Abigail Refuses To See the Obvious

[GeoBQn]

Abigail watches a video from NYTimes.com about families in poverty. She refuses to believe that having too many kids can cause poverty, even when the mother and children in the video say "My mother has too many kids."

abigails-alcove.blogspot.com/2014/01/poverty-equals-too-many-kids.html

[Stephanie66]

She has no fucking clue what she is talking about. Seriously.

ETA: The video has a 15-year-old pregnant girl who is the oldest of seven kids who lives in pretty much abject poverty. (Mom has no teeth, for example) The mom looks much older than she probably is.

How she can look at that and even compare herself to it is just ignorant. The mom has too many kids and not enough money. If she only had one or two, they would not be in that situation. It is not hard to figure out.

[anjulibai]

She had that up a little bit ago and then took it down. I wonder why she reposted it.

[dilannsmom]

Abigail has no true understanding of poverty. She likes to think that she lives in poverty, which is not true. Therefore, whenever somebody else mentions living in poverty she assumes that they are in poverty like she is--which is not at all. She cannot understand/empathize with people who face abject poverty because, well, she is a poor little Carmelite and she has a warm house, decent clothes, plenty of food and all of her teeth.

[NoneandDoneinCali]

First of all, when I saw the thread title, my first thought was "slow news day in Fundie-land, eh?" Haha.

Abigail is a dumb arse, for a variety of reasons, including the fact that VOLUNTARILY living in poverty (which she doesn't), and knowing you have a safety net, is =/= to really, truly living in poverty. I'm poor as F*CK right now, but, as my rent is $300/month and owed to family, there is no threat of eviction looming if I pay late (thank gawd). Contrast this to a time when, estranged from family, my bf at the time and I lost our jobs and received a real eviction notice for a real lease and were out of state away from friends/loved ones with nowhere to go. Guess which situation kept me up at night.

I hate read Abigail sometimes. I don't think I'll be able to do it today without getting stabby. None are so blind as those who will not see.

[Stephanie66]

Abject poverty means:

No credit card from daddy.

No trips or vacations, ever.

No American Girl dolls.

No new clothes.

No food and no option to buy food until payday/food stamps.

No "stay at home mom"

No house that you own

No air conditioning

No new appliances, ever

Laudromat on your day off

Cars that break down, if you even have one

I am sure others can add to this. She is in Missouri, which means she doesn't even have a decent safety net.

They absolutely, positively do not have the time to dwell on an early miscarriage and pay for a stone. There is no time, because missing work means losing money.

I don't normally hate-read her, but today? I am just so pissed off. Show some compassion, bitch.

[lilwriter85]

Abigail is an idiot to not accept that too many kids can cause poverty. I honestly hope Sarah manages to get out of poverty later on. I do think Abigail is horrible at managing money. She has resources that some fundies don't have. Abigail's parents are upper middle class and they are always throwing her extra safety nets like credit cards and other things.

[Savoring Samsara]

She is in West Virginia, not Missouri - but the point absolutely stands all the same. Shaking my head so much.

[Stephanie66]

The person in the NYT video was from Missouri. Or maybe Kansas. KC Metro area. (I assumed Missouri, I don't know that.) Same thing as WV or any other red state. Low unemployment compensation, no expanded Medicaid, just SOL.

And yes, I do hope Sarah can get it together, but she is 15 and pregnant. She will have the baby before she turns 16. She has no real support system, as her mom is overwhelmed. And she is in a red state. She will be doing well to finish high school.

[nausicaa]

Abigail has no true understanding of poverty. She likes to think that she lives in poverty, which is not true. Therefore, whenever somebody else mentions living in poverty she assumes that they are in poverty like she is--which is not at all. She cannot understand/empathize with people who face abject poverty because, well, she is a poor little Carmelite and she has a warm house, decent clothes, plenty of food and all of her teeth.

Yes, one of the many problems with Abigail's poverty schtick is that she thinks she can empathize with others living in real poverty, not realizing that they aren't facing a day without food because they splurged at Hobby Lobby or threw out their working fridge. Their kids don't go without new clothes and toys for a few months until Grandpa sends his credit card and everyone gets a new Christmas outfit and some American Girl dolls. It allows her to simpllify poverty and be dismissive of the struggles of others.

I want a fundie Friday with Abigail so bad.

[Koala]

Yes, true poverty has no safety net. Abigail will never truly know the crushing weight of poverty because her father will never allow it to get close enough to touch her. I don't blame him- I would do what I had to do to make sure my children an grandchildren didn't go without. I don't begrudge Abigail her safety net...my husband and I have a couple too. BUT she needs to stfu about poverty. She's an insult to those who don't have the luxury of running home.

[Brightonbelle]

What is SOL? Non-American here.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

What is SOL? Non-American here.

If you are SOL, you are Shit Out of Luck.

