home at midnight every night, I would know something was up and there would be a come-to-Jesus moment. I wouldn't stick my head in the sand (ok, that's all hypothetical since I've never been through it myself). But he was pretty bad off by the time they got to counseling, etc. So if steps had been taken when she started noticing strange behavior, they may have had a different outcome. Plus, even if he had been resistant to counseling, if she had gone on her own, she would have had better tools, more information, etc etc.

[mirele]

I think sex addiction does exist, but it's very rare. I have a close friend who is most definitely a sex addict, though as with many addictions, it's not so much about the sex itself as about filling some sort of void (no pun intended). She's 25 and has had sex with at least 350 people. That's WAY beyond "promiscuity."

Or what was reported about convicted child abuser and polygamist Warren Jeffs last week: that he would masturbate 15 times a day. *blink* I asked my male friends, "Wouldn't you get rug burn from doing it so often?" (Yep.) Warren: definitely a sex addict!

[Guest Anonymous]

**Zombie Thread Alert!**

Gee, whoever would have thought that this marriage would continue to have problems? Besides anyone and everyone with a functioning brain, of course. Just as QueenMother predicted on page one of this thread, The Satan (thanks Tabby!) is after these people again. Or maybe "Papa Bear" was a douchebag, still is a douchebag, and will continue to be a douchebag in the future because people like that usually don't change. Or you know, SATAN.

My family needs prayer, y’all. I’m scared, and I trust, and I’m scared, and I trust. Hopefully you know that I mostly trust, but life is scary; He knows that. Life has barely given Papa Bear and I a chance, and we are struggling. I know I haven’t blogged anything resembling that, but I can only blog from my view and my faith. I’m not going to go into any details, but I can’t imagine building a relationship under these circumstances let alone healing one. I’m still crying out to God. I think something must be worth saving, here. Something is certainly worth attacking. I know that’s a bomb to drop after all these months, but I know I can count on your respect for my privacy and your prayers.

I like how she drops these hints about OMG terrible things are going on, and then wants respect for her privacy (IE: no one to question her.) Here's a thought - if you want respect for your privacy, don't bait people with your very dramatic marital issues on the internet.

Speaking of prayer, a few days ago Papa Bear was having trouble at work and I asked the kids to say a prayer for him. It was one of those moments where everyone was scattered and dirt covered, and I didn’t sit us down to pray (I just passed the word). About an hour later, I asked Cuddle Bug, “Did you say a prayer for daddy’s work day?â€

She nodded sheepishly that she had.

Oh, but I knew that she hadn’t!

I didn’t ask to catch her in a lie, I just knew she was lying once the words were loosed. And it made me think of…me.

This really bothered me, too. I don't like the idea of telling/forcing kids to pray about stuff. Sure, suggest it if prayer is something you do in your family, but making them do it is super gross in my opinion. If the kid wants to talk to God, they can. If they don't, then leave them alone about it for goodness' sake. Plus, how does she *know* the kid didn't pray? What if the kid actually prayed for her parents to grow brains and that's why she looked sheepish? I would be praying for some freaking stable adults in my life if I was one of her children.

In short, I am Lissar's total lack of surprise that this is not going well. This woman needs a clue like a fish needs water.

[meda]

You know, I was rooting for her when she moved away from the jerk, went back to school, and seemed to be making progress with her life. Then she reconciles with this jackass and now she is right back where she was before. WTF? I'll bet money she's pregnant again. How many times can he knock her up and then go screw someone else before she decides that she really doesn't want to live this way? Way to not be a role model for you daughters lady.

[tropaka]

I guess it's convenient to blame Satan for everything...easier than looking at PTSD or just assholishness or anything....

[Guest Anonymous]

Speaking of prayer, a few days ago Papa Bear was having trouble at work and I asked the kids to say a prayer for him. It was one of those moments where everyone was scattered and dirt covered, and I didn’t sit us down to pray (I just passed the word). About an hour later, I asked Cuddle Bug, “Did you say a prayer for daddy’s work day?â€

She nodded sheepishly that she had.

Oh, but I knew that she hadn’t!

I didn’t ask to catch her in a lie, I just knew she was lying once the words were loosed. And it made me think of…me.

Okay, the more I think about this the angrier I get. She made the kids pray for their dad to come home and he did. (Some blessing, that. :? ) Now she's pestering them to pray to fix his problems at work. I have a bad feeling that those kids are going to feel responsible for things that *don't* get magically fixed by their prayers. That's a really unfair burden to put on them. Deal with your own adult shit lady, your kids shouldn't have to worry about that stuff. It's not their problem. They didn't cause it and they can't fix it. The child in question is six years old, FFS.

[ceg045]

Poor kids. She's teaching her sons that it's okay to treat women the way her husband does (and to pin it all on "Satan," avoiding all responsibility), and her daughters that they should keep taking back a partner that mistreats them. Nice example, mom.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

Okay, the more I think about this the angrier I get. She made the kids pray for their dad to come home and he did. (Some blessing, that. :? ) Now she's pestering them to pray to fix his problems at work. I have a bad feeling that those kids are going to feel responsible for things that *don't* get magically fixed by their prayers. That's a really unfair burden to put on them. Deal with your own adult shit lady, your kids shouldn't have to worry about that stuff. It's not their problem. They didn't cause it and they can't fix it. The child in question is six years old, FFS.

It's even more screwed up because the kid could have been praying silently or something.

And even more screwed up than that is that if the parents are fighting or abusing each other in front of the kids they may very well NOT want the father to come home, yet are being forced to pray for it.

[acheronbeach]

Is it just me, or is she very "Bargain-basement McKmama?"

Calling her kids infantile nicknames. The "I'm gonna stay positive... even though there are VERY TURMOILED THINGS GOING ON that I won't tell you about right now" (AKA keep reading, bitches!). Calling herself "mama" and posting about all the martyrish things she does for Uber Sexay Husband.

[Beeks]

Is it just me, or is she very "Bargain-basement McKmama?"

Calling her kids infantile nicknames. The "I'm gonna stay positive... even though there are VERY TURMOILED THINGS GOING ON that I won't tell you about right now" (AKA keep reading, bitches!). Calling herself "mama" and posting about all the martyrish things she does for Uber Sexay Husband.

Aren't she and Mck besties?

[Georgiana]

That guy sounds like he has serious issues with women in general. In particular, he seems to subscribe to Madonna/Whore categorization. He either wants to put women on a super-high pedestal and view them as pure, perfect, chaste wives and mothers, or degrade them to the extreme and view them as base, lusty, deceptive seductresses. In reality, no woman is ever going to be as perfect as his madonna or as degenerate as his whore, and Twindom can't help to disappoint him because his expectations of her as a madonna figure are completely unrealistic.

Frankly, I'd be shocked if that man was able to have a stable, semi-close relationship with ANY woman, let alone a successful marriage. He seems completely unable to see women outside of this oversimplified boxes. You're either a saint or a stripper with this guy.

ETA: Twindom needs to GTFO before this guy messes up her daughters with his twisted categorizations.

[Clementine]

They got married in 2004, after knowing each other for like two months and had never lived together, had twins, he cheated on her with a stripper and after that they thought it was a good idea to have three more kids...? :shock:

Some people really seem to work hard to set themselves up for disaster.