Abigail Refuses To See the Obvious

[lilwriter85]

I agree she is working from home--but after years of posts about how being a mother and wife are her only vocations and casting aspersions at women who work wage-earning jobs, it's still really hypocritical. Yeah, where on earth did this agency come from? This isn't like babysitting a neighborhood kid that just sort of happens one day. A couple months ago we were getting posts about how she couldn't keep up with the housework and schooling for all five kids (not judging her there, it does seem like a massive undertaking). Now she thinks she is going to run a business too? In addition to writing her book and running?

Those poor kids were already not being educated, now they're practically feral.

I just can't believe the 180 degree turns she takes every few weeks. I try to be understanding that everyone is different and some are just more spontaneous than others, but something is really wrong here.

This. I sometimes get bipolar vibes from Abigail.

[anjulibai]

I get bipolar vibes from Abigail, too.

I wish she'd send her kids to a Catholic school. They could get such a wonderful education. She doesn't have to work outside the home, either, she could still be a SAHM. She could volunteer at the school.

I just don't get why she homeschools when she obviously has no interest in it and wants to do other things.

BTW, I get the feeling she reads here. Notice she described her made over living room as "selfish". So, either she's reading our criticism (who else talks would be talking about Abigail but us?) or someone IRL said something to her.

[lilwriter85]

I get bipolar vibes from Abigail, too.

I wish she'd send her kids to a Catholic school. They could get such a wonderful education. She doesn't have to work outside the home, either, she could still be a SAHM. She could volunteer at the school.

I just don't get why she homeschools when she obviously has no interest in it and wants to do other things.

BTW, I get the feeling she reads here. Notice she described her made over living room as "selfish". So, either she's reading our criticism (who else talks would be talking about Abigail but us?) or someone IRL said something to her.

I think she has been on to us for awhile. She might have figured it out when she posted that blog entry trashing her parents for putting her in daycare. But, it wasn't only FJers who slammed her for that, some of her fellow Catholic bloggers and readers also slammed her. Someone who claims to know her or one of her friends posted here. I can't remember which thread it was and I don't think that person ever posted again.

I also think putting those kids in a Catholic school or even a public one would be better. I don't think Abigail and her husband have the cash for Catholic school tuition and maybe her father would refuse to help out there. Almost ten years ago, I stumbled onto the blog of a very conservative Catholic women living in Kentucky. She had 11 kids and she homeschooled. Her main reason was not having the money for Catholic school. That women seemed to do a decent job of homeschooling her kids. I read her blog for several months before it disappeared.

[singsingsing]

I'm not sure that Abigail knows about this forum. I can't help but feel like if she found it she would flip out completely and we'd get a whole series of blog posts about scorn etc.

[GeoBQn]

I think the Catholic bloggers aren't as aware of FJ as the VF and ATI bloggers.

[nausicaa]

I'm not sure that Abigail knows about this forum. I can't help but feel like if she found it she would flip out completely and we'd get a whole series of blog posts about scorn etc.

Damn right. Abigail will take advantage of any opportunity to show how she is persecuted. I wouldn't be surprised if she even showed up here if she found out about us, for a long, non-linear debate ending with the most epic of flounces. :pray:

[lilwriter85]

Damn right. Abigail will take advantage of any opportunity to show how she is persecuted. I wouldn't be surprised if she even showed up here if she found out about us, for a long, non-linear debate ending with the most epic of flounces. :pray:

If she doesn't know about FJ and found out of course she would flip a bit. She likes being a Super Catholic and I know most of the Catholic FJers here, are annoyed with her. I was raised Catholic and I can see why the currently practicing Catholic FJers are annoyed with her. The way she talks about the RC is too weird at times and the whole third order Carmelite thing is basically her trying to one up other Catholics.

[singsingsing]

Abigail can't handle it if she imagines that someone looks at her sideways in the grocery store. I think her brain (and blog) would explode if she found FJ.

