Duggars, Duggars Everywhere - general discussion Part 4

[NoneandDoneinCali]

I think the monitored text messages are one more example of how out of touch these people are with the "real" world. In a normal family, who the hell has time to follow the (presumably frequent) text conversations of an adult child? Parents have jobs. They have hobbies and friends. They need alone time. They have other children to attend to (no that the Boob and J'chelle seem to notice they have 18 kids at home and that parenting even a fourth of that number is a full-time job in most households).

I also can't imagine trying to get to know someone on a deep level while under constant scrutiny. And I'm not even talking about sexy times - I remember one time going on a group "date" with a boy I liked and some friends, being chaperoned by my older cousin (and I SHOULD have been chaperoned - I was 13 or 14). I tried to present myself as this edgy girl and mentioned I liked a punk rock band, and my cousin loudly guffawed and said I was pronouncing it wrong (which I was, but still - humiliating beyond what he intended). Can you imagine the butt-inski-ness of J'chelle?

Ben: I love pizza. Maybe you can cook me pizza sometime.

Jessa (who actually hates pizza but likes Ben): Pizza is my favorite TOO!! I have a new recipe I want to try out!

J'chelle interjects: Oh, isn't that sweet? Jessa always HATED pizza until now. Remember how much you hate it, Jessa? And you are courting a boy and now you say you love it. Isn't this a GODLY match?!

Stupid example, but I can just think of all the little white lies we tell in the beginning of a relationship ("sure, I LOVE watching football!" "Oh, Indian food is my favorite too!" "No, I'm not scared of a little blood test!"), and trying to connect in front of an audience must be excruciating.

[lizziesmom]

I think at least one or two of them will break away. It might not be dramatic - probably more like becoming a moderate Christian who wears jeans and uses birth control, or deciding to vote Democrat, rather than becoming an exotic dancer or a militant atheist (not saying that's impossible, just less likely) - but with that many kids it's bound to happen. I'd watch the younger ones, the ones who were raised less strictly, who grew up on TV.

IF, one or two of them do I agree it will probably bee the younger ones. I do not have much hope for the four oldest girls, although I would be delighted if one of them surprised us. Not looking for Jessa to defy her parents in this courtship. My conclusion is, like many women before her, she is using marriage to escape home. Out of the frying pan into the fire unless she can influence Ben.

[Dandruff]

IF, one or two of them do I agree it will probably bee the younger ones. I do not have much hope for the four oldest girls, although I would be delighted if one of them surprised us. Not looking for Jessa to defy her parents in this courtship. My conclusion is, like many women before her, she is using marriage to escape home. Out of the frying pan into the fire unless she can influence Ben.

I suspect Jim Bob will influence Ben more than Jessa does. Ben is (presumably) marrying into a TV family where appearances count. My guess is that Jim Bob will help Ben get a job that's visible, pays well, and allows for travelling and filming.

[FloraDoraDolly]

This is where I really don't have a lot of experience with fundie-um.. If jinger (or any of the duggars) are to be "freed," what sort of series of events would need to happen? (I realize this is a huge question, which I'm sure this has probably been discussed before)

The best places to find those answers are probably the blogs written by young adults who have left the Quiverfull movement. Here are a few to get you started:

https://homeschoolersanonymous.wordpress.com/

https://rlstollar.wordpress.com/

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/

Also, I recommend googling "Homeschool apostates." There are MANY young people who grew up in Quiverfull families who got out. Will there ever be any Duggars among them? I don't know, but I don't see why not.

[Mela99]

I suspect Jim Bob will influence Ben more than Jessa does. Ben is (presumably) marrying into a TV family where appearances count. My guess is that Jim Bob will help Ben get a job that's visible, pays well, and allows for travelling and filming.

I assume he's going to get stuffed into the car lot, repairing windshields. Or he'll intern for Boob to be the next 'pastor'.

I really doubt he's going to be permitted to take Jessa back to his hometown.

