Rebecca Eleventy: What about HER life?

[Closed Womb]

I have kind of a special fascination with Rebecca Eleventy, although I am not familiar with her comments on the Maxwell blogs, only with her own blog. Anyway, she's pretty quiet these days, but I noticed something when I was poking around the last few entries: very few things are about her. She shows other people's babies, ad nauseam, other people's weddings, events that are not about her (singing groups, parties for -- of course -- other people's kids, etc.) Sure, we got to see what she got for Christmas (I don't know if my heart breaks that she got a tin of butter cookies from her mom or if I'm impressed by their appreciation over the simplest things) and we get a run down of her birthday every year, but, especially lately, so few of it is about HER.

Now, the weird part is that I get a little ragey over the blogs that are all about someone -- Raquel's clothes and how God meets her every whim and those of that ilk.

But, I don't know, shouldn't a young woman have something going on in her life that she can talk about? I'm kind of sad that her blog is (seemingly) all about highlighting other people's blessings (weddings, babies, etc.)

hiswayserves-hiswayserves.blogspot.com/

[singsingsing]

She seems like a sweet person. I was thinking about the argument in the other thread as to whether she's good looking or not. I definitely fell on the side of 'not', but I hadn't looked at her blog in ages. I went back today, and she's much prettier than I remembered. She looks clean/fresh and put together, she has clear skin and really lovely hair. She is a larger girl and has strong features, but she's not significantly overweight (most definitely not 'borderline obese' as someone suggested lol). She's definitely not ugly. She would actually be even more attractive if she updated her wardrobe and used a bit of makeup (think Michael Bates), but that's superficial and unnecessary unless she wants to go that route. She seems warm and genuine, and I don't think she'll have trouble getting married if that's what she wants.

She may be kind of vicariously living through other people's marriages and babies right now. I hope she feels like she has the freedom to be and do what she wants regardless.

[nausicaa]

She seems like a sweet person. I was thinking about the argument in the other thread as to whether she's good looking or not. I definitely fell on the side of 'not', but I hadn't looked at her blog in ages. I went back today, and she's much prettier than I remembered. She looks clean/fresh and put together, she has clear skin and really lovely hair. She is a larger girl and has strong features, but she's not significantly overweight (most definitely not 'borderline obese' as someone suggested lol). She's definitely not ugly. She would actually be even more attractive if she updated her wardrobe and used a bit of makeup (think Michael Bates), but that's superficial and unnecessary unless she wants to go that route. She seems warm and genuine, and I don't think she'll have trouble getting married if that's what she wants.

She may be kind of vicariously living through other people's marriages and babies right now. I hope she feels like she has the freedom to be and do what she wants regardless.

I have a feeling that Rebecca is the sort of person who looks better in real life (I speak as a fellow sufferer of pallid skin/under eye circles). She seems kind, patient, generous, caring, likes to cook, good with kids. I think she will find someone, it just won't be fundie royalty. She seems to live in a conservative, rural area, and they do socialize, so she'll probably find a local country guy with similar goals who really likes a curvy girl with some baking skils.

I read a blog by two girls who live in a very rural area in the South. They are dresses only, head covering, SAHDs who homechurch. I used to really worry about them finding someone (I'm always torn on these SAHDs, I feel sad at the thought of them being alone, but also don't want them to add more numbers to the dominionist movement.) Anyway, out of the blue one day, one of the daughters announces that she is engaged to a guy who works at a local dairy farm. He's not exactly a looker, he only wears overalls, hunts and skins his own meat, and loves Jesus. They were drawn to each other because both want to live on a farm, have a bunch of kids, and put Jesus at the center of everything. I think something like this will happen for Rebecca and her sister.

[guidedbybobafett]

I think that when you're skirting the periphery of a movement that places a heavy premium on a specific look for the women involved, you either have to get in line or risk being looked at as an outsider.

Rebecca hasn't embraced the appearance required of young SAHD's, or perhaps she has tried and failed. But for all their talk of modesty and that nonsense, those girls are done up to the nines. If you look at the Botkins, Bontragers, Bates' etc. all those girls are well-dressed, their hair is done, and their makeup is perfectly understated but very much in place.