[luv2run]

I'm the one who knows, or knew, Abigail and her family IRL.

We started Formation together in Carmel back in 2009...somewhere around there. We were in the same OCDS Community for a few years. She and her husband stopped coming for awhile, so I have no idea where they are now. Either Community or Formation wise. If they are where I am, they will be making their Final Promise this fall (I also went to another community because a new one was founded closer to my house).

My biggest issue with Abigail is you cannot have a conversation with her. I think she reads here because of me. I'm not sure how she found it, because I don't post here much (I have six kids, one with autism and another with special needs, and I home school my older three..we have a 10 month old baby also). I upset her somehow, but I have no idea how. I tried to make amends by sending her a $50 gift card when she was pregnant last time to help if she was feeling too sick to cook, or whatever it could help with. I never heard anything, and someone told me that upset her more. So, I left it alone. I won't play into games with someone who won't at least tell me what it is I've done to upset them. If you're mad, tell me. Let's talk about it. Playing passive aggressive isn't my thing. I grew up with it, and I won't enable it now with others.

I think Abigail wants to be a good mom and the best Catholic and Carmelite she can be. I don't really agree with how she goes about it, but I'm far from perfect myself so I can't judge her. She's difficult to help, because she wants to be helped her way, and her way only. Like when she was delivering one of her kids and a friend and I offered to help, but she said no...but then complained on her blog that she had no help. It didn't make sense. That was a long time ago so I don't remember the details.

I have a feeling she's covering a lot of pain in losing her last baby by trying to keep herself busy. Miscarriage is very hard.

I pray for her that she finds some peace. She seems to really need it.

[luv2run]

And I will say when I found out she was upset with me, it ticked me off. I won't lie. I had the same drama going on with my family (who I am estranged from now because they are very co dependant and I can't go there anymore). I said something here on this forum about how she irritated me because of it. If she read that, it could have upset her.

Anyway, I don't know...I'm too busy with my own kids and home schooling to really give time and attention to what I consider drama. I have noticed a very startling trend within the home school Catholic communities, Catholic mothers in particular, of a fear and inclusion mentality, and also Catholic women are some of the most judgmental and cruel women I know. Its like high school all over again..you have the popular Catholic mom bloggers of large families who everyone adores. They write books, and other Catholic moms idolize them and want to be like them. You have to have lots of kids, be super Catholic all the time, be super pro life, and offer it all to God. Never acknowledging the human and weak side. And if you do acknowledge it, it's only to bring more attention to yourself. Which is twisted.

I honestly don't know how home schooling moms have time to blog. Schooling my older three takes up all my time.

[Milka]

Anyway, I don't know...I'm too busy with my own kids and home schooling to really give time and attention to what I consider drama. I have noticed a very startling trend within the home school Catholic communities, Catholic mothers in particular, of a fear and inclusion mentality, and also Catholic women are some of the most judgmental and cruel women I know. Its like high school all over again..you have the popular Catholic mom bloggers of large families who everyone adores. They write books, and other Catholic moms idolize them and want to be like them. You have to have lots of kids, be super Catholic all the time, be super pro life, and offer it all to God. Never acknowledging the human and weak side. And if you do acknowledge it, it's only to bring more attention to yourself. Which is twisted.

I honestly don't know how home schooling moms have time to blog. Schooling my older three takes up all my time.

All of this - so true! Lately, the less I deal with other Catholic homeschooling mothers (and their blogs!), the more I enjoy being a Catholic homeschooling mother. Sad, but it's a fact.

[singsingsing]

She's still on one of her sprees. The latest thing to offend her was some book review that claimed parenting was no fun, but she can't help going off on weird tangents either:

The point is that we Catholics are empathic, but we're not complacent! Good sex and marriage go together. We hot women were made for love--and that includes sex when we get married.

"We hot women were made for love" - wtf is this woman's problem?! I'm worried that she's given up her soppy whining about Mommy Mary and the fun and cool saints and neato God, and she's going to start rambling about the totally rad clitoris and how groovy her husband's penis is.