[JenniferJuniper]

I assume he's going to get stuffed into the car lot, repairing windshields. Or he'll intern for Boob to be the next 'pastor'.

I really doubt he's going to be permitted to take Jessa back to his hometown.

I think he'll be allowed to take her back to his turf if only to keep up appearances regarding one of the basic tenets of Gothardism - Man lead; wife follow. Of course, he'll have to put up with all sorts of visitors on a regular basis, both small and tall. Good luck with that, kid.

I have a different opinion about the Duggar kids and Gothardism long term though; I think most of them will ditch it at some point in their adult lives, some sooner than others. Too much of the real world has leaked in and there are too many of them for Michelle and Boob to have effectively brainwashed them all. Alert Camps and Journeys alone aren't going to do it, and once the show ends and the first howler breaks away, they could all start falling like dominos. And they probably aren't close enough to their parents to feel that badly about it. I could see it starting with the twins as their bond appears stronger than any other within the family, possibly making it easier for them to break away.

[Cleopatra7]

IF, one or two of them do I agree it will probably bee the younger ones. I do not have much hope for the four oldest girls, although I would be delighted if one of them surprised us. Not looking for Jessa to defy her parents in this courtship. My conclusion is, like many women before her, she is using marriage to escape home. Out of the frying pan into the fire unless she can influence Ben.

If the howler boys do break away, I predict major problems for them, especially Jackson and James. From what we've seen on the show, these two act extremely immature for their ages; I can't believe that Jackson is almost ten and James will be thirteen in July, because they both seem to be stuck around five. With Jackson, I wonder if he's encouraged to act younger than he really is for the cameras. James is going to reach Gothard "manhood" soon, and I can't imagine what JB plans to do with him, since he seems to have the attention span of a goldfish. Since JB and Michelle are "encouraging" all the kids to stay in Tonitown, what kinds of jobs are going to be avalible for all these poorly educated boys with no self-control? JD and Joseph may be louts, but at least they know how to put in an honest day's work. If Jackson and James do leave the cult, I can see them getting involved with all kinds of transgressive behavior (e.g., drinking, drugs, promiscuity, getting in with the wrong crowds), because they've been sheltered so much and haven't been taught self-control.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

You are describing exactly what happens to the "Lost Boys" of FLDS. Take away the family ties and the religion and what do they have to support them? Not education that's for sure.

[FJismyheadship]

Perez Hilton says Jessa's engaged.

http://perezhilton.com/2014-02-20-19-ki ... DoNsz.dpbs

[lillybeth]

The best places to find those answers are probably the blogs written by young adults who have left the Quiverfull movement. Here are a few to get you started:

https://homeschoolersanonymous.wordpress.com/

https://rlstollar.wordpress.com/

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/

Also, I recommend googling "Homeschool apostates." There are MANY young people who grew up in Quiverfull families who got out. Will there ever be any Duggars among them? I don't know, but I don't see why not.

Thank you! I will definitely add these to my reading list! Sorry for being such a noob!

Perez Hilton says Jessa's engaged.

http://perezhilton.com/2014-02-20-19-ki ... DoNsz.dpbs

Hmmm ... but doesn't actually list any source other than the TLC press bits we've already heard before.. Wonder where he got that from?

[singsingsing]

Sounds like he's just assuming like everyone else. Most people don't understand what 'courtship' is, they interpret it as engagement because marriage is being talked about so much.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

I think it started with articles saying she won't kiss until her wedding day, and then I saw a few articles jumping to her being engaged. Radar online and daily mail. They're all going off the same press release we saw about the upcoming season. She may be engaged but it hasn't been released.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

I know it's just a gossipy article, but something about Perez's comment about the wedding night being 'extremely hot and seXXXy' is very unsettling. Both these kids are virgins. Jessa's probably been taught that satisfying her hubby's needs is her 'duty', and knows very little about her own body and how to experience/receive sexual pleasure. Ben probably won't last more than a minute, and won't know anything about how to please a woman. I was reading articles last night about purity culture and sex ed, and it all sounds so rapey to me.