I think if Rebecca did half of what those girls are doing it would be difficult to tell her apart, especially considering that the Duggar girls have literally no idea how to apply makeup properly. I'm not saying she should have to, but it's something that sets her apart.

[thekate]

I think that when you're skirting the periphery of a movement that places a heavy premium on a specific look for the women involved, you either have to get in line or risk being looked at as an outsider.

Rebecca hasn't embraced the appearance required of young SAHD's, or perhaps she has tried and failed. But for all their talk of modesty and that nonsense, those girls are done up to the nines. If you look at the Botkins, Bontragers, Bates' etc. all those girls are well-dressed, their hair is done, and their makeup is perfectly understated but very much in place.

I think if Rebecca did half of what those girls are doing it would be difficult to tell her apart, especially considering that the Duggar girls have literally no idea how to apply makeup properly. I'm not saying she should have to, but it's something that sets her apart.

It hasn't done the Botkins any good in attracting husbands.

Also, these are the people who put themselves out there for public consumption and their efforts can't 100% be attributed to the masses, similar to Hollywood women and regular women in the secular world.

[Pretzel]

Good grief, make-up and nicer clothes isn't what makes someone pretty. Being pretty is also not the number one goal one should have. We know that most fundies are totally superficial and snobistic to the brim. Rebecca is neither and that's what I like about her. She's also not a 'curvy girl with some baking skills'. There's quite a bit more she has to offer.

I'm running the risk of sounding cheesy here but she really seems to have a good heart and the ability to genuinely love her family. What she looks like doesn't define her and I despise the idea that she should do something that she obviously doesn't want to, just to please other people's eyes. It's not like she doesn't know that there's make-up available or more fashionable clothes. These items just don't make a priority in her life and that's perfectly fine.

If there's one fundie girl I wish will be happy and God will give her the best husband she can possibly get, it's Rebecca.

[nausicaa]

Good grief, make-up and nicer clothes isn't what makes someone pretty. Being pretty is also not the number one goal one should have. We know that most fundies are totally superficial and snobistic to the brim. Rebecca is neither and that's what I like about her. She's also not a 'curvy girl with some baking skills'. There's quite a bit more she has to offer.

I'm running the risk of sounding cheesy here but she really seems to have a good heart and the ability to genuinely love her family. What she looks like doesn't define her and I despise the idea that she should do something that she obviously doesn't want to, just to please other people's eyes. It's not like she doesn't know that there's make-up available or more fashionable clothes. These items just don't make a priority in her life and that's perfectly fine.

If there's one fundie girl I wish will be happy and God will give her the best husband she can possibly get, it's Rebecca.

I didn't reduce her to only "a curvy girl with some baking skills." I preceded that with "She seems kind, patient, generous, caring, likes to cook, good with kids." I was commenting on the fact that, while she may not resemble a Bates or a Botkin, there are many men who find a women with her type of appearance and build attractive (and while yes, ideally we shouldn't factor attractiveness into our relationship decisions, some level of attraction is normally necessary to form a romantic relationship with someone). There are also men who want to be with a woman who likes more domestic things, like baking, homekeeping, and childcare. I was sayig that, for those men, Rebecca would be quite the catch.

[salex]

She seems like a sweet person. I was thinking about the argument in the other thread as to whether she's good looking or not. I definitely fell on the side of 'not', but I hadn't looked at her blog in ages. I went back today, and she's much prettier than I remembered. She looks clean/fresh and put together, she has clear skin and really lovely hair. She is a larger girl and has strong features, but she's not significantly overweight (most definitely not 'borderline obese' as someone suggested lol). She's definitely not ugly. She would actually be even more attractive if she updated her wardrobe and used a bit of makeup (think Michael Bates), but that's superficial and unnecessary unless she wants to go that route. She seems warm and genuine, and I don't think she'll have trouble getting married if that's what she wants.

She may be kind of vicariously living through other people's marriages and babies right now. I hope she feels like she has the freedom to be and do what she wants regardless.