[Stephanie66]

She's manic again.

[GeoBQn]

St. Paul is from the same Jewish family tree as my husband--The Benjamin Clan. I tell my kids, "Whenever you read a Letter from St. Paul, don't think of him as some dusty guy from ancient Palestine. He's our relative. His advice is always fresh and current. Read his words like they are an email from a beloved uncle!"

Her husband being "related" to Paul by being in the same tribe is like me being "related" to Aaron because one of my great-great-great-grandfathers was a Cohen. It was SO far in the past and SO many people have the same type of relation that it has absolutely no meaning.

And I fear the possibility of Abigail somehow deciding that incorporating Fake Jew rituals into her life will make her a "more authentic Catholic." Last year during Passover, she hosted a Christian Seder for her son's Boy Scout group.

[Stephanie66]

WTF is a "Christian Seder"? Not to derail this thread, but a guy I know from HS is a "Messianic Jew" rabbi. Of course, he did not go to rabbinical school. I am not even sure he has a four-year degree. He does, however, have chutzpah. I call him "pretend Jew" behind his back, because I am an asshole like that.

It pisses him off to no end that I, a non-practicing Jew, have right of return while he does not. Them's the breaks.

[nausicaa]

Her husband being "related" to Paul by being in the same tribe is like me being "related" to Aaron because one of my great-great-great-grandfathers was a Cohen. It was SO far in the past and SO many people have the same type of relation that it has absolutely no meaning.

And I fear the possibility of Abigail somehow deciding that incorporating Fake Jew rituals into her life will make her a "more authentic Catholic." Last year during Passover, she hosted a Christian Seder for her son's Boy Scout group.

I can completely see this happening. Actually that would be a fun game--take bets on what Abigail's next obsession will be.

[Stephanie66]

I wonder if Abigail's girls do girl scouts? I have gotten some whining from the right about girl scouts being evil because of something about Planned Parenthood. (I skim these.) Also, the Boy Scouts now accept teh gays.

[anjulibai]

Is her husband from a Jewish background? Or does she just think that having the last name Benjamin means his family used to be just?

[nausicaa]

I wonder if Abigail's girls do girl scouts? I have gotten some whining from the right about girl scouts being evil because of something about Planned Parenthood. (I skim these.) Also, the Boy Scouts now accept teh gays.

There are some alternative scouting organizations specifically for conservative Catholics, such as Squires and American Heritage Girls. If either of these groups are active near Abigail I'm sure we'll hear about them. However I remember hearing her mention awhile ago that her diocese was small and her church not very active? Or was that just Abigail's interpretation of it?

[GeoBQn]

Abigail's girls are in Girl Scouts, but not without a lot of moral quandaries from Abigail.

abigails-alcove.blogspot.com/2012/10/joining-girl-scouts.html

[Stephanie66]

Abigail's girls are in Girl Scouts, but not without a lot of moral quandaries from Abigail.

abigails-alcove.blogspot.com/2012/10/joining-girl-scouts.html

I am glad her kids are in Scouts. I haven't been able to find any connection (other than what people say) between the Girl Scouts and Planned Parenthood. It looks like the chapters have some independence as to what they do, so some did something with PP.

I knew about the cookiecott or whatever, so I bought three boxes from the girls and their moms outside of Kroger's. Now I have to hide them.

[Katydid]

I think the Catholic bloggers aren't as aware of FJ as the VF and ATI bloggers.

The Catholic homeschoolers that I know personally tend, as a rule, to be very, very concerned with the quality of their children's education. I am *not* saying that other people who homeschool aren't, but there appears to be very little focus on education in the ATI and VF world. In this way, Abigail is absolutely an outlier from mainstream Catholic HSers in this way.

On a different note from that, Abigail pisses me off because she doesn't seem to acknowledge that the Catholic Church allows the spacing of children if there are serious reasons to. Avoiding poverty absolutely falls under this. GAH.