[pega127]

I think several will break with the ultra-strict ATI. I'm sure a few will be able to see that they don't want to do to their children what was done to them. Some will hopefully see that having as many children as possible normally leads to a life of poverty. I don't see them going wild, but a few will probably have a lot fewer children and I think there will be some not homeschooling and probably some will end up going to a real church. It may be 10 or 20 years down the road though before they begin the breaks as the more free range kids grow up and the parents age.

I agree; as though younger kids grow, Michelle and JimBob will be even more over being parents and have only the howlers to raise the kids. Those younger kids will be running amuck for sure!

[pega127]

I know it's just a gossipy article, but something about Perez's comment about the wedding night being 'extremely hot and seXXXy' is very unsettling. Both these kids are virgins. Jessa's probably been taught that satisfying her hubby's needs is her 'duty', and knows very little about her own body and how to experience/receive sexual pleasure. Ben probably won't last more than a minute, and won't know anything about how to please a woman. I was reading articles last night about purity culture and sex ed, and it all sounds so rapey to me.

I can't believe gossipy news is so slow for Perez he reports on the Duggars! Of course, Ben has know Idea what he will be doing on the wedding night and Jessa will be left high and dry. I still think Jessa could do better that Ben; but maybe she has a bitchy personality that only some young, admired of Boob would marry.

[SolomonFundy]

I can't believe gossipy news is so slow for Perez he reports on the Duggars! Of course, Ben has know Idea what he will be doing on the wedding night and Jessa will be left high and dry. I still think Jessa could do better that Ben; but maybe she has a bitchy personality that only some young, admired of Boob would marry.

I do think that "dry" is the appropriate word to describe Jessa's future wedding night.

[Trynn]

Ouch :(

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Mrs. Holt posted some pics on her public instagram. We have a flashback friday 1800's theme birthday party with the Duggars:

And this is from today (looking stylish, J'slaves!)

[Flossie]

Someone needs to buy her a toaster oven and fill it with books on puberty for both boys and girls (Lynda Madaras & Area Madaras have a good selection). Then some basic sex manuals and a tube of KY gel) See if that gets past the purity censors.

[nellautumngirl]

Jana and Jill really are beautiful women. Jinger looks very pretty. Joy's smile looks like she's about to growl, "keeping sweet" maybe?

[Onomatopoetikon]

Oh man, I don't know how, but I'd never seen

before and now I can't stop giggling at them talking about milking the cucumber and rubbing it.

[RosyDaisy]

Never heard of milking a cucumber. But my grandmother takes sliced cucumbers and onions and pours apple cider vinegar with a pinch of salt and black pepper over them.

[FJismyheadship]

Never heard of milking a cucumber. But my grandmother takes sliced cucumbers and onions and pours apple cider vinegar with a pinch of salt and black pepper over them.

Is it good?

[Mela99]

Someone needs to buy her a toaster oven and fill it with books on puberty for both boys and girls (Lynda Madaras & Area Madaras have a good selection). Then some basic sex manuals and a tube of KY gel) See if that gets past the purity censors.

I'm sure the presents have to go through one of the parents. Or they have one of those gift openings and Boob will take whatever he finds inappropriate.

[guidedbybobafett]

Unlike many of you I don't hold out much hope that any Duggar will do anything mom and dad would not approve of. Their entire lifestyle is one of obedience, indoctrination, and the ATI way of life. Individualism is discouraged for the most part. You do not question authority and intellectual curiosity is certainly not a priority. The head ships and the Bible have all the answers. ALERT and Journeys of the Heart may be concentrated training but it's just a furtherance of the whole package of cultism or extremism that these families undergo.

I agree for the most part, but I think that the simple fact that there's so many of them means at least one will probably leave. We've seen it in much smaller families, so I can't imagine all the Duggar kids are going to stick to the company line forever.