I'm not 100 percent sure she is living vicariously though others babies and weddings, though she maybe. In her circle, these are the parties she goes to-- birthday parties and Christmas parties and weddings--this is a big part of her social life. She's not taking a ton of selfies (and whose going to criticize anyone for not falling into that). I have a half assed attempt at a blog that detailed my life. It included someone else's wedding, and a lot of the parties, events and restaurants/trips I take, from my point of view. Her party pictures and my party stories are more or less the same, just different lifestyles and lives. She may also avoid the selfies because she knows people will chime in on her looks and grooming. Heaven knows that is why I don't post much of me online(eleventy!)

It seems she more or less fits with a lot of the people she runs with, though many are likely family. I am curious how old she is and what size town she lives in.

[Seven Severn]

...It seems she more or less fits with a lot of the people she runs with, though many are likely family. I am curious how old she is and what size town she lives in.

She lives in a very small town (less than 5,000 people) not far from St. Louis and I think she's 23-ish.

[salex]

She lives in a very small town (less than 5,000 people) not far from St. Louis and I think she's 23-ish.

Thanks, 23 is older than I was thinking--but that is an age people may go to a lot of weddings and showers Fine... now I'm going to have to go read her blog.

[DefraudedByPlaid]

They seem to socialize with a decent number of pants-wearing girls and women, with nary a judgmental mention of anything being out of the ordinary. That's a lot more than we can say about many of the families talked about on FJ.

[Palimpsest]

Rebecca, inspite of the eleventies!!!!1111!!!!, is a sweet young lady. Brainwashed but sweet. She may not be "conventionally pretty" but she is rather obviously nice. That is all that should matter.

I hope she has recovered from her temporary fixation on the Maxwells. Although some of those Maxwell "boys" have defrauding eyes and dimples, Rebecca is way too good for robotic Maxhell.

As with all these SAHDs Rebecca has limited opportunities to demonstrate her nice personality and find a partner. I do hope she finds someone, not quite as brainwashed as she is, who can appreciate her soon.

[Jezebel]

IIRC, Mrs. Eleventy isn't in the best health. She and her husband have a cleaning business, and Rebecca works with them.

It's possible that, much as Rebecca may want marriage and kids, she's made a choice to focus on helping her parents. These aren't wealthy people; for her to get married would mean she'd have to give up most, if not all, of her work for them in favor of her husband and eventual children. Her marrying and moving out might even pose hardships for them. So I could see someone in that position postponing marriage--or at least not actively seeking a suitor for a while.

I suspect her situation is much more complicated than "can't find a man," and would not be surprised if she's made that choice and accepted being single awhile longer. That family is clearly a loving one, and she seems to have a very generous, giving personality--that choice does not strike me as out-of-character for her.

I have no doubt she could find a nice fella, for all the positive reasons others have mentioned. She seems to have a sense of fun that's really appealing, and a genuine warmth, and those are things that make someone a good partner for the long haul. And while her world's pretty small, she's not cloistered. She'll meet somebody eventually.

As for her not posting much about herself anymore, does she know we discuss her here? (I can't remember if she does or not.) If so, she's smart to not share a lot of personal stuff on her blog (or maybe she puts it in private posts).

ETA: Oh, and add me to the Cameras Hate Me Club roster. I'm a pale brunette, with big brown eyes. But in photos, my eyes look small and squinty, my skin looks like a lump of cold mashed potatoes, and my mouth is so lopsided you'd think I put it on in the dark. The only selfies I ever post are fragmentary, usually with a cat half-obscuring my face.

[WonderingInWA]

She does know that we discuss her here, or at least her father does. He responded on her blog to some discussion we had here probably about a year ago. I don't remember the details, but he felt he needed to set the record straight about himself and his past due to some things we were talking about. I don't know that she reads here, but obviously her father does.

[FloraDoraDolly]

They seem to socialize with a decent number of pants-wearing girls and women, with nary a judgmental mention of anything being out of the ordinary. That's a lot more than we can say about many of the families talked about on FJ.

I believe most of the women in pants are Rebecca's relatives.