[bbtlover]

SOL-shit out of luck

[lilwriter85]

Yes, true poverty has no safety net. Abigail will never truly know the crushing weight of poverty because her father will never allow it to get close enough to touch her. I don't blame him- I would do what I had to do to make sure my children an grandchildren didn't go without. I don't begrudge Abigail her safety net...my husband and I have a couple too. BUT she needs to stfu about poverty. She's an insult to those who don't have the luxury of running home.

I also don't blame Abigail's father and I don't begrudge her having safety nets. I have an aunt and cousin who are very similar to Abigail and her parents. My cousin has two sons who are both adults now. She was never married to the father of her sons and they broke up when the younger son was 3. The sons' father was good about paying child support, but my cousin was really bad at managing money. My aunt was her constant safety net and my uncle who is my cousin's stepfather was annoyed with my cousin, but he was ok with my aunt giving my cousin money all the time because he said didn't want his step grandchildren to starve or go without certain things.

[singsingsing]

So... she started an advertising agency. I'm just... confused. She went from preaching the virtues of being a stay at home full time mom to, "New careers at age 40 are awesome!" Wonder how much of her own (her husband's/her father's) money she's pouring into this brilliant venture...

[Stephanie66]

Who's teaching her kids?

[anjulibai]

So... she started an advertising agency. I'm just... confused. She went from preaching the virtues of being a stay at home full time mom to, "New careers at age 40 are awesome!" Wonder how much of her own (her husband's/her father's) money she's pouring into this brilliant venture...

She's not even 40. She's just turned 39. She's described herself as 40 several times now. I realize it's less than a year, but still. I'm 29 next month - I haven't been 30 for the last year.

[GeoBQn]

What happened to her writing a book?

[lilwriter85]

So... she started an advertising agency. I'm just... confused. She went from preaching the virtues of being a stay at home full time mom to, "New careers at age 40 are awesome!" Wonder how much of her own (her husband's/her father's) money she's pouring into this brilliant venture...

I bet she is using her dad's money for this. I'm confused by the advertising agency thing and I noticed that she mentioned having a photographer who wasn't able to make it to the first assignment. Not to be cruel, but I don't see this venture lasting too long.

[nausicaa]

Abigail, you went to Smith. You really should know that "advertising agency" in the general is not capitalized.

I had to focus on that piece of minutaie because the rest of her announcements about starting a company out of nowhere and proudly bringing her daughters to work after years of waxing poetic about exclusive stay-at-home momhood is more than my brain can process right now.

Also, your daughter's cupcake photo is significantly better than yours. Perhaps rethink your career path.

[singsingsing]

I'm sure she's working out of her home and not an office, but still. Running an advertising agency would take significant time and energy away from running her household. Who's going to watch her kids when she has to go meet with a client? How is she going to homeschool consistently? Cook and clean? And is an advertising agency a particularly Carmelite pursuit? She seemed so overwhelmed by everything all the time, just barely holding on, so her solution is to start her own business?

I don't think she has any idea what running a business actually entails. I can't see this lasting long. Hopefully she won't bankrupt her family.

[nausicaa]

I'm sure she's working out of her home and not an office, but still. Running an advertising agency would take significant time and energy away from running her household. Who's going to watch her kids when she has to go meet with a client? How is she going to homeschool consistently? Cook and clean? And is an advertising agency a particularly Carmelite pursuit? She seemed so overwhelmed by everything all the time, just barely holding on, so her solution is to start her own business?

I don't think she has any idea what running a business actually entails. I can't see this lasting long. Hopefully she won't bankrupt her family.

I agree she is working from home--but after years of posts about how being a mother and wife are her only vocations and casting aspersions at women who work wage-earning jobs, it's still really hypocritical. Yeah, where on earth did this agency come from? This isn't like babysitting a neighborhood kid that just sort of happens one day. A couple months ago we were getting posts about how she couldn't keep up with the housework and schooling for all five kids (not judging her there, it does seem like a massive undertaking). Now she thinks she is going to run a business too? In addition to writing her book and running?

Those poor kids were already not being educated, now they're practically feral.

I just can't believe the 180 degree turns she takes every few weeks. I try to be understanding that everyone is different and some are just more spontaneous than others, but something is really wrong here.

[GeoBQn]

Abigail seems to think that an "advertising agency" is just taking pretty pictures. There are so many more elements--the visuals, the words, winning over clients, getting ads into media. Even a talented person could probably only do one or two of those things well. Abigail has absolutely no chance.

[sparkles]

Her husband is a graphic designer, right? So am I and while I've created many an ad, including ones that have run in national publications, and art-directed and in some cases written copy for many of them as well, I'd never, ever think that I had the skills to set myself up as an ad agency. As GeoBQn says, there's so much more to it that just the copywriting and design. You really need a head for it in order to be successful and that head needs to be somewhere other than in the clouds or up your own ass.