[divadivine]

Rebecca is way too nice to ever be part of Maxhell! She has friends and it appears her family likes to have fun. I remember last year she posted photos of gifts she had wrapped for Christmas. I'd hire her to wrap my gifts! I suck at wrapping! She's probably a genuinely nice and caring person. I love that their friends don't look exactly like them- they have friends of different races & they associate with women who wear pants. Rebecca is probably the nicest friend a person could ask for-- it seems like she would be a good listener and give you the shirt off her back.

[bionicmlle]

She does seem like she has a good heart. I love her love for her dog!

I didn't know she lived near St. Louis -- she should befriend Heather of Paralyzed with Joy! and maybe get some friendship as well as some fashion/makeup tips from a bit different brand of fundie.

[Pretzel]

If I remember correctly, no, they didn't read here. Some accusations were going on and discussions and a commenter thought it had to do with FJ, when actually Rebecca and her dad were talking about someone on the blog.

That still makes me angry. As if all snark always hast to come from FJ...

[Jana814]

I agree that Rebecca seems like a nice person. I really hope he gets a spouse.

[Joan of Snarc]

ETA: Oh, and add me to the Cameras Hate Me Club roster. I'm a pale brunette, with big brown eyes.

Wait. What? :pink-shock:

You mean you don't look like this?

I am SHOCKED! SHOCKED, I tell you.

:wink-kitty:

p.s. I know that's the crazy creationist lady (the crazy creationist lady, as if there's just one. Ha! Don't I wish there was just one of them.)

[church_of_dog]

Wait. What? :pink-shock:

You mean you don't look like this?

I am SHOCKED! SHOCKED, I tell you.

:wink-kitty:

p.s. I know that's the crazy creationist lady (the crazy creationist lady, as if there's just one. Ha! Don't I wish there was just one of them.)

lol, I almost posted the same thing! I always think of FJers as looking like their avatars -- even the puppies and kittens and cartoon characters, lol.

But for reals, I thought that photo was Newt's wife?

[salex]

lol, I almost posted the same thing! I always think of FJers as looking like their avatars -- even the puppies and kittens and cartoon characters, lol.

But for reals, I thought that photo was Newt's wife?

I thought it was too.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

That is Newts wife.

[treemom]

She and her family still have whacked patriarchal views, so I don't want to go as far as I like them. But they certainly have a joie de vivre the maxwells hate and don't have.

[NoneandDoneinCali]

I feel kind of uncomfortable devoting a thread to Rebeca's chances to land a man, or make-up tips she should follow, or whether or not she's "officially" obese (not putting any one particular poster down, I'm sure some people are genuinely empathetic). She seems like a nice girl, from a nice (albeit fundamentalist) family. One of the first things she says about herself is that she helps out with the family *business*, not *waits on Daddy hand and foot until God plops a man on her doorstep*. The baking is also part of a family business. Isn't this what we snark on about other SAHDs? Their wacky priorities and sense of entitlement? She works, it's just for her family, she isn't 400 pounds (though, honestly, so what if she was? please spare the comments about "how CONCERNED everyone is for her health" because it sounds really condescending), and I can guaranty she looks better in person than in the few candid shots she posts of herself. Other SAHDs spend half their week preparing for and posing in selfies and photo shoots for their blogs. Rebecca clearly has better things to do. And so what if she devotes her blog to family and friends, rather than modesty tips or how godly it is to clean a ceiling fan on a daily basis? That's a pretty normal thing for a blog to focus on, even outside of Fundy circles. As for her being 23 - don't we have pages and pages devoted to how these fundies get married too young (for the record, I think 23 is still very young for most people)?

She's one of the few people we discuss on here that I genuinely hope meets a nice guy, has lots of babies (I mean 5 or 6, not 20), and gets to stay home with them and be a traditional wife (if that's what she wants). I think that life would make her happy. I feel like we read so much into these blogs that sometimes we lose sight that we're talking about actual people. Feminism is about making choices for yourself and having the agency to do so, we should be supportive of women who want to stay home as long as they aren't suppressing anyone else's choice to lead a